Squirrels go nuts on crack (addicts hide drugs in gardens; our furry friends dig it up)

The Sun (U.K.); ^ | October 7, 2005 | VIRGINIA WHEELER

[Stoat]

Squirrels go nuts on crack

Squirrels ... digging up stashes
 

By VIRGINIA WHEELER

 SQUIRRELS are getting hooked on crack cocaine — hidden by addicts in gardens.

They are digging up the stashes and eating the mega-addictive drug, which comes in small chunks.

Several have been spotted behaving bizarrely in Brixton, South London, since a police blitz against pushers and users.

One resident said: “My neighbour said dealers had used my garden to hide crack.

“Just an hour earlier I’d seen a squirrel digging in the flower-beds.

“It was ill-looking and its eyes looked bloodshot, but it kept on desperately digging. It seems a strange thing to say, but it seemed to know what it was looking for.”

Other residents have seen squirrels become unusually aggressive.

The RSPCA said: “These animals are big foragers. They are attracted by smell and will dig up what they fancy.

“If a squirrel did open a bag of crack and start consuming it there is no doubt it would die pretty quickly.”

Crack squirrels are a recognised problem in America. They are common in parks used by addicts in New York and Washington DC.

They have been known to attack park visitors in their search for a fix.

[Stoat]

See also:

 

icSouthlondon - Squirrels on crack

Squirrels on crack

Oct 7 2005
 

 

South London Press

NATURE lovers fear that squirrels could become hooked on crack cocaine plundered from addicts' hidden stashes.

The furry animals are thought to be behind a new drugs turf war in Brixton - stealing rocks of crack hidden in front gardens.

Tough police action to rid the town centre of dealers and addicts has seen crackheads abandon their usual drug stash hideouts.

But the blitz has displaced some dealing into nearby residential streets.

Drug addicts are known to be hiding small stashes of crack rocks in people's front lawns late at night.

Squirrels have been spotted in the same front gardens, seemingly hunting out the buried narcotics.

The discovery has led some residents to speculate that the squirrels are already in the grips of addiction. One resident, who asked for his name to be withheld, told the South London Press.

"I was chatting with my neighbour who told me that crack users and dealers sometimes use my front garden to hide bits of their stash.

"An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering round the garden, digging in the flowerbeds.

"It looked like it knew what it was looking for.

"It was ill-looking and its eyes looked bloodshot but it kept on desperately digging.

"It was almost as if it was trying to find hidden crack rocks."

Crack squirrels are a recognised phenomena in the US.

They are known to live in parks frequented by addicts in New York and Washington DC.

The squirrels have attacked park visitors in their frenzied search for their next fix.

An RSPCA spokesman said he was unaware of the squirrels taking crack in Brixton.

[Shqipo]

They also go coo coo for cocoa puffs.

[scott7278]

I guess they moved past Clusters.

[Grizzled Bear]

Crack squirrels are a recognised phenomena in the US.
_________________________________________________________
That has to be the funniest sentence I have ever read!

I've lived outside the U.S. but I am still surprised by some of the things people in other countries believe about us!

[Lil'freeper]

heh. Ping.

[Crazieman]

'recognized us phenomena'

But when you run google searches, they're all UK links

[Mrs. Shawnlaw]

How does a squirrels eyes look bloodshot?

[nmh]

Did they test the squirrels to see if they were on this stuff?

[adorno]

“It was ill-looking and its eyes looked bloodshot, but it kept on desperately digging. It seems a strange thing to say, but it seemed to know what it was looking for.”

I'll start worrying about addicted squirrels when they approach me with a weapon and ask me for money to support their habit.

I'll worry even more when some liberal animal lovers want to start some government programs to help the squirrels break their habits.

[counterpunch]

[Stoat]

Did they test the squirrels to see if they were on this stuff?

It appears that squirrels have been observed digging up and eating the crack, and then acting strangely and aggressively.  From this an inference has been made. 

I'm not aware of any Government testing programs or treatment programs, no Betty Ford Clinics for squirrels, but just wait, it will all come in time.

 

[Grizzled Bear]

"all UK links"
__________________________________________________________
Alright; THAT part shouldn't surprise me. I lived in the UK. The funny thing was hearing some of the British civil servants on the U.S. Air Force base (RAF Lakenheath) criticizing the U.S. and it's policies.

I strongly believe in freedom of speech but these folks were extremely anti-American. They were hired by the British Ministry of Defense.

