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Many Couples Must Negotiate Terms of 'Brokeback' Marriages
New York Times ^ | March 7, 2006 | KATY BUTLER

Posted on 03/09/2006 2:06:41 PM PST by nickcarraway

One hour into "Brokeback Mountain," Amy Jo Remmele began to cry, and not just for the woman on-screen, standing in a doorway in Riverton, Wyo., watching her husband embrace a man.

"When I saw that look in her eyes, I thought, 'Oh, yeah.' Even though I never saw my husband with another man, I knew exactly how that woman would have felt," said Mrs. Remmele, a respiratory therapist in rural Minnesota.

On June 1, 2000, Mrs. Remmele, then 31, discovered her husband's profile on the Web site gay.com. The couple stayed up all that night weeping and talking. Soon afterward, 10 days before she gave birth to her second child, Mrs. Remmele's husband went off to spend a couple of nights with his new boyfriend. "I tried to talk him out of it, and he left anyway," Mrs. Remmele said. "I was devastated." Three months later the couple divorced.

Mrs. Remmele — now married to a farmer who raises cattle, corn and soybeans — is one of an estimated 1.7 million to 3.4 million American women who once were or are now married to men who have sex with men.

The estimate derives from "The Social Organization of Sexuality," a 1990 study, that found that 3.9 percent of American men who had ever been married had had sex with men in the previous five years. The lead author, Edward O. Laumann, a sociologist at the University of Chicago, estimated that 2 to 4 percent of ever-married American women had knowingly or unknowingly been in what are now called mixed-orientation marriages.

Such marriages are not just artifacts of the closeted 1950's. In the 16th century, Queen Anne of Denmark had eight children with King James I of England, known not only for the King James Bible, but also for his devotion

(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; US: New York
KEYWORDS: brokebackmountain; family; homosexualagenda; homosexuality; marriage
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1 posted on 03/09/2006 2:06:45 PM PST by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway
On June 1, 2000, Mrs. Remmele, then 31, discovered her husband's profile on the Web site gay.com. The couple stayed up all that night weeping and talking. Soon afterward, 10 days before she gave birth to her second child, Mrs. Remmele's husband went off to spend a couple of nights with his new boyfriend. "I tried to talk him out of it, and he left anyway," Mrs. Remmele said. "I was devastated." Three months later the couple divorced.

Mrs Remmele is one understanding woman. Ten days before the birth of his child he walks out to be with another man? He's lucky she didn't shoot him!

2 posted on 03/09/2006 2:09:56 PM PST by Rummyfan
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To: nickcarraway

Right, so this is common place, a downright historical tradition.


3 posted on 03/09/2006 2:10:38 PM PST by Williams
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To: Rummyfan

1.7 million to 3.4 million?


4 posted on 03/09/2006 2:11:25 PM PST by x5452
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To: nickcarraway

I've seen some of these walk away gays. They drop everything (wives, children, relatives) for their perverted life style. Sickos.


5 posted on 03/09/2006 2:11:33 PM PST by putupjob
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To: nickcarraway

Put an enemy's profile on a gay site and drop a dime to his wife?


6 posted on 03/09/2006 2:12:16 PM PST by ncountylee (Dead terrorists smell like victory)
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To: ncountylee

(Which is another question... how'd she know to look?)


7 posted on 03/09/2006 2:12:58 PM PST by x5452
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To: nickcarraway
One woman in her 50's, who asked to be identified only as Trillian, out of concern for her husband's privacy, said that she and her husband formally divorced after she discovered his secret sexual life seven years ago, but they quickly decided to stay together. She has a satisfying monogamous sexual relationship with him, while he also has sex with men.

DANGEROUS! I think I would value my life more highly.

8 posted on 03/09/2006 2:13:05 PM PST by ahayes
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To: nickcarraway

--- Such marriages are not just artifacts of the closeted 1950's ---

Closeted?

So, if the guy had gone off to visit his girlfriend 10 days before his wife had a child, would that have been an artifact of Closet Adultery?

Is the next step to make adultery fully socially acceptable.. (Not counting the Clinton Marriage here)


9 posted on 03/09/2006 2:13:09 PM PST by Paloma_55 (Which part of "Common Sense" do you not understand???)
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To: nickcarraway

I will be unable to comment on this article since after reading it my brain ran away whimpering and hid behind my pancreas.


