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'Three Stooges' Action Lands Boy in Court
Yahoo News & Mail Tribune ^ | August 8, 2005

Posted on 08/07/2005 9:58:33 PM PDT by lunarbicep

'Three Stooges' Action Lands Boy in Court

A 15-year-old boy who pinched and twisted the nipples of a 13-year-old has been sentenced to three days of community service for harassment.

David Thumler, 15, said the "titty-twister" was just horseplay. The mother of 13-year-old Matthew Cox counters that the incident was humiliating for her son, who saw it as an assault from an older, bigger bully.

"They're not friends," she said. "If he was my son's friend, it would be a different thing," said Bobby Cox.

In addition to the community service, Thumler has been ordered to pay a $67 fine and the misdemeanor has been placed on his permanent record. He can request to have it removed when he turns 18.

Ken Chapman, a Jackson County juvenile probation supervisor, said Oregon law defines physical harassment as "offensive physical touching."

That includes such adolescent antics as "wet-willies," "wedgies," "swirlies," "noogies" and all other forms of "Three Stooges" behavior, Chapman said.

According to David, the two boys were in line at a local deli when Matthew jokingly made an embarrassing remark to the female clerk about David. In retaliation, David counterattacked with the "titty-twister," the 15-year-old said.

"It's a thing of camaraderie," David said. "If he's going to assume our friendship is on that level, then so am I."

A lawyer hired by the 15-year-old's family called the juvenile court's actions "Orwellian."

"They call this 'baby assault,'" said Michael Kellington, a criminal defense attorney in Medford, hired by the family.

Even Bobby Cox said she was surprised to hear that her husbands' call to Gold Hill police resulted in court time for the boy. "Nobody informed me it would be a full-blown trial," she said.

According to Kellington, the incident was blown out of proportion in part because David's mother refused to let him show up for an initial hearing in juvenile court. Christine Alford, David's mother, said she did not let her son attend the hearing because she had seen photos of teenagers in handcuffs on the county's Web site.

Kellington said that Alford's refusal to let David go upped the ante and brought down "unfair, Draconian measures" upon her son. What should have been a discussion between first-time-offender and a representative of the juvenile justice system became a court trial.

"The mom is understandably fearful," said Kellington. "You shouldn't retaliate for the decision of a parent upon the child."

Chapman, the juvenile probation supervisor, said the mother should have known better.

"'Hearing' doesn't mean 'taking into custody,'" he said. "When we take someone into custody, we don't make appointments. If there's a consequence for not coming in informally, well, that's one they chose."

 


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: nyuknyuknyuk; stooges; threestooges
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1 posted on 08/07/2005 9:58:33 PM PDT by lunarbicep
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To: lunarbicep

Nyuk nyuk nyuk!


2 posted on 08/07/2005 9:59:13 PM PDT by HitmanLV
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To: lunarbicep
Friends don't let friends titty-twist.
3 posted on 08/07/2005 10:00:59 PM PDT by Psycho_Bunny (Every evil which liberals imagine Judaism and Christianity to be, islam is.)
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To: lunarbicep
misdemeanor has been placed on his permanent record

Oooooooooh Scarrry.....

4 posted on 08/07/2005 10:01:34 PM PDT by konaice
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To: lunarbicep

I don't think the Stooges ever did a "titty twister." The eye-poke thing, yes. Hitting the other guy over the head with a hammer, yes. Smacking him with a board or a pipe, yes. Squeezing the nose with a pair of pliers, yes. But no titty twisters. That's just juvenile.


5 posted on 08/07/2005 10:03:15 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: lunarbicep
"titty-twister" . . . Bobby Cox. . . .

As opposed to "teddy-turner" and the other Bobby Cox.

6 posted on 08/07/2005 10:03:18 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Braves new world.)
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To: lunarbicep

The 3 Stooges never did that. How dare the MSM defame our beloved Stooges!


7 posted on 08/07/2005 10:03:21 PM PDT by Kirkwood
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To: lunarbicep

Whistle and I will let go.


8 posted on 08/07/2005 10:04:43 PM PDT by winodog (We need to pull the fedgov.con's feeding tube)
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To: Kirkwood
Just saw the Shemp western where they escape form the tavern prison.

No chance of seeing a titty twister in any episode. A pineapple with a string attached to it, yes.

9 posted on 08/07/2005 10:05:01 PM PDT by Archie Bunker on steroids
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To: Kirkwood

the MSM let "facts" get in the way?


