Posted on 03/20/2006 8:29:35 AM PST by dson7_ck1249
You know the old saying about having a hammer and everything looking like nails? I was reading an article in the Journal of Law and Economics about why housing prices in Manhattan are so high, and I thought, "Omigosh! The answer to the demographic implosion." Since my hammer happens to be sex and marriage, even an economics article reminds me of sex. So bear with me. I’ll explain what the article had to say about housing prices. Then I’ll tell you what it has to do with sex...
(Excerpt) Read more at townhall.com ...
Seriously...this is an excellent article.
There's nop rush to get married - play the field at least a decade more or so, then get serious about it. You get to date lots of cute girls with few strings this way, and then at the end you can get the life you want. No sense in clipping your wings too soon.
Most men are not worth marrying until after they hit their 30's.
1) Men don't mature fast enough emotionally and don't generally put it all together til later in life. That is true far more often than not.
2) A man should have achieved some level of success in his chosen field so as to have proved something to himself about his character and foundation. He will have far less to prove and less need to act out. He will also be able to make his own choices rather than being a slave to his need to make money.
3) A man should have amassed some money to finance his family which involves having developed some discipline around finance. Kids and wives are expensive. Plan accordingly.
4) A man should have dated enough women to know what the workd is like and be able to see that all that shines and glitters is not always real. Hot chicks lose their looks over time and if they have no personality then you are screwed.
Yes, but I thought it was just an explanation for male behavior in general.
1) People are living longer
2) People are retiring from their careers earlier
3) Young people are taking longer to settle down into a career
4) Stay-at-home moms or dads are making a comeback
The result is that federal income tax and payroll tax burdens are falling on a declining percentage of our nation's population.
Ping list for the discussion of the politics and social (and sometimes nostalgic) aspects that directly effects Generation Reagan / Generation-X (Those born from 1965-1981) including all the spending previous generations (i.e. The Baby Boomers) are doing that Gen-X and Y will end up paying for.
Freep mail me to be added or dropped. See my home page for details and previous articles.
Don't listen to those people on this thread trying to tell you are too young to marry. It is so ridiculous that 24 is considered too young by many in our society. Go for it. Just make sure before you get married that you and she are on the same page about your values and family plans.
Good luck and God bless.
Housing prices in the suburban South are reasonable, as long as your housing expectations are reasonable. I'm rather puzzled to find newlyweds living in the same model house as my family of 10, but maybe they had lots of money saved up ...
I hope you find a suitable young woman soon. Unfortunately, my daughters are too young for you!
People at the age of 24 simply do not have the life experiences that older folks do. That's not to say that this person needs to be a playboy and shack up everywhere he can. But, to be married successfully you have to have a sense of yourself in terms of who you are and who and what you are not. You generally don't figure that out till later on down the road.
Well, whether you're married or single, you're going to have to pay for food, shelter, clothing, insurance, etc. Some things become more expensive when you're married, and some less. Having children certainly increases your expenses, but your income should also be going up, if you are working steadily at a trade or profession.
The "scary" costs associated with marriage - an expensive wedding, a great big new house, lots of jewelry - are all avoidable if you choose a woman with good sense. My husband and I got married when he was 26 and I was 22. Then I put him through college, while working two jobs and having two children.
We rented apartments or houses for the first 8 years. This gives you the flexibility to move, for job opportunities or financial savings, that you might not have if you own a house.
When the Lord is ready for you to meet her (or conversely when she is ready to meet you), then everything will fall into place according to His plan. Until then, be patient and let Him prepare you. I didn't find the love of my life until I was 33 and had basically given up. Besides, to be blessed by God, one must do all that one may to position himself/herself to receive it. That philosophy has never let me down. :o)
This is exactly what people told me when I was 24. A decade later, I still hate being single!
James, my advice to you as a brother in Christ is to delight yourself in the Lord, in His works and in His will. The right woman will come along! God always provides, just as He works all things in life for the good of those He's chosen (Romans 8:28).
May He bless you and crown your efforts with success!
TR76
I don't think I've ever managed to so thoroughly hijack a thread, completely accidentally to boot, in all my FReeper days.
Postponing a lifelong commitment for a decade as you mature and develop as a person isn't a bad thing at all, and it doesn't mean you aren't romantic.
It's ok to be selective, but don't be prohibitively selective. Be realistic in your expectations. Hold attainable standards.
Dating more will help you from falling too quickly and too deeply for a woman. It' not a good place to be and messes with your clarity of thought.
I'm a romantic, sentimental guy, and that has nothing to do with marrying young.
Food for thought for you.
It is not he cost of housing that is delaying marriage, but the cost of divorce.
Hell, you can still shack up in shack and have sex.
No sir ree, it is not housing costs but lawyer expenses.
Watch for housing prices to come down over the next 50 years. The developed world just isn't having kids and even in the developing world the birthrates are falling. Give it another generation or two and there will be a surplus of housing.
Hate is a strong word - why do hate being single? What do you hate about your single life that you can't address or change, shy of marriage?
I didn't advocate always being single, I just said there is an advantage to postponing that commitment for a while. Dating different people is fun. When you meet a person who you would like as a mate, go for it for sure.
I like being single and I expect to like being married.
The world is filled with people who run their lives schedules established by other people.
Maybe ... but what we're seeing now is bigger and more expensive houses with fewer people in them. This raises the prices, because a couple with two incomes and no children can generally spend much more money on a house than a couple with one income and eight children can.