10 posted on 03/09/2006 2:14:28 PM PST by Slings and Arrows ("Facts are a Zionist plot!" --MarkL)
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To: Rummyfan

Same thing happened to my best friend. Only she found out about hubby 5 months into her pregnancy. Made for one rough pregnancy. I think guys who do this should be jailed or fined or something for breach of contract.


11 posted on 03/09/2006 2:14:51 PM PST by TXBubba ( Democrats: If they don't abort you then they will tax you to death.)
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To: x5452

Well, in the case of my friend she went to get a pencil out of his briefcase and found condoms instead. Turns out he was meeting someone at a health club. Ewwwwwww.


12 posted on 03/09/2006 2:16:35 PM PST by TXBubba ( Democrats: If they don't abort you then they will tax you to death.)
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To: nickcarraway
These gay guys that jerk a woman's life around so they can have a 'cover' wife are despicable.

If you wanna be, or are gay, just 'man' up and go gay, don't wreck someone else's life in the process.
13 posted on 03/09/2006 2:16:43 PM PST by Sax
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To: nickcarraway

"Three months later "

What took her so long?


14 posted on 03/09/2006 2:18:06 PM PST by dynachrome ("Where am I? Where am I going? Why am I in a handbasket?")
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To: Sax

If you wanna be, or are gay, just 'man' up and go gay,

Just like in "the Fantastic Four"---

Flame On!


15 posted on 03/09/2006 2:20:27 PM PST by loganphive
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To: ahayes

"DANGEROUS! I think I would value my life more highly."

Not to mention my self-esteem. What a weak, sad woman.


16 posted on 03/09/2006 2:20:28 PM PST by L98Fiero (I'm worth a million in prizes.)
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To: loganphive
Flame On!

Ha! Big points for that one!

17 posted on 03/09/2006 2:22:32 PM PST by Sax
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To: Paloma_55

"(Not counting the Clinton Marriage here)"

What a joke. How do they have the gall to show up in public together? I don't think I know of anyone, liberal or conservative who buys that marriage. Of course, liberals could care less.


18 posted on 03/09/2006 2:23:42 PM PST by L98Fiero (I'm worth a million in prizes.)
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To: dynachrome
What took her so long?

Actually, I am surprised she could get divorsed so quickly with children involved.

19 posted on 03/09/2006 2:24:37 PM PST by Always Right
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To: Always Right

Yeah, my guess is that he didn't fight.


20 posted on 03/09/2006 2:26:04 PM PST by dynachrome ("Where am I? Where am I going? Why am I in a handbasket?")
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To: nickcarraway

MANY couples?

Many compared to what? Couples who have gone into space?


21 posted on 03/09/2006 2:26:15 PM PST by Chickensoup (The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.)
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To: nickcarraway

There is at least one reported case where a wife turned her husband gay. Michael Huffington.


22 posted on 03/09/2006 2:26:52 PM PST by doug from upland (Stopping Hillary should be a FreeRepublic Manhattan Project)
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To: nickcarraway

They had this on a Germany sort-of-Dr. Phil show several years back. She thought there was another woman due to his unexplained absences, stuff found in the clothes, etc. He denied, the doc pushed, and it was true, it was not another woman, it was a man.

Her response was like "Another woman I can compete with, but what do I do when it's a man?" I was of course yelling at the TV to beat the living crap out of him, leave him, and squeeze every last cent from him in child support and alimony.


23 posted on 03/09/2006 2:27:31 PM PST by antiRepublicrat
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To: nickcarraway

These situations strike me as odd. Can't these woman tell that their boyfriends/fiances/husbands seem to not be interested in sex with them? Granted, sometimes things happen and attraction fades, but how can these men have tricked their girls FROM THE START???

Unless, of course, they really are attracted to women too, in which case there is no excuse for their affairs in any event.


24 posted on 03/09/2006 2:28:10 PM PST by dinoparty
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To: Chickensoup
Beyond my comprehension.

Another world that I, thankfully, don't know about.

Me, I cherish my wife and am damn glad she feels the same.

25 posted on 03/09/2006 2:30:39 PM PST by AGreatPer
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To: x5452

What is a 50% error rate on such a important social ideal?


26 posted on 03/09/2006 2:30:56 PM PST by razorback-bert
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To: nickcarraway

Here we go...now the call will start for plural marriages and open marriages. These "mixed-orientation" marriages need government benefits too. Why should the other man be left out?


