Posted on 12/28/2005 11:39:51 AM PST by FerdieMurphy
Poor Fidel. It's not easy being a dictator these days, not when your sworn enemy has stolen your playbook and recast it as democracy.
How sad it must be to come up with all these creative governing principles -- listening in on private phone calls, reading personal mail, secretly video-taping protestors -- only to live long enough to see a third-rate intelligence like George W. Bush adopt them all as his own. It's enough to drive anyone nuts.
In a few days, Fidel will celebrate an important personal anniversary, and the whole world will look on in awe. Whatever your political leanings, you have to bow before the man who, in just 47 short years, went from savior to tyrant to crazy uncle.
''What's this? Are you becoming a pubic hair?'' Fidel sneered at an aide to Brazilian President Lula da Silva. ''What did I fall into, you faggot?'' he screamed in Spanish at a pair of jokester Miami radio deejays. Jeb Bush is ''fat''; Condoleezza Rice is ''mad.'' Even Fidel's inner circle must be wondering if he's become refreshingly candid or just seriously unmoored.
THE FALL
In Miami, we've become so fixated on the hated Unmentionable One that we're unable to appreciate all the nuance in the man. Neutral observers, on the other hand, can see that Fidel has quite effectively steered Cuba right into the Hallucinogenic Age.
Maybe it started with the fall. When Fidel picked himself off that stage back in October 2004, he immediately proclaimed: ''`Estoy entero,'' a curious statement that, like many in Cuban Spanish, can have more than one meaning. We can't be sure if Fidel meant: ''I'm in one piece'' or ''I'm unbearably sexy.'' Either way, it was an odd confession for a man who, by all outward appearances, is neither.
Things deteriorated from there. Who can forget the cooking show incident? There was Fidel on national television talking starch. Is rice A faster and tastier than rice B? Who cares? No one would dare tell him.
Then there are the speeches. The best of Fidel's performances have always carried an obvious Dadaist influence. But lately, his harangues have catapulted him and his increasingly alarmed listeners right into another dimension. Last month, he gave a speech at the University of Havana that might have been entitled: ``The Apocalypse According To Me.''
''So, a question remains in my mind,'' he said at the beginning of a lecture that touched on philosophy, theology and the origin and prospect of the species. ``A question that maybe you, or your professors, or hundreds of thousands of you have also asked yourselves, and that is if there is any possibility that this species can emigrate to another solar system.'' Hey, why not?
EMPTY PROMISE
''History will absolve me,'' Fidel once famously said. The promise was very much in keeping with the Cuban love of melodrama. But it was unfair to history, which in its advanced age now finds itself with so many to absolve and so little time.
Maybe he meant hilarity would absolve him. Nothing like humor to brighten the dank gulag of the mind. Not everyone buys the idea that Fidel is losing his sanity. Don't think of it, one prominent exile warned me. It's just another trick in his arsenal. This is a theory that has wide currency in conspiracy-soaked Miami, the idea that Fidel is not crazy, only faking. Bonkers? Or just pretending? I subscribe to neither theory.
I'll be the first to admit that I have certain unconventional views. But if you ask me, Fidel, approaching the 50th anniversary of our collective solitude, has decided to let his good friend Gabriel Garcia Marquez write the end of his story.
No bullet will do him in. No ordinary mortal's death awaits him. No, Fidel's tragic reign will end on a droll note, with the old man lifting up into the air in a great whirlwind as he screams: ``What did I fall into? Qué caí, en qué, hijo de p---? En que caí, mari---?'' A beautiful remedy, even if it does fall just short of the one dreamed up for the good Col. Aureliano Buendia.
Si.
Hmmmmm. An anti-communist leftist? This is a very strange animal...
How sad it must be to come up with all these creative governing principles -- listening in on private phone calls, reading personal mail, secretly video-taping protestors -- only to live long enough to see a third-rate intelligence like George W. Bush adopt them all as his own.