10 posted on 08/07/2005 10:05:51 PM PDT by lunarbicep (Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others - Churchill)
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To: lunarbicep

I thot maybe he did the handsaw across the top of the head ... the stooges never did 'the twister'


11 posted on 08/07/2005 10:06:10 PM PDT by InvisibleChurch (Mr. Chambers! Don't get on that ship! The rest of the book, "To Serve Man", it's... it's a cookbook!)
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To: lunarbicep

How far will we let the weak-kneed sissies go? Man there used to be a time when people actually took pride and stuck up for themselves, even if it meant getting their butts kicked. Speaking from experience here, and it earned me respect.


12 posted on 08/07/2005 10:06:11 PM PDT by vpintheak (Liberal = The antithesis of Freedom and Patriotism)
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To: lunarbicep
I hope the estate sues the author for slander. With the exception of a noogie or two, I never saw any of those other antics performed by The Three Stooges. Certainly not a nipple twister.
13 posted on 08/07/2005 10:08:03 PM PDT by NonValueAdded ("Freedom of speech makes it much easier to spot the idiots." [Jay Lessig, 2/7/2005])
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To: lunarbicep; Lazamataz; little jeremiah; bitt; nopardons

...howcome Mommy was speaking for the 13-year old? Teens are adults who can have abortions and deserve privacy. So why is Mom butting in--and where is NAMBLA, Planned Parenthood and the ACLU to stand up for this homosexual, consensual behavior and tell Mom to shut up?



/sarcasm


14 posted on 08/07/2005 10:08:52 PM PDT by The Spirit Of Allegiance (SAVE THE BRAINFOREST! Boycott the RED Dead Tree Media & NUKE the DNC Class Action Temper Tantrum!)
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To: lunarbicep

I thought that a titty twister called for a knee to the 'nads! It worked for me!


15 posted on 08/07/2005 10:08:58 PM PDT by SWAMPSNIPER (LET ME DIE ON MY FEET IN MY SWAMP, ALEX KOZINSKI FOR SCOTUS)
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To: lunarbicep

16 posted on 08/07/2005 10:09:43 PM PDT by hole_n_one
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To: lunarbicep
What should have been a discussion between first-time-offender and a representative of the juvenile justice system became a court trial.

WTF??? Have people gone insane?

What (at most) should have been a conversation between parents and children has become a nanny-state circus, complete with the entire entourage.

How can children learn to sort their differences out like adults when the adults go running to the authorities over stuff this dumb?

The humiliation of a "titty twister" is nothing compared to being in the news for mom and dad whining about it.

ARRRRRRGH!

17 posted on 08/07/2005 10:12:49 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (God save us from the fury of the do-gooders!)
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To: lunarbicep
I remember the Three Stooges and they were in fact VERY violent.
It was done in slapstick, so they made it funny, but lots of twisting, hitting, slapping, falling, kicking and beatings with objects were very visible in these comedy shorts.
18 posted on 08/07/2005 10:13:24 PM PDT by A CA Guy (God Bless America, God bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: lunarbicep

I don't remember that ever happening on "The 3 Stooges."

But I'm with the mother. I wanted to kill a lot of people in school who did that to me.


19 posted on 08/07/2005 10:13:36 PM PDT by pcottraux
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To: Billthedrill

lol!


20 posted on 08/07/2005 10:14:58 PM PDT by hole_n_one
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To: lunarbicep
"They're not friends," she said. "If he was my son's friend, it would be a different thing," said Bobby Cox.

Yet another case of moral relativism. It becomes less amusing every time it rears its ugly head.
21 posted on 08/07/2005 10:16:34 PM PDT by so_real ("The Congress of the United States recommends and approves the Holy Bible for use in all schools.")
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To: Archie Bunker on steroids

The judge's ruling is indicative of the heinous nature of the titty-twister. Unlike the double-finger eye poke, which can be neutralized by the counter-move of placing the hand vertically flush with the nose and perpendicular with the face, the titty-twister has no known countermove. Thus, a more stiffer sentence for its use is warranted.


22 posted on 08/07/2005 10:16:51 PM PDT by McBuff
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To: Archie Bunker on steroids

The judge's ruling is indicative of the heinous nature of the titty-twister. Unlike the double-finger eye poke, which can be neutralized by the counter-move of placing the hand vertically flush with the nose and perpendicular with the face, the titty-twister has no known countermove. Thus, a more stiffer sentence for its use is warranted.


23 posted on 08/07/2005 10:17:32 PM PDT by McBuff
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To: NonValueAdded
I hope the estate sues the author for slander.

It could happen, since they're represented by the firm of . . .


24 posted on 08/07/2005 10:23:12 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson ("Oh, wise guys, eh?")
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To: McBuff
placing the hand vertically flush with the nose and perpendicular with the face

This maneuver is known as 'Curly Protection' and was widely practiced by pre-teens and psychologically arrested pre-adults until the late 1980s when Ted Turner took the fun out of everything.

