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Kerry Demands Silver Star for Piloting Swift Boat Through New Orleans
chronwatch.com ^ | 9/13/05 | Jeremy Robb

Posted on 09/12/2005 9:32:19 PM PDT by bitt

'WASHINGTON, DC --- John Kerry contacted the Pentagon today to request a Silver Star for a recent swift boat mission he ran through the streets of New Orleans. While the Pentagon claims the mission was unauthorized, Kerry claims it was a secret mission approved by the highest levels of the government.

"I clearly remember listening to the radio and hearing President Bush deny that swift boats were in New Orleans," said Kerry. "And there I was on a swift boat in New Orleans. Dodging bullets. Scanning the shore for enemy fire and mortar attack. The band aid on my hand covers a wound I received while moving too quickly on deck for a photo op and scraping against the railing."

Sean Penn tried to join Kerry on his own swift boat, but it sank before leaving dock. Penn forgot to put the plug in the bottom of the boat and refused to stuff his Communist flag in the hole to prevent flooding.'


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Extended News; Government; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: americangigolo; gigolo; kerry; lovey; lyingtraitor; no; pondscum; silverstar; swiftboatcaptain; teresasgigolo; teresaspoodle; traitor; treason
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1 posted on 09/12/2005 9:32:21 PM PDT by bitt
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To: Kenny Bunk


2 posted on 09/12/2005 9:32:38 PM PDT by bitt ('But once the shooting starts, a plan is just a guess in a party dress.' Michael Yon)
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To: bitt

ROFL


3 posted on 09/12/2005 9:33:13 PM PDT by AliVeritas (Ignorance is a condition. Stupidity is a strategy.)
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To: bitt

You're kidding, right?


4 posted on 09/12/2005 9:34:01 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: AliVeritas
check out the other stories by this guy, here:

http://jerhad.typepad.com/jerhad/

I like this one:

"Cindy Sheehan Moves to New Orleans to Get Attention Back on Her"

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana --- Cindy Sheehan announced plans to move to New Orleans in order to make the media pay attention to her again. The protester admitted that she is going through withdrawals and depression since the media stopped listening to her and focused on Hurricane Katrina.

"My story is important," said Cindy. "More important than a few dead people killed by Bush's global warming-induced hurricane. Bush has killed millions of people in Iraq, and the media needs to start listening to me again. Maybe now that I'm in New Orleans I'll get the attention I deserve again."

Cindy is currently on a waiting list to move to New Orleans now that other forgotten politicians and celebrities are rushing to the city for more press coverage. Al Gore and Sean Penn expressed support for Cindy but were concerned she would derail their attempt to get noticed again while they are in New Orleans.

5 posted on 09/12/2005 9:37:01 PM PDT by bitt ('But once the shooting starts, a plan is just a guess in a party dress.' Michael Yon)
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To: pcottraux

The sad thing is that, these days, we have to double-check to distinguish parody from reality regarding Democrats...


6 posted on 09/12/2005 9:38:06 PM PDT by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: bitt

Very funny, BOTH of 'em!!


7 posted on 09/12/2005 9:39:23 PM PDT by Theresawithanh (As long as Dean's the head of the D-N-C, it just looks better for the G-O-P!!)
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To: bitt

That's the subject of my latest FReeptoon, coming Wed. at 4.

Pardon the shameless advertising.


8 posted on 09/12/2005 9:39:47 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: bitt

And a purple heart for shooting himslef in the arse with a grain of rice?


9 posted on 09/12/2005 9:40:02 PM PDT by FreedomNeocon (I'm in no Al-Samood for this Sheiite.)
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To: bitt

"More important than a few dead people killed by Bush's global warming-induced hurricane. Bush has killed millions of people in Iraq, and the media needs to start listening to me again. Maybe now that I'm in New Orleans I'll get the attention I deserve again."

Almost doesn't sound like a parody.


10 posted on 09/12/2005 9:40:37 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: pcottraux

will you ping me with it?