27 posted on 03/09/2006 2:33:11 PM PST by The Ghost of FReepers Past (Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light..... Isaiah 5:20)
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To: nickcarraway
On June 1, 2000, Mrs. Remmele, then 31, discovered her husband's profile on the Web site gay.com. The couple stayed up all that night weeping and talking

That's one more night than I would have stuck around.

I would think that at the point you find out your spouse has crapped on his vows is the point that your love, like, and respect for him simply shrivels up and dies, right there on the spot. That, plus the fact that you've been suckered is another factor -

28 posted on 03/09/2006 2:33:13 PM PST by Lizavetta
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To: nickcarraway
I know of two women whose husbands left for homosexual relationships. one of them was a protestant minister; and not from one of the more 'liberal' denominations. In fact, it is quite conservative.

Also know of women who left their husbands for lesbian relationships.
29 posted on 03/09/2006 2:33:51 PM PST by connectthedots
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To: nickcarraway

I have trouble believing that these men get married and have sex with women when they have absolutely no attraction to women and don't enjoy sex with them.

It's hard enough to talk a woman into being with you when you are driven by hormones, I can't imagine going through the effort for nothing.

The alternative is to believe that something changes which causes these men to become attracted to other men. While I know that isn't supposed to be true, it seems more likely. I'm not saying it's so, just that it's hard to reconcile the occurance.

It's also hard to reconcile the "born this way" with the number of women who "give up on men" and "go to women", and then sometimes go back.

Bisexual seems to be a direct repudiation of the idea that attraction is genetic.


30 posted on 03/09/2006 2:37:43 PM PST by CharlesWayneCT
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To: putupjob

I bet a lot of men TELL THEIR WIVES they are going for another man, because the women will let them go more easily than if they confess to running off with their secretary.


31 posted on 03/09/2006 2:38:41 PM PST by CharlesWayneCT
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To: dynachrome

"What took her so long?"

Obviously she is not an Italian woman.

/mostlykidding


32 posted on 03/09/2006 2:43:05 PM PST by pogo101
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To: nickcarraway
Such marriages are not just artifacts of the closeted 1950's. In the 16th century, Queen Anne of Denmark had eight children with King James I of England, known not only for the King James Bible, but also for his devotion to male favorites, one of whom he called "my sweet child and wife."

Finally, much is made of King James VI & I articulating in his writing that he "loved" someone of the same gender giving the reader the mistaken belief that "love" stood for a sexual attraction and thus yet another "proof" of the "homosexuality" of King James VI & I. Also, it is alleged that King James VI & I "justified homosexuality many times" in his writings. http://jesus-is-lord.com/rumors.htm

In the Bible David said that his own love for Jonathan surpassed that of a woman,

I am distressed for thee my brother Jonathan:, very pleasant hast thou been unto me, thy love to me was wonderful passing the love of women (2Sa.1:26)

No doubt we will soon find that David was 'really' a homosexual.

Frankly, I do not understand why any women would want to remain married to a 'man' who she found to be a homosexual.

Moreover, I am skeptical that they did not know that he was not really a man when she married him.

33 posted on 03/09/2006 2:44:53 PM PST by fortheDeclaration (Gal. 4:16)
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To: AGreatPer
Me, I cherish my wife and am damn glad she feels the same.

What a lovely thing to say about your wife. She's a lucky woman :)

34 posted on 03/09/2006 2:46:10 PM PST by MotleyGirl70 (Most cats are democrats - did you ever meet a creature with such an inborn sense of entitlement?)
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To: doug from upland
There is at least one reported case where a wife turned her husband gay. Michael Huffington.

And there is at least one reported case where a lesbo turned her lesbian lover hetero: Ellen Degenerate and Ann Heche.

35 posted on 03/09/2006 2:48:12 PM PST by VRWCmember (You are STILL safer hunting with Dick Cheney than riding in a car with Ted Kennedy!)
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To: The Ghost of FReepers Past

Why don't we just skip to the end game, with "Everyone belongs to everyone else" as the offical governmental/cultural policy.


36 posted on 03/09/2006 2:49:09 PM PST by somniferum
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To: TXBubba

Or shot if they are Catholic so the wife can remarry in the Church.


37 posted on 03/09/2006 2:50:18 PM PST by BW2221
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To: nickcarraway
is one of an estimated 1.7 million to 3.4 million American women who once were or are now married to men who have sex with men.

