More women are asking for prenups

Sun Sentinel ^ | September 18, 2005 | Georgia East

[Caipirabob]

Over a casual dinner, Rachel Kaplan turned to her boyfriend and asked, "You're open for a prenup, right?"

Darren Waldohlz, 38, a partner in a successful speed-dating business, admits he was caught off guard. But he said he realized a prenuptial agreement would protect the house he owns, too.

"It's not that I plan to get divorced," says Kaplan, 23, a single mom from Fort Lauderdale, who has a sizable inheritance. "I have to protect myself and my daughter."

While men are still more likely to seek a prenup, "women are becoming a more dominant force," said attorney Alan Braverman, who has offices in Fort Lauderdale and Boynton Beach.

Experts attribute the change to women marrying later or more than once.

"It's not uncommon in today's world that women are entering marriages with assets and stock options," said matrimonial attorney Jacqueline Valdespino, in Coral Gables. "Now both sides have equal bargaining power."

[Goodgirlinred]

I am a widow. I have 3 daughters and 8 grandchildren who will inherit. If I were to ever remarry, I would certainly have a pre-nup and would expect the person I marry to have one, as he would probably want one as well.. The reason I would have one is to protect my children's inheritance.

Also, I was about to marry a man who, it turned out later, was only interested in my money. He turned out to be a very skilled professional con artist. I had only been married to one man, for 33 years since I was 18, so I was very naive about such things. Thank heavens I realized I was about to make a big mistake!

Divorce is not the only reason to have a pre-nup. One could stay in a happy marriage until death. Then there might be problems with step-children and children of the deceased couple.

[Goodgirlinred]

You would not discuss such a serious subject over dinner. I would not even breach the subject until the man had asked me to marry him and I wanted to marry him.

[HairOfTheDog]

The advice "Look very carefully before you jump" is not preposterous. It is common sense.

We agree. Look carefully to find out if the man who is calling drags his knuckles on the ground when he is comin' up the driveway. ;~D

[Goodgirlinred]

Not if she is the wealthy one at the time of the marriage. In this day and age, I don't think that it is unreasonable to have mutual prenups. That does not mean that the people don't truly love each other and plan on being married forever.

[Goodgirlinred]

The same for women. This is not a feminist point of view, it is a realistic one. Many women have money or better jobs than the men when they marry. There are men who seek provisions for their lifestyles from their wives.

[Goodgirlinred]

Amen. Gender is not restrictive in this matter.

[HairOfTheDog]

Usually, good sarcasm is better without the emoticon. ;~D

And maddening as the most irritating people are on both sides of this issue, the troglodyte male ~created~ the need for feminism in the first place, way back when.... As soon as the last of the troglodytes die out, so will the inspiration to be a man-hating feminist, and everyone will be better off.

[Prophet in the wilderness]

In the first place ? Get your facts straight, the person I was talking about who said " I don't love him anymore " was not my mother, it was a woman from a couple I knew, and her husband never cheated on her, she just decided one day that she didn't love him anymore, but, she surely got have of everything he owns.
You make it sound like that it's ok for women to cheat on their husbands, but, Men are dogs and rats if they cheat on their wives. Just incredible.
I never said I think it was ok for my dad to cheat on my mom, I was just talking about her vindictiveness in how she treated him after wards, in when he gave the money to her that was ordered from the court.
He did his best to support us, but, the money seemed to never be there for us, in other words ? my mom misused the money.
Get your facts straight before you open your mouth in something you don't have any knowledge about, I was there, I know what happened, and you don't.

[najida]

I agree,
BOTH need to be careful before they jump.
Especially the one who has a child...

How many DBBF's kids(Death By Boyfriend) do we read about here in a week? And it could just as easily read DBGF too.

IMO, what is best for the child comes first. Period.

[Goodgirlinred]

I believe in the past the courts were protecting women whose husbands left them for younger women. The wives, never having worked outside the home or not since the children were born, should have some assistance while they develop the skills to support themselves.

