Skip to comments.More women are asking for prenups
Posted on 09/18/2005 3:05:48 AM PDT by Caipirabob
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I guess I'm blessed. That was never a consideration.
Okay... I know I'm blessed.
You guys always seem to make light of those little affairs.
They are devastating to a marriage, it may just be sex on the side to you but to the woman it is the end of the relationship and trust. It may take a few years for it to dissolve the marriage but eventually it will and the woman will find she doesn't love the man anymore.
You only see the 'doesn't love him anymore' and not the actions of the man that brought her to that place.
You should look to the possible immorality of the men in their relationships and not try to simplify the failure of the marriage by always blaming the woman.
I see you defend your father for his affair yet condemn your mother for not being able to manage finances. You got some issues in there dude.
"Women are not angels either."
Never said we are. We are human just as the men are human and we make mistakes just as men make mistakes.
"fooling around behind their husbands backs while the men are at work trying to feed the family."
Huh? Are you trying to tell me that all women from the 40's and 50's cheated on their husbands while he is at work? Talk about reaching. Granted their were women who cheated but you can't condemn all women for the actions of a few. Also, when men cheated on their wives in the 40's and 50's, they weren't held responsible for the family they left behind because they had all the options and most of the power. Today, most of those same options and power belong to the women.
"So, don't try to make women out to be the angels that you are trying to do here."
Oh please! Quit putting words in my mouth just to suit your opinion. I NEVER said all women are angels!
"And what is the excuse for women today fooling around on their husbands backs?"
I don't know....why don't you ask a man who is cheating on his wife what his excuse is? It works both ways in case you have forgotten.
"Or women taking men for a ride and taking every dime he's got even though he didn't deserve it be treated that way."
This works both ways my friend. Men have been known to take a woman for a ride.
You seem hostile towards women because you are choosing to hold all of us accountable for the actions of a few. We aren't all evil.
I have to say that i totally agree that this type thing is why men my age, widowed with four sons to raise, a house in a good neighborhood are very cautious.
I hardly find a single woman my age who is where she is through circumstances out of her control. Very few widows, most divorcees and women who never married, mostly because they followed careers.
I find that even discussing marriage with some of these women is totally wack. They just don't have a perception of what it takes to keep house and home together, and are constantly "carving out areas" that they will not function in. They mostly can't cook, sew, or even take care of a house. That is why guys in my circumstances look either elsewhere (other countries) or to younger women who haven't been tainted by the liberal mindset and anti-male anger of the women of the 60's, 70's, and 80's.
Their anger is misguided and misplaced. Their anger now resolves itself through expression against the men they meet, like myself who have done nothing to them other than to be a gentleman etc. They are really angry for no reason, they made choices that messed them up and now want to lay that on the backs of men that they meet. This problem sure makes women from the other, more traditional countries, a lot more optional as marriage material.
Im just one single man with these experiences, but i have talked to many other men in the similar circumstances who totally agree, because of personal experience.
"Being a female around here can be a bit 'fusin' at times."
Tell me about it. I can almost hear the theme from the twilight zone.
Brilliant. There is a lot of hatred toward women on this site. From time to time I've tried to gently tell men that not all women are monsters, and we conservative women do love them. But there are some Freeper men who are so consumed with hatred that they won't even entertain the possibility that women can be good. It's like talking to Muslims who believe women are the root of all evil.
There have been threads on here before about how all women who get good jobs and become successful are bitches. But if we don't get jobs, if we are homemakers for twenty years and then can't support ourselves and our kids after Mr. Wonderful runs off with the young hottie, any demand for alimony and child support also makes us bitches. Can't win.
You can't win for losing around here. It goes beyond a double standard to something almost primal...this "I gotta have ya but I hate ya because I gotta have ya because YOU MAKE me feel this way!" Talk about abdicating personal responsibility on it's most basic level.
But I will say this, it's a learning experience. And I can see how certain things in other cultures came into being when the hatred got to be law or even religion. Scary, but again, I just eat popcorn and watch.
On the morning after she woke me up, pointed at the certificate on the wall and said, Now you cant leave me. The marriage lasted 6 months.
You're lucky she didn't turn up pregnant. Btw, did your bowels turn to water after she said that?
I took my now ex to meet my parents. He figured they had money(I know this now), and asked me to marry him after 3 weeks of dating. I decided that there was something wrong, but turned up preggers 6 months later. He then asked, "now will you marry me"? Of course my mother would not stomach the idea of an "illegitimate grandchild", so at 18, I kind of got railroaded into the marriage.
That was 27 yrs ago, and at the moment, we are engaged in a custody battle for the 11 yr old. His last response has opened him up to a psychiatric evaluation.
"This problem sure makes women from the other, more traditional countries, alot more optional as marriage material."
What countries might those be?
Not all men on this site.
Oh, I agree. If my bf and I should decide to eventually marry, we are going to have to have a pre-nup, as he stands to inherit from his father. He has health problems, and is disabled. That money should go to his kids. It has to be done in such a way that his speed freak of an ex wife cannot get her hands on it. His sister is working on that angle : ) Not to mention my greedy brats looking for an extra dime : (
It's never too late to say "Thanks but I think this not what I want."You should have run out of the courthouse like the place was on fire!Three marriages at age 17,in what state did this sad story happen?
