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More women are asking for prenups
Sun Sentinel ^ | September 18, 2005 | Georgia East

Posted on 09/18/2005 3:05:48 AM PDT by Caipirabob

Over a casual dinner, Rachel Kaplan turned to her boyfriend and asked, "You're open for a prenup, right?"

Darren Waldohlz, 38, a partner in a successful speed-dating business, admits he was caught off guard. But he said he realized a prenuptial agreement would protect the house he owns, too.

"It's not that I plan to get divorced," says Kaplan, 23, a single mom from Fort Lauderdale, who has a sizable inheritance. "I have to protect myself and my daughter."

While men are still more likely to seek a prenup, "women are becoming a more dominant force," said attorney Alan Braverman, who has offices in Fort Lauderdale and Boynton Beach.

Experts attribute the change to women marrying later or more than once.

"It's not uncommon in today's world that women are entering marriages with assets and stock options," said matrimonial attorney Jacqueline Valdespino, in Coral Gables. "Now both sides have equal bargaining power."

(Excerpt) Read more at sun-sentinel.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News
KEYWORDS: divorce; greed; marriage; matrimony; prenup; prenuptual
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To: Arpege92
Yes.. it was a travesty 50 years ago if a man were to leave his wife and find a new girlfriend, and leave his family.
However ? women are not angles either, and they did the same thing 50 years ago also, fooling around behind their husbands backs while the men are at work trying to feed the family.
So ? don't try to make women out to be the angles that you are trying to do here.
And what is the excuse for women today fooling around on their husbands backs ?
Or women taking men for a ride and taking every dime he's got even though he didn't deserve to be treated that way.
I know a couple who were married 25 years, and she just decided one day " I don't love him anymore, but ? still got half of everything he owns ( even though, he got his wealth before he meet her ) is it revenge that women are seeking towards men ?
You know, women DO cheat on their husbands ? it's been going on since time began.
I am not trying to seek a argument with you, I believe you are a decent, honest, caring person who wants to do the best in the world.
but, you must also look at both sides of the issue, not just one side.
Women are not angles either, and I also know that men can be rats also in the way they treat women, but, women must also admit and recognize that they also treat men like dirt also.
I had a friend tell me onetime that he was watching the Oprah show one time.
It was about WOMEN WHO TAKE MEN FOR A RIDE FINANCAILLY ..... and he told me, when Oprah and the women talked about how they managed to cheat those men out of their money, they laughed about it in front of the whole national TV audience....
That's just plane WRONG, and if I saw a TV show were men treat women like dogs or cheat women out of their money, that is WRONG ALSO.

I saw how divorce devastated my family when my dad went out and cheated on my mom and we had NOTHING.
No money, or food, no nothing
BUT ????? it wasn't because my dad didn't try to feed us, or help us.
It was because my mom was a bad manager of the money my dad gave her, and also ?
She had to get her revenge against him, and was vindictive towards him, and spent the money some were else to make him look bad ( THAT"S PLAIN WRONG ) yes, he cheated on her, but,, that does not make her right to make him look worse than the situation already was.
My dad was always a good provider, and even after he left us, he did his best to provide for us, but, my mom wanted to " STICK IT TO MY DAD IN HER REVENGE ) and either spent the money he gave her unwisely, or spent the money somewere else.
41 posted on 09/18/2005 5:30:59 AM PDT by Prophet in the wilderness (PSALM 53 : 1 The FOOL hath said in his heart , There is no GOD .)
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To: Ajnin
Dearly beloved,

How about taking your prenuptual agreement on the flight with you to Somalia? I bought you a one-way ticket.

P.S. Don't let the door hit you on your conceited little butt on the way out.

America - home of millions of women with attitude. (like we need more of that)

This is still more proof American males should seek women from Russia and Eastern Europe.

42 posted on 09/18/2005 5:36:01 AM PDT by NoControllingLegalAuthority
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To: TheSpottedOwl
They are one person during the courting process, then they get the ring on your finger, and you see the real person. If you're young, it's difficult to spot them in time.

I had some mighty big blinders when I married my first wife. She was young (17) and I was her 3rd husband. I found this out when applying for the license – but by then it was too late. We had a great relationship before we married.
On the morning after she woke me up, pointed at the certificate on the wall and said, “Now you can’t leave me.” The marriage lasted 6 months.
43 posted on 09/18/2005 5:37:30 AM PDT by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
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To: TheSpottedOwl
Look...... some people have entered a marriage on good footing, or good motives, however ? NONE of US know what's truly in a person's mind or heart, and no matter how many year you may know someone, we really don't.
Only GOD knows what is in a person's mind or heart.
Some devious , dishonest, people can hide their true heart, thoughts, motives, character every well over the course of years and decades, and courtship does not necessarily is going to let you know what that person is all about.
Those who take the institutive in getting a prenup truly want to make the marriage work ( at least for the most part ).
Unfortunately in todays world, someone's word is not enough anymore, and would you enter a muli - BILLION contract with someone or some company just by their word ? without getting legal protection financially or legally ?
In todays world, a Prenup is as prudent and important, as a will.
44 posted on 09/18/2005 5:41:05 AM PDT by Prophet in the wilderness (PSALM 53 : 1 The FOOL hath said in his heart , There is no GOD .)
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To: Arpege92

