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Parentally Incorrect: Drunk People Like My Daughter; Is That Wrong?
Voice of San Diego ^ | September 24, 2005 | Dave Moye

Posted on 09/24/2005 5:44:27 PM PDT by Rodney King

My daughter is barely 2-and-a-half years old. That's hardly enough time to make assumptions about her life or personality but I can already tell one thing about her: Drunks and boozehounds really like her a lot.

I don't know how soon after she was born that her appeal to alcoholics first appeared. Actually, I didn't notice at first because most of the people drinking alcohol around her during her first few months were family and friends, so their interest in my child didn't seem booze-influenced.

We were living in University Heights at the time and I used to walk her down Park Boulevard, past bars and restaurants, and I noticed that many of the folks who used to make baby faces or funny noises at my daughter were at the restaurants that served wine or beer.

Funny thing is, the sober people basically ignored my child.

As much as any parent wants their child to be "special" (but not too special), I'm not sure I understand why my daughter is so charismatic to tipsy people. But I first began to understand her power over boozehounds last year on Maui, at a wine and food festival. We couldn't get a babysitter so we brought Alex to the wine and food fest figuring she would sleep through most of it. The Hawaiian gods were on our side because our "pooh bear" stayed asleep while my wife and I went to Khalua Pig heaven, taking turns drinking samples of vino with gourmet vittles.

My wife and I did get slightly buzzed but not as much those adults who didn't bring their children to an adult event. When Alex was waking up (and I was close to falling asleep), a fellow attendee started looking at her and saying how beautiful she was.

Then she started doing a hula version of "Somewhere over the Rainbow," complete with hand gestures, and my then 1-year-old couldn't blink.

Then the happy hula dancer got a revelation. "Your daughter is so spiritual. She didn't blink once while I was singing."

That isn't the only experience. I live in a La Mesa condo complex and spent many afternoons with my daughter swimming in the pool. Many of our neighbors were also there, often with a box of Franzia wine.

The panic-prone might view the combination of drunken neighbors, a 2-year-old and me as potentially dangerous but I found advantages to have tipsy neighbors.

For instance, the wine-soaked neighbors were very generous about lending their pool toys and one woozy woman -- the "Earth Mother" -- was willing to watch my daughter do the same pool trick over and over and over again and be suitably impressed each time.

I expect my daughter's popularity will rise to new heights this fall. She has a whole new batch of skills that are sure to worm their way into any drinker's heart.

Because the Padres are going to be in the playoffs, chances are, I'll take my family to a viewing party. Well, my daughter can say, "Go Padres!" Trust me, drunks love it. She also says, "Go Chargers!" and I'm working on, "Go L.T."

I am also planning for Christmas parties by teaching her to sing, "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer'" and recite the Nativity speech spoken by Linus in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special.

Granted, not every one of her bits is perfect for every drunk audience but I think she'll be way ahead of her schoolmates in terms of impressing social drinkers.

The big upside to turning Alex into the drunk's favorite kid has paid off in dividends. We have lots of free time thanks to the number of single and soused people who meet our child at a party and offer to baby-sit.

To some, my beliefs that my daughter should be well-versed in dealing with drunks seems counterintuitive but hear me out. Alcohol plays a big part in a baby's life -- mostly in conception -- and maybe kids should learn at a young age not just to say no to booze but also to recognize signs of inebriation.

As for me, I am avoiding booze mostly so when I am with Alex, she knows how a sober person acts when excited and she'll learn the difference between beer compliments and the real thing.

David Moye is a La Mesa-based writer. He craved a dirty vodka martini while writing this story.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: drunk; notfunny
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When my daughter was 2 she used to go to the little fridge and ask me if I wanted a green one or a brown one. (A Becks or a Bitburger).
1 posted on 09/24/2005 5:44:28 PM PDT by Rodney King
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To: Rodney King

Put down your drink, and step away from the bar.