11 posted on 09/12/2005 9:42:04 PM PDT by bitt ('But once the shooting starts, a plan is just a guess in a party dress.' Michael Yon)
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To: bitt

It was seared - seared into his memory!


12 posted on 09/12/2005 9:42:23 PM PDT by glorgau
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub

ping-a-ling


13 posted on 09/12/2005 9:43:07 PM PDT by Delta 21 (Its only funny till someone gets hurt, Then its HILARIOUS.)
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To: bitt

Sure.


14 posted on 09/12/2005 9:47:53 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: pcottraux

Sad part is ..none of this would surprise me if it all was true..I've seen and heard worse from the left..
BTW.US News had an article on how it's an OBVIOUS FACT thatGlobal Warming started the hurricane ( with huge doses of Bush Bashing included )


15 posted on 09/12/2005 9:50:56 PM PDT by hoboken109
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To: bitt

Hey!
Great to see angel tits from Vacaville CA is back in the news!

Are there levees near Vacaville? She is a refugee!


16 posted on 09/12/2005 9:53:24 PM PDT by F14-VietVet (Never Forget 9/11 !)
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To: FreedomNeocon

Aw, No fair, you said it before I did!


17 posted on 09/12/2005 9:53:26 PM PDT by Bush gal in LA
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To: Colonial Warrior

Ping


18 posted on 09/12/2005 9:54:07 PM PDT by Hushpuppie
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To: bitt
Here was the last one. We'll find out what happens next: Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com
19 posted on 09/12/2005 9:56:14 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: pcottraux

Cool, maybe I ought to try my hand at that cartoon stuff. Took 4 years of art school. Thanks for the idea.


20 posted on 09/12/2005 9:59:19 PM PDT by television is just wrong (http://hehttp://print.google.com/print/doc?articleidisblogs.blogspot.com/ (visit blogs, visit ads).)
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To: television is just wrong

Took no art school myself. Just taught myself over the years. Still need improving, though.


21 posted on 09/12/2005 10:01:30 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: bitt

Thank you so much for the website. The last time I had this much fun laughing was visiting Kommunists for Kerry during the election. I really enjoy this guy's sense of humor.


22 posted on 09/12/2005 10:03:38 PM PDT by Waryone
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To: bitt

:)

Red6


23 posted on 09/12/2005 10:06:11 PM PDT by Red6
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To: bitt

:) You're out of control!

Red6


24 posted on 09/12/2005 10:07:51 PM PDT by Red6
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To: Delta 21; The Sailor; txradioguy; Jet Jaguar; Defender2; Blue Scourge; Cool Multiservice Soldier; ..
WAKEUP AMERICA!

Anyone who thinks Hanoi Kerry and Hanoi Jane
aren't behind
Baghdad Cindy and Baghdad Moore
and the anti war crowd
needs to get a clue.
Remember the slaughter and torture of the people of Viet Nam by the communists
while Hanoi Kerry and Hanoi Jane cheered their commie buddies!



Free online version of
Hanoi Kerry's "The New Soldier"
You can read it online right now!







Click Here
for Documents, Film Clips, Audio about
Treason by Hanoi Kerry and Hanoi Jane



25 posted on 09/12/2005 10:12:37 PM PDT by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub (Never Forget the traitors who sold out to the commies!)
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To: bitt; SeeRushToldU_So; xsmommy; secret garden
The band aid on my hand covers a wound I received while moving too quickly on deck for a photo op and scraping against the railing."

Loved it!

26 posted on 09/12/2005 10:17:51 PM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA (Prayers for healing and relief from pain for Cowboy...........)
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To: bitt

Here deserves the CMOH !!!!


27 posted on 09/12/2005 10:23:00 PM PDT by LM_Guy
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
"The band aid on my hand covers a wound I received while moving too quickly on deck for a photo op and scraping against the railing."

The horror... The horror...


28 posted on 09/12/2005 10:25:38 PM PDT by Ichneumon
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub

29 posted on 09/12/2005 10:33:52 PM PDT by Smartass (Si vis pacem, para bellum - Por el dedo de Dios se escribió)
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To: bitt
He doesn't rate a Silver Star unless he shot a kid in the back who was carrying an empty Super Soaker outside a 7-11.

