Skip to comments.More women are asking for prenups
Posted on 09/18/2005 3:05:48 AM PDT by Caipirabob
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It almost seems like this guy is saying such things just to get a rise out of everyone....or maybe he just is a total boob.
Sorry, I had to do that, Najida.... you've bought into this A$$-clown's idea of his worth.
Those strong virgins are saving themselves because character and purity are important. They are not holding out for such a ~weak~ man.
I think baggage is fun.
I mean, you forget that old Samsonite down in the basement but one day you trip over it...so you open it up and WOW!
All these cool things you had forgotten about are there. Mebby they were bad when you packed them, but now they're just fun to pull out, laugh at and play with.
Sorta like Christmas in July.
That hurt! ;)
But I deserved it...
See my next post about just how inferior a woman has to be to be worthy of such snakebelly (and I was being really snarky, is there a snark emoticon?)
Oh I wish it was like Christmas in July. No, this is the baggage that keeps on biting you in the ass.
OTOH, I did find a suitcase with all my pretty outfits when I was in pep squad. It was buried out in my folks garage. Some baggage is very cool : )
Those factors don't enter into any relationship as soon as children are born? Your simple and unencumbered young couple will soon also find that they are together because they both love and need each other. ..............HairOfTheDog
Exactly. The "young unencumbered couple" came together because they "LOVED EACH OTHER". "Each other" and "love" is what brought them together.........
.........Not the desire to have the financial ability to quit a job to stay home with an already existing child....Not a desire for the future financial security for an already existing child....Not a desire for help raising an already existing child.........
They came together because of "EACH OTHER".
Congratulations to the woman from your office. You never know, could be her husband is happy too.
Congratulations for declaring outright that she was bound and determined to marry a man ( who she had not even met yet!) within one year before she turned 30 and get pregnant a few months after that?
Congratulations for forcing the issue to fit her arbitrary timetable with a man she had just met over the Internet, who lived 100 miles away and who could only see her two days on weekends for a few months before she pressured him into giving her an engagement ring?
Congratulations for getting her stay-at-home Mom role within the totally arbitrary and rushed deadlines she set for herself and then not even bothering to mention her husband in phone conversation with her former co-workers?
Imagine how that courtship went:
Charlie: " I think I love you, Jane. But we have known each other only four months and it's too soon to get engaged. I think we should know each other better before we make a lifelong commitment."
Jane: "Sorry, Charlie. I have a one year self-imposed deadline to meet and that won't cut it. You just made me waste 4 months out of that year and now I only have 8 months left. You're outta here! Excuse, me, I have to call someone. Hello, Joe, this is Jane the one you asked out 3 months ago....Yeah, well guess what? My boyfriend and I just split up and I would love to go out with you to that place you told me about. Excuse me, for a moment.......So, Charlie? Why are you still here? I'm talking to my hopefully future husband here. Hit the road! "
That sure sounds like a "young couple that are together because they both love and need each other".
Oh, yeah. That sure sounds like True Love.
RE your coworker: Imagine how that courtship went:
I imagine it was quite different than you assume.... Unless you think the man who fell in love with her was just a stupid victim, like you have assumed all men who suffer women. Don't make so many assumptions about the hearts of others. So she talked about the baby to former coworkers.... would you rather she talked about the great sex that made it happen?
I met my husband 'over the internet', right her on FReeRepublic as a sheer coincidence.
He lived 1400 miles away, and we only got to date in person a week before he decided to go home and pack. Of course, we knew each other quite well before we ever met. I assume this coworker of yours knows all about that. But you don't. ;~D
That depends on why the couple got married in the first place.
How did that old fashioned rhyme go?
"First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in the baby carriage."
.......it's all just about entrapment from there on out.
Sometimes it is, especially if the child was there before the marriage.
Only "it's all just about this" or "it's always that" statements are preposterous.
The advice "Look very carefully before you jump" is not preposterous. It is common sense.
You would not discuss such a serious subject over dinner. I would not even breach the subject until the man had asked me to marry him and I wanted to marry him.
We agree. Look carefully to find out if the man who is calling drags his knuckles on the ground when he is comin' up the driveway. ;~D
The same for women. This is not a feminist point of view, it is a realistic one. Many women have money or better jobs than the men when they marry. There are men who seek provisions for their lifestyles from their wives.
Amen. Gender is not restrictive in this matter.
BOTH need to be careful before they jump.
Especially the one who has a child...
How many DBBF's kids(Death By Boyfriend) do we read about here in a week? And it could just as easily read DBGF too.
IMO, what is best for the child comes first. Period.
I'll bring the popcorn...
Wrong again. I want to hear the truth, you want to hear the sound of your own voice. Big difference. Let's do one another a favor and ignore eachother before this gets out of hand.
What are you talking about ?
That statement is a Strawman Argument of your own creation.
