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George Carlin on Katrina (funny)
email going around

Posted on 10/07/2005 6:16:59 AM PDT by Uncledave

Been sitting here with my ass in a wad, wanting to speak out about the bullshit going on in New Orleans. For the people of New Orleans... First we would like to say, Sorry for your loss. With that said, Lets go through a few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that..Get the hell out.

Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out... if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the Government's fault you're starving.

#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some.

(Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

#2b. If the local store has been looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's TV and stereo alone. (See # 2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their's theirs, not yours.

#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass who didn't leave when told to do so.

#4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave!

(It's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them)

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some good and join the Navy.

#6. Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million years).

#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Wal-Mart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living.

President Kennedy said it best..."Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

Thank you for allowing me to rant.

George Carlin

TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: blacks; carlin; gallowshumor; georgecarlin; humor; ibetitsfake; icantfindchat; katrina; myemailisnews
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To: VA_Gentleman

posted #38

41 posted on 10/07/2005 6:42:23 AM PDT by digger48
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Comment #42 Removed by Moderator

To: Uncledave

I knew it wasn't him when I got it.

I heard what he said recently about "Governor Bush" (he said he calls him that because it was the last thing he was really elected to.)

My use for Carlin ended 20 years ago

43 posted on 10/07/2005 6:44:54 AM PDT by digger48
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To: Uncledave

This is pretty good, but I doubt it's from leftist George Carlin. :-)

44 posted on 10/07/2005 6:45:03 AM PDT by alnick
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To: dfwgator

I seriously doubt this is from George Carlin. He would have been ranting about the US troops in Iraq.

Or declaring there is no God.

45 posted on 10/07/2005 6:45:36 AM PDT by WKB (If you can't dazzle them with brilliance.. then Baffle them with BS)
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To: Uncledave

This isn't George Carlin, it's Shakespeare.

46 posted on 10/07/2005 6:45:50 AM PDT by DTogo (I haven't left the GOP, the GOP left me.)
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To: #1CTYankee

>>:In the meantime, maybe someone ought to ask Mike Barnicle if he wrote it.

There's a yuk on every page!

(Disgraced former Boston Globe, and later Boston Herald,
columnist/Imus lackey/WTKK talk host was caught lifting
some Carlin-isms in his columns. He said he had never read
the book BRAIN DROPPINGS, from which some had appeared.
Then someone found a clip of the TV show "Chronicle" and
there was Barnicle touting that book he had supposedly
never read, saying there's a "yuk on every page".

47 posted on 10/07/2005 6:46:25 AM PDT by raccoonradio
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To: Uncledave

If this were Carlin, it would have been funnier; just as angry, maybe, but funnier. Some of the sentiments aren't TOTALLY different from what I'd expect from Carlin, but overall it seems a bit too right-wing for him.

48 posted on 10/07/2005 6:47:32 AM PDT by Steve_Seattle
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To: varyouga

Kind of like that one that is credited to Andy Rooney. No way is this George Carlin. The words Poverty Pimps will never cross his lips.

49 posted on 10/07/2005 6:49:12 AM PDT by Holicheese (Would you like a beer? No thanks, I will have a bud light.)
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To: raccoonradio


It started innocently enough - Mike Barnicle, far too busy to do any real work, churned out one of his patented, inane "I was just thinking" pieces, probably in about 15 minutes.

Only it turned out that eight to ten of the oh-so-witty comments bore a striking resemblance to similar comments in George Carlin's book BrainDroppings (the exact number depends on whether you believe the Globe or the Herald). A Howie Carr fan dropped a dime to the Herald, which, naturally, promptly wrote about it

When confronted by Globe Editor Matt Storin (in a phone call from his vacation hideway in Europe), Barnicle said he had never read Carlin's book. But then somebody found a pesky videotape of him on "Chronicle" promoting the book as "a yuk on every page." Oh, yeah, that, Barnicle said. He then explained that even though he was on videotape recommending the book, he hadn't actually read it.**

**--"The story is true..."--Dan Rather
"Fake but accurate"--NY Times

And he refused Storin's request that he do a Patricia Smith and resign.

On 8/11, Storin announced he had changed his mind - he would suspend Barnicle for two months but let him come back to work on Oct. 4.

Now that he's gone, And what's the problem with the Globe Metro section in the first place?


50 posted on 10/07/2005 6:51:13 AM PDT by raccoonradio
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To: avg_freeper
No, it's from Ted Nugent/Dennis Miller/Andy Rooney.