2 posted on 09/24/2005 5:47:34 PM PDT by i_dont_chat (Houston, TX)
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To: dead; Stingray51; madprof98

bump


3 posted on 09/24/2005 5:47:50 PM PDT by Rodney King (No, we can't all just get along.)
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To: Rodney King

What the heck?


4 posted on 09/24/2005 5:48:17 PM PDT by Dallas59 (“You love life, while we love death.” - Al-Qaeda / Democratic Party)
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To: Rodney King

Well, sounds like she's going to be a big hit when she gets to college. ;)


5 posted on 09/24/2005 5:49:23 PM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("Violence never settles anything." Genghis Khan, 1162-1227)
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To: Rodney King
My wife and I did get slightly buzzed but not as much those adults who didn't bring their children to an adult event.

There's the problem...he keeps taking his daughter to drinking events....
6 posted on 09/24/2005 5:49:54 PM PDT by stylin19a
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To: Rodney King

Does this guy think this is funny?


7 posted on 09/24/2005 5:49:57 PM PDT by nuconvert (No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR) [there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
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To: Rodney King

Okay, this was more than a little odd.


8 posted on 09/24/2005 5:51:04 PM PDT by ShadowDancer (Stupid people make my brain sad.)
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To: Rodney King
"Your daughter is so spiritual. She didn't blink once while I was singing."

ugh

9 posted on 09/24/2005 5:51:44 PM PDT by InvisibleChurch (The search for someone to blame is always successful. - Robert Half)
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To: Rodney King

I really regret reading this, creepy


10 posted on 09/24/2005 5:51:59 PM PDT by Mount Athos
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To: Dallas59
The big upside to turning Alex into the drunk's favorite kid has paid off in dividends. We have lots of free time thanks to the number of single and soused people who meet our child at a party and offer to baby-sit.

My parents used to leave me in the car at while they stopped in for a drink at the bar. Alcohol isn't allowed in my house and they have never been forgiven.

11 posted on 09/24/2005 5:52:18 PM PDT by badpacifist (Flames are very shallow. Personal attacks on a comment are just silly.)
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To: Rodney King

Mmmm... Daddy Juice :)


12 posted on 09/24/2005 5:55:04 PM PDT by Venerable Bede
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To: Rodney King

Wierd.


13 posted on 09/24/2005 5:55:14 PM PDT by DaGman
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To: DaGman
To all:

I agree this is weird and bizare.

14 posted on 09/24/2005 5:56:04 PM PDT by Rodney King (No, we can't all just get along.)
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To: badpacifist
My parents never drank. I didn't understand alcohol until my mid teens.
15 posted on 09/24/2005 5:56:34 PM PDT by Dallas59 (“You love life, while we love death.” - Al-Qaeda / Democratic Party)
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To: Rodney King

Wow am I glad I had such a Leave it to Beaver household growing up! :-)


16 posted on 09/24/2005 5:58:26 PM PDT by ladyinred (It is all my fault okay?)
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To: Rodney King

The child in question.

17 posted on 09/24/2005 6:00:40 PM PDT by martin_fierro (|\/|4R71|\|_P|-|13RR0)
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To: Rodney King

Bizarre indeed. This writer is a real creep.


18 posted on 09/24/2005 6:01:39 PM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: Rodney King

19 posted on 09/24/2005 6:04:19 PM PDT by martin_fierro (|\/|4R71|\|_P|-|13RR0)
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To: Rodney King
We have lots of free time thanks to the number of single and soused people who meet our child at a party and offer to baby-sit.

Yep, I can remember all of the times that I met some drunks at a bar or party and then turned my kids over to them so my wife and I could really tie one on.

/sarcasm

This guy should be reported to authorities.

20 posted on 09/24/2005 6:05:26 PM PDT by Michael.SF. ('That was the gift the president gave us, the gift of happiness, of being together,' Cindy Sheehan")
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To: Rodney King

I am thinking this thread should get pulled.


21 posted on 09/24/2005 6:05:45 PM PDT by since1868
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To: Rodney King

I'm guessing this guy doesn't have any friends...


