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Unwed Fathers Fight for Babies Placed for Adoption by Mothers
The New York Times ^ | March 19, 2006 | Tamar Lewin

Posted on 03/19/2006 10:41:42 PM PST by Giant Conservative

Jeremiah Clayton Jones discovered that his former fiancée was pregnant just three weeks before the baby was due, when an adoption-agency lawyer called and asked if he would consent to have his baby adopted.

"I said absolutely not," said Mr. Jones, a 23-year-old Arizona man who met his ex-fiancée at Pensacola Christian College in Florida. "It was an awkward moment, hearing for the first time that I would be a father, and then right away being told, 'We want to take your kid away.' But I knew that if I was having a baby, I wanted that baby."

Mr. Jones has never seen his son, now 18 months old. Instead, he lost his parental rights because of his failure to file with a state registry for unwed fathers — something he learned of only after it was too late.

Under Florida law, and that of other states, an unmarried father has no right to withhold consent for adoption unless he has registered with the state putative father registry before an adoption petition is filed. Mr. Jones missed the deadline.

Although one in every three American babies has unwed parents, birth fathers' rights remain an unsettled area, a delicate balancing act between the importance of biological ties and the undisrupted placement of babies whose mothers relinquish them for adoption.

(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: abortion; adopt; adopted; adopting; adoption; babies; baby; billofrights; birthfathers; childcustody; children; childrensrights; civilizationitself; consistency; consistentlifeethic; constitution; custody; dad; dads; deathofthewest; equalrights; fairness; family; father; fatherhood; fathers; fathersrights; feminazis; feminism; feminist; feminists; kid; kids; laws; life; men; mensrights; parenthood; parents; parentsrights; paternalrights; politics; prolife; rights; sanctity; seamlessgarment; unweddads; unwedfathers; unwedmoms; unwedmothers; waronfathers; women
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1 posted on 03/19/2006 10:41:51 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: Giant Conservative

He should have thought about that before he had his fifteen minutes under the yum-yum tree.


2 posted on 03/19/2006 10:44:14 PM PST by coydog
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To: Giant Conservative

How sad. The baby has a father that wants him but can't have him. Why did they even bother to call him?


3 posted on 03/19/2006 10:45:05 PM PST by CindyDawg (472)
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To: coydog

He and the mother were both together of their own volition: there is no justification there for one having lesser rights than the other.


4 posted on 03/19/2006 10:46:01 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: coydog

tough situation if he didn't know until 3 weeks before due date.


5 posted on 03/19/2006 10:46:39 PM PST by WoofDog123
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To: CindyDawg

Aren't conservatives supposed to be doing everything possible to encourage fathers to raise and take care of their sons and daughters?


6 posted on 03/19/2006 10:47:06 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: Giant Conservative

To hell with the baby, it's all about "me".


7 posted on 03/19/2006 10:47:29 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: WoofDog123

He should have been told.


8 posted on 03/19/2006 10:47:51 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: Giant Conservative
Aren't conservatives supposed to be doing everything possible to encourage fathers to raise and take care of their sons and daughters?

The selfless thing to do with bastards is to allow them to be adopted into loving, two parent (male+female) families. It's called LOVE.

9 posted on 03/19/2006 10:49:09 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: Jeff Chandler

The father cares about his baby, and wants to raise his baby. Conservatives should support all such men with everything they've got!
Otherwise, they're as responsible for the degeneration of the nation as liberals are.


10 posted on 03/19/2006 10:49:20 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: Giant Conservative

(...a delicate balancing act between the importance of biological ties and the undisrupted placement of babies whose mothers relinquish them for adoption.)

What balancing act would that be? The mother doesn't want the babies, so what would be a reason why the biological father wouldn't get the kids if they want them? Has this world gone mad?


11 posted on 03/19/2006 10:49:47 PM PST by winner3000
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To: coydog

Babies happen. He is willing to accept his responsibility. Not much more you can do.


12 posted on 03/19/2006 10:49:55 PM PST by CindyDawg (472)
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To: Jeff Chandler

A father who loves his child should keep and raise his child, not toss the kid off to some unknown couple. Why do you value actual fatherhood less than having any couple raise the kid?


13 posted on 03/19/2006 10:50:56 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: Giant Conservative
The father cares about his baby, and wants to raise his baby.

He is thinking about himself. A real man puts the good of his child above his own feelings.

