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Raccoons destroy German vineyards [Nazi Raccoons!]
Decanter ^ | 10/26/05 | Oliver Styles

Posted on 10/27/2005 12:12:26 PM PDT by LibWhacker

Thousands of marauding racoons, descendents of animals released by Hermann Goering, have overrun vineyards in central Germany.

The nocturnal mammals descended on vineyards in the Brandenburg region, west of Berlin, ruining the harvest. Ripening grapes are a favourite snack of the stripy-tailed rodent.

'Raccoons wiped out almost the entire harvest in a matter of days,' winemaker Werner Kothe told Deutsche Presse-Agentur. 'We have 540 vines and they have been stripped bare by these animals.'

The raccoon problem is well known in the area and although some residents take them on as pets, many consider the imported species pests.

Local authorities have now authorised a raccoon cull. Last year, a similar cull killed 3,471. There are an estimated 1m racoons in central Germany.

The animals were introduced by Nazi air force chief Hermann Goering in 1934 to 'enrich' Germany's fauna. With no natural predators their numbers have exploded.

The main winegrowing regions in west Germany – including the Mosel, Rheingau, Saar and Pfalz areas – are believed to be unaffected.


TOPICS: Germany; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: destroy; german; goering; hermangoering; nazi; raccoons; vineyards

1 posted on 10/27/2005 12:12:28 PM PDT by LibWhacker
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To: LibWhacker

Perhaps we could interest the Germans in some good coon-hounds and shotguns?


2 posted on 10/27/2005 12:16:46 PM PDT by clee1 (We use 43 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, and 2 to pull a trigger. I'm lazy and I'm tired of smiling.)
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To: LibWhacker

In another frightening development, officals have discovered that the raccoons have a fairly advanced rocket program as well.


3 posted on 10/27/2005 12:18:01 PM PDT by travlnmn41
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To: LibWhacker

You only have to kill one of them. The rest will usually move on in search of safer foraging.


4 posted on 10/27/2005 12:18:07 PM PDT by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: clee1

The mere mention of guns will cause mass hysteria in Germany.


5 posted on 10/27/2005 12:18:23 PM PDT by ncountylee (Dead terrorists smell like victory)
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To: The_Victor

Just put in more roads, that'll kill 'em off.


6 posted on 10/27/2005 12:19:28 PM PDT by Fierce Allegiance (If you want to be on my Civil Engineer ping list, just say so!)
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To: LibWhacker

Nazi raccoons?

Weinstocknacht?


7 posted on 10/27/2005 12:19:44 PM PDT by Riley ("Bother" said Pooh, as he fired the Claymores.)
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To: LibWhacker
The nocturnal mammals descended on vineyards in the Brandenburg region, west of Berlin

Guess they did not close the gate.

8 posted on 10/27/2005 12:20:49 PM PDT by Michael.SF. ('That was the gift the president gave us, the gift of happiness, of being together,' Cindy Sheehan")
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To: martin_fierro

Ach du leiber!


9 posted on 10/27/2005 12:21:34 PM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (Now that taglines are cool, I refuse to have one.)
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To: LibWhacker
The animals were introduced by Nazi air force chief Hermann Goering in 1934 to 'enrich' Germany's fauna.

I wonder if Goering was a drug addict in 1934 or did he start abusing morphine later.

10 posted on 10/27/2005 12:22:33 PM PDT by evolved_rage
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To: LibWhacker

Release the hounds......


11 posted on 10/27/2005 12:23:09 PM PDT by showme_the_Glory (No more rhyming, and I mean it! ..Anybody got a peanut.....)
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To: Fierce Allegiance
Just put in more roads, that'll kill 'em off.

They have become rather adept at getting around using the storm sewers where I live.

12 posted on 10/27/2005 12:23:40 PM PDT by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: Riley

Lol, I think the press is funny. Whenever something bad happens they try their darndest to tie it in to Nazis and/or Republicans, somehow, someway. :-)


13 posted on 10/27/2005 12:24:08 PM PDT by LibWhacker
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To: LibWhacker

But in this case, the tie is VERY fitting.


14 posted on 10/27/2005 12:25:23 PM PDT by Fierce Allegiance (If you want to be on my Civil Engineer ping list, just say so!)
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To: evolved_rage

I think he got started recovering from a wound in WWI.


15 posted on 10/27/2005 12:25:30 PM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (Now that taglines are cool, I refuse to have one.)
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To: LibWhacker

Where's PETA when you need them?


16 posted on 10/27/2005 12:28:20 PM PDT by Brilliant
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To: ncountylee
The mere mention of guns will cause mass hysteria in Germany.

Thank God for that.


