Well madprof....I don't think I agree.
Loving the children's mother or father is essential for the healthy nurturing of the child. Mostly we learn to love from our parents love for us and their love for each other.
My wife's family had a great deal of criticism of the mother and it really screwed up the kids. Whenever I'd visit the #1 phrase I'd hear was, "Aw Ma!"
The father was always belittling her in front of the kids and they learned to do it too. It affected the whole household's attitude toward each other.
The daughters grew up determined not to let anything like that ever happen to them....and I married one of them...very defensive at any criticism.
I agree with that. But I also think (and I believe the studies confirm this) that kids generally do better in households where the parents self-describe as "unhappily married" than they do in households where the parents have split up. Years ago, people used to "stay together for the sake of the children." More recently, in the age of ME/MYSELF/I, they decided that was too stressful and rationalized their behavior by claiming the kids were badly affected by their own unhappiness. Maybe, maybe not. But almost always, the kids get hurt much, much more badly when their parents divorce.