Skip to comments.Brer W out foxes Brer Democrat and Brer Media
Posted on 09/19/2005 5:06:59 AM PDT by jmaroneps37
Brer W out foxes Brer Democrat and Brer Media (with apologies to Joel Chandler Harris)
One day Brer Democrat, Brer Media and their evil little brother Brer Moveon.org sat under a cherry blossom tree plotting to destroy Brer W. They hated him so much that they would do anything to bring him down. We shall take control of the forest so that brother can marry brother and sister can marry sister. We shall take control of the forest and raise taxes on all the working brethren so we can spread the misery of being poor equally to everyone in the forest. After all, we live in two forests dont we? asked Brer Democrat.
We shall take control of the forest by breaking and humiliating Brer W. We shall poison all the brethren against him and his troop. Said Brer Media. In one voice they all shouted, Brer W is a dumb frat boy. We will easily outsmart him.
We shall inflate every false accusation into a scandal. We shall ensnare Brer W in a web of lies and bring him down. Then we shall nail his tail to the highest tree in the forest. Said Brer Media.
But no matter what snare or trap they set for Brer W, nothing stopped him. Everything they tried came back and slapped them down. After each attempt Brer Ws troop only grew larger and their hatred grew deeper.
By and by a terrible storm came to the forest and Brer Democrat, Brer Media and their evil little brother Brer Moveon.org licked their lips in delight. This is our chance to bring him down. they shouted. Then they told lie after lie about how Brer W did not care about the brethren in the poorest part of the forest, the hardest hit by the storm. Ill make the brethren believe our lies this time! bragged Brer Media.
By and by, after days of lies and half- truths, some of the brethren began to believe some of the lies and they turned on Brer W. Even the weak minded members of Brer Ws own troop began to bleat and cry, Yes we agree, Brer W did not do enough to save those in the hardest hit part of the forest!
Finally Brer W was forced to fire a top member of his troop and admit, some mistakes were made by my administration. Brer Democrat, BrerMedia and their evil little brother Moveon.org could hardly contain themselves. Weve got him now! At last we will be rid of that dumb frat boy Brer W. You see they had called Brer W a dumb frat boy for so long that alas they had come to believe their own lie.
Things looked bleak for Brer W. He was forced to sit for an inquisition. They pressed and pressed and they got him to say that he had to share some of the blame for the problems in saving the brethren in the hardest hit part of the forest.
At that, Brer Democrat, Brer Media and their evil little brother Brer Moveon.org danced on the paths of the forest. They were so overjoyed that none of them noticed that Brer W had not actually admitted to anything.
You see, Brer W never did say exactly what blame he was accepting. Blinded by hatred and jealousy, his enemies shrugged that off. All they cared about is that Brer W had admitted something like a mistake, so they had beaten him. Well fill in what hes guilty of when we get our investigation. They all thought.
Brer Media pelted Brer W with questions hoping to embarrass him into resigning. An ugly troll-like creature that Brer Media only let out on special occasions spoke first. Will you resign now that you have proved to the world that you are a war mongering homophobe? Brer Media the troll cackled.
What does that have to do with ..?
Brer W could not finish his answer before Brer Media demanded: Shut up and answer the question!
Isnt it true that you are secretly on the board of directors of Money Bags Oil and Gas? screeched Brer Media.
Not knowing how to answer such an insipid question, Brer W said nothing. Ill take your silence as a Yes. Did you get that on tape everybody? Brer Media said over his shoulder.
Now will you call for an investigation of your criminal handling of the storm relief effort? Brer Media yelled; the veins in his neck beginning to pop.
Brer W. tried to answer, Well we can have an in-house debriefing; see what went wrong, but also what went right then . Again he was not allowed to answer.
Dont give us that crap about an in-house debriefing! the mob shouted.
Then all of Brer Medias troop stood up and chanted.
When is the investigation starting?
When is the investigation starting?
When is the investigation starting?
They were joined by the weakest members of Brer Ws own troop, lead by a brethren from the desert part of the forest.They all kept chanting. No one could hear anything above the din.
Brer W tried to reason with the mob. Pleases brethren, can we do a simple review of our procedures? Ill give you an outright apology. Ill fire someone else, but please dont force me to conduct an investigation, it will be like being thrown into a briar patch.
You make me sick! Brer Moveon.org sneered. Foam was dripping from his mouth.
