A Few of FR's Finest...Every Day...02-16-06...VP Guns Down Moderate Republican (Satire)

Chris Davis | February 16, 2006 | Chris Davis, Writer33; DollyCali

[DollyCali]

A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day

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Vice President Guns Down
Moderate Republican (Satire)
by Writer33

Washington—In what is sure to bring the White House crumbling down, Vice President Dick Cheney shot a fellow hunter—a moderate Republican and lawyer—claiming it to be a hunting accident and hiding the atrocity for 24 hours before press secretary, Scott McClellan held a press conference.

The accident happened about 5:30 p.m. on a private ranch about 200 miles south of San Antonio, where the vice president has hunted previously. Whittington was treated incognito on the scene by Cheney’s traveling medical detail before being taken by helicopter to the hospital. This allowed Vice President Cheney more time in coming up with a story, as well as prepare President Bush for a possible response.

The responses from the White House were slow in coming, considering President Bush knew what happened the night of the accident and failed to report it to the White House press corps. The egregious error has put the spotlight on Vice President Cheney, President Bush and the lack of any disseminating of information.

The public perception of Cheney’s secretiveness and high and mighty attitude has been heightened by these recent episodes. The hunting accident also has exposed certain disarray and utter incompetence within the Bush administration. The mainstream media—in their efforts to save the world—are calling for Vice President Cheney’s resignation and impeachment of President Bush, leaving the frail Whittington to waste away in the hospital.

The poor, moderate victim, Harry Whittington, 78, reportedly took pellets in his cheek, neck and chest during Vice President Cheney’s vicious attack while claiming he aimed for a bird during a hunt in southern Texas on Saturday. Mr. Whittington was pronounced in stable condition at a Corpus Christi hospital, surviving the onslaught of the merciless shooting, but recently suffered a heart attack after one of Cheney’s pellets moved to his heart.

All seemed well on the surface, but Mr. Whittington claimed that conversations came up involving tax increases to pay for Bush’s war as well as finding no weapons of mass destruction or any links to al-Qaeda in Iraq. Some of the other topics, he noted, were issues on Bush’s illegal wire tapping of innocent civilians, including an adamant stand on moderate behavior and a need for a move to the center for the Republican Party.

Mr. Harry Whittington

“I went to the bathroom and came back,” whimpered Harry Whittington, a Republican lawyer. “The next thing you know I see Vice President Cheney blasting away with an evil glare in his eye. It was horrific! All I could do was yell ‘help, extremist!’ America needs more moderation. Just look at what we have now!”

Whittington was moved out of intensive care on Monday afternoon but Peter Banko, administrator of Christus Spohn Hospital, indicated that he didn’t know when he would be discharged, especially considering recent events and that “Mr. Whittington was lucky to have come back from the hunting trip alive with the party of Genghis Khan.”

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” claimed Peter Banko. “This is just one of the most extreme, brutal attacks I’ve ever seen in all my years as a hospital administrator. It’s just like a hardcore, conservative animal to unleash his wrath on an innocent moderate like Mr. Whittington. I want charges filed now! We’ve got to bring down the terror in the White House!”

“You can’t tell me, an experienced hunter,” noted Sen. John Kerry,” D-MA, “that Vice President Cheney couldn’t see the man while wearing the blaze orange cap and vest. It’s absurd to believe anything otherwise. If they’re not wire tapping your phone, then they’re shooting members of their own party to keep them quiet. I think it’s time for hearings.”

“I’m in agreement with Senator Kerry,” stated Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-MA. “This accident could’ve cost the man the loss of his sight, or even worse, the loss of his life. I think it’s a bit hypocritical of this administration to say that they want to protect Americans and then go around shooting them.”

“I am so ashamed of this party,” cried Sen. Susan Collins, R-ME. “I just wish they could learn to use a little moderation once in a while. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it!”

“I am sick and tired of those that say that disagreeing with this administration is wrong,” shouted Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY. “It is our right as Americans to question authority, especially when they shoot moderate Americans and withhold the information for 24 hours. It’s time that we repealed the Second Amendment and ban hunting in America all together!”

“I think the press is just a pack of hyenas out for blood,” quipped Scott McClellan, White House spokesman. “They’re over reacting and completely missing the point. The point is that the Vice President was aiming center mass. It was a great shot!”

` “This administration is the most secretive administration in modern history,” stated Harry Reid, D-NV. “The vice president accidentally shoots someone—albeit a lawyer—and then keeps that a secret for nearly a day. I don’t even recognize America anymore. This White House has got to go now!”

The lack of disseminating information just may be the straw that broke the proverbial White House’s back, ending in shackles for Vice President Cheney and President Bush. There was a time when conservative Americans could always count on a Republican that couldn’t pull the trigger, but by shooting a moderate Republican, Vice President Cheney has staked a claim on the Republican Party, the Second Amendment and gun control.