14 posted on 03/19/2006 10:51:23 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: Giant Conservative
toss the kid off to some unknown couple.

Adoption is not "tossing the kid off", it is a loving, selfless act.

15 posted on 03/19/2006 10:52:20 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: winner3000
What balancing act would that be? The mother doesn't want the babies, so what would be a reason why the biological father wouldn't get the kids if they want them?

Given that most biological fathers are good people, there is no valid reason to not leave their own children in their care to raise.

Has this world gone mad?

Some parts of it unquestionably have.

16 posted on 03/19/2006 10:52:58 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: Jeff Chandler

Agreed.


17 posted on 03/19/2006 10:53:44 PM PST by TAdams8591
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To: Jeff Chandler

Not in view of the fact that the baby is better off with their own natural father as opposed to some unrelated couple.


18 posted on 03/19/2006 10:54:11 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: Giant Conservative
there is no valid reason to not leave their own children in their care to raise.

Children deserve to have a mommy AND a daddy. That's why it is almost always better to put bastards up for adoption.

19 posted on 03/19/2006 10:54:17 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: Jeff Chandler

No the best thing to do is give your child a name and love and raise them yourself.


20 posted on 03/19/2006 10:54:21 PM PST by CindyDawg (472)
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To: Jeff Chandler

The good of the child is to be raised by their own father.


21 posted on 03/19/2006 10:54:48 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: Jeff Chandler

I agree with what you are saying JC.


22 posted on 03/19/2006 10:56:49 PM PST by beaversmom
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Comment #23 Removed by Moderator

To: Jeff Chandler

Why do you think he can't do just as good , if not a better job? I agree it is best to have a Mommy and a Daddy but life isn't always fair but families manage.


24 posted on 03/19/2006 10:57:22 PM PST by CindyDawg (472)
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To: Giant Conservative
The good of the child is to be raised by their own father.

A child needs a mommy AND a daddy.

25 posted on 03/19/2006 10:57:51 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: Jeff Chandler
And if the bio-mom refuses to be a part of raising the kid, the father should not only raise his child but find someone to, additionally, step in and fill the shoes the bio-mom stepped away from. But the first thing is for the baby to stay with the father.

And a child born out of wedlock is not a "bastard", an undeniably negative term, but rather is a child, who deserves the care of their real father.

26 posted on 03/19/2006 10:58:14 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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Comment #27 Removed by Moderator

To: Giant Conservative

"He should have been told."

Yeah there is really no way he could win on this one, clearly he had no ongoing relationship with the mother.


28 posted on 03/19/2006 10:59:47 PM PST by WoofDog123
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To: Jeff Chandler

You seem anxious to get the biological father out of his child's life as quickly as you can...


29 posted on 03/19/2006 11:00:03 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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Comment #30 Removed by Moderator

To: CindyDawg
Why do you think he can't do just as good , if not a better job? I agree it is best to have a Mommy and a Daddy but life isn't always fair but families manage.

Single parenthood is a fallback position. Why on earth would a so-called "father" deprive his bastard of a normal family? Because of pride. "That's MY bastard, and I ain't gonna let it have a normal family life because it's MINE. MINE MINE MINE!"

31 posted on 03/19/2006 11:01:11 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: CindyDawg
Desert the mother of your child and then demand paternal rights?

Give me a break.

Wonder how long it would take him to desert his child the same way.

32 posted on 03/19/2006 11:01:15 PM PST by JohnnyZ (Happy New Year! Breed like dogs!)
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To: Giant Conservative
You seem anxious to get the biological father out of his child's life as quickly as you can...

No, I know that children need daddies AND mommies. BTW, have you never heard of open adoptions?

33 posted on 03/19/2006 11:02:28 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: Jeff Chandler
First, the man is a father, not a "so-called father".

Second, the father wants to keep his child because he loves his child, and knows that his child belongs with their natural father. Why do you insist upon artificially projecting ill motivations that don't exist?

34 posted on 03/19/2006 11:03:36 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: Giant Conservative
And a child born out of wedlock is not a "bastard"

Yes it is. Look it up.

35 posted on 03/19/2006 11:03:41 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: JohnnyZ
What desertion? Two people are together, and one doesn't know that a baby is conceived...and when he finds out, he steps forward to raise his baby. That's very honorable!
36 posted on 03/19/2006 11:05:24 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: Jeff Chandler

A baby is a baby. No baby should be called a "bastard". Shame on you.


