Posted on 01/04/2006 3:23:20 PM PST by Right Wing Assault
During the 90's, some lefty sociologist on the West Coast ruminated on the homoeroticism of NFL football. He compared the players on the field, and their "stances," to baboons displaying their genitals to their peers as a gesture of submission. What a hoot.
False Giant Puffball (Poison Goalpost Fungus) Note the cracked surface about to erupt, ejecting enough spores to victimize up to 22 people at once!
This mushroom is so deadly, merely inhaling the spores rearranges your brain's neural synapses, making you race endlessly back and forth across a field, stopping occasionally to jump up and down and cheer or curse insanely, never resting until death from exhaustion ensues.
Poisoning is so virulent, relatives of the victim, especially the parents, have been known to succumb as well!
You've obviously never seen a wrestling match.
Look, these are the sports:
Basketball
Baseball
Football (American)
Hockey (Even though Hockey is soccer on ice, I would call it a sport because people get their teeth knocked out and they beat the snot out of anyone who wrongs them. They are heterosexual soccer players who have the balls to slide around on ice)
Those are the only sports. Everything else is a game, past time, or hobby.
Except for soccer.
Soccer is a cry for help.
I bet you just love those tights American football players wear.
Tighter ofssides enforcement over the last couple of decades has taken what little interest soccer could generate. Clearly these folks never actually watched a soccer game. I can't recall a legitimate breakaway goal since World Cup in Mexico City, 1986.
The NBA players that end up on the US Olympic team are all prima dona's....who spend all their time showboating, and can't play on a team. That's why our basketball players will get beaten by a swedish TEAM at some point.
Go Seahawks!!!!
Just reduce the number of players from eleven to eight and throw out a lot of the goofy offsides rules. Soccer would then be interesting. Oh, and allow the ball to be batted with closed fists. I suspect I have a great chance of the world football (soccer) association implementing my suggestions. (/sarcasm)
I'm not a big fan of the tights, but they keep the pads in place. You know, the pads that protect you when some 300lb linebacker tries to knock you senseless.
I don't know if you've ever worn them, but there is a big 1" thick pad inside the tights that covers the crack of your ass (to protect your tailbone), so your gay fantasies would be almost impossible to accomlpish in a full football uniform.
Soccer on the other hand .....
Well, I think I know why some of them wear knee pads.
In any case, I was responding to a troll. Do any of the NFL threads ever have someone come on board and say "football is gay?" I'm curious. I find it difficult to imagine that anyone can be so confused about their sexuality to do that.
For a bit of irony, look at the ad directly above your post.
Most likely a soccer player ;-)
ROFLMAO!!!!!
Soccer = English football . i.e. the skill is to move the ball with the feet.
Why American football is so called baffles me.
Almost as exciting as English Rugby football
LOL
I thought the appeal was all those cute guys running around in shorts. :)
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