Andy Rooney would not say this. He has been very critical of W.
51 posted on 10/07/2005 6:53:27 AM PDT by Eagle of Liberty (11, 175, 77, 93 - In Memory Always)
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To: raccoonradio

Mike Barnicle is a looooser.

52 posted on 10/07/2005 7:23:31 AM PDT by #1CTYankee (I thought about that and DELIBERATELY didn't go there. ((Or maybe I did?))
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Comment #53 Removed by Moderator

To: Uncledave

I don't think this is Gearoge Carlin either. (A man I used to respect, but not anymore)

Goerge Carlin is a bitter, *extremely* anti-American jerk who's intelligence is so vastly eclipsed by his own opinion of his intelligence.

He has become like Bill maher, a guy who has learned how to say stuff that sounds really smart to people who don't know any better. He's taking advantage of people's ignorance.

I base this off his new book which I just read. He's changed from a sharp witted comedian who I used to love to a bitter old man mad at the world. (At least his writing makes it seem so)

There is no way George Carlin would say any of these things. He would come out firmly stating that is is all the governments fault and everyone's lives are entirely the governments responsibility.

54 posted on 10/07/2005 7:47:49 AM PDT by Bones75
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To: VA_Gentleman

"I doubt it's Carlin too. It's probably another fraud email like the "I'm a bad American" email that circulated a few years ago that was incorrectly attributed to him."

I've committed the following to memory from that email:

I believe that the money I make belongs to me and my family, and not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it to crackheads squirting out babies.

I'm sad to hear that it wasn't from Carlin, but that summed up my feelings on that issue pretty well.

55 posted on 10/07/2005 8:41:19 AM PDT by Woman on Caroline Street (Go sell crazy somewhere else. We're all stocked up here.)
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To: Uncledave

Believe me, Carlin did not write this. He'll be crying about this on his website for another five years like he did with the famous one that was going around. LOL!

56 posted on 10/07/2005 9:02:56 AM PDT by Hildy ( liberals cannot change the present, and cannot effect the future, so they MUST relive the past...)
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To: Bones75; All

George Carlin's humor took a huge turn for the worse when his beloved wife died. I believe she was the one that kept his dark side intact. He is/was very bitter about her death. This is what happens when you have no religion to heal your heart.

57 posted on 10/07/2005 9:05:41 AM PDT by Hildy ( liberals cannot change the present, and cannot effect the future, so they MUST relive the past...)
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To: Hildy

You are problaby right. It's ironic that he is so hateful towards Christianity yet if he had some fait.. not even Christianity but any faith at all in something bigger than himself, he probably would be more able to put it in perspective.

His new book, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops was depressing and sad to read. I knew Carlin's views were not the same as my own on many topics, but I know he is(was) usually really funny, and I am a big boy, I can take a bit of ribbing. I was execting a book full of funny jokes and quick wit.

Not far into the book, though, I realized that I was reading the mean-spirited rantings of an extremely bitter and miserable old man. If he had 2 positive thoughts in a row his brain would go into a seizure. The book reads more like this mans complete and total mental breakdown then a book of jokes. I am not even really religious and even I was offended by his seething hatred for Christians and anyone of faith, or for that matter anything in the world that represents even the smallest bit of decency. His jokes about Christians seem like overkill, and now the seem like really bitter hatred like he has some kind of an ax to grind. We know that he is an athiest, his jokes about it were funny 20 years ago. The facts that he's gone on about it for this long and has ratcheted up the bitterness tells me that there is more to the story, possibly from his childhood at the Chatholic school (specilation of course) or something, because he is really at WAR with any kind of faith whatsoever, and it goes beyond humor in that book. The George Carlin that I was a fan of is long gone.

It's fine to be adge and push the envelope, but if you're gonna do that, you have to make it FUNNY. If it's not funny it comes off like you're just a psycho old man. Bitter bitter bitter, mean and miserable. I put the book down and went outside and let the sun shine on my face and was thankful that I a do not have his worldview.

If this is because of the death of his wife, I truly feel sorry for his loss, it has ruined this man. I hope he can find some peace in some way. What's sad is his own worldview does a lot to prevent that. I hope somehow he starts to feel better.


58 posted on 10/07/2005 12:50:00 PM PDT by Bones75
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To: avg_freeper
The internet hoax Fab Four:

59 posted on 10/07/2005 12:53:25 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: Piquaboy
Andy Rooney is so senile he could not pour pee out of a boot with the directions on the heel.

That’s not very nice. Andy Rooney died a few years back, and just because nobody told him yet, we should show some respect.

Here he is last week, at the Petah Jennings memorial, God rest his soul:

60 posted on 10/07/2005 12:58:03 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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