17 posted on 10/27/2005 12:28:30 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: Fierce Allegiance

Yes, it's fitting. And we can count on them not missing it. Like a puppy finding a bone in his box. Lol, I don't know, it just struck me as hilarious/ludicrous; they're so transparent. :-)


18 posted on 10/27/2005 12:29:12 PM PDT by LibWhacker
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To: LibWhacker
SHULTZ!
19 posted on 10/27/2005 12:29:14 PM PDT by llevrok (Drink your beer, damnit! There are sober people in Africa !)
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To: showme_the_Glory

Heck they are just great big hassenfeffers (or rabit stew, whatever).


20 posted on 10/27/2005 12:29:32 PM PDT by Safetgiver (Noone spoke when the levee done broke, Blanco cried and Nagin lied.)
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To: Fierce Allegiance

Baby diapers baited with toxic poo would trim their numbers. I've yet to find the raccoon that can resist making off with a tasty used diaper from an overturned trash can. I just wish they wouldn't leave what's left of their meal wrapper hanging in the tree over my front gate!


21 posted on 10/27/2005 12:29:46 PM PDT by Kiss Me Hardy
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To: Fierce Allegiance

Shamelessly swiped from our FRiend martin.

22 posted on 10/27/2005 12:31:00 PM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (Now that taglines are cool, I refuse to have one.)
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To: LibWhacker

"grapes are a favourite snack of the stripy-tailed rodent."





Raccoons are not rodents. Maybe they've got this animal confused with some other animal. Maybe it's a giant communist rat, descended from animals released by Joseph Stalin.


23 posted on 10/27/2005 12:36:34 PM PDT by Brilliant
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To: Fierce Allegiance

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the raccoon that it can be done.


24 posted on 10/27/2005 12:37:38 PM PDT by Straight8 (Today is a gift, that's why it's called "the present".)
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To: Kiss Me Hardy
Baby diapers baited with toxic poo would trim their numbers.

Yeah, but who's going to volunteer to fit them with the diapers?

25 posted on 10/27/2005 12:38:08 PM PDT by Brilliant
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To: Tijeras_Slim

LOLOL... How did I ever miss that one?


26 posted on 10/27/2005 12:38:32 PM PDT by LibWhacker
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To: LibWhacker

One of my friends in high school adopted a raccoon. Pretty cool, but don't piss him off. Her dad used to feed the skunks that were tipping over the trash cans. Yes, we're weird : )

I wouldn't be amused if it was my vineyard being ravaged, though.


27 posted on 10/27/2005 12:39:47 PM PDT by TheSpottedOwl ("President Bush, start building that wall"!)
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To: Brilliant
Maybe it's a giant communist rat, descended from animals released by Joseph Stalin.

I thought they just voted him out.

28 posted on 10/27/2005 12:40:43 PM PDT by rogue yam
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To: Tijeras_Slim

Schweet!


29 posted on 10/27/2005 12:41:35 PM PDT by Fierce Allegiance (If you want to be on my Civil Engineer ping list, just say so!)
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To: Brilliant
ROTFLOL

Good catch on the rodent thing!

30 posted on 10/27/2005 12:43:19 PM PDT by LibWhacker
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To: The_Victor

Our city is overrun with raccoons-We developed a control program here by dropping, by plane, thousands of packets filled with honey mixed with estrogen. It was a bi-weekly airborne assault of all the ravines of surrounding suburbs. The idea is that it disrupts racoons breeding cycles and results in fewer offspring every summer.


31 posted on 10/27/2005 12:43:56 PM PDT by Antioch (Benedikt Gott Geschickt)
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To: Kiss Me Hardy
Baby diapers baited with toxic poo would trim their numbers.

You don't need to bait them. Baby diapers are toxic by nature.

32 posted on 10/27/2005 12:44:38 PM PDT by wyattearp (The best weapon to have in a gunfight is a shotgun - preferably from ambush.)
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To: TheSpottedOwl
Yeah, to me it always seemed like they were pretty dangerous animals to have as pets... Though I love 'em in principle!

Wow, feeding skunks... Even I wouldn't do that, lol! :-)

33 posted on 10/27/2005 12:46:27 PM PDT by LibWhacker
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To: Antioch

Ahhhh... I think they're doing that with coyotes, too, aren't they?... Birth control for pests/dangerous animals... Good idea.


34 posted on 10/27/2005 12:48:41 PM PDT by LibWhacker
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To: evolved_rage
I wonder if Goering was a drug addict in 1934 or did he start abusing morphine later.

It was before that. He was shot during the Munich Beer Hall Putsch in November 1923 . He even went through re-hab in Sweden in about 1925. (He received a painful wound in the groin).