Yeah,

Being a female around here can be a bit 'fusin' at times. Seems we are bad no matter what we do, say or believe. I just sit back, eat popcorn and occaisionally throw rocks at the gorillas :)


45 posted on 09/18/2005 5:44:22 AM PDT by najida (So, I said to myself -Self, I really think shrimp heads in the flower pots as compost is a bit much!)
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To: Caipirabob
I do mourn the moral and cultural breakdown that has reduced "Holy Matrimony" to a business transaction.

Holy Matrimony? Sounds more like mergers and acquisitions to me.

46 posted on 09/18/2005 5:45:11 AM PDT by Uncle Vlad
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To: DB
I don't think covering your ass is preparing for failure. Being practical has is advantages.

I'm 35, my house is paid for and my son is the beneficiary of my will. That however does not protect that asset from a nasty divorce, should being married not kill me first.

Sure I plan on being careful that my future mate is sincere, and that the relationship is mutual, but assets of a half million are tempting to certain types of people.

47 posted on 09/18/2005 5:50:36 AM PDT by CBF ('' .... behind every blade of grass.'')
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To: NutCrackerBoy

Your opinion to which I mostly agree with fails to point out that the women back in the 40's and 50's did not have the rights and opportunities like we have today.


48 posted on 09/18/2005 5:51:39 AM PDT by Arpege92 ("I am happy, be it yourselves." - Pope John Paul II)
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To: Arpege92



You said it.






49 posted on 09/18/2005 5:53:39 AM PDT by SouthernFreebird
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To: Caipirabob

I wouldn't marry anyone i had to have a pre-nup with. Another thing, I think that the church needs to take back the marriage issue. Let the unbelievers marry who-ever and where-ever. The church should be conducting weddings, as it has historically done, and with historical standards that do not include the things that the unbelievers are willing to call a marriage, ie. pre-nups, possibility for divorce, homosexual relationships, multiple partner relationships, etc.

After a while the "church wedding" will once again become the true wedding, while the "civil" ceremony will be looked at as just what it really is for most... The least path of resistance.


50 posted on 09/18/2005 5:57:50 AM PDT by TrailofTears (."We mock loyalty and are shocked at finding traitors in our midst." CS Lewis)
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To: CBF

I guess I'm blessed. That was never a consideration.

Okay... I know I'm blessed.


51 posted on 09/18/2005 5:58:43 AM PDT by DB ()
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To: Prophet in the wilderness

You guys always seem to make light of those little affairs.

They are devastating to a marriage, it may just be sex on the side to you but to the woman it is the end of the relationship and trust. It may take a few years for it to dissolve the marriage but eventually it will and the woman will find she doesn't love the man anymore.

You only see the 'doesn't love him anymore' and not the actions of the man that brought her to that place.

You should look to the possible immorality of the men in their relationships and not try to simplify the failure of the marriage by always blaming the woman.

I see you defend your father for his affair yet condemn your mother for not being able to manage finances. You got some issues in there dude.


52 posted on 09/18/2005 6:07:19 AM PDT by SouthernFreebird
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To: Prophet in the wilderness
Really?

I wouldn't sign one or expect my future wife to sign one.

And yes I'd be offended. And I'm the bread winner. And she is the mother of and to my children.

And yes I don't have "alterer motives".

I just think it is wrong.

I uttered the words as a solemn oath before God "Until death do we part" and I meant it. Foolish me...
53 posted on 09/18/2005 6:08:14 AM PDT by DB ()
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To: Prophet in the wilderness

"Women are not angels either."

Never said we are. We are human just as the men are human and we make mistakes just as men make mistakes.

"fooling around behind their husbands backs while the men are at work trying to feed the family."

Huh? Are you trying to tell me that all women from the 40's and 50's cheated on their husbands while he is at work? Talk about reaching. Granted their were women who cheated but you can't condemn all women for the actions of a few. Also, when men cheated on their wives in the 40's and 50's, they weren't held responsible for the family they left behind because they had all the options and most of the power. Today, most of those same options and power belong to the women.

"So, don't try to make women out to be the angels that you are trying to do here."

Oh please! Quit putting words in my mouth just to suit your opinion. I NEVER said all women are angels!

