Something to do during the off-season, I suppose...
Posted on 02/28/2006 12:58:07 PM PST by presidio9
A NESSIE hunt using a team of dolphins was planned by the Tory government, according to declassified secret documents.
Within days of the 1979 election, officials in Margaret Thatcher's regime proposed importing the mammals from America and fitting them with hi-tech equipment to scour Loch Ness.
Despite opposition from animal rights groups, it was argued that finding the monster would benefit local tourism.
A letter from Environment Department civil servant David Waymouth to Stewart Walker at the Scottish Home and Health Department, showed the Government wanted a licence to initiate the plan.
It stated: "This department is presently considering the issue of a licence to import two bottle-nosed dolphins from America for the purpose of exploring Loch Ness.
"Inquiries have been made with the mammal experts on the Scientific Authority for Animals and their advice is that there are no conservation or welfare reasons for refusing a licence.
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"Clearly, however, there are other factors, mainly political, that you might wish to consider before the licence is issued."
The National Archive of Scotland contains no record of a response to the letter, which was released under the Freedom of Information Act.
However, Adrian Shine, a naturalist who has been investigating the Loch Ness mystery for several decades, said he believed the dolphin plan was the brainchild of veteran monster hunter Dr Robert Rines.
Dr Rines was the founder of the American-based Academy of Applied Science who took a now-famous underwater photograph in 1972, which appeared to show a large flipper in the loch.
The Academy of Applied Science in New Hampshire confirmed that dolphins were being trained with mini cameras and strobe lights that would have been activated if they encountered any large objects.
Last week, it was revealed that civil servants made plans to give Nessie legal protection from poachers and bounty hunters in the early 80s.
The plan was instigated when the Swedish government asked for help to preserve their equivalent, the Storsjo monster.
UK officials then realised there was nothing to stop a trophy hunter from tracking down the beast and killing her.
It was eventually decided that Nessie should be protected as part of the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981, rather than specific legislation.
Under the provisions of the Act it is illegal to snare, shoot or blow up the monster.
Anybody who enjoys stories like this should contact pcottraux.
Hell, why not just send in Bat Boy in scuba gear?
Something to do during the off-season, I suppose...
How does a salt water mammal take to a fresh water lake?
Just call Ace Ventura.
Some species swim in fresh water
Haha. Nice one.
...it is Friday yet?
Never mind, I see 7...
Simpler: pull the plug at the bottom and drain the lake. Whatever monsters are there would be deposited on the bottom, right next to rusty supermarket carts, old tires and other garbage. Later, the lake might be cleaned up and refilled, if necessary.
Mabye Loch Ness Monsters like the taste of dolphin...
Can I get some lasers on their head? All I want I some frikin' dolphins with lasers on their head? Is that so much to ask for?
Just remember, "Laces out!"
As any intelligent person knows, the only legitimate reason for draining a lake is if there might be snakehead fish in it.
well, Plan B was..take back the Falklands..
It seems that earlier this week there was a reported sighting of "Champ", the weird yet elusive beastie that is supposed to lurk in the depths of Lake Champlain, between NY State and Michigan (I think ?).
Perhaps they can train those dolphins in Lake Champlain to see if they can turn up anything before shipping them off to Scotland.
These critters may be so much myth; but even so, you won't catch me scuba diving in either Lake Champlain OR Loch Ness!
FInkel is Einhorn? Einhorn is Finkel!!! Einhorn is a M..........AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So harpooning would be okay?
Reminds me of a joke...
He went to court and explained to the judge, "Your honor, I was starving - had nothing to eat for three days, and it was a matter of survival - I had to eat whatever I could and I just happened to get lucky and kill the eagle. Just as the hiker was getting up to leave the courtroom, the judge asked, "By the way... what did the Bald Eagle taste like?" A hiker was lost in the woods for several days. After a while, he managed to kill a bald eagle and was in the process of cooking and eating it when some rangers came upon him. They promptly arrested him for harming a protected species.
The judge felt sorry for the hiker and let him off without any penalties.
The hiker replied, "Oh, something between a Spotted Owl and Whooping Crane - but just a bit greasy like California Condor."
Average water temperature of Loch Ness is 50F.
Clinton found Bigfoot and made her Attorney General.
Vermont, not Michigan
I can just see old NEssie now:
"Hmm what's this swimming around (chomp)! tastes like chicken!-urp!)
"Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally."
But still, good work & keep up the talent.
LOL! I'll bet you're pretty good with a bow staff.
There isn't a LNM ... the photo was faked. The guy who took it admitted so just before he died ... same thing like Bigfoot ... guy was dressed up in a furry coat ...
It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic. It's pretty much my favorite animal.
Maybe they put the dolphin in a scuba suit ? ;-)
It's not like they breathe through gills. They breathe through a blowhole when they surface.
What you are trying to say is that those two cases were hoaxes. Both animals were reported long before either photo surfaced. It is 99% likely that Nessie has died or no longer existed, but it is unwise to ignore reports comletely. The coelacanth, the saola and the giant squid are all examples of large animals discovered in the 20th century that were long rumored to exist but understood to be mythical by "serious" scientists.
That's about all Ricky Williams is qualified for these days.
Would they be outfitted with freeken laser beams?
Your Current Event Napolean
Champy's in Vermont.
I've heard they demand tuna-free dolphin.
They'll end up killing it just to prove it was there then feel bad about it. If it's there leave it the hell alone.
I don't believe in aliens, but I could be convinced about Ness and Bigfoot and the Abominable Snowman. :)
Did they pay him the "threefitty?" (Chef's parents from South Park)
I actually agree with you 100%. You don't meet many people that don't believe in aliens. Not that I don't believe that there's any life out there, but I don't believe intelligent life has found it's way from space to Earth.
The existence of the Abominable Snowman is beyond dispute. Here's a picture taken by Yukon Cornelius.
bump
(I happen to know that he is really a Bumble. Did you know Bumbles bounce?)
There is a really good documentary on the search for Nessie. I am sure you have seen it. I can't find the DVD with the name on it.....
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