37 posted on 03/19/2006 11:06:36 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: Giant Conservative
Second, the father wants to keep his child because he loves his child, and knows that his child belongs with(to?) their natural father. Why do you insist upon artificially projecting ill motivations that don't exist?

The loving thing to do is to think of the child first.

38 posted on 03/19/2006 11:06:36 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: Giant Conservative
"Not in view of the fact that the baby is better off with their own natural father as opposed to some unrelated couple."

Not necessarily and probalby in situations like this unlikely. Married couples looking to adopt are in a better situation to give a child a home, as firstly they are married and secondly have made the necessary preparations for children. Years ago, children born out of wedlock were routinely given up for adoption for the reasons I stated. Not today, more often then not and unfortunately to the great detriment of children.

39 posted on 03/19/2006 11:07:04 PM PST by TAdams8591
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To: Jeff Chandler

The word is "with", as in "belongs with": the best interests of the baby is to be with their father.


40 posted on 03/19/2006 11:08:13 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: Giant Conservative
A baby is a baby. No baby should be called a "bastard". Shame on you.

No, shame on those who have removed the concept of shame for irresponsible behavior, resulting in more bastards and more abortions.

41 posted on 03/19/2006 11:08:13 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: Jeff Chandler
I know this was a common term to describe children out of wedlock in the past but why do you need to keep screaming bastard? Do you just like hearing it? We are all aware of the situation. This man should have a choice. He should be able to decide (not you) if he can care for his child or not. It's about rights. Men don't have any. It may be ok with you for society to want yall out of the picture but it isn't ok with me. Usually we see dads that could care less. We call them selfish and deadbeats. This young man steps up to the plate and says I can love and care for my kid and gets smacked. That isn't right.
42 posted on 03/19/2006 11:08:53 PM PST by CindyDawg (472)
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To: Giant Conservative
the best interests of the baby is to be with their father.

Agreed. The loving, married adoptive father.

43 posted on 03/19/2006 11:09:04 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: Jeff Chandler

He is thinking about himself. A real man puts the good of his child above his own feelings.



A real woman wouldn't be discarding her own child and lying to the father.

Why is the man always blamed? Is this whole nation brainwashed aginst men?


44 posted on 03/19/2006 11:09:04 PM PST by Finalapproach29er (Americans need to remember Osama's "strong horse" -"weak horse" analogy. Let's stop acting weak.)
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To: Giant Conservative
First, the man is a father, not a "so-called father".

Screwing a woman does not make a man a real father. It makes him a sperm donor.

45 posted on 03/19/2006 11:09:04 PM PST by JohnnyZ (Happy New Year! Breed like dogs!)
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To: JohnnyZ

He deserted her?


46 posted on 03/19/2006 11:10:47 PM PST by CindyDawg (472)
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To: CindyDawg
It's about rights

The right of the bastard to be raised not as a bastard but as a normal adopted child in a loving married (man+wife) family.

47 posted on 03/19/2006 11:10:56 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: Jeff Chandler
You've made "shame" one sided: I don't see you shaming the biological mother, just the biological father!

If she has a right to raise the baby though it was born out of wedlock, so does he. Fathers should not be treated under the law as having any lesser right to custody of their children than mothers have. No child is put up for adoption over the bio-moms objections unless she's proven unfit; no child should be put up for adoption over the bio-dads objections unless he's proven unfit. And since conceiving a child out of wedlock isn't considered sufficient grounds to hold the bio-mom as unfit, it isn't sufficient grounds to hold the bio-dad unfit either!

48 posted on 03/19/2006 11:12:40 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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To: Finalapproach29er
Why is the man always blamed? Is this whole nation brainwashed aginst men?

Sure the woman has loose morals, but at least she is thinking about the child at this point. Adopted children are lucky. They have adoptive parents who love them, and biological parents who love them enough to give them up for adoption so they won't be raised as bastards.

49 posted on 03/19/2006 11:13:48 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Peace Begins in the Womb)
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To: JohnnyZ
Biological fatherhood makes a person a biological father and gives him the presumptive right to raise his own child, which in turn is in the best interests of his child.

What is the source of your strange need to denigrate men who do want to raise their own children? Shouldn't you spend your time going after those women and men who don't care about their children?

50 posted on 03/19/2006 11:16:19 PM PST by Giant Conservative
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