Posted on 01/08/2006 7:28:48 AM PST by Willie Green
For education and discussion only. Not for commercial use.
The Wall Street Journal finally has shed light on a mystery that haunted Washington for months: Why did the White House fire longtime head chef Walter Scheib?
Blame it on the bivalve. A source in the East Wing told the Journal that Scheib displayed a certain arrogance in repeatedly serving scallops to Bush.
Bush hates scallops, it seems, and Scheib was shown the door in August after 11 years on the job cooking for presidents, princes, prime ministers and movie stars.
Scheib last week said in the New York Daily News that he never got a request to take scallops off the menu.
If there had been, "I can assure you there never would have been a scallop in the building," he told the paper.
Close observation and a sampling of cuisine on Air Force One indicate new chef Cristeta Comerford should keep the kitchen stocked with barbecue, Tex-Mex, cheese curls and bologna sandwiches.
When asked for a comment, he clammed up.
I personally don't care for "bait" but if somebody wants food and you are getting paid to make it then make them what they want.
Exactly what he gets for being a smart ass.
L
So there was a RAT in the kitchen? Isn't that the first place you change staff in a new GOP administration after a Democrat administration? Duh?
Translation: Bush is a hick who can't appreciate good food.
He's steamed.
You done good!
Apparently, Bush doesn't sea food the same way the rest of us do...
"Whaduhya mean, you don want no stinkin scallops"?
Just think what would have happened to the guy if he had fixed something Hillary didn't like...
Mrs. Jalin: George.
Mr. Jalin: Yes, Gladys.
Mrs. Jalin: There's a man at the door with a moustache.
Mr. Jalin: Tell him I've already got one. (Mrs. Jalin hits him hard with a newspaper) All right, all right. What's he want then?
Mrs. Jalin: He says do we want a documentary on mollusks.
Mr. Jalin: Mollusks?!
Mrs. Jalin: Yes.
Mr. Jalin: What's he mean, mollusks?
Mrs. Jalin: MOLLUSCS!! GASTROPODS! LAMELLIBRANCHS! CEPHALOPODS!
Mr. Jalin: Oh mollusks, I thought you said bacon. (she hits him again) All right, all right. What's he charge then?
Mrs. Jalin: It's free.
Mr. Jalin: Ooh! Where does he want us to sit?
Mrs. Jalin: (calling through the door) He says yes.
Mr. Zorba enters carrying plywood flat with portion cut out to represent TV. He stands behind flat and starts.
Zorba: Good evening. Tonight mollusks. The mollusk is a soft-bodied, unsegmented invertebrate animal usually protected by a large shell. One of the most numerous groups of invertebrates, it is exceeded in number of species only by the arthropods ... viz. (he holds up a lobster)
Mrs. Jalin: Not very interesting is it?
Zorba: What?
Mrs. Jalin: I was talking to him.
Zorba: Oh. Anyway, the typical mollusk, viz, a snail (holds one up) consists of a prominent muscular portion... the head-foot... a visceral mass and a shell which is secreted by the free edge of the mantle.
Mrs. Jalin: Dreadful isn't it?
Zorba: What?
Mrs. Jalin: I was talking to him.
Zorba: Oh. Well anyway... in some mollusks, however, viz, slugs, (holds one up) the shell is absent or rudimentary...
Mr. Jalin: Switch him off.
Mrs. Jalin: gets up and looks for the switch unsuccessfully.
Zorba: Whereas in others, viz, cephalopods the head-foot is greatly modified and forms tentacles, viz, the squid. (looking out) What are you doing?
Mrs. Jalin: Switching you off.
Zorba: Why, don't you like it?
Mrs. Jalin: Oh it's dreadful.
Mr. Jalin: Embarrassing.
Zorba: Is it?
Mrs. Jalin: Yes, it's perfectly awful.
Mr. Jalin: Disgraceful! I don't know how they've got the nerve to put it on.
Mrs. Jalin: It's so boring.
Zorba: Well ... it's not much of a subject is it... be fair.
Mrs. Jalin: What do you think, George?
Mr. Jalin: Give him another twenty seconds.
Zorba: Anyway the majority of the mollusks are included in three large groups, the gastropods, the lamellibranches and the cephalopods...
Mrs. Jalin: We knew that (she gets up and goes to the set)
Zorba: However, what is more interesting, err ... is the mollusk’s err ... sex life.
Mrs. Jalin: (stopping dead) Oh!