22 posted on 09/24/2005 6:09:57 PM PDT by WestVirginiaRebel (The Democratic Party-Jackass symbol, jackass leaders, jackass supporters.)
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To: Rodney King

Whenever I take my 2-year old to the local brothel it always amazes me how many shady women take a fancy to her. I wonder if I should be worried in some way.


23 posted on 09/24/2005 6:10:44 PM PDT by Socratic (Liberal's motto: Capio ergo sum.)
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To: Rodney King

We were living in University Heights at the time and I used to walk her down Park Boulevard, past bars and restaurants, and I noticed that many of the folks who used to make baby faces or funny noises at my daughter were at the restaurants that served wine or beer.





I lived 4 blocks west of Park Blvd. The partons are mostly gay and the writer's kid getting attention is NOTHING out of the ordinary. They intermingle with all little children and their parents. The cafe's have outdoor seating. Sheeeeeeeeeesh.


24 posted on 09/24/2005 6:11:01 PM PDT by onyx ((Vicksburg, MS) North is a direction. South is a way of life.)
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To: Rodney King
I sure thin..Thk..Thinnnk your kid is cute!
25 posted on 09/24/2005 6:16:29 PM PDT by Boazo (From the mind of BOAZO)
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To: Rodney King

26 posted on 09/24/2005 6:20:02 PM PDT by Boazo (From the mind of BOAZO)
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To: Rodney King
What is alcohol

It is a chemical depressant to humans.

Chemically depressed people are attracted to daughter.
Doubtful.

Dad perceives the attraction but has not stated what other people have been attracted to daughter.

This says a lot about dad.

Dad is what is known as a dry drunk.

Dad enjoys the company of those who are drinking
or who are in the milder (?) stages of inebriation.
He displaces this enjoyment to also involve his daughter.


However the Greeks , believing in Bacchus, thought that some people had a natural affinity to Bacchus. That is to say that some were touched by the various gods. I see this story as retro-Bacanalian. So when the daughter decides to join Bacanalian revels, how will he feel then?

This is typical liberal thinking BTW. The nation is full of liberal people who believe their children are " special" when in fact, tabula rasa, they are as ordinary as can be, and need to be made into special people,( the conservative view), if that is to happen at all. For this little girl, her development into a special person at the hands of her Dad is sadly unlikely.
27 posted on 09/24/2005 6:27:16 PM PDT by Candor7 (Into Liberal Flatulence Goes the Hope of the West)
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To: Rodney King

Maybe she understands their gibberish or likes hearing it. Something really odd going on here.


28 posted on 09/24/2005 6:31:29 PM PDT by jwh_Denver (A liberal is a communist in the oven.)
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To: ShadowDancer

When I am drunk, I adore babies. Otherwise I avoid them. So I must drink when the grandchildren visit.


29 posted on 09/24/2005 6:33:32 PM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: Rodney King

This guy is too self adsorbed and his daughter is an extension of his self.


30 posted on 09/24/2005 6:36:44 PM PDT by Last Dakotan
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To: cajungirl

I was at a stupid candle party (read, excuse to get together and drink) eight years ago and the woman hosting it had a four month old baby boy. My youngest is now seven. You do the math. Drinking is dangerous.


31 posted on 09/24/2005 6:37:42 PM PDT by ShadowDancer (Stupid people make my brain sad.)
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To: martin_fierro

ROTF


32 posted on 09/24/2005 6:38:17 PM PDT by calrighty
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To: ShadowDancer

You got pregnant at a party?

Man, I have lived such an innocent life.


33 posted on 09/24/2005 6:40:09 PM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: Candor7

Everyone thinks his child is unique and special, even pubs.

Conservatives drink to excess too.

Is everything related to the lib/conservative dichotomy in the world in your world view?


34 posted on 09/24/2005 6:42:28 PM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: Rodney King

Hmmm...This is one of the strangest things I have seen. My brain started to hurt after the first couple of sentances, so can someone give me the gist? My guess is the parents are boozehounds and only notice the behaviour of other boozehounds once they are drunk.