My original statement was that a young single man should consider at least five times why a woman without a child might not be a better choice for him than a single Mom who might be more interested in financial security considerations than in true love.
I imagine it was quite different than you assume.... Unless you think the man who fell in love with her was just a stupid victim, like you have assumed all men who suffer women.
There you go again. Another Strawmwn Argument.
If I advise caution under very specific circumstances, you claim that I think that all men who interact with women must be "stupid victims".
Any man that knowingly gets involved with a woman that has flat out said that she will be married within a year to a man that she has not even met yet is a "stupid victim".
I'm quite certain that that particular guy did not know that information as I doubt she ever discussed her self-imposed deadlines with him and she never brought him around work to meet the people who she bragged about her deadline too.
The guy was not "stupid". He was uninformed and, if he had been more cautious, he should have said, "What's the rush? Let's slow down and get to know each other better before we get married."
Don't make so many assumptions about the hearts of others. So she talked about the baby to former coworkers....
It is a fact that she bragged that she would have that baby within a one year and a few months time period........now pay attention to this crucial point.......with a man she had not even met yet.
would you rather she talked about the great sex that made it happen?
Another Strawman Argument.
I would have rather if she had said how she was ready to settle down and start a family with a man that she truly loved. I would rather if she had said that she realized that finding such a man can take time but that she would give it as much time as was needed in order to be certain that it was True Love.
Instead, she focused on a self-imposed time deadline of marrying a man she had not even met yet within one year before she turned 30........And when she bragged about that, she had just turned 29!
I met my husband 'over the internet', right her on FReeRepublic as a sheer coincidence. He lived 1400 miles away, and we only got to date in person a week before he decided to go home and pack. Of course, we knew each other quite well before we ever met.
That is the point:
You knew each other well.
No arbitrary time deadlines were imposed by either one of you.
By the time you were married, it was true love.
The Internet part of it is a minor detail. Everybody has to meet somewhere.
There is a difference between meeting sombedody on the Internet and letting love develop as opposed to using the Internet as the most time-efficient way to meet people aand then rushing the relationship solely for the purpose of meeting a self-imposed one year dealine for meeting a total stranger and then marrying him in order to have children as soon as biologically possible after that.
I think guys should keep their nups as long as they can. Once they're gone, they'll be doing the shopping, changing diapers, doing the laundry, dusting the fine china, cleaning the tub, and other assorted jobs.
Guys - HOLD ON TO YOUR NUPS - AND HOLD ON TIGHT!
Yikes! Thank God you found out before...
Puttin' all your made up BS out here...that's what I mean...
"So basically, you are saying that those women who cheat are justified, but, men who cheat are no good rats and dogs?"
Nope....that's just you pretending I said such a thing. Not once did I say that women who cheat are justified and men are dogs if they cheat.
I'm quite, quite sure that nobody here is defending feminism or aggressive career women. We don't like female pit bulls any better than you do. The trouble is, Vision, that these days a young woman can't sit at home doing needlepoint until some suitable young man of good family comes a-courting. She has no choice but to get out into the world and support herself. And if she is intelligent, talented, and competent, chances are good that she will be offered one promotion after another through the years. If she doesn't find someone in college, she may find herself unmarried as she gets into her thirties. It seems that somehow a woman who had to support herself is automatically considered a bitch by some male Freepers, and we women are not clear on how it is that a woman who has the self-respect to support herself and do well at it is therefore a bitch. Because, honestly, we are criticized if we stay home and have children, too.
One never knows. People and circumstances change. If one partner has a lot more money than the other, a prenup is simply good planning, along with any other kind of planning.
That's one of the advantages of marrying young and poor. :)
No idea how many marriages. The last I heard she had moved to New Orleans on Bourbon Street. That was back in about 1974.
I don't agree with your conclusions of law. What becomes community property in community property state, is what is generated from your personal services after you are married. I don't know if that can be reversed by a prenuptial agreement.
Well, always best to actually ask a lawyer, but my understanding is that the more you mix it into the marriage, the more community it becomes :~D
Amen to that Junior.
Yes indeedy. When my daughters were in their "stuck up" years I delighted in telling their friends, particularly their boy friends, how we lived in a slightly more upscale tent than the original for 6 months while raising some money to get better accomodations.
Supposedly I was "runing their life". LOL
Bourbon Street? Good grief.
Back off puppy, I'm one of those independant b!tches that America is full of. I don't much care for a man to tell me when I can open my mouth and speak.
I agree- if I got married again and had anything (or if he did) I wouldn't fight signing a prenup. I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced but it was not just up to me. Sadly, the other person in the equation did not have the same feelings so I am divorced.
That was a long time ago - but she (and I back then) did like fun.
Why buy a cow when milk's free.
Anyway, this is long since past being a soceity where it's wise to get married.
As marriage is not something that happens between two people.
Marriage is something that happens between two people and society.
And modern society is a lousy partner for one's marriage.
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