Zorba: Yes, the mollusk is a randy little fellow whose primitive brain scarcely strays from the subject of the you know what.
Mrs. Jalin: (going back to sofa) Disgusting!
Mr. Jalin: Ought not to be allowed.
Zorba: The randiest of the gastropods is the limpet. This hot-blooded little beast with its tent-like shell is always on the job. Its extra-marital activities are something startling. Frankly I don't know how the female limpet finds the time to adhere to the rock-face. How am I doing?
Mrs. Jalin: Disgusting.
Mr. Jalin: But more interesting.
Mrs. Jalin: Oh yes, tch, tch, tch.
Zorba: Another loose-living gastropod is the periwinkle. This shameless little libertine with its characteristic ventral locomotion ... is not the marrying kind: 'Anywhere anytime' is its motto. Up with the shell and they're at it.
Mrs. Jalin: How about the lamellibranches?
Zorba: I'm coming to them ... the great scallop (holds one up) ... this tatty, scrofulous old rapist, is second in depravity only to the common clam. (holds up a clam) This latter is a right whore, a harlot, a trollop, a cynical bed-hopping firm-breasted Rabelaisian bit of sea food that makes Fanny Hill look like a dead Pope... and finally among the lamellibranche bivalves, that most depraved of the whole sub-species - the whelk. The whelk is nothing but a homosexual of the worst kind. This gay boy of the gastropods, this queer crustacean, this mincing mollusk, this screaming, prancing, limp-wristed queen of the deep makes me sick.
Mrs. Jalin: Have you got one?
Zorba: Here! (holds one up)
Mrs. Jalin: Let's kill it. Disgusting.
Zorba throws it on the floor and Mr. and Mrs. Jalin stamp on it.
Mr. Jalin: That'll teach it. Well thank you for a very interesting program.
Zorba: Oh, not at all. Thank you.
How would you like it on your resume that you cooked for the Clinton's for 8 years?
Seems like he would have left the bologna off of Air Force-One.....he gets more than his RDA from the MSM.
If you consistanly make something for someone and that person doesn't eat it, doesn't that give you a clue? Seems to me when a new President takes up residence in the White House, it's up to the chef to find out his likes and dislikes.
His career is scalloped now.
There are unconfirmed reports that Ralph Kramden's name has been mentioned as the Chef of the Future for the White House.
"Oh, Chef of the Future!"
You seen the size of her...not a problem.
then stuck his head in the sand?
Hail to the Chef.
You cook the Boss what HE not you wants BTW do not let the door hit you.
Tex-Mex, cheese curls and bologna sandwiches sound better to me than scallops.
Barbecue is the closest to heaven you can get while still above room temperature.
Regards,
GtG
"NO SCALLOPS FOR YOU!"
"How would you like it on your resume that you cooked for the Clinton's for 8 years?"
I hear tell Clinton liked a dozen oysters just before a night of conquest.
..like cooking for the Borgias. (Hint: the Prince. :)...Is this Enough poison, Madam?
Most people -- unless that have roots in Eastern North Carolina would not know good BBQ if it walked up to them and said "Je m'appelle BBQ." [Putting on flame-retardant suit and getting into bathtub after extremely inflamatory post.]
He'll have the White House kitchen zipping the modern way.
Most fish swim; all fish defecate; gravity works in water just as on land; what, then do bottom-dwellers eat?
Is this Enough poison, Madam?
LOL! I thought of "you didn't poison those puke Clinton's?" for my post but I figured someone would do it for me. HAHA.
Sen. Kennedy may call for hearings into the firing ...
Wasn't he assistant chef for years before the Clintons entered the picture.
Curiosity, I suppose.
I've never had my own chef, so I don't know what it's like to change one.
Do you?
Falsely assumes that fish feces are all sinkers and not floaters.
I have no idea.
On matters concerning bi-valve eating, the White House policy is "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
...of course, I was speaking of Lucretia Borgia; The illegitimate daughter of Pope Alexander VI, this Italian renaissance woman personified the concept of "Black Widow". She would sleep with you but you might find yourself dead from foxglove, a powdered digitalis poison. While to some extent her reputation as the most evil woman to have ever lived may be undeserved propaganda, Buffalo Bill did name his gun Lucretia Borgia allegedly due to its deadliness. That counts for something. :D
Didn't Lady MacBeth fire one of the chefs held over from Bush 41 presidency? Chef had called Barbara Bush to help her with her computer and HILLARY! took offense.
Yes, that's a true story.
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