Skip to comments.Together in Death: Funeral of Parents Murdered by Daughter's Boyfriend
Posted on 11/20/2005 2:10:53 PM PST by Dr. Scarpetta
The funeral service was led by elders from Monterey Chapel in Leola, where the Bordens worshipped and where Mike Borden was an elder and Sunday school teacher.
None of the five children spoke during the service. They appeared drawn but composed, even near the end of two hours of greeting mourners.
The deaths of Mike and Cathy Borden were a tragedy.
But, Rex Trogden said Saturday, Id like to introduce you to the word triumph.
A hard word to speak when standing on a stage behind two closed caskets, with five orphaned children in the front row, yet one, the Bordens friends said at their funeral service, that is integral to their lives and their faith.
They risked their lives together, Trogden, a pastor who knew the Bordens in Charlotte, N.C., said. Mike and Cathy were willing not only to risk their lives but to lay down their lives.
And they did so ... together.
Before a gathering of at least 500 in Lancaster Bible Colleges Good Shepherd Chapel, the Bordens, who were shot to death last Sunday, were memorialized in a funeral service with a strongly evangelistic tone.
That was intentional, Trogden said: The Bordens children knew their parents would want the gospel message to be proclaimed.
David Ludwig, the 18-year-old boyfriend of the Bordens 14-year-old daughter Kara, has been charged with the killings at the familys Warwick Township home.
Kara Borden, wearing a light-colored sweater, sat with her four siblings during the funeral.
Afterward, the children and other family members attended a graveside service at Landis Valley Mennonite Cemetery.
Trogden referred to the funeral as a homegoing to be with the Lord.
They loved you so much, he said, speaking to the Borden children, and cared for you so well, and prayed for you.
Echoes of tragedy
Television cameras and still photographers were barred from the LBC campus Saturday, although reporters without cameras were permitted to attend; the funeral was open to the public.
Cameramen were sent to a media area at the far end of the Manheim Township campus.
One person who attended a Wednesday service for the Bordens at Monterey Chapel said friends had noted that the oldest son, James, was bringing his girlfriend home for Thanksgiving to meet his parents, and the second son, Justin, had recently returned from serving in Iraq.
The other two children, Katelyn, 15, and David, 11, were at home last Sunday morning when, according to police, David Ludwig pulled out a .40-caliber handgun and shot first Mike Borden and then Cathy.
Police have said Ludwig was summoned to the house after the Bordens discovered he had brought Kara home after what they thought was a sleepover at a friends house. The parents apparently disapproved of the relationship, at least partly because of the age difference.
Ludwig is charged with abducting Kara after the shootings, triggering the issuance of an Amber Alert. The two were finally caught in Indiana after Ludwig crashed his Volkswagen Jetta into a tree during a police pursuit.
Saturday, the funeral included only fleeting references to the tragedy.
I see the compassion of Mike and Cathy in Kara, said Bill Bradford, who delivered the message. Kara was able to reach out to touch some of the most unlovely people.
Focus on triumph
Instead, the Bordens friends talked about Mike and Cathy.
Trogden compared them to Aquila and Priscilla, a husband and wife mentioned in the New Testament. Three times theyre listed as Aquila and Priscilla and three times as Priscilla and Aquila.
Equal billing, Trogden said. Its that way, isnt it? The two of them were together in everything.
Mike was a bit of a perfectionist, said Bradford. He wouldnt preach a sermon until every I was dotted and every T was crossed.
Cathy had the same perfectionist streak, Bradford said.
Both were mighty warriors of prayer: If you were in Mike Bordens Palm Pilot, you were prayed for.
Mrs. Borden had a twin, Cindy. Bookends, Bradford said.
And, because they both spoke with Southern accents, stereo bookends.
Mike had a wonderfully dry sense of humor, Trogden said. One Christmas, Cathy wanted the biggest tree they could find to best display all the family ornaments. But the tree was so big that it had to be trimmed before it would fit into the house.
For Christmas, Mike gave Cathy a crystal snowman with an inscription: Room for one more ornament.
Mike Borden was vice president and general manager of the Digital Publishing Services Division of Cadmus Communications in Ephrata. Cathy Borden was a homemaker who home-schooled the three youngest children.
They dated in high school in Hannibal, Mo. Cathy earned a bachelors degree in special education and Mike an associates degree in graphic design, both from Northeast Missouri State University. They were married in 1977.
Both were 50 when they died.
Cathy Borden had been attending weekly Change of Pace Bible studies at Lancaster Alliance Church, sponsored by Friendship Foundation, since the family moved to Lancaster in 1996.
Dona Fisher, head of Friendship Foundation, said Thursday that Mrs. Borden was just a joy. When she walked in, she was just so happy.
The group offers a program for homeschoolers, so the three children accompanied their mother. Change of Pace participants told Fisher that Kara was so much fun. The kids just loved her.
Michael Borden was a spiritual leader in his home, Fisher said: He confronted evil.
... Its a real loss for us.
Not the end
Most importantly, the Bordens friends said, both of them loved Jesus.
One Bible verse printed in Saturdays program, As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, from the book of Joshua, was taken from a plaque in the Bordens home.
The Bordens went with Bradford to see The Passion of the Christ at the theater two years ago. We all shared the same hanky, Bradford remembered. Afterward, Cathy said, It never dawned on me how much somebody was willing to do on my behalf.
Its difficult for us to say goodbye, Bradford said in his benediction. It should be easy to look forward to a time when we can say, Welcome home.
He quoted Matthew 5:4, Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted, and John 16:22, Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.
This, Rex Trogden said, is not the end.
And they did so ... together.
They loved you so much, he said, speaking to the Borden children, and cared for you so well, and prayed for you.
Kara was able to reach out to touch some of the most unlovely people.
