Posted on 11/24/2005 4:36:02 AM PST by Dog
Turkeys Away Johnny: Gripping music, huh? Mr Carlson: Yeah, that's good all right. What's the name of that orchestra? Johnny: Pink Floyd. Mr Carlson: Oooh, is that Pink Floyd? Do I hear dogs barking on that thing? Johnny: I do. Mr Carlson: What's really going on, Travis? Andy: Nothing! Mr Carlson: Well, I don't like it. It's too quiet. Andy: D'you think the Indians are gonna attack?
Andy: You are the boss. You're the boss! And you do, uh, boss stuff. Mr Carlson: Such as? Andy: Well, you, uh, uh - well, then again you, uh - well, let me put it this way. Just knowing that you're in here, Boss, uh Boss, knowing that you're at the helm, gives us a lot of confidence. Mr Carlson: Ah. That's not good enough. I sit in here all day, at the helm as you say, but I never get to steer the ship!
Mr Carlson: All it's gonna take is your complete co-operation, absolute secrecy, and twenty live turkeys.
Herb: When that farmer asked me what I wanted with twenty live turkeys, I had to do some pretty fast talking, let me tell you. Les: What did you tell him? Herb: I told him it was a secret.
Mr Carlson: At this particular point in time, I'd like to dictate a press release. Jennifer: I don't take dictation. Mr Carlson: What? All right, I guess I can do this thing myself. It's probably going to be a long meeting, so why don't you get coffee for all the guys here. Jennifer: I don't get coffee, Mr Carlson, we agreed. Mr Carlson: Oh, yeah. Jennifer: You have to draw the line somewhere. Will there be anything else I can do? Mr Carlson: No, I think that about does it. Jennifer: Thank you. Mr Carlson: Oh no, thank you. Les: How does she get away with that? Herb: Are you kidding?
Les: It's a helicopter, and it's coming this way. It's flying something behind it, I can't quite make it out, it's a large banner and it says, uh - Happy... Thaaaaanksss... giving! ... From... W.... ... K... ... R... ... P!!
Les: No parachutes yet. Can't be skydivers... I can't tell just yet what they are, but - Oh my God, Johnny, they're turkeys!! Johnny, can you get this? Oh, they're plunging to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! Oh, the humanity! The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! Not since the Hindenberg tragedy has there been anything like this!
Johnny: Les? Are you there? Les isn't there. (composing himself) Thanks for that on-the-spot report, Les, and for those of you who just tuned in, the Pinedale Shopping Mall has just been bombed with live turkeys. Film at eleven.
Jennifer: But Mr Colly, a lot of turkeys don't make it through Thanksgiving!
Venus: Les! Are you okay? Les: I don't know. A man and his two children tried to kill me. After the turkeys hit the pavement, the crowd kind of scattered, but some of them tried to attack me! I had to jam myself into a phone booth! Then Mr Carlson had the helicopter land in the middle of the parking lot. I guess he thought he could save the day by turning the rest of the turkeys loose. It gets pretty strange after that. Andy: Les, c'mon now, tell us the rest. Les: I really don't know how to describe it. It was like the turkeys mounted a counterattack! It was almost as if they were ...organized!! Mr Carlson: As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
One of the greatest comdey moments on TV...
ComEdy....I know how to spell.
I used to watch this show and this was one of the funniest episodes I have ever seen....the transcript doesn't do it justice..
It didn't format right..
ROTFLMAO. Thanks for bringing back the memories on this one.
Happy Thanksgiving, and thanks for reminding me of this classic!
No, no, no......I meant you had to see the facial expressions on the whole cast.......Happy Thanksgiving, Dog...
Great effort Dog..... thanks and Happy Thanksgiving.
thanks for the link to the audio, I just played it fro my ten year old son!
And one of the greatest shows ever on TV . . . unfortunately, they don't even show it in syndication anymore where I can see it.
http://radio.about.com/library/weekly/aa112002a.htm
Based On Reality
Oddly enough, this famous WKRP episode was loosely based on a real event! Back in 1946 (some sources say 1945), Yellville, Arkansas inaugurated the “Turkey Trot Festival” which included a wild turkey calling contest, a turkey target shoot, a Miss Drumsticks Pageant and oh yeah: a live turkey release from the roof of the courthouse. After a few years, someone thought it might be fun to actually toss the poor gobblers out of a low-flying airplane for the event. This repeated for a number of years until 1989 when a national animal-rights protest cast the event in a bad light and the "National Enquirer" splashed a photo of the event across the nation forcing promoters to abandon the turkey drop.
Sometimes, real life is funnier - or plain stranger - than anything you can make up.
- Corey Deitz
Thanks! I remember almost not surviving the original broadcast due to extreme laughter!!
IMHO, the funniest line in sitcom history.
Me too. Bailey was a hottie.
Happy T Day Dog. Eat well...
Great episode! Thanks! '...sack of wet cement'...reminds me of Kerry.
When Carlson told Andy he thought turkeys could fly, I literaly couldn't breath for 30 seconds I was laughing so hard. It is true, you CAN laugh so hard you think you're going to die.
for this.
Just reinforcing that Liberalism is a mental disorder.
I had the distinct pleasure to meet Gordon Jump once when he was doing his schtick as the Maytag Repair Man. A nicer, funnier man never lived.
I only wish that someone would air the video of this....absolutely one of the funniest moments of holiday programming!!!!
Rest in peace, Mr. Carlson, and watch out for the falling turkeys.
I remember it well.
This is the funniest thing ever said on television.
(#2 is "This is an ex-parrot")
IIRC, they never showed the turkeys, just the audio, and the expression on Les's face.
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