The spreading threat..

Off the coast of Somalia last week, several small fishing boats were nearly run down by an apparently intoxicated crew aboard a Western-owned "pleasure" ship. Witnesses say that the "freedom fishermen" aboard the small boats were peacefully launching liberation charges aimed at forcing stunned fish to the surface, when, out of nowhere, a gigantic vessel lurched over the horizon and threatened them all.

"This isn't something we haven't seen before," commented Ali "the scourge" Akhbar, one of the fishermen. "These debaucherous European infidels come by, flaunting their food and drink, while the people of Somalia starve." Riots had reportedly broken out several nights before, when several fisherman were lost in a sudden explosion aboard their craft. Rumors quickly spread that several Improvised Fishing Devices went off prematurely, caused by a large wave deliberately launched from over the horizon.

"We are not so stupid that we cannot see that the wave was aimed towards us; surely by a large vessel such as the Seaborne Spirit," a spokesman for the Law Of Delightfully Opportune Salvage Committee explained.

The rioting quietly down quickly after the Somalians burned the national car. "It was a shame, that," one of the onlookers commented. "We had been saving, as a nation, to buy a new starter motor. Now, it's back to camels..."

In sympathy with their maritime islamic brethren, Parisian elites recommended that the cruise line owners consider offering "surf for peace", granting the sappers in the Somalia Fishing Brigades a promise of free use of the sea for fishing, a rather excellent deal on a starter motor, (with exchange), and ...the death of all infidels. ... in exchange for peace in our time.

In response to charges from the United States that attempted piracy may actually have been involved, Frenchmen worldwide could only sniff, "Pfagh!. We spit on your yankee suspicion. We pull our hair out at you! Live miserably like an undercooked snail, you...you...rebellious colonists..."

Though rocked by the response, the U.S. stock market failed to move either way. "Being closed on Sundays," a Big Board spokesman explained patiently, "...was probably the reason."

Item # 1 New Epithet for Islamic Terrorist: "Somali Pirate" By Debbie Schlussel Congratulations to the media! They've just developed a new way to avoid saying "Islamic terrorist." You've, no doubt, heard the news story of Islamic terrorists from Somalia trying to hijack a cruise line, off the coast of Africa, this weekend. The men were armed with assorted weapons, including guns and grenade launchers. But the media called them "Somali pirates." Guess what religion virtually all Somalis are? Hint: It begins with an "I," ends with an "M," and has "SLA" in the middle........ Item # 2 Australians after a possible terrorist attack off Africa's coast, Foreign Minister Alexander Downer said today. The passengers on the US-owned Seabourn Spirit were woken by machinegun fire and a rocket-propelled grenade crashing into the vessel at dawn on Saturday about 160km off the coast of the lawless nation of Somalia. The luxury cruise ship is about to dock in the Seychelles, but Mr Downer said that could be delayed while officials disarm the unexploded ordnance...... Item # 3 Perhaps this photo from Bali might give the CIA a hint that Islamofascists are present, when these IED making folks use their "extra" explosives to FISH ! Bali's Ruthless Fishermen Powered by CDNN - CYBER DIVER News Network by HEATHER BRYAN www.cdnn.info/article/ bali/bali.html Dynamite fishing in Indonesia Indonesia is home to some of the most precious coral reefs in the world but the coral is under attack from local fishermen in search of an easy catch. They use cyanide and explosives to net fish and are killing off the coral in the process. In north-west Bali, environmentalists and marine police, park rangers and local people have set up marine patrols to try to stop the devastation. The patrols do not leave from the main harbour of Gilimanuk, where ferries loaded with passengers and freight set off for nearby Java. Instead, they secretly push off from secluded beaches early in the morning, out of sight of the town's fishermen. In a recent trip, at the top of the Bali Straits, the patrol came across a boat fishing in the coral zone - the clear waters that hug Bali's coastline. The fisherman was caught waist deep in the water, walking on the coral. A tyre with a net holding his catch was floating beside him - the tiny multicoloured fish destined for the aquarium trade. Clear warning The fisherman was ordered on to the patrol boat by the patrol leader, Kairo Sabar. He was reprimanded for fishing in the coral zone and his boat searched - but no cyanide or explosives were found. On this occasion he was let off with a strict warning. But within a few months fishermen will face instant prosecution if caught in the coral zone or using banned substances. The fisherman had to sign a statement form acknowledging he was fishing in a prohibited area. The patrol leader warned him that if he was caught with cyanide or explosives, his boat would be seized and he could face between five and 10 years in jail. Coral damage Indonesia's recent economic difficulties have increased the number of villagers and fishermen using the banned methods, which are a quick and easy way of getting food and money. The fishermen use cyanide to stun the fish. It makes them slower and easier to catch. Cyanide does not kill the coral outright but bleaches it, making it weak and vulnerable. Much more hazardous is blast fishing which kills the coral immediately. It happens under the cover of night when the boom, boom of the bombs can be heard from the shore. The explosions kill the fish, which are collected and sold to the restaurant and market trade. The coral is destroyed. Fishermen have been known to get violent when cornered and the marine police are armed. One police officer, Ahmad Colleag, recently came under attack from a group of angry fishermen. "When we tried to arrest them, the fishermen threw their bombs at us," he said. "It was very dangerous." WHO CARES ABOUT THE FIRKIN REEFS? THESE GUYS THROW BOMBS AT PEOPLE!

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