I don't know. The statement is baffling.
Seems to me she definitely reached out to the very wrong person.
It is baffling. Also, I was struck by the fact that the kids were so "composed."
God be with them.
Probably still in shock.
Very moving story. Prayers for the children and family and friends of this couple.
Both of my parents passed away within 4 years of each other, and their desire was that the gospel be preeminent at each of their funerals. Both funerals were very touching and moving, and as the children, we drew tremendous strength from them.
It may well break the family apart, unless grandparents, aunts and uncles are strong and loving people.
I think it's called shock...but maybe they were just really, really strict parents....I think the girl went willingly.
I'm thinking she did too. Hope I'm wrong.
I hate to be judgmental but looking at Kara's pictures she looks to me to be the type that could be TROUBLE as in 14 going on 24.
I went out with a girl like that one time, it was like taking a drug.
Good way to put it. I felt like that about my H.S. boyfriend. Addicted.
In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.
It's amazing how dramatic those teen episodes seemed so important to us at the time. Looking back, I can only shake my head at the drama.
I just slammed doors. Our doors were metal so the whole house would shake. My mom still brings that up......
I was a door slammer also and whenever I felt slighted I went to my room and stayed there.
I hear about it all the time too.
My kids on the other hand still like to get the last word in. I think I would prefer them slamming their bedroom doors and being quiet after doing so. LOL
....I believe the other children will blame the Kara once reality sets in.
I've been thinking that very same thing the last few days.
Your post #23 is exactly correct...when I look back on my teen years, I realize how much trouble I was to my parents...I guess I was 'boy crazy'...my dad was always hauling me into the house, and giving me a lecture as to why such and such a boy, was not welcome in our house, and not welcome to date me...Oh, I would get so mad, and just thought I was going to 'die'...I would get real dramatic, so much so, that my dad used to call me 'Sara Bernhardt', all the time...
But I got over my angst, as most teen-agers do...and I did not 'die', as I thought, but actually realized that my parents were doing what they believed was in my best interest, and most often, they were right...I had picked a 'bad boy', to go out with, I did not see that, my parents did, my parents put a stop to it, and I went on...
The thought of either me or my 'boyfriend', ever shooting my parents to death, just never would have entered our minds...
Thankfully, most teens during my time, my childrens time, and the teens of today, do not become so violent...teenaged angst, is just a part of growing up....its an experience that one can look at in retrospect and realize how silly we seemed at the time...unfortunately, in this current situation, this young man just did not handle his situation correctly, for whatever reason...
Our prayers should be with these children that have been orphaned and have suffered such an incredible loss...
She bears some responsibility and blame for her parents' murder. She brought the wolf to their door with her sin.
Doorslamming must be a girl thing. I think it takes many decades for the mellowing to set in.
My prayers continue for the family and friends of Mike and Cathy Borden. God's comfort for their loss.
If you want on/off my prayer ping list, please let me know. All requests happily honored.
When she finally matures, it will be hell to live with what happened.
I am now known to throw things on occasion. Several dents in our walls when super angry.
Just read your posts. My situation with my mother was similar. The boy I finally did decide to date seriously and then marry was someone my mom warned to stay away from me. I am glad he didn't listen. I wasnt even a bad kid but he was just such a good boy.
Sadly she passed away 2 years before we married but she did get to see how we adored one another and it makes me very happy that she knew him so well.
I heard that they were so composed a tiny personal package of kleenex could have been passed around, and still have some left.
I don't get it..
She was involved in being defiant which led to the slaughter of her parents. I just cant blame her for the slaughter with the knowledge we currently have.
I remember fondy the time my dad came out to the driveway to get me out of the car where I was sitting with my date. May he rest in peace.
If she went willingly why didn't she stay in the car when the killer went in for the food? Together they were more apt to be noticed.
Just a thought...
My prayers are with the Borden children this evening, and with all who mourn for this couple that was so brutally slain, that the Lord will bring them comfort and strength.
Sometimes parents can be wrong...which seems to be the case with you and your husband...and then sometimes the parents were right, which in my case, was true...I was trying to date really 'bad boys'...they just attacted me for some reason...the sweet, good boys just did nothing for me...all I know is, ,my parents had their hands full with me...I was a real stinker and a real worry to them for a few years...but as I aged, even just a few years, I realized that they were right and I was wrong, and thank goodness, they did not let me have my way, when they thought it was not in my best interest...
I am glad tho, ,that your mom got to see you and your husband before you married, and I am sure it relieved her mind, to see you both so happy...
You would have expected some crying from those kids. One thing for sure, their lives will change. They had a nice house, but that will get sold.
I'm not buying this for a minute.
From past stories like this, an 18 yr old boy would have likely just wanted to run off with her.
When it gets this nuts, the girl instigates it.
That's how I'd bet. I think the evidence will confirm it.
The boy is going to do 25-Life, and the girl gets a pass.
My dad also, has gone on to be with the Lord, and I sure do miss him...he was a fine man, who adored his children, and tried to make sure that we grew up well taken care of and well protected...and dad made sure that protecting me, meant carefully screening any date or boyfriend I had...
I remember one time, when one of my current boyfriends came to the house, rang the bell, and I scurried to run down the stairs and answer the door...dad stopped me dead in my tracks, and said he would handle things...he went down the stairs, had a few words with my boyfriend, and that was the last time I ever did see that boyfriend...to this day, I do not know what my dad said to him, but it was enough to keep this boy away from me...
Thanks goodness for the protection of loving dads...
Thanks for the ping. I was glad to read the account of their memorial service.
I wonder if they were freepers. Has anyone noticed someone missing?
hmmmmm good question!
I remember those days well. Studies have shown that we live longer if we try to "chill."
Except that David Ludwig had made a video planning to murder people with his friend.
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