The decline of manners in the U.S.

CNN ^ | Friday, October 14, 2005

[echoBoomer]

From road rage in the morning commute to high decibel cell-phone conversations that ruin dinner out, men and women behaving badly have become the hallmark of a hurry-up world. An increasing informality -- flip-flops at the White House, even -- combined with self-absorbed communication gadgets and a demand for instant gratification have strained common courtesies to the breaking point.

"All of these things lead to a world with more stress, more chances for people to be rude to each other," said Peter Post, a descendent of etiquette expert Emily Post and an instructor on business manners through the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vermont.

In some cases, the harried single parent has replaced the traditional nuclear family, and there's little time to teach the basics of polite living, let alone how to hold a knife and fork, according to Post.

A slippage in manners is obvious to many Americans. Nearly 70 percent questioned in an Associated Press-Ipsos poll said people are ruder than they were 20 or 30 years ago. The trend is noticed in large and small places alike, although more urban people -- 74 percent -- report bad manners, then do people in rural areas, 67 percent...

[McGavin999]

The other day a young lady was coming in from the parking lot with an arm load of papers. As I opened the door for myself, I held it open for her too. She passed through the door without saying a word. Fed up with rudeness I passed her in the hall and cheerfully said in a very loud voice "You're welcome."

She had the grace to turn bright red and murmer "I was thinking thank you, but I guess I didn't say it out loud."

People need to be taught manners and they need to be reminded that in a civil society it is an obligation.

[mtntop3]

(BTW, my 4 year old knows how to hold a fork properly...because I cannot stand watching kids hold utensils in fisted hands.)

It's depressingly impressive how many adult "kids" use the fisted fork maneuver - along with suffering from glued-on cap virus in dining and other public places.

[mtntop3]

(BTW, my 4 year old knows how to hold a fork properly...because I cannot stand watching kids hold utensils in fisted hands.)

It's depressingly impressive how many adult "kids" use the fisted fork maneuver - along with suffering from glued-on cap virus in dining and other public places.

[varon]

My pet peeve are the people who don't return their grocery carts to the cart corrals at the supermarket.

If you'll notice, it's usually the lard butt who could use the exercise ;-)

[teenyelliott]

Ummmmm, are you paying tribute to the smurfs???????

[ladyL]

May I bring it to every Northerner's attention that if you live in the South or are planning to move here YOU MUST TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO SAY YES MAM AND NO SIR!!! The Yanks have tried to let their children ruin the courteous South but the South will not loose this waaw.

[King Prout]

nope. I'm paying homage to the wise and far-seeing Gargamel.

[King Prout]

A persistent problem for me is to receive a phone call and have the caller ask to speak to so-and-so WITHOUT identifying themselves first. I resent HAVING to ask "Who is speaking?"

yes, that is extremely poor telephone etiquette

[Young Werther]

Please and Thank You have fallen out of favor. The family, church, school and all of society must/can teach politeness.

Whenever my manners were less than appropriate my Italian Grandma would motivate me by yelling "cafone"(apporximately "Bum") and applying her wooden spoon to my backside!!

Civic duty demands being helpful to your fellow man, so said my Mom, Dad, and teachers. Flat tire demanded you stop and help. Trash in the road, pick it up even if it's not yours!

Several years back there was a campaign to be agressively compassionate and helpful. Maybe we need to reinstitute that!!

[teenyelliott]

Why? Cause he was racist toward blue people????

[King Prout]

No, because he knew a good meal when he squashed it.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

nope. I'm paying homage to the wise and far-seeing Gargamel.

If only he had wiped them out before they managed to make that stupid cereal commercial.

They ruined the Nutcracker Suite for me.

[King Prout]

If only he had wiped them out before they managed to make that stupid cereal commercial. They ruined the Nutcracker Suite for me.

the horror... the horror...

[SaveTheChief]

The other day a young lady was coming in from the parking lot with an arm load of papers. As I opened the door for myself, I held it open for her too. She passed through the door without saying a word.

This is exactly the kind of behavior that makes me indifferent to holding doors for strangers anymore. I do it to be polite, and because I was taught as a child to be a gentleman. It would be nice to hear a "thank you", or at the very least get some kind of eye contact and a nod. Maybe I am weird or something, but I think one can only continue being ignored for so long before asking himself if he should even bother.

I still do it, but I have stopped expecting others to be polite.

[SamAdams76]

This rudeness and insatiable appetite for immediate gratification is making the workplace miserable as well. I am a manager at work and I am literally under assault all day long with cell phone calls, urgent emails, pages and whatnot. 95% of this stuff could be handled routinely. I check my voicemails and emails periodically throughout the day. But there are people (customers and co-workers) who insist upon speaking with me "right now, this instant."

Sometimes I'll sit in my office and I'll see my office phone ring again and again. Then my cellphone will go off. Then my office phone will ring incessantly again. Then I'll hear my name paged over the loudspeaker. Then the receptionist will come knocking on my door and tell me there is a person who is insisting on "speaking to me live."

I know that this is the same person who just spent the past 10 minutes calling every phone number possible trying to reach me live. When I finally get this jerk on the phone, it ends up being something that I could have answered in 10 seconds on email and it wasn't time-sensitive.

Sometimes I feel like disconnecting my computer, smashing all my pagers and phones against a wall and just going to the beach.

[teenyelliott]

That's it.

I'm calling Jesse Smurf.

[King Prout]

I fed Jesse Smurf to my cat last week.

[King Prout]

...as well as the Smurferend Jesse Smurfson.

what can I say? Mollie was rather peckish last week... growing kitty and all

[King Prout]

like so?:

[GraceCoolidge]

Is there one man anywhere in the entire country who still takes his hat off indoors?

My husband's peeve is men wearing their hats at the table in restaurants. Drives him crazy!