Posted on 11/13/2005 8:42:36 AM PST by Pikamax
FIVE JOKES
November 13, 2005
We turn to France, whose decision to stay out of the Iraq war is starting to make more sense. After all, why go all the way to the Mideast when you can fight Muslims in your very own suburbs?
— JON STEWART
The streets of the suburb of Clichy-sous-Bois have been filled with angry, mostly unemployed Arab and African immigrants setting fire to hundreds of cars. Their message: We're mad as hell, and we're not going to let you park here anymore.
— STEWART
Night after night of rioting and looting and burning cars, but don't worry because the French government is working around the clock to figure out a way to blame it on us.
— DAVID LETTERMAN
The riots in France have been through their second week. No signs of slowing. Now first of all, let me congratulate the French on whatever sporting event they apparently won.
— STEPHEN COLBERT
The situation is really bad — today Chirac announced that the French are pulling out of France.
— JAY LENO
(Excerpt) Read more at latimes.com ...
"We turn to France, whose decision to stay out of the Iraq war is starting to make more sense. After all, why go all the way to the Mideast when you can fight Muslims in your very own suburbs?" — JON STEWART
The WH needs to remember that a significant majority of those polled get their "news" from Late Night Comedy. Stewart "gets it". How about more of the same?
LOL!! Leno's is the best...
Stewart DOES NOT get it, he's a flaming liberal ignoramus who only said it for laughs. He's anti-military and anti-Bush to the core, don't be fooled.
Locally called Clichy-sur-Jungle.
Translation : "Need to stop immigration" (x3) "The problem of immigration is fixed"
I agree with you. The only way Stewart and his ilk will get it is when the battle comes to their neihborhood AND they are personally affected. Anything less than that and it the same old liberal tripe from that group.
The joke is on the French. They let all these foreigners in, and now they are PAYING BIG.
Oops, that sounds just like the USA!!! Open borders all the way --- hmmmm, a sign of the future?
SNL had a pretty good skit during their Weekend Update segment where two Interior Ministry officials got onto live TV and officially surrendered. Then a bunch of little kids starting beating them with loaves of french bread.
Q: Why do French men have moustaches?
A: To remind them of their mothers.
Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German army as they entered the city in World War II?
A: "Table for 100,000 Messieurs?"
Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Chirac. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.
Q: How do you say: "Give me liberty or give me death" in French?
A: I give up.
Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad?
A: A salesman.
Q: What do you get when a grenade is thrown into a French kitchen?
A: Linoleum Blownapart.
Q: Why do French naval ships have glass bottoms?
A: To see all their other ships.
Q: Where is the best place to hide your money?
A: Under a Frenchman's soap.
Welcome to FR
Just bought a bumber sticker on line:
"My honor student beat up France."
My husband just said the rioting is still going on because the French can't find anyone to surrender to.
Well duh. It's a freakin' comedy show. And you call him the ignoramus.
Do you read the entire thread or just respond to post out of context?
Nice. Where did these cartoons come from?
I kind of like "Paristine."
Here are some more ideas:
Insults and Insulting Quotes about France
****************************************
How can one conceive of a one party system in a country that has over 200 varieties of cheeses? - Charles de Gaulle
A small acquaintance with history shows that all governments are selfish, and the French governments more selfish than most - Lord Eccles
France was long a despotism tempered by epigrams. - Thomas Carlyle
It took no more effort than casting a Frenchman into Hell - Dutch saying
Attila, the scourge of God, the French, his brothers - Italian saying
France is a country where the money falls apart in your hands and you can't tear the toilet paper - Billy Wilder
The French write other than they speak, and speak other than they mean
- German saying
The friendship of the French is like their wine, exquisite, but of short duration
- German saying
Paris is like a whore, from a distance she seems ravishing, you can't wait until you have her in your arms. Five minutes later you feel empty, disgusted with yourself. You feel tricked. - Henry Miller
May the French ulcer love you and the Lord hate you. - Arabian curse
They are a short, blue-vested people who carry their own onions when cycling abroad, and have a yard which is 3.37 inches longer than other people's.
- Alan Coren, British humorist
He lies like a French bulletin. - Dutch saying
When the Frenchman sleeps, the devil rocks him. - French saying (?!)
Only a dog or a Frenchman walks after he has eaten. - French saying
To speak French means not to have any sense. - French colonial saying
French pox and a leather vest wear for life. - German saying
They [the French] do everything; they know nothing. - Italian saying
The French don't say what they mean; don't read as they write, and don't sing according to the notes. - Italian saying
Have the Frenchman for thy friend; not for thy neighbour.
- Nicephorus I, Byzantine emperor
The ignorance of French society gives one a rough sense of the infinite.
- Joseph E. Renan, French philologist, religious writer and historian
A fighting Frenchman runs away from even a she-goat. - Russian saying
The Frenchman's legs are thin, his soul little; he's fickle as the wind. - Russian saying
The Italians are wise before the act, the Germans in the act, the French after the act.
- Saying
France is a dog-hole.
- William Shakespeare, English playwright and poet, All's Well That Ends Well, c.1603
PAUL BOURGET: Life can never be entirely dull to an American. When he has nothing else to do he can always spend a few years trying to discover who his grandfather was.
TWAIN: Right, your Excellency. But I reckon a Frenchman's got a little standby for a dull time too; he can turn in and see if he can find out who his father was.
- Mark Twain, US writer
I do not dislike the French from the vulgar antipathy between neighbouring nations, but for their insolent and unfounded airs of superiority.
- Horace Walpole, British letter-writer and memoirist
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