"And what is the excuse for women today fooling around on their husbands backs?"

I don't know....why don't you ask a man who is cheating on his wife what his excuse is? It works both ways in case you have forgotten.

"Or women taking men for a ride and taking every dime he's got even though he didn't deserve it be treated that way."

This works both ways my friend. Men have been known to take a woman for a ride.

You seem hostile towards women because you are choosing to hold all of us accountable for the actions of a few. We aren't all evil.


54 posted on 09/18/2005 6:08:50 AM PDT by Arpege92 ("I am happy, be it yourselves." - Pope John Paul II)
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To: NoControllingLegalAuthority

I have to say that i totally agree that this type thing is why men my age, widowed with four sons to raise, a house in a good neighborhood are very cautious.

I hardly find a single woman my age who is where she is through circumstances out of her control. Very few widows, most divorcees and women who never married, mostly because they followed careers.

I find that even discussing marriage with some of these women is totally wack. They just don't have a perception of what it takes to keep house and home together, and are constantly "carving out areas" that they will not function in. They mostly can't cook, sew, or even take care of a house. That is why guys in my circumstances look either elsewhere (other countries) or to younger women who haven't been tainted by the liberal mindset and anti-male anger of the women of the 60's, 70's, and 80's.

Their anger is misguided and misplaced. Their anger now resolves itself through expression against the men they meet, like myself who have done nothing to them other than to be a gentleman etc. They are really angry for no reason, they made choices that messed them up and now want to lay that on the backs of men that they meet. This problem sure makes women from the other, more traditional countries, a lot more optional as marriage material.

Im just one single man with these experiences, but i have talked to many other men in the similar circumstances who totally agree, because of personal experience.


55 posted on 09/18/2005 6:09:29 AM PDT by TrailofTears (."We mock loyalty and are shocked at finding traitors in our midst." CS Lewis)
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To: najida

"Being a female around here can be a bit 'fusin' at times."

Tell me about it. I can almost hear the theme from the twilight zone.


56 posted on 09/18/2005 6:14:16 AM PDT by Arpege92 ("I am happy, be it yourselves." - Pope John Paul II)
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To: Arpege92
Some of you Freeper men really confuse the hell out of me. First women are blood suckers and should be forced to sign a prenup if the man is wealthy. Then women are bitches if they dare to educate themselves, move up the corporate ladder but have a difficult time finding a male companion.

Brilliant. There is a lot of hatred toward women on this site. From time to time I've tried to gently tell men that not all women are monsters, and we conservative women do love them. But there are some Freeper men who are so consumed with hatred that they won't even entertain the possibility that women can be good. It's like talking to Muslims who believe women are the root of all evil.

There have been threads on here before about how all women who get good jobs and become successful are bitches. But if we don't get jobs, if we are homemakers for twenty years and then can't support ourselves and our kids after Mr. Wonderful runs off with the young hottie, any demand for alimony and child support also makes us bitches. Can't win.

57 posted on 09/18/2005 6:16:08 AM PDT by Capriole (I don't have any problems that can't be solved by more chocolate or more ammunition.)
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To: Capriole

Well said.


58 posted on 09/18/2005 6:19:44 AM PDT by Arpege92 ("I am happy, be it yourselves." - Pope John Paul II)
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To: Capriole

Excellent post!

You can't win for losing around here. It goes beyond a double standard to something almost primal...this "I gotta have ya but I hate ya because I gotta have ya because YOU MAKE me feel this way!" Talk about abdicating personal responsibility on it's most basic level.

But I will say this, it's a learning experience. And I can see how certain things in other cultures came into being when the hatred got to be law or even religion. Scary, but again, I just eat popcorn and watch.


59 posted on 09/18/2005 6:21:36 AM PDT by najida (So, I said to myself -Self, I really think shrimp heads in the flower pots as compost is a bit much!)
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To: R. Scott
17 yrs old, and on her THIRD husband????

On the morning after she woke me up, pointed at the certificate on the wall and said, “Now you can’t leave me.” The marriage lasted 6 months.

You're lucky she didn't turn up pregnant. Btw, did your bowels turn to water after she said that?

I took my now ex to meet my parents. He figured they had money(I know this now), and asked me to marry him after 3 weeks of dating. I decided that there was something wrong, but turned up preggers 6 months later. He then asked, "now will you marry me"? Of course my mother would not stomach the idea of an "illegitimate grandchild", so at 18, I kind of got railroaded into the marriage.

That was 27 yrs ago, and at the moment, we are engaged in a custody battle for the 11 yr old. His last response has opened him up to a psychiatric evaluation.

60 posted on 09/18/2005 6:22:51 AM PDT by TheSpottedOwl ("President Bush, start building that wall"!)
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