Squirrels go nuts on crack (addicts hide drugs in gardens; our furry friends dig it up)

The Sun (U.K.); ^ | October 7, 2005 | VIRGINIA WHEELER

[Stoat]

Squirrels go nuts on crack

Squirrels ... digging up stashes
 

By VIRGINIA WHEELER

 SQUIRRELS are getting hooked on crack cocaine — hidden by addicts in gardens.

They are digging up the stashes and eating the mega-addictive drug, which comes in small chunks.

Several have been spotted behaving bizarrely in Brixton, South London, since a police blitz against pushers and users.

One resident said: “My neighbour said dealers had used my garden to hide crack.

“Just an hour earlier I’d seen a squirrel digging in the flower-beds.

“It was ill-looking and its eyes looked bloodshot, but it kept on desperately digging. It seems a strange thing to say, but it seemed to know what it was looking for.”

Other residents have seen squirrels become unusually aggressive.

The RSPCA said: “These animals are big foragers. They are attracted by smell and will dig up what they fancy.

“If a squirrel did open a bag of crack and start consuming it there is no doubt it would die pretty quickly.”

Crack squirrels are a recognised problem in America. They are common in parks used by addicts in New York and Washington DC.

They have been known to attack park visitors in their search for a fix.

[Stoat]

How would one differentiate between a squirrel on crack versus one that is not on crack?

According to the article, the crack-ho squirrels act strangely and aggressively, and sometimes attack people,

FReeper squirrels are polite, intellectually oriented and will cook you a nice dinner of gumbo and cornbread when you come to visit.

[Wilhelm Tell]

I guess someone's drug stash got squirrled away. Someone had to say it...

[FreeAtlanta]

So do democrats.

[grellis]

You wouldn't believe how polite my FReeping squirrels are. They hold doors open. They drink tea with their pinkies up.

The drunken SOB chipmunks are another story.

[Cyclone59]

I'm glad it's crack instead of crank, if it were, I'm sure that the gov't would have provided them with tiny needles.....

[Kimmers]

It is just a matter of time before they started acting "squirrelly".....someone had to say it

[Dittohead68]

'recognized us phenomena'

Just when did people stop using the "z" for words like recognized, realized and organized?

I realize that this is a U.K. writer from the UK Press, but it has been done here in the US as well. Have any of you noticed the trend? Quite disturbing. Almost seems like the Americanized ways are being phased out little by little. Or, am I a bit too anal?

[Dittohead68]

'recognised us phenomena'

damn - spell check changed it in previous post.

[Stoat]

I believe that spelling, grammar and verbal skills in general have decreased markedly over the past few decades. I can pick up just about any newspaper and usually find four or more major spelling or grammatical errors on any page, including the front page.

Newspapers used to be the reference standard for correct language usage, but in recent decades we have seen that the writers and editors rarely care enough to do any more than to press the spell-check key.

Not only have they become lazy in adhering to high standards of journalistic integrity but they are just lazy in general. Many of them simply don't know any better, because they were raised on TV and videogames instead of quality literature.

We are in the midst of a 'dark age' of literary, oratorical and grammatical excellence and our 'fourth estate' is leading the way, spiralling down into the turgid and seething cauldron of mediocrity with all afterburners fully engaged.

Fortunately, the cultural revisionists haven't quite gotten to the book-burning stage, and so future scholars of a more enlightened era will be able to learn how things are done when done properly.

"getting off soapbox now"

[manwiththehands]

"Squirrels on Crack"? You mean Democrats?

[dangus]

What's that in that stein? You managed to get a squirrel to pee in a cup?

[Stoat]

What's that in that stein? You managed to get a squirrel to pee in a cup?

It's a Quality Adult Beverage (beer) and I resent the suggestion that I would treat a fellow FReeper with such malicious disrespect.  Can you imagine how many squirrels it would take to fill a glass like that?  You would need to feed them a lot of beer (and crack) to produce so much.......

[dangus]

That is the British spelling. As an American who gre up reading a lot of British lit., I used to have the habit of British spelligs until the difference was pointed out by a 5th grade teacher. Maybe other Americans have similar habits, but I haven't seen much of it; I doubt it is a conspiracy.

(The habit died hard; I remember being marked off by a public skrewel teacher for using "theatre" and "realise" in an essay about Shakespeare.)

You owe the oracle one aluminium-foil hat

[dangus]

>> It's a Quality Adult Beverage (beer) and I resent the suggestion that I would treat a fellow FReeper with such malicious disrespect. <<

Hey, once a FReeper tried giving me some nasty horse pee called "Corona."

But your rezentment is duly noted.

[dangus]

P.S. I still can never remember how to spell lisence. Licence? License?

[mmercier]

This sounds like a weekly world news article.

[Dittohead68]

Have you noticed how colorful our money seems to be getting? All these shades of pretty colors - just like the rest of the world. As a matter of fact, I'll bet that before long, the IMF will be able to interchange our money with the Euro.

I want to keep my aluminum foil hat. It fits.

[confederate_infidel]

Soon the squirrels will be joining street gangs.I can just see them now.... For shizzle ma squizzle.

[Stoat]

Hey, once a FReeper tried giving me some nasty horse pee called "Corona."

I am shocked, outraged and offended that another FReeper would attempt to inflict such a grievous insult upon you, and you have my sincere sympathies for this act of culinary and cultural violence which victimized you in such a nightmarish way. 

Here, allow me to introduce you to one of our Friendly Thread Nurses, who will make sure, in a completely professional manner of course, that you have not suffered any lasting ill effects from this experience.  Just follow all of her instructions and everything will be just fine.

 

[Stoat]

This sounds like a weekly world news article.

Well, sometimes the Weekly World News accidentally swerves into the truth.  If you do a Google News search, you'll find that this story has been reported in a variety of newspapers.