He qualifies for the Chicken Heart though.

30 posted on 09/12/2005 10:34:17 PM PDT by BIGLOOK (I once opposed keelhauling but recently have come to my senses.)
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To: bitt

Thanks! I went to the jerhad site and book marked it for future use for laughs and to send to my liberal friends.


31 posted on 09/13/2005 12:59:05 AM PDT by Cobra64
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To: Theresawithanh

Go to the jerhad website... You'll stay up another half hour or more as I did.


32 posted on 09/13/2005 1:00:13 AM PDT by Cobra64
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To: bitt; Salamander; King Prout; Do not dub me shapka broham; All

The thing is, if he DID pilot a Swift Boat through New Orleans, it would probably require more bravery than his "exploits" during the war.


33 posted on 09/13/2005 1:08:07 AM PDT by shibumi (Not a Speck of Cereal!)
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Every time I see Kerry I hear the tuba playing from the Munsters theme song.


34 posted on 09/13/2005 1:15:37 AM PDT by Cougar66 (The only liberal movement is what's in their diapers. .)
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To: pcottraux

Of course, he's kidding. Sean Penn isn't though. He wants one for rescuing people in spite of going in there with a leaky boat.


35 posted on 09/13/2005 2:47:56 AM PDT by moog
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To: Waryone

Too many people take themselves way too seriously on both sides of the spectrum nowadays. It's nice that there are still some around who don't.


36 posted on 09/13/2005 2:48:58 AM PDT by moog
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To: Cougar66

Every time I see Kerry I hear the tuba playing from the Munsters theme song.

Which character does he remind you of?


37 posted on 09/13/2005 2:49:46 AM PDT by moog
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub

BTT!!!!


38 posted on 09/13/2005 3:03:45 AM PDT by E.G.C.
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To: shibumi

a fun bit of creative writing - certainly of better quality than the fiction passed off as news these days.


39 posted on 09/13/2005 3:05:40 AM PDT by King Prout (and the Clinton Legacy continues: like Herpes, it is a gift that keeps on giving.)
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To: bitt
LOL!...precious! :D
40 posted on 09/13/2005 3:22:19 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass (Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you :^)
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To: pcottraux
..Just post it BOLDLY. :D
41 posted on 09/13/2005 3:24:31 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass (Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you :^)
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To: pcottraux

hehehe


42 posted on 09/13/2005 3:26:24 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass (Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you :^)
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To: bitt

"I clearly remember listening to the radio and hearing President Bush deny that swift boats were in New Orleans," said Kerry.

Seared, seared into his memory, right?


43 posted on 09/13/2005 4:43:01 AM PDT by NRA1995 (I hear the Vonage music playing.....woo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo....)
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To: bitt

heh heh heh


44 posted on 09/13/2005 4:44:11 AM PDT by tiredoflaundry (Tampa Bay, Home of the Stanley Cup Champions The Tampa Bay Lightning!)
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To: pcottraux

cool. I'll be looking for more...


45 posted on 09/13/2005 4:46:52 AM PDT by bitt ('But once the shooting starts, a plan is just a guess in a party dress.' Michael Yon)
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To: Lil'freeper; big'ol_freeper

ping!


46 posted on 09/13/2005 5:09:32 AM PDT by sauropod (Polite political action is about as useful as a miniskirt in a convent -- Claire Wolfe)
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To: bitt

ROFLOL.


47 posted on 09/13/2005 5:19:19 AM PDT by Mrs.Nooseman
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To: bitt

48 posted on 09/13/2005 5:20:20 AM PDT by sweetliberty (Stupidity should make you sterile.)
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To: bitt

LOL!


49 posted on 09/13/2005 5:21:25 AM PDT by sweetliberty (Stupidity should make you sterile.)
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To: bitt
You knew that with a thread title like this one, we'd just have to look...

; )
50 posted on 09/13/2005 5:30:26 AM PDT by George W. Bush
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