Can you imagine the looks I got when I suggested they protest by refusing their pay check?

Then I suggested they ask to be transfered to a British base. They told me to mind my own @#$% business. Due to their access they were allowed to use many of the base facilities. They really liked our "Perks" (when you bring a lot of young adults to another country the quality of life is important. You have to give them some familiar things).

Fortunately they were in the minority. Most of the MOD folks were cool! Sorry for going so far off topic...

[Racer1]

Yes and as Chevy Chase once said they tend to play with there nuts instead of eating them. :)

[Grizzled Bear]

Did they test the squirrels to see if they were on this stuff?
_______________________________________________________
Yes. It ain't easy to get a squirrel to pee in a cup.

[Grizzled Bear]

Did they test the squirrels to see if they were on this stuff?
_______________________________________________________
Yes. It ain't easy to get a squirrel to pee in a cup.

[Redcloak]

How would one differentiate between a squirrel on crack versus one that is not on crack?

[counterpunch]

[Racer1]

The one on crack will be carrying a dollar and a razor blade.

[Stoat]

I'll start worrying about addicted squirrels when they approach me with a weapon and ask me for money to support their habit.

That's essentially what's already happening.  When they eat it and then become aggressive. it sounds similar to an addict attacking you or holding you up with a gun.  Any rodent bite can be very serious and even life-threatening, particularly for older folks who might be relaxing on a public park bench or working in their gardens.

I'll worry even more when some liberal animal lovers want to start some government programs to help the squirrels break their habits.

It's only a matter of time before this happens.
 

[Stoat]

Sorry for going so far off topic...

I'm not a 'stay on topic' Fascist.  Your posts are interesting and appreciated.

[Stoat]

How would one differentiate between a squirrel on crack versus one that is not on crack?

According to the article, the crack-ho squirrels act strangely and aggressively, and sometimes attack people,

FReeper squirrels are polite, intellectually oriented and will cook you a nice dinner of gumbo and cornbread when you come to visit.

[Wilhelm Tell]

I guess someone's drug stash got squirrled away. Someone had to say it...

[FreeAtlanta]

So do democrats.

[grellis]

You wouldn't believe how polite my FReeping squirrels are. They hold doors open. They drink tea with their pinkies up.

The drunken SOB chipmunks are another story.

[Cyclone59]

I'm glad it's crack instead of crank, if it were, I'm sure that the gov't would have provided them with tiny needles.....

[Kimmers]

It is just a matter of time before they started acting "squirrelly".....someone had to say it

[Dittohead68]

'recognized us phenomena'

Just when did people stop using the "z" for words like recognized, realized and organized?

I realize that this is a U.K. writer from the UK Press, but it has been done here in the US as well. Have any of you noticed the trend? Quite disturbing. Almost seems like the Americanized ways are being phased out little by little. Or, am I a bit too anal?

[Dittohead68]

'recognised us phenomena'

damn - spell check changed it in previous post.

[Stoat]

I believe that spelling, grammar and verbal skills in general have decreased markedly over the past few decades. I can pick up just about any newspaper and usually find four or more major spelling or grammatical errors on any page, including the front page.

Newspapers used to be the reference standard for correct language usage, but in recent decades we have seen that the writers and editors rarely care enough to do any more than to press the spell-check key.

Not only have they become lazy in adhering to high standards of journalistic integrity but they are just lazy in general. Many of them simply don't know any better, because they were raised on TV and videogames instead of quality literature.

We are in the midst of a 'dark age' of literary, oratorical and grammatical excellence and our 'fourth estate' is leading the way, spiralling down into the turgid and seething cauldron of mediocrity with all afterburners fully engaged.

Fortunately, the cultural revisionists haven't quite gotten to the book-burning stage, and so future scholars of a more enlightened era will be able to learn how things are done when done properly.

"getting off soapbox now"

[manwiththehands]

"Squirrels on Crack"? You mean Democrats?

[dangus]

What's that in that stein? You managed to get a squirrel to pee in a cup?

[Stoat]

What's that in that stein? You managed to get a squirrel to pee in a cup?

It's a Quality Adult Beverage (beer) and I resent the suggestion that I would treat a fellow FReeper with such malicious disrespect.  Can you imagine how many squirrels it would take to fill a glass like that?  You would need to feed them a lot of beer (and crack) to produce so much.......

[dangus]

That is the British spelling. As an American who gre up reading a lot of British lit., I used to have the habit of British spelligs until the difference was pointed out by a 5th grade teacher. Maybe other Americans have similar habits, but I haven't seen much of it; I doubt it is a conspiracy.