25 posted on 08/07/2005 10:25:22 PM PDT by IncPen (There's nothing that a liberal can't improve using your money...)
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To: Smokin' Joe
[What (at most) should have been a conversation between parents and children has become a nanny-state circus, complete with the entire entourage. How can children learn to sort their differences out like adults when the adults go running to the authorities over stuff this dumb?]


Unfortunately, this has now become necessary in many cases.

It used to be when one kid crossed the line in his behavior against other kids, a phone call to the offending kid's parents "fixed" the situation.

Now, there are many parents who refuse to believe ill of their priceless children and don't administer discipline on them as needed.

The result is either the victim's parents engaging in vigilantism against the offending minor because his own parents aren't taking care of the problem, or bringing the incident into the venue of law enforcement.
26 posted on 08/07/2005 10:26:29 PM PDT by spinestein (The facts fairly and honestly presented, truth will take care of itself.)
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To: vpintheak

The father is a prime example of feminized male....he felt so strongly about it he called the cops...but couldnt be bothered to call the kids parents...or heaven forbid actually have the balls to drive over and knock on the door...

The kid is going to grow up just like his wussie dad....

I'd had died of embarrasment if I spilled even half of what was normal taunting of other kids...One gets even...even if you get yer ass kicked...

Wonder how bad the kid will be taunted now?...his mommy and daddy had to call the cops over a titty twister?

Liberalism IS a mental disorder...and it's spreading...


27 posted on 08/07/2005 10:27:04 PM PDT by Crim (I may be a Mr "know it all"....but I'm also a Mr "forgot most of it"...)
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To: lunarbicep
Cox said she was surprised to hear that her husbands' call to Gold Hill police resulted in court time for the boy.

Christine Alford, David's mother, said she did not let her son attend the hearing because she had seen photos of teenagers in handcuffs on the county's Web site.

This gal is a trouble making idiot from the get-go. She is a former Gold Hill city (Hah! City? Running joke, is more like it.) councilwoman, who has publicly stated she is a trouble maker, and proud of it.

I can't believe she didn't know the difference between showing up for a preliminary hearing, and being arrested.

I'm sorry her son has her for his mother; and sorry he has to pay extra for her stupidity. Still, I hope he learned to keep his hands to himself.

28 posted on 08/07/2005 10:28:58 PM PDT by ApplegateRanch (The Marching Morons are coming...and they're breeding more Democrats beyond all reason!)
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To: McBuff
[the titty-twister has no known countermove]


How about a poke in the snoot?
or a punch in the bread basket?
or a kick to the nads?
29 posted on 08/07/2005 10:29:49 PM PDT by spinestein (The facts fairly and honestly presented, truth will take care of itself.)
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To: spinestein
I hate to say it, but when we were kids, the "titty twister" was not even worth a mention to our folks; we gave as good as we got.

If we just keep making whining weenies out of our kids, then it will only take a generation or two for some other country to come in and take over by bruising egos and lowering self esteem with epithets over loudspeakers, turning the population into sniveling globs of spineless protoplasm.

Hell, they won't even have to load their rifles.

30 posted on 08/07/2005 10:35:27 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (God save us from the fury of the do-gooders!)
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To: Smokin' Joe

I can't disagree with anything you said.


31 posted on 08/07/2005 10:38:06 PM PDT by spinestein (The facts fairly and honestly presented, truth will take care of itself.)
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To: lunarbicep
According to David, the two boys were in line at a local deli when Matthew jokingly made an embarrassing remark to the female clerk about David

You know, JOKINGLY is usually found at the start of MOST law school questions in TORT..

32 posted on 08/07/2005 10:42:44 PM PDT by Experiment 6-2-6 (When the disbeliever sees this, he will say, 'How nice if I was also turned into sand.')
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To: McBuff
Cover the nipples with the off-hand forearm. Grab the wrist of the offending (incoming) hand with the strong hand in an underhand grip on the wrist, twist the arm, preferably ending up holding the offender with their hand between their shoulder blades. It helps if the 'attacker' is left handed and you are right handed or vice versa. If not, use an overhanded grip on the wrist.

If that fails, attack back...

33 posted on 08/07/2005 10:42:47 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (God save us from the fury of the do-gooders!)
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To: Experiment 6-2-6

Such as, Mr. Smith jokingly drove his car into Mrs. Jones.


34 posted on 08/07/2005 10:43:55 PM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (No wonder the Southern Baptist Church threw Greer out: Only one god per church! [Ann Coulter])
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To: lunarbicep

Lawyers are getting in the way of our kids being kids.