Chris Davis
Writer33

12-28-05 ~ Hall of Fame #14

THIS WEEK'S THREADS 02-13-06 Military Monday 02-14-06 Valentine's Day at the Finest 02-15-06 Pets and Friends

Opinions by our own 'King of Ping' Every Thursday at the Finest The guy's good, folks!

[DollyCali]

[Tuba Guy]

Thanks Dolly -- good job!

[DollyCali]

Vice President Guns
Down Moderate Republican





Sorry if you are receiving a duplicate ping.
Both Writer33 and the Finest Lists are being pinged
You may be on both.

[DollyCali]

In before the ping! Good job! How are things in Tuba-land ? (and the warmer climate you wisely chose to live in?)

[DollyCali]

May the Lord of great love and of creation keep the men and women of our military in His loving and eternal care. May the families be immersed with peace and comfort as they proudly know their loved ones are giving their best for the things that are dear to all of us. AMEN

Below are names of some of our FReepers' loved ones who are serving our country. If you have someone you would like to add, please address a post to Billie; Mama_Bear; Dutchess; The Mayor; GodBlessUSA; DollyCali, and we will add their name to this list. As we pray for them, we pray also for all our nation’s leaders, and military personnel, and their families and friends. May God hold them close to His heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

gator girl........................husband severa............husband, brother Maigrey............................cousin mystery-ak.............son, husband Gogrammy...................grandson Inspectorette.......................son Blessed American..........nephew Slip18..........................nephew Diver Dave.......niece, nephew ConspiracyGuy........2 nephews Pippin............niece's husband sneakers..............................son weldgophardline.....brotherinlaw jamaly.................brotherinlaw Future Snake Eater..........cousin WaterDragon.............grandson WaterDragon...........son-in-law BeforeISleep...................son kimmie7......................brother Armymarinemom............3 sons american_ranger.............son LadyX.........................grandson fawn796.......................nephew ValerieUSA....................2 sons Lakeside........................2 sons LakeLady......................nephew Spruce.........................daughter Leofl......................................son chena......................................son Hope and Glory..................son Philman_36..............2 nephews bjcintennessee.......son, niece TheMayor...............friends'son homeschoolmama...........nephew ariamne...................2 cousins mhking.........................cousin visualops..........................cousin auboy.............................cousin Ladysmith..nephew, friend's son tina07......soninlaw & his friend MontanaCowgirlCop.......brother Misty4jc........................husband Colorado Slim................nephew Tapatio....................2 nephews ProudAFDad............................son Alouette................................son Katydidnt..............................son Q6-God...................twin brother Q6-God.....................active duty Warrior Nurse...........active duty SK1 Thurman...........active duty David Osborne.........active duty fc2tomschermuly......active duty bkwells....................active duty LongCut....................active duty cjk...........................active duty Trish.........................active duty ODC-GIRL.................active duty AF_Blue...................active duty Notwithstanding.......active duty thumperusn..............active duty Veloxherc.................active duty Don Simmons...........active duty wingnutx...................active duty Old Sarge.................active duty CGblue.....................active duty bigghurtt...................active duty frankiep....................active duty veeceeque................active duty JRios1968...............active duty NoLongerFreeState....active duty wolf creek………….daughter JesseJane ............ cousin SoldiersPrayingMom...............son WakeUpandVote...........brother kimmykay ……….son mrs tiggywinkle............cousin cyber ant……...nephew Earthdweller..…..nephew Nadine………………… .nephewweldgophardline…….son jrushing...…...son

OhioWfan................................son ladtx..................................2 MozartLover...........son, nephew ak_daddoo........................nephew Dubya............................nephew LBGA (RIP)..........................son katykelly..............................son cookcounty.............................son SpookBrat........................nephew SpookBrat........................cousin Doug from Upland............soninlaw Himyar....................................son boxerblues........................2 sons the piper....................................son sheeza................................husband kemathen7.........................husband Tiffee4Bob..........................boyfriend deadhead.............................cousin JimRobinson...............2 nephews TexKat.......................son, step-son StarCMC.............................brother Consort........................2 daughters Consort.......................son-in-law Darheel...............................niece Repubmom………….son Donaeus...........................nephew dixie sass........................nephew BeAllYouCanBe........................son Repubmommy........................brother AgThorn................................2 sons kneezles.................................son RoseinRoseBear.....cousin's hubby Atomic Conspiracy......half-brother Atomic Conspiracy...........nephew Atomic Conspiracy..............niece Sunflowergal....................grandson DollyCali….AdvtTeamBud JohnM mrstank..............................husband MrsMike31........................husband Rose0508.….son spotbust1............................husband campfollower............................fiance LUV W........................................son painter...................................nephew Bykrbayb........................................son SilentServiceCPOWife........husband Walkenfree................2 grandsons Walkenfree.................. 3 nephews Walkenfree..................granddaughter Zechariah_8_13.......brother-in-law Zechariah_8_13.......................cousin DirtyHarryY2K......................daughter DirtyHarryY2K................son-in-law nelibeli...................................nephew Skimask.....................................son El Gato...............................nephew Palladin...............................grandson MississippyMuddy...................sister MississippyMuddy.....2 nephews Kramster...............................stepson gonzo.........................friend's son Socratic.............................nephew LoneRedRanger......brother-in-law Jemian...................................son freema....................nephew, son Azbushgal..............................son PreviouslyA-Lurker...........brother kimmykay.................................son right2parent..............................son NavySEAL F-16........................son Ike............................................son Skyraider.......... Son CMS............. active duty. Jen's Mom.....................daughter Meg33...........................grandson 911angelady.....................2 Sons U S Army EOD.......daughter ninergold3.……..nephew

