Skip to comments.An Open Letter to RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman
Posted on 10/27/2005 6:15:17 PM PDT by kas2591
An Open Letter to RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman Written by Doc Farmer Thursday, October 27, 2005
Dear Mr. Mehlman,
Ive been getting a lot of mail from you lately. At least twice a week, I get some sort of impassioned plea by the Republican National Committee, the Republican National Congressional Committee, the Republican National Judicial Committee, the Republican National Left-Handed-Bald-Headed-Buck-Toothed-Anorexic-Sumo-Wrester Committee, etc. All asking for money.
Now, as a political party, theres nothing wrong with fundraising. You do it, the lib/dem/soc/commies do it, even my own party does it (although we dont do a $1000 a plate dinner more like a ten-quid beer bust). But since youre advertising a product (conservatism) and youre trying to sell it to me so that you can get my cash, I think it only fair to tell you something important.
Youre selling a defective product.
Im sorry to be so blunt, but lets face it. Congress has done very little to prove that theyre conservative. Hell, its hard to figure out if theyre even Republicans these days. With only a few exceptions, virtually ALL the rep/cons in Congress are more like lib/dem/soc/commie-lite. All the socialism with one-third less vertebrae.
When America finally voted the lib/dem/soc/commies out of power in Congress, back in 1994, I was in a pretty good mood. I was looking forward to better control of the profligate spending that is the hallmark of Congress. I was looking forward to some serious ass-kicking in the judicial selection process, to turn away from the legislating from the bench you always get with lib/dem/soc/commies. I was looking for smaller government, better military investment, better veterans benefits, and getting rid of the near-communist welfare state that your political opponents have been building since the 1930s.
Im still looking. But Im not seeing it.
In fact, Im seeing just the opposite. Citizens Against Government Waste (http://www.CAGW.org) honored Rep. Ray LaHood (R-IL) as Octobers Porker of the Month. Hes not the first, nor is he the only rep/con listed in their august and non-partisan site. Our federal budget is rapidly climbing its way toward THREE TRILLION dollars. Twenty years ago, it was less than one-fifth that amount. What the (insert favourite expletive here) kind of conservatism is that? Ill tell you its LIBERALISM.
And how about standing up to your lib/dem/soc/commie brethren in Congress for a change, eh? Well, if half of that benighted gang of fourteen is any indication, you guys are standing on your knees. Let me give you a news flash. YOU WON! Stop acting like you still have to ask permission from the people you beat. Dont give them equal status in committees. In fact, boot some of those bozos, especially on the Judiciary Committee. BOTH sides.
One thing that irked me something fierce was when the president asked Teddy the Hutt to write a bill for him. As Aristophanes said in the 4th century BC, WTF?!? We voted for conservatives to write legislation. We certainly didnt want the Hero of Chappaquiddick, the champion of socialists everywhere to get his grubby mitts on ANY new laws. Especially one that involved OUR money.
Then theres the treatment of your enemies in public. For example, why has nobody in the Senate taken Kerry to task for accusations of treason during his short stint in Vietnam? For that matter, why havent Patty bin Murray, Jim bin McDermott, and a number of other pro-terrorists in Congress been arrested for providing aid and comfort to the enemy? Why hasnt anybody demanded that Kerry return his salary for the past two years, considering his constant absenteeism? Why hasnt somebody anybody in the administration bitch-slapped Helen Thomas for her disrespectful mouth? Why hasnt the Justice Department taken CBS and Dan I still believe those forged documents are genuine Rather to task for forging military documents? Why havent press credentials been pulled? Why hasnt the 9th Circuit Court been impeached/disbarred/fired/etc.?
Frankly, Im beginning to wonder if you and the rep/cons in Congress should be sued for false advertising. Because what you said you were going to do is light-years away from what youve actually delivered. The latter being what youd find on the end of a pitchfork while youre mucking out the stables.
Now, I know that the argument made is that if I dont provide you with financial support, the lib/dem/soc/commies will get back into power. To which I reply, GOOD! If this is the ONLY way you bozos will understand that you shouldnt screw over your constituency, then fine. I dont want the Hildebeast anywhere near the Oval Office again, I admit. However, if you guys cant provide an actual alternative to the enemy, how are you not the enemy?
Do you guys really want my money? Well, then Id expect Congress and the Executive Branch (all the way up to you-know-who) to follow this simple ten-and-a-half step program
1. Grow a spinal column.
2. Stop spending my money like a group of drunken sailors.
3. Pass and implement a constitutional amendment for a line-item veto for the president.
4. USE the line-item veto.
5. Pass and implement a constitutional amendment for congressional term limits.
6. Shut down the Education Department, the Energy Department, the Health and Human Services Department, and the IRS. For starters.
7. Slash the federal budget (non-military) by 50%. In the first year.
8. Increase the military budget by 10%.
9. Put Matthew Lesko out of business (and if youve ever seen late-night infomercials, youll know who Im talking about.
10. Instead of giving him legislation to write, shoot Teddy Kennedy with a harpoon during his upcoming Broadway debut in the title role of Moby Dick.
a. Uh, lets make that pay-per-view.
Then, maybe youll be worth contributing to. Until then, Ill send money to the SwiftVets or individual candidates who will actually have the testicular fortitude to actually go to Congress as a conservative, come back home as a conservative, and acting like a conservative instead of a frightened four-year-old girl.
Oh, and be sure to say hi to your other famous relative, Larry Bud Mehlman. Right now, I think hed be a more effective party chairman, quite frankly.
About the Writer: Doc Farmer is a writer and humorist who is also a moderator on ChronWatch's Forum. He formerly lived in Saudi Arabia and Qatar, but now resides in the Midwest. Doc receives e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.
You must have a low humor threshold.
You must be a phone solicitor.
No, just someone who only laugh at things that are truly humorous -- such at Edward Moore Kennedy trying to stay sober.
I've heard this statement many times in the last couple months and it is very disrespectful to sailors. We may get drunk, but at least we spend our own money.
You don't think that's funny?
I thought my paragraph formatting would be retained. Sorry for the long blob of text.
Yep...his book should be a guide to cutting wasteful, bloated, bureaucratic laden programs.
Made me laugh too....there is some truth to his humor. Not complete truth, but enough that you aren't laughing because you know a lot of it is true...which is sad.
I agree with you, the term drunken sailor is demeaning, the ACLU would be jumping all over if some one described, spending money as a drunken Ted Kennedy
Out of business, hell. I want him impaled slowly, ugly suit and all, right out on Lafayette Square. That is one obnoxious dude.