Now that the skank has financial interests to protect she wants the pre-nup.
When pre-nups first came the skank-a-lanks, would get very mad at even the suggestion of pre-nups.
How the times have changed.
IMO you're an idiot if you marry later in life, after you've accumulated assests, without a pre-nup.
Skank-a-lank will clean you out,after she's had enough, if you don't think so you're a p*ssy whipped fool!
Thanks caipirabob for the use of the word skank-a-lank.
The ones with the mail order brides willing to put up with a controlling bully for a time in order to get to America. That the men fail to see the selfish immorality of a woman willing to sell herself for a time to get where she wants to be is laughable.
The qualities they think they are avoiding in American women are what they are actually buying from the imports.
So no you know how FreeRepublic feels to a conservative woman.
Equal and opposite wrong.
Great attitude to have at times around here. Quite a few condemn us know matter what and in the long run, that's their problem and not mine.
The absolutely creepiest wedding pictures I've ever seen were of a MOB and her new 'hubby' (a well known internet woman hater delux).
The whole reason these women WANT to come here ain't for the men. And they WILL get Westernized, unless they are under some type of home lock-down (gee, don't that sound familiar?)
Geez! I think I'll go see what's on the boob tube and take a nap.
What I meant to say....
Great attitude to have at times around here! Quite a few condemn us no matter what and in the long run, that's their problem and not mine.
Mine was a C+ tops, it had a typo in it...
Your comment about throwin' rocks at the gorillas, now that was ~good~ ;~D
There is nothing wrong with people taking precautions to protect what they have, even if they hope they never have use it.
I have gun for self-protection that I hope I never have to use also. By owning that gun, am I just hoping for a break-in?
My exact thoughts as well. I saw a program once about mail order Russian brides and it was pretty damn sad watching these men willingly allow themselves to buy love.
Foreign mail order brides don't want what American ~men~ have, they want what American ~women~ have.
They're here for the shoes!
It took 13 posts before this rational statement was made. Also people are in denial about real faults that the other person has. "He tells me he won't drink as much after we get married." "I know she cheated on me while we were dating but she wouldn't do that if she had a ring on her finger." And on and on...
At any rate, prenups are mostly hot-air. Any entry-level attorney can get one nullified in court.
Glad to hear it. You reasonable types tend to be quiet about your views, though.
so it seems the article is saying that a prenup is for protecting the children of a first marriage.
hmmm, did the author think to consider that this is more a SECOND marriage issue?
The author tried to imply this was a first marriage no children issue.
I have seen this more in OLDER marriages not marriages without pre existing adult children.
Seems to be a slow newsday for this writer...
look at the source its the Sun "homosexual" sentinal.
They paper also advocates homosexual sex.
Actually, my wife attended a wedding where a friend of hers (major atheist) and her guy (major dick...and atheist) were getting married by a justice-of-the-peace and their vows included "until our love ends."
Talk about leaving yourself an easy out.
hit enter too fast:
homosexual sex via GLSEN
they also oppose FMA
Office Depot sells cohabitation and prenup form package for $24.95.
If they are going to live together "for the whim" then it is cheeper to just do the form.
actually the key to a prenup is realizing that they are strongest the first 6 years of marriage and best for protecting SPECIFIC items. Collection of X or vehicle or even a house.
A 25 year old prenup is not going to be as strong as a prenup that is only 1 year old.
Only if the property protected by the pre-nup becomes mingled in the marriage. You can't use a prenup to retain full ownership of the house you both live in, for example. It becomes community property.
You can only use a prenup to protect separate holdings that are never used in the marriage.
Only if your community property state has a specific law.
This is NOT true otherwise.
Prenups CAN and DO get drafted which envision living in the same house.
They even have provisions which say that if the house is sold, the PROCEEDS are still subject to the prenup.
living in the house is not really relevant if properly drafted.
I suppose.... Really, if the power of prenups fade and get mixed in with joint property with time, that's the way it should be, as over time, the wealth in the marriage ~should~ be expected to be jointly earned.
I always advocate a "termination date" in prenups.
IOW they sunset after say 20 years.
HOWEVER that assumes no children of a previous marriage.
EVen OVER TIME prenups specifically drafted to protect previous marriage children DO have significanly more life.
It just takes putting as much as possible in writing. Even to the point of puting INTENT in the document. The is important if you state has automatic "widows/widowers share" in intestacy laws.
Oh, I will have a nice day, sunshine :~D
Yer supposed to duck when you see a rock comin' at ya. ;)
'sides darlin, I think you just made our point better than we ever could've.
I agree....take an example of a young man, recently graduated with an engineering degree, his earning potential over the years is major attraction to the ladies...
So years later a marriage breaks up, and the court rules that property, be split 50, 50....my point is that there is no consideration of the effort that the man put into his education, ...he entered the marriage, with a valuable asset, his education.....now his departed spouse, capitalizes on his education, and moves on.
I think this is a bad analogy. I don't think you can readily compare the moral issue of self defense with getting a prenup agreement. By getting a preunp a person is admitting to themselves that divorce is a possibility. If a person is unsure if the marriage is going to last, why get married?
A 23 year old single mother is not somebody that a young man should consider as a first, second, third or fourth choice as marriage material.
There is a long list of reasons why she would want a marriage and "I love this man" is probably at the bottom half of the list.