Always read the directions.
Posted on 01/06/2006 1:54:46 PM PST by Redcitizen
DETROIT - A warning that consumers shouldn't use a heat gun that produces temperatures of 1,000 degrees as a hairdryer has won an anti-lawsuit group's award for the wackiest label of the year.
The Wacky Warning Label Contest, in its ninth year, is conducted by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch as part of an effort to show the effects of lawsuits on warning labels.
"When judges see it as their job to dismiss cases that are rooted in frivolous theories, we'll see fewer wacky labels and more fairness in the courts," said Robert B. Dorigo Jones, the group's president.
The $500 first prize went to Tom Brunelle of Holland, who spotted the heat gun warning.
The $250 second prize award went to Jam Sardar of Grand Rapids for a label on a kitchen knife that warns: "Never try to catch a falling knife."
Third prize of $100 went to Alice Morgan of La Junta, Colo. She found a cocktail napkin with a map of the waterways around Hilton Head Island, S.C., printed on it that cautioned: "Not to be used for navigation."
An honorable mention went to Kirk Dunham of Seabrook, Texas. He found this warning on a bottle of dried bobcat urine used to keep pests away from garden plants: "Not for human consumption."
Not to mention the risk of damage to the keyboard.
Always read the directions.
Yes the G,W,B keys are particularly at risk.
I wish I'd known of this. Bought some of those sticks that you can throw in the pool for your kids to dive down and bring up as a game (they sink to the bottom at different rates). Label: "Not to be used as a flotation device."
Good Lord...that looks like a patent diagram. WTF?
Anyway, it was about 6” paring knife with carbon steel blade, hardwood handle, two brass rivets, and *lifetime* warranty – all for $1.19.
I remember why I saved it. It’s because Japan isn’t really flush with natural resources and somehow they can import (I’m guessing) steel, wood, and brass, manufacture and assemble a knife, package it, ship it all the way to the U.S., provide a *lifetime* warranty – and all for $1.19.
It’s almost unbelievable. Even when the knife is finished it still has to undergo an unbelievable amount of arm-waving before it gets into your hand. Package it, put it in cases, put it on a pallet, load them in a container, ship the container, unload the container, truck it to some distribution center, distribute it to the stores, unpack it, stock it – on and on.
Amazing. And someone somewhere is making what they consider to be good money doing it... and now you have to factor in the stupid people that might choose your product.
"WARNING: Ask a doctor before use if you have difficulty in urination due to enlargement of the prostate gland"
This warning was on some sort of child-proof cap. I wish I could remember what it was on, but it said: "Please squeeze sides together while screwing backwards".
probably because some guys have used that product as aspirin would be my guess.
My "favorite" wacky warning is the infamous "California Proposition 65 warning":
http://blogging.la/archives/prop65_030905.jpg
These signs are now so ubiquitous that they've become completely meaningless. They're on entry gates, mailboxes, literally everywhere ... they might as well just post signs that say "Life causes cancer" and be done with it.
I got a kick out of my children's chewable motrin, which among other warnings, said my kids should not drive while using the drugs, and that I should keep the pills out of the reach of my children.
I tied their hands behind them, and took away their car keys, before administering the drugs.
I decided to ignore the warning not to take the medication if they were breast feeding, since they stopped doing that years ago. :-)
Another favorite of mine is the q-tip warning not to insert in the ear canal. I mean, what else are you supposed to to with a q-tip?
The warning I think should appear on bottle rocket: Warning, could land on neighbor's roof, leading to fire, sore buttocks, and periods of in-house incarceration....
Wow. I need to buy one of those.
Here in New Mexico, I get Products that refer to Prop 65. I consider that a risk that stops at the California borders.
I do a lot of christmas lights, and some new sets I bought had separate sets of "warnings", "notes", and "cautions". I'm not supposed to use near flammable liquids, or install under water, or cover the lights, nor should I attempt to re-wire the plugs to defeat the polarization.
I'm also not supposed to install them where people will walk on them, and if I live in California I'm supposed to wash my hands after touching the lights because of lead.
CC
I haven't seen the genitals part (!!!), but I believe Husqvarna actually won a court case because they put that warning about not stopping the chain with your hands in the manual.
ROFL :)
I like the Christmas lights that say "for indoor or outdoor use only". Totally screwed up my plan to hang them in the door jamb.
That brings a whole new meaning to pleasure toys.
"Vote for me." (As spoken by Ted Kennedy.)
Your "Figure 1" diagram pic reminds me of the "Al (The Photographer)Gore cleaning his M-1" pic.
A little off topic, but some of the "Winners of Product Liability Lawsuits" are just about as astounding, like the 2 mil for the Mc D's hot coffee spill.
The one I read that flabbergasted me was a qualifier in the "Hold my beer...." catagory.
Two guys doing some yard work, without any hedge clippers, tried to use their gasoline powered mower to do the job, with some fairly nasty physical results.
They sued the manufacturer and WON the case in court.
There were NO STICKER INSTRUCTIONS telling them NOT to trim hedges with the lawn mower, and the jury awarded them
the case.....
"I created the Internet"--Al Gore
Now there's a warning label.
The fact that they created the oh-so-specific-warning leads me to believe that very situation must've happened at some point in the past (no doubt resulting in a lawsuit).
"Here ya go, help me stop this thing."
And I wasn't referring to the "hands," either ;-)
Yes, but you can only enjoy it ONCE
CC
Just once in one of these publicized damages trials I would love to see the counsel for the corporation Stand up and say "your honor I request that this be dismissed on the grounds that the complaintant is a moron. " Probably never happen, but it's funny to think about.
CC
I've seen this several times:
"FOOD-GRADE SILICA GEL--DO NOT EAT"
Indeed :)
You're all missing the point. How do they get all that bobcat urine?
And not all those who are lost, wander.
Ghost of Philip Marlowe
The term for people who need those instructions: wuss.
They must have gotten into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking.
at a bobcat farm--it's fresher that way for the discerning buyer. :)
Talk about natural selection ...
~Lorena Bobbit
Quite :)
Yes, but you're "manWITHthehands" ... the man in this case was probably known as "ManSANSHands" ... at least after he interacted with the chainsaw ;-)
Or sans something(s) else, if the warning label is to be believed!
"Fresh" dried bobcat urine? Hmmmmm...
Hey, TG. Haven't seen ya in a great long while. How ya bean?
ManSansHands.
(chortle)
Good one! :-)
Why, thank you :) I do my best :)
Kirby vaccum cleaners had some lawsuits from not putting warning labels of not to put body parts in the hose.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