Yeah weve got you right where we want you. Youd better believe well be throwing you in the briar patch! Brer Democrat said through evil curling lips.
Brer W sat silently, his eyes down cast.
He spoke in a calm yet halting voice. He pleaded with Brer Medias mob. Please dont throw me into the investigation briar patch. Do what you will to me, anything, anything, but please dont throw me in the investigation briar patch. Please, anything but the investigation briar patch. It will be bad for so many of the brethren. Brer Media just laughed.
Bad for many brethren, indeed! Brer Democrat hissed.
Brer W. cowered and looked frightened as Brer Democrat announced their decision.
Brer W we dont want anymore of your mealy mouthed apologies. We want your tail nailed to the highest tree in the forest. We will give you the one thing you have begged us not to do, the thing you are most afraid of. We will conduct an investigation.
Then Brer Moveon.org yelled. Well see who it is bad for.
The investigation went on for months and months because Brer Democrat kept pushing the chief counsel to go deeper and deeper in a futile effort to find ways to blame Brer W. Nothing worked. The more Brer Democrat dug, the more he proved it was his own troop that was at fault for the awful handling of efforts to aid the storm stricken brethren. There was no connection to be made because none existed from the start.
Not even all of Brer Medias mob working overtime could wash the stink off of Brer Democrats troop. The more he talked, the sillier he looked. No one bought his version of the story.
Seeing how he was floundering, the loyal members of Brer Ws troop gave Brer Democrat a helping hand; all the rope he needed. They helped the hapless Brer Democrat dig his hole and drag the investigation out for months. By the time the three evil plotters finally understood what was happening to them it was too late. The loyal members of Brer Ws troop had given Brer Democrat the investigation he demaned, but not the results he longed for.
Brer Ws troop waited until the following October to release the findings of the investigation. When they did, it was just days before the next election. Their report was filled with stories of how incompetent and corrupt Brer Democrats troop was. When the brethren saw what frauds Brer Democrats troop was, they were angry. Their eyes opened to the truth, they vowed never to vote for Brer Democrats troop again.
Election night was a disaster for Brer Democrat and his troops. Throughout the forest he suffered losses no one could have imagined. Because of the investigation he himself had demanded, no one wanted to vote for him .
As things went from bad to worse on Election Night, Brer Democrat and his evil brothers realized Brer W was no dumb frat boy after all. At the end of the day, it was their tails that were nailed to the highest tree in the forest.
Smoking a big cigar, Brer W smiled and said. I pleaded with them not to throw me in the investigation briar patch. I told them it would be bad for many of the brethren. They didnt listen.
By and by there were two loud sounds heard in the forest that night: the laughter from Brer Ws tent and the moaning and wailing of Brer Democrat, Brer Media and their evil little brother Brer Moveon.org. Once again they had been out foxed by Brer W. He was no dumb frat boy after all.
Well, let's hope.
Bump for later! - Har!
Darn good Brer yarn. One to tell the kiddies tonight.
Don't throw me in that brair patch!
True! Because the "dumb frat boys" are doing what they always do - OVERPLAYING THEIR HAND!
Not that it was an original idea with me, I'm sure, nor did I wax as creative as jmaroneps37, but my post was earlier. I even used the same Disney picture you did, SquirrelKing.
To: BenLurkin; CoopThe Federal government has too much power already.
I think igniting that argument is precisely what President Bush has in mind. It's in a similar vein to DeLay declaring today that there's no more pork to cut in the Federal Budget. He's suckered folks into stepping up and actually making some proposals of where to get the 'offsets' for the Katrina spending that they're demanding.
Put up or shut up time.
And by couching the question this way President Bush forces the dims, particularly in Louisiana, to say "you can't take MY power," which puts a big target on their foreheads as the ones who were ultimately responsible for the problems.
President Brer Rabbit. Got throw'd into the briar patch again.
I guess great minds think alike.
This was wonderful
Bump for your intellectual property.
Disney won't release 'Song of the South' on DVD because of fears the movie will be seen as racist.
I know. On ebay, the "banned version" of the video is sold from the UK, and goes for big bucks. I know because I just was looking last night! I wanted to share it with my daughter, because I loved the story so much as a kid.
Google 'Song of the South'. A friend recently purchased one from info she found on the net.
I liked that story. Tell us another one some day.
I did. It was the sanitized, PC version. I could only find the original from sellers in UK. Not only on ebay either.
JM.... excellent bit of writing....