Why are you all talking about feminism. That went by the wayside after the 60's, along with the flower children.

[Prophet in the wilderness]

" It works both ways in case you have forgotten. ......"
excuse me ? thats the VERY POINT I was trying to make here, it's just, you only want to hear , that YOU want to hear.

[najida]

Oh lord,
Can't you see it as a game show?
Troglodytes vs ManHaters, he he he...
Squaring off to see who can change diapers, chop wood, whine, bitch, moan and see who can subjugate the other the fastest.

They're two sides of the same coin aren't they?

I'd pay good money to see that.

[Prophet in the wilderness]

Feminism had it's best days during the 70's and 80's.
Feminism is diametrically opposed to God and God's word, and he rebellion against God.

[HairOfTheDog]

I'd pay good money to see that.

I'll bring the popcorn...

[Prophet in the wilderness]

What do you mean by that ?

[Arpege92]

Wrong again. I want to hear the truth, you want to hear the sound of your own voice. Big difference. Let's do one another a favor and ignore eachother before this gets out of hand.

[Prophet in the wilderness]

What are you talking about ?

[Prophet in the wilderness]

So basically, you are saying that those women who cheat are justified, but, men who cheat are no good rats and dogs ?

[Polybius]

Any man who believes that once a woman has a child she can no longer honestly love a man, or be loved by one, because there is a child, should never get married.

That statement is a Strawman Argument of your own creation.

My original statement was that a young single man should consider at least five times why a woman without a child might not be a better choice for him than a single Mom who might be more interested in financial security considerations than in true love.

I imagine it was quite different than you assume.... Unless you think the man who fell in love with her was just a stupid victim, like you have assumed all men who suffer women.

There you go again. Another Strawmwn Argument.

If I advise caution under very specific circumstances, you claim that I think that all men who interact with women must be "stupid victims".

Any man that knowingly gets involved with a woman that has flat out said that she will be married within a year to a man that she has not even met yet is a "stupid victim".

I'm quite certain that that particular guy did not know that information as I doubt she ever discussed her self-imposed deadlines with him and she never brought him around work to meet the people who she bragged about her deadline too.

The guy was not "stupid". He was uninformed and, if he had been more cautious, he should have said, "What's the rush? Let's slow down and get to know each other better before we get married."

Don't make so many assumptions about the hearts of others. So she talked about the baby to former coworkers....

What assumptions?

It is a fact that she bragged that she would have that baby within a one year and a few months time period........now pay attention to this crucial point.......with a man she had not even met yet.

would you rather she talked about the great sex that made it happen?

Another Strawman Argument.

I would have rather if she had said how she was ready to settle down and start a family with a man that she truly loved. I would rather if she had said that she realized that finding such a man can take time but that she would give it as much time as was needed in order to be certain that it was True Love.

Instead, she focused on a self-imposed time deadline of marrying a man she had not even met yet within one year before she turned 30........And when she bragged about that, she had just turned 29!

I met my husband 'over the internet', right her on FReeRepublic as a sheer coincidence. He lived 1400 miles away, and we only got to date in person a week before he decided to go home and pack. Of course, we knew each other quite well before we ever met.

That is the point:

You knew each other well.

No arbitrary time deadlines were imposed by either one of you.

By the time you were married, it was true love.

The Internet part of it is a minor detail. Everybody has to meet somewhere.

There is a difference between meeting sombedody on the Internet and letting love develop as opposed to using the Internet as the most time-efficient way to meet people aand then rushing the relationship solely for the purpose of meeting a self-imposed one year dealine for meeting a total stranger and then marrying him in order to have children as soon as biologically possible after that.

[Prophet in the wilderness]

I agree, if a woman makes more money than a man, she should also seek a prenup to protect her financial interest.
But, apart from that, society as a whole has declined were you can't trust no one on their word anymore, so thats why you need to seek legal and financial counsel when ever you are dealing with business deals, or any kind of finances in todays world.