35 posted on 08/07/2005 10:46:59 PM PDT by fella (In law nothing is certain but the expense. - S. Butler)
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To: fella
Lawyers are getting in the way of our kids being kids.

more like parents running to lawyers thats getting in the way of our kids being kids

36 posted on 08/07/2005 11:03:27 PM PDT by lunarbicep (Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others - Churchill)
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To: lunarbicep

Hmm. I think I'm in the clear. What's the statute of limitations on a wedgie?


37 posted on 08/07/2005 11:05:18 PM PDT by Zack Attack
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To: HitmanNY

What about 'Indian burns' and 'red bellies', and 'slugs' when you forget to holler 'safety!' after you burp?


38 posted on 08/08/2005 12:17:36 AM PDT by Armigerous ( Non permitte illegitimi te carborundum- "Don't let the bastards grind you down")
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To: spinestein

I think an overhand, double slap of the "tittie twisting hands" hands would be my countermove........... The momentum would bring the hands full circle onto my own head, resulting in 2 coconut sound effects, but breaking the hold of the tittie twister.Opening offenses could be a simple eyepoke up to an advanced ear-box.


39 posted on 08/08/2005 3:49:40 AM PDT by singletrack (..................................................................)
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To: Armigerous

Sorry, "Indian burns" (we called them Indian rope burns) are out of the question now. Someone might be offended.


40 posted on 08/08/2005 3:59:22 AM PDT by Fresh Wind (It is Watergate yet? Is it Watergate yet?)
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To: singletrack

A good sharp kick in the ankles sounds like it would be in order. A slap? That's sissy.


41 posted on 08/08/2005 4:04:38 AM PDT by The Red Zone (Florida, the sun-shame state, and Illinois the chicken injun.)
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To: Archie Bunker on steroids
No chance of seeing a titty twister in any episode. A pineapple with a string attached to it, yes.

That made me laugh out loud! Ah, there aren't enough pineapples on strings in movies anymore.

42 posted on 08/08/2005 4:13:35 AM PDT by Puddleglum (Thank God the Boston blowhard lost)
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To: McBuff
The judge's ruling is indicative of the heinous nature of the titty-twister. Unlike the double-finger eye poke, which can be neutralized by the counter-move of placing the hand vertically flush with the nose and perpendicular with the face, the titty-twister has no known countermove. Thus, a more stiffer sentence for its use is warranted.

Very true! Also, the Stooges (and liking or hating thereof) is one of the most reliable gender signifiers known to science.

43 posted on 08/08/2005 4:17:05 AM PDT by Puddleglum (Thank God the Boston blowhard lost)
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To: Fresh Wind
Sorry, "Indian burns" (we called them Indian rope burns) are out of the question now.

In my day and place, they were called "snake burns." If one was an Indian giver, one might get snake-burned in return.

44 posted on 08/08/2005 4:39:16 AM PDT by Cboldt
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To: lunarbicep

Teenagers ought to be able to resolve these types of issues without parental interference. No wonder there seems to be more and more 29 year old children still living at home with mommy and daddy.


45 posted on 08/08/2005 4:43:48 AM PDT by Labyrinthos
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To: vpintheak
there used to be a time when people actually took pride and stuck up for themselves, even if it meant getting their butts kicked.

You were never smaller than everyone else or a geek, were you? Picked on daily? Dreading going to school every day? I mean, yes it helped form my character, but I could have done without it. And I think it is up to the authorities to get bullies early.

46 posted on 08/08/2005 4:44:24 AM PDT by Shazbot29 (Light a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day; light him on fire, he'll be warm the rest of his life)
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To: lunarbicep

Gee, to think I could have had Garry Graham thrown in the slammer.

He never twisted anything... he just beat the crap out of me periodically.

On second thought, no, I couldn't have. That was the early to mid-sixties. Society was a bit saner then.

Dan


47 posted on 08/08/2005 4:46:10 AM PDT by BibChr ("...behold, they have rejected the word of the LORD, so what wisdom is in them?" [Jer. 8:9])
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To: lunarbicep
Thumler has been ordered to pay a $67 fine

$33.50 per nipple sounds a little extreme for me.

48 posted on 08/08/2005 5:27:29 AM PDT by linkinpunk
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To: singletrack

LOL!


49 posted on 08/08/2005 6:59:12 PM PDT by spinestein (The facts fairly and honestly presented, truth will take care of itself.)
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To: lunarbicep

If they arrested all of us and charged us with assault as kids who pulled three stoges moves on each other, well, we would have been an entire generation of crimminals.


50 posted on 08/08/2005 8:30:13 PM PDT by festus (The constitution may be flawed but its a whole lot better than what we have now.)
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