I don't believe those numbers for a second....

No way, no how.

38 posted on 03/09/2006 2:50:57 PM PST by Osage Orange (Molon Labe)
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To: doug from upland

ROFLOL!!


39 posted on 03/09/2006 2:53:23 PM PST by Osage Orange (Molon Labe)
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To: fortheDeclaration

I notice that it is quite common in certain circles to equate "sex" with "love". To some it is impossible to grasp that one can love someone of the same sex who is not a close relative and harbor no desire at all to have sex with that person.


40 posted on 03/09/2006 2:59:11 PM PST by scory
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Comment #41 Removed by Moderator

To: Sax
If you wanna be, or are gay, just 'man' up and go gay

'man' up.

Do you think that is accurate or possible for such?

42 posted on 03/09/2006 3:00:10 PM PST by Bear_Slayer (When liberty is outlawed only outlaws will have liberty)
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To: Osage Orange
DFU SONG: Rhiannon (Arianna)
DFU SONG PARODIES | 9-2003 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

Posted on 09/30/2003 4:13:38 PM PDT by doug from upland

MIDI - RHIANNON

Arianna rings like a bell through the night...well, actually it's screaching
She is a loud mouth and hypocrite...we're tired of her preaching
Irritating, that she is...like Streisand, Hillary or Cuomo
We feel sorry for her poor ex-husband, 'cause she turned him homo

Davis and his RATS will be gone but she is out to spoil it
Hey, Arnold, relive your movie scene...stuff her head in the toilet
Irritating, that she is...like Streisand, Hillary or Cuomo
We feel sorry for her poor ex-husband, 'cause she turned him homo
She had turned him homo

Arianna...Arianna...Arianna...Arianna

Where she has no business, she thinks there's something she must settle
Give her the chance and your SUV will soon become scrap metal
Irritating, that she is...like Streisand, Hillary or Cuomo
We feel sorry for her poor ex-husband, 'cause she turned him homo
She had turned him homo

Arianna...Arianna...Arianna

She's worse than hemorrhoids really burning
She's worse than hemorrhoids really burning
She's worse than hemorrhoids really burning

43 posted on 03/09/2006 3:00:16 PM PST by doug from upland (Stopping Hillary should be a FreeRepublic Manhattan Project)
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To: scory

I've noticed that also. I loved my best friend but was in NO WAY sexually attracted to her. But she was probably the person I was closest to (other than my hubby). I say "was" because she died suddenly at age 36.


44 posted on 03/09/2006 3:06:18 PM PST by TXBubba ( Democrats: If they don't abort you then they will tax you to death.)
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To: Rummyfan

Why shoot him?Then mommy goes to jail for twenty years and the kid grows up without a mother OR father.
I can't believe this woman didn't notice signs that her husband was gay.She probably did but was in deep denial.


45 posted on 03/09/2006 3:09:30 PM PST by Riverman94610
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To: Victoria Delsoul

"I don't even know where to begin" ping.


46 posted on 03/09/2006 3:11:37 PM PST by Alberta's Child
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To: Osage Orange
"is one of an estimated 1.7 million to 3.4 million American women who once were or are now married to men who have sex with men."

I don't believe those numbers for a second....

No way, no how.

I don't either. It is kind of like those who say that 50% of all marriages end in divorce because there are 2 million marriages in one year and 1 million divorces. What about the other 54 million marriages going on at the same time? I come up with about a 1.7857% divorce rate.

What is the agenda of the statistic?

47 posted on 03/09/2006 3:14:28 PM PST by ConservativeBamaFan
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To: ncountylee
Put an enemy's profile on a gay site and drop a dime to his wife?

You are an EVIL genius.

48 posted on 03/09/2006 3:14:47 PM PST by GreenOgre (mohammed is the false prophet of a false god.)
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To: Williams

Yup, common, they had to go back 6 years to find a Montana (what no Wyoming) housewife. Reminds me of all the stories during the Clinton years on how lying was actually a good thing.


49 posted on 03/09/2006 3:15:42 PM PST by Jabba the Nutt (Jabba the Hutt's bigger, meaner, uglier brother.)
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To: GreenOgre

Let me know how it went.


50 posted on 03/09/2006 3:16:25 PM PST by ncountylee (Dead terrorists smell like victory)
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