[coloradan]

I will add to this excellent tutorial:

23. Combination wrench: A long metallic device used to check the short circuit current of a car battery.

[Lx]

Ping for later.

[AngryJawa]

1 1/4" putty knife: used to peel 3" long bloody strips of skin off the insides of left index finger in a manner reminicient of peeling a carrot.

I play with potentially dangerous woodworking equipment every day, yet it's the putty knife that has repeatedly drawn the most blood.

[TChris]

Thanks! Great laughs. :-)

[BureaucratusMaximus]

Hole saw: A seldomly used device for making perfect circles on any surface...used primarily when a hammer and phillips screwdriver cannot be found.

[ovrtaxt]

STEEL FENCE POST TAMP:

6'long, sharpened steel rod used to shatter irrigation lines and locate buried electrical cable.

[xsrdx]

Frickin Hilarious. Thanks.

[bmwcyle]

Does your wife hide the tools?

[Redcloak]

24. Socket Wrench with Extension Bars: A tool for rounding off bolt heads and nuts in hard-to-reach places. May be used with a ratchet drive that doubles as a hammer. (See Irish Micrometer.)

[azhenfud]

24: Adjustable wrench: combination bolt and nut rounder and hammer substitute

[dljordan]

All of them, intimately.

[Petronski]

HAMMER:OR "IRISH MICROMETER"

LOL

[MarkL]

How about:

Metal Lathe: Tool that strips pretty coils of metal off a piece of bar stock that slices the pads off of your thumbs and finger tips.

Or:

File Handle: The piece of wood, plastic, or metal that goes on the end of a file that keeps it (the file) from being driven into your arm when one of the mandrels holding the bar stock on the lathe hits it. See also Mandrell.

Mandrell: A piece of metal designed to drive a file its entire lenth into your arm when it hits the end of the file, and you've forgotten to put a file handle on the file. Also used to hold the bar stock on the lathe.

Vice: Used to grasp the end of the file that's sticking out of your forearm after having been driven into your arm by a mandrell on a lathe. Once held securely by the vice, you simply pull your arm off of the file.

BTW, I know a guy to whom both of these have happened.

Mark

[MarkL]

22. WIRE STRIPPER: A tool designed to cut through the wire core, leaving it 1/2 inch too short (see hose cutter)!

This results in the ever popular quote, "No matter how much I cut off, it's still too short!"

Mark

[MarkL]

7. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for setting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.

There's a reason that welder clothing is made out of leather. It's nearly impossible to set on fire... I can't remember how many pairs of jeans I set to smoldering, and in one case, really on fire, with flames and everything, using an oxyacetylene cutting torch.

Mark

[Sarcastic1]

My dad was in the Air Force, he was the navigator for B1 they had 1000 gallon tanks of water on board they would mist the engines and it would give them more trust. Anyway when it got down to 37 degrees they had to drain the tanks; if they had a new copilot, they would tell him to check the ports and make sure they were clear, and they would dump about 1000 gallons on this copilot.

[tiki]

Handy Andy Bumper Jack - That huge all-purpose jack, the instructions should have just said "after tire is replaced, return to driver's seat, pull forward and return for jack." because I could never get it down.