Only a liberal could equate someone protesting for freedom with a mole colaborating with al Queda. You just can't make this stuff up. Why is it that people think liberals hate America?
Owl_Eagle(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,
Almost all politicians make the same mistake.....they hang around years after they should have retired. In this instance, Castro is no different. Like so many before and undoubedly to come, Castro will become a laughingstock and will never know it as his "protectors" will continue to worship him and make him believe he's same.....kinda like Kennedy.
same=sane
How sad it must be to come up with all these creative governing principles -- listening in on private phone calls, reading personal mail, secretly video-taping protestors -- only to live long enough to see a third-rate intelligence like George W. Bush adopt them all as his own. It's enough to drive anyone nuts.''What's this? Are you becoming a pubic hair?'' Fidel sneered at an aide to Brazilian President Lula da Silva. ''What did I fall into, you faggot?'' he screamed in Spanish at a pair of jokester Miami radio deejays. Jeb Bush is ''fat''; Condoleezza Rice is ''mad.'' Even Fidel's inner circle must be wondering if he's become refreshingly candid or just seriously unmoored.
Sigh. In this journalist's view, George W. Bush has become Fidel Castro and Fidel Castro has become DNC head Howard Dean.
Cuban President Fidel Castro holds a light bulb while talking during a second session at the Cuban Parliament, in the Palace of Conventions, Friday, Dec. 23, 2005 in Havana, Cuba. The Cuban government announced it had turned a corner in its recovery from severe financial crisis, reporting 11.8 percent growth in 2005 using its own method for calculating gross domestic product. (AP Photo)
Now, that picture is just screaming for a "CAPTION THIS" topic!
You can stop reading here.
'Cause they do!
Nah. Leftists still believe in Marx. The inevitable failure is always blamed on poor leaders. (i.e. Socialism doesn't work in Cuba because Fidel is now crazy.)
caption for above 2 photos..
Cuban President Fidel Castro laughs while holding an industrial light bulb during the end-year session of the Cuban Parliament in Havana December 23, 2005. In an effort to save energy, the Cuban government has launched a program of replacing outdated electrical appliances in the homes of the population and changing current light bulbs to energy-saving ones. The light bulb Castro is holding was found in the home of a Cuban citizen, who used it to illuminate two rooms of his house, during an inspection. REUTERS/Claudia Daut
This article smacks of a columnist who had a deadline to meet, was devoid of ideas, and at the last moment came up with this trash.
The material is mostly generic and could've been written 40 years ago, or 20 or 10 or tomorrow.
I think the Miami Herald needs to hire better talent.
That looks like a HID lamp. Those things are under pressure and dangerous to handle. Too bad he didn't pound it on the podium.
I question Castro's sanity, and the author's as well. This is a disjointed piece of writing. Some funny bits among some weird, obscure comments.
Leftists (like this Miami Herald columnist) are indeed being driven nuts by the fact that the majority of Americans are finally beginning to see (most) Democrat politicians for what they are -- bitter, lying traitors who are rooting like hell for the U.S. to lose the WOT.
There are a few, or were. George Orwell, for example.
The liberal loonies become more disjointed every day. I hope they keep up the nonsense long enough to get blown out in 2006 and 2008, so we can enjoy a complete meltdown, with exploding heads and all. :o)
What do you mean better talent. She obvioulsy is smarter than a Yale undergrad, Harvard MBA who has managed to obtain the highest office in the land only held by 42 others in our nations history. This obvioulsy pales in comparison to attending J school and getting a job writing smarmy articleds in the local rag, don't you think.
You forgot the "BARF ALERT" in the title...
"A Cuban scientist invented this amazing device. It has multiple uses. Properly energized it gives relief from hemerroids(sp), can be used in place of expensive laxatives and can be used to sexually excite."
Can we get him to make his movie autobiography as produced by Woody Allen? Woody could use some of the scenes from his send up of Fidel, starting with the speech in which he announces that henceforth everyone will speak Swedish.
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