35 posted on 09/24/2005 6:44:06 PM PDT by devane617
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To: cajungirl

The women there were cool but let's not get silly. I got pregnant the old fashioned way, by telling my husband it was going to happen like it or not. Where's the rewind button when you need it?


36 posted on 09/24/2005 6:46:35 PM PDT by ShadowDancer (Stupid people make my brain sad.)
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To: cajungirl
However the Greeks , believing in Bacchus, thought that some people had a natural affinity to Bacchus. That is to say that some were touched by the various gods. I see this story as retro-Bacanalian. So when the daughter decides to join Bacanalian revels, how will he feel then?

Why all this when, 'This guy sucks' will do?

37 posted on 09/24/2005 6:49:20 PM PDT by ShadowDancer (Stupid people make my brain sad.)
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To: Rodney King

I'd be more worried about why people have to be drunk before they think my daughter is as cute as I think she is.


38 posted on 09/24/2005 6:50:28 PM PDT by gcruse (http://gcruse.typepad.com/)
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To: ShadowDancer
was at a stupid candle party (read, excuse to get together and drink) eight years ago and the woman hosting it had a four month old baby boy. My youngest is now seven. You do the math. Drinking is dangerous.

Lesson?

It's possible to get pregnant by/with a candle?.

39 posted on 09/24/2005 6:51:08 PM PDT by Randy Larsen (Freedom is not America's gift to man, Freedom is GOD'S gift to mankind!....G.W.Bush)
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To: Rodney King

Strange article. It seems like he enjoys the attention his daughter gets from drunk people, otherwise he wouldn't keep bringing her around them and letting them bother her. Poor kid, her father thinks that having drunk people blow their vodka breath all over her makes her "special". I wonder what the mother thought about this article.


40 posted on 09/24/2005 6:52:29 PM PDT by Born in a Rage
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To: ShadowDancer

I didn't say that!!

All I said was I drink to tolerate my wild injun grandchildren. Apologies to native americans everywhere.

I think he lives in a neighborhood with bars, probably a college town. And he likes to go to wine tastings.

But really, you think he gets babysitters in bars?


41 posted on 09/24/2005 6:54:35 PM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: Rodney King

42 posted on 09/24/2005 6:54:36 PM PDT by NonLinear (He's dead, Jim)
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To: ShadowDancer
The women there were cool but let's not get silly. I got pregnant the old fashioned way, by telling my husband it was going to happen like it or not. Where's the rewind button when you need it?

Another strange commentary. There's always adoption.

43 posted on 09/24/2005 6:55:24 PM PDT by Born in a Rage
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To: cajungirl

Okay, those were my words. And for the record, I know without blinking drinking will be involved with my own grandchildren. But, this article was sort of damned creepy. I like my beer, don't misunderstand me (okay, I like it a lot) but the stuff he wrote in here was just strange as hell. I never even got the point he was trying to make. Did you?


44 posted on 09/24/2005 6:59:18 PM PDT by ShadowDancer (Stupid people make my brain sad.)
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To: Born in a Rage

Nah, there's not a big market for eleven and seven year olds.


45 posted on 09/24/2005 7:00:33 PM PDT by ShadowDancer (Stupid people make my brain sad.)
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To: Rodney King

I'm sure some comedian has had a crowd rolling on the floor with material as absurd as this.

Dave Moye is not that comedian.


46 posted on 09/24/2005 7:02:23 PM PDT by avenir (Don't insult my intelligentness!)
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To: ShadowDancer

LOL!

Hon I got pregnant with my second after the July 4th fireworks at the military base where we were living. They had all these colored grenade bombs of some kind. It kind of set the mood.


47 posted on 09/24/2005 7:03:50 PM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: Born in a Rage

Oh pish, why would she adopt when she had a perfectly servicable husband and a candle to boot!!


48 posted on 09/24/2005 7:05:11 PM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: ShadowDancer

I think he was drinking when he wrote it.

What is a dirty martini?


49 posted on 09/24/2005 7:05:49 PM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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Comment #50 Removed by Moderator


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