(The habit died hard; I remember being marked off by a public skrewel teacher for using "theatre" and "realise" in an essay about Shakespeare.)

You owe the oracle one aluminium-foil hat

[dangus]

>> It's a Quality Adult Beverage (beer) and I resent the suggestion that I would treat a fellow FReeper with such malicious disrespect. <<

Hey, once a FReeper tried giving me some nasty horse pee called "Corona."

But your rezentment is duly noted.

[dangus]

P.S. I still can never remember how to spell lisence. Licence? License?

[mmercier]

This sounds like a weekly world news article.

[Dittohead68]

Have you noticed how colorful our money seems to be getting? All these shades of pretty colors - just like the rest of the world. As a matter of fact, I'll bet that before long, the IMF will be able to interchange our money with the Euro.

I want to keep my aluminum foil hat. It fits.

[confederate_infidel]

Soon the squirrels will be joining street gangs.I can just see them now.... For shizzle ma squizzle.

[Stoat]

Hey, once a FReeper tried giving me some nasty horse pee called "Corona."

I am shocked, outraged and offended that another FReeper would attempt to inflict such a grievous insult upon you, and you have my sincere sympathies for this act of culinary and cultural violence which victimized you in such a nightmarish way. 

Here, allow me to introduce you to one of our Friendly Thread Nurses, who will make sure, in a completely professional manner of course, that you have not suffered any lasting ill effects from this experience.  Just follow all of her instructions and everything will be just fine.

 

[Stoat]

This sounds like a weekly world news article.

Well, sometimes the Weekly World News accidentally swerves into the truth.  If you do a Google News search, you'll find that this story has been reported in a variety of newspapers.

[mmercier]

Seriously, the squirrels are suffering from distemper or rabies.

Likely the area has long since banned "cruel traps" used for animal control at local landfills. The rats go distemper or rabid and fight with the raccoons who venture into the suburban areas when the site gets capped. The squirrels and raccoons interact and the blood born disease transfers.

Wait till the peppy the house cat goes at it with a infected squirrel... I have seen this in person too many times. Then all the cat owners who outlawed "cruel traps" will scream to high heaven that something must be done to stop this outrage.

We did this in New England, killed off most of the raccoons via disease and are now watching same run through the skunk population. Rabies and distemper are now surging among house pets here, millions have and will continue to die.

When man alters the environment man must manage the alteration. You can not dump a hundred million cubic yards of food (garbage) and expect the natural balance to be maintained. Manage the alteration or accept infected animals, even in your yard or home.

[reagan_fanatic]

"I can quit anytime - honest!"

[dangus]

Look again. I never asked for an aluminum foil hat. Zheesh! (I mean, "Crimey!")

[mmercier]

>> Well, sometimes the Weekly World News accidentally swerves into the truth.

That may be true, but you can not seriously believe that a squirrel would eat crack cocaine.

That would be like my dog eating the cabbage I have out back.

Will not happen, can not happen and does not happen.

[Stoat]

You can not dump a hundred million cubic yards of food (garbage) and expect the natural balance to be maintained.

The same is true for a few grams of crack.....

[Stoat]

Will not happen, can not happen and does not happen.

Surely you can't be suggesting that Virginia Wheeler of The Sun is lying to us?

 

The horror of it all!  The horror!

[mmercier]

>> The same is true for a few grams of crack.....

I know and have known drug dealers. They don't leave anything where anyone can get at it, least of all a squirrel.

Assuming such was in fact plausible the scale of this phoneme indicates that most drug dealers are repeatedly burying their $hit that is eaten by squirrels and reburying more in a supposed safer place after the last stash got eaten...?

What a load of $hit this thread is, it is a blood born disease, the Britishers are nitwits, and I have seen dozens of cats, squirrels, skunks, opossum and chipmunks dying from distemper that exhibit peculiar behaviors. Good night to all and to all a good night.

[Stoat]

Good night to all and to all a good night.

Watch out for any crack-ho squirrels who might be lurking under the bed......

Thank you kindly for your gracious and congenial posts, and good night to you as well.

[Sisku Hanne]

I haven't been to th UK for nearly 20 years. But back then I was told they didn't have squirrels. Never saw one for the entire month.

[Graybeard58]

There's a squirrel in my neighborhood that I have turned into a democrat. I started giving him an occasional cookie, now any time he sees me he has his little paw held out.