35 posted on 10/27/2005 12:49:25 PM PDT by PAR35
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To: Kiss Me Hardy
When I first got out of college, I rented a house with a couple of other guys. This humungous raccoon ate a hole
in the roof, and drove us nuts scampering across the floor in the middle of the night.

The landlord finally fixed the roof after a rain water started pouring in one day.

36 posted on 10/27/2005 12:55:30 PM PDT by Calvin Locke
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To: LibWhacker
...animals released by Hermann Goering...

"As Odin is my witness, I thought racoons could fly."

37 posted on 10/27/2005 12:56:42 PM PDT by decimon
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To: Antioch

Well - does it work?


38 posted on 10/27/2005 12:58:35 PM PDT by GSlob
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To: LibWhacker
This has been posted before, I think, and it also gets posted from time to time on "furry" newsgroups. (A furry is a fan of anthromorphic animal cartoons. I am one...Typical furry newsgroup post title: "Unicorns Against Bush". I followed up with "Raccoons For Bush". Whenever this story pops up on a furry newsgroup, the comparisons of conservatives and Republicans to Nazis often follows, at which point I remind them that Nazi is short for National SOCIALIST, actually.

German word for raccoon is "waschbar" which I think literally means "washing bear" (washes food)

39 posted on 10/27/2005 12:58:43 PM PDT by raccoonradio
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To: LibWhacker
Goering wasn't the first to try this idea. In the late 1800’s Eugene Scheiffelin set out to introduce to America all of the birds depicted in Shakespeare’s writings. He released sixty starlings in Central Park in March of 1890 and forty more the following year. By 1970, that small group of founders grew to half a billion birds invading the continental US and Canada all the way to the arctic circle. Starlings are clever and extremely adaptable to urbanized environments, forcing native species like bluebirds, woodpeckers, flickers and martins out of their natural habitats.
40 posted on 10/27/2005 12:59:36 PM PDT by Antioch (Benedikt Gott Geschickt)
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To: raccoonradio
Ich bin ein football mascot! (T-Rac of Tenn. Titans)


41 posted on 10/27/2005 1:01:03 PM PDT by raccoonradio
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To: GSlob
Well - does it work?

Its a multi-year program- we'll have to see in the long run. It seems in my neighborhood, it's 2 skunks and 1 raccoon per house. Toronto is too liberal for a simple bounty on their heads, but that would be cheap, quick and effective.

42 posted on 10/27/2005 1:04:36 PM PDT by Antioch (Benedikt Gott Geschickt)
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To: LibWhacker

Lots of rabid ones where I live. If you see one in daylight it is far safer to ensure the animal assumes room temperature than to risk any encounter.


43 posted on 10/27/2005 1:07:44 PM PDT by rod1
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To: Brilliant
Stalin didn't do rats... he did giant Commie Crabs!


44 posted on 10/27/2005 1:14:38 PM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (Now that taglines are cool, I refuse to have one.)
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To: LibWhacker
Probably going after the hyper-sweet late harvest grapes.
45 posted on 10/27/2005 1:25:22 PM PDT by steveo (Member: Fathers Against Rude Television)
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To: rod1

>>If you see one in daylight it is far safer to ensure the animal assumes room temperature than to risk any encounter.

I saw one on my back porch a few weeks back. I opened the door and saw it under a lawn chair I had, looking up at me. I live on the third floor of an apartment house, and the woman on the 2nd floor has a cat; the cat was on the stairs leading up to my porch and meowing up at me as if to say "get this thing out of here!!" Scaredy-cat.

The raccoon went up onto a "half-roof" (the left side of the house extends a bit further than the right side, so this is what was covering that extension) and looked down at me,
shaking a bit (scared). No sign of rabies from what I could see. After a minute or so the raccoon seemed to relax, sensing I would do it no harm. I just looked up at it
calmly. Didn't pet it --didn't want to take a chance! Then the critter bounded over the side of the roof and probably jumped off safely from a low point (I couldn't see).

I mentioned this to a couple newsgroups and they said I did the right thing (in terms of not petting it). They said while it is true that some raccoons will come out in the late afternoon to "sun themselves" (and that's what time of day it was), you never know which ones are rabid and it's best to leave them alone--risk of rabies and who knows what else.


46 posted on 10/27/2005 1:42:53 PM PDT by raccoonradio
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To: llevrok

"I know no-think!"

47 posted on 10/27/2005 1:46:04 PM PDT by JRios1968 ("Cogito, ergo FReep": I think, therefore I FReep.)
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To: LibWhacker

Time for the Krauts to import some pythons. We have plenty in Florida to give them. All they have to do is come to the 'Glades and pick 'em up.


48 posted on 10/27/2005 1:46:28 PM PDT by libstripper
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