[E.G.C.]

((HUGS))Good morning, Dolly. How's it going?

[Enterprise]

"Whittington was treated incognito"

Wait a minute. I read that he was treated in Texas. Another coverup.

[DollyCali]

Hi there.. (You REALLY don't want to know how it is going, trust me!).......... but life is sweet & God is good so we will make it through the muddles of life!

Warm here for Ohio (50s) and a gentle rain. My pooches still will get in their big hike later after my lunch with a couple friends..

how are things for you ~~and I request an answer after dodging your querrie? ----

:-)

[Beth528]

Morning Dolly,

Thanks for the ping..

This whole Chaney thing has really got the MSM crowd hopeful and where there is no story they will make one up..What a bunch of morons..

[DollyCali]

Yes, just full of cover ups!

HA!

Not sure when Chris will get here as he works & has school ..but he does eventually get here & answers all pings.. Hope all enjoy his wit & take of the issue..

[Enterprise]

Said McClellan to David Gregory: "David, you're making this all about you. If you want the camera on you, go out and shoot your own hunter. VP Cheney bagged him fair and square, so get over it."

[Issaquahking]

Next season's running of 24 has been canceled! JackBauer has been upstaged by a wild, Wyoming Vice president, known as Dick Dheney! Jack Bauer is an ficticious character ~ Dick Cheney is the real deal!



Prayers for all involved in terrible accident.

[Enterprise]

'Hope all enjoy his wit & take of the issue.."

I do. Especially when people go ballistic until someone gently, or not so gently, points out to them that it's satire.

[DollyCali]

Listening to a few of "our" talk shows yesterday, it was interesting to hear their response to the media's choice of stories to cover.. the media is a sorry bunch for sure

[The Mayor]

February 16, 2006

Be Still And Know

Read:
Psalm 46:1-11

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! —Psalm 46:10

Bible In One Year: Leviticus 19-20; Matthew 27:51-66

In February 1946, the world's first general-purpose electronic computer was introduced at the University of Pennsylvania. The Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer (ENIAC) filled a 30-by-50-foot room, weighed 50 tons, and used enough electricity every second to power a typical home for a week. Today, a pocket calculator contains more computing power than ENIAC did.

A decade ago, one observer noted that computers and other hi-tech gadgets have "snuck up on us and we don't realize it." He went on to speak of how wonderful it is to go where there are no computers, phones, or radios, or to go to the beach and listen to the waves.

Undisturbed stillness has become more elusive and therefore more necessary than ever to seek. The Lord God said, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" (Psalm 46:10).

A respite from activity allows us to focus our thoughts on the majesty of God. A quiet place helps us to listen to Him. Away from voice-mail and e-mail, we turn from our daily schedule to His eternal plan.

In our fast-paced world, we need to be still and acknowledge that God is in charge. —David McCasland

Take time to be holy,
The world rushes on;
Spend much time in secret
With Jesus alone. —Longstaff

Spending quiet time with God will bring quiet rest from God.

FOR FURTHER STUDY
How Can I Know God Through His Book?

[Mrs.Nooseman]

Good Morning.

Excellent writing writer.


Excellent thread Dolly.

[DollyCali]

Well, that is why I addded "satire" in title (sorry Chris).. didn't want too many people (and esp a mod who might be inclined to pull it!) getting super upset!

[MEG33]

Baby Blue Eyes Good Morning to the Finest

[DollyCali]

[DollyCali]

Thank you ma'am! good to see you. You have to work later today? I saw a little of last night's thread. THe three gal get together sounds like fun.. (maybe have a few days for 3 & then open it up for the rest of us to join you???).. we can all bring out dogs & see how many hotels we can get thrown out of !!!