Fewer, later, and less-stable marriages also mean that more housing units have a single occupant, so the total number of units has to go up.
I'm glad I didn't listen to people who gave me that kind of advice. I was married at 22.5, married almost four years now.
Get married early, go to church, buy a home, have children and prosper.
18 is the age of adulthood and delaying it is simply childish.
Does it have to be in that order?
Well, by that standard I am setting a schedule for him myself! That's not my intention, though - just go with the flow. There's no rush to the altar. That's all I am saying. :-)
Nope. Use the order you prefer. The key concept is early.
Except that you'd want to get married before having children, irrespective of when you decide to buy a house and/or prosper :-).
I have to disagree with your thesis. I married my wife when she was 20 and I was 19. Like all marriages, we had a period of adjustment while we learned to make accomodations to each others habits.
Most of the men I've seen have two problems when they wait into their 30's to get married.
(1) They are set in their ways and find it hard to make the necessary adjustments to sharing decision making with a wife.
(2) From what I've heard, the pickin's get pretty slim for women in your age group. You either get unmarried women that are as self-centered as you are or ones that have been through the marriage process one or more times.
After almost 40 years together my wife went home to heaven in February. I'm 59, and can't imagine living alone for the rest of the time I have left. I imagine that in about a year or so, I'll start socializing. I'm a bit afraid to go back into that world, but when I do I think I'll be looking for another "Promisekeeper" who understands that there is only one way to end a marriage (feet first).
My main advice for the young is to chose well (or get lucky like I did) and marry young. That way you start out growing together and don't have to unlearn a lot of bad habits.
I agree - don't race through life, and don't stall through it either.
Ah dooo believe that they's waaaaay too much navel-gazin' goin' on 'round heah.
LOL!
In 2006 Japan's population will start to decline and over the next decade we will be able to see the affect this has on Japan's real estate markets. America is about a generation behind Japan in terms of birthrates and we have allowed massive immigration to make up for our lowered fertility, but the time is coming when we will see a declining population as well.
40 years ago the times were much, much different in terms of societel complexity and financial matters. It is a fact that people's earning potential is limited earlier in life and in today's world a HS diploma doesn't take you really far. If you want to have a house to raise your family you simply have to earn some cash. If you want for your wife to be able to stay home and raise your kids then you need to earn. That doesn't mean you need to make $200K a year but you aren't going to get far on $30K a year which is where most people in the early 20s are salary slotted.
I will also disagree with some of your other comments. A man in his 30's who has accomplished something is not so easily led around by his ego or his insecurities. A man with something to prove is actually still a boy. And, for those men who have not developed security in their masculine identity they are too easily swayed by women who's needs and wants are ever changing.
Also, who says that you have to marry a women in your own age range? Yes, pickings are a bit slimmer but then again, I wouldn't give two cents for most of the younger chicks out there today either.
#1 Only date women who share your values. That is a fundamental basis for a marriage.
#2. No sex before marriage.(See #1) Sex before marriage short circuits the natural course of the relationship. You also want to show the woman that you are man enough to control yourself. A woman worth marrying will appreciate that.
#3. Don't let love cloud your good sense. Pay attention to how a woman interacts with other people. If she argues constantly with her family, gossips about coworkers, or treats the waiter at the restaurant like a serf, she will not be good wife/mother material. Remember it will largely be her personality which will be imprinted on your kids. Also, bad-mouthing former boyfriends is a bad sign.(She may soon be bad-mouthing YOU to her next boyfriend).
#4. Don't oversell. Don't lead a woman on if you are not truly interested. Be fair.
Actually, I am somewhat serious about my comment concerning navel-gazing. I have seen so many people of this current generation that don't seem to get the real meaning of marriage and raising a family and they seem to spend a whole lot of time debating factors that don't really matter. Most of the factors will change in your late twenties anyway and they are not under your control.
God designed us to be married and we should take the opportunity to see that His plan for us is fulfilled.
Those are exactly, almost verbatim, the principles I have for dating. Good to see I'm not totally nuts.
Another issue to consider is the state of people today and how the developments over the last 40 or so years have changed society. We are not 35 years or so into the age of divorce and the effects are rather chilling. We are also into our 4th decade of feminism and the destruction that has wrought.
I see people being far more confused about their choices and with good reason.
You'll also get to have the satisfaction of seeing your grandchildren grow up while you're still healthy enough to participate.
Excellent points, although I don't think our experience will necessarily parallel Japan's. Unless there's a major cultural change (or invasion), Japan is not going to have much immigration, so a lower absolute population there is a real probability.
The United States does have immigration, and we can assume that will continue. It's true that at the moment, many immigrants are Mexican and poor. However, that may not always be the case; also, a poor Mexican today may be a rich Mexican in 15 years, with hard work and frugality. Will rich Mexicans want 4,000 sqft brick boxes in the suburbs? Only time will tell ...
Only one person can figure out if you are mature enough. You. My advice, as a recently engaged 29yearold, is take your time and be satisfied where you are at in your life. That is not the same as 'wait till you are older'. Just have a mind set that is not putting extra pressure on you to be married NOW. Being somewhat content with your singleness but interested in more will give you a certain level of confidence (women dig that). Oh, and DON'T settle! That is the problem with wanting to get married as soon as possible. You might want to settle on something you really know is not right. Don't settle for less and don't compromise your standards.
I agree with your points. It's true that I wasn't especially mature or well-prepared for marriage at 22, but I don't think another 10 years of single life would have helped all that much. Being married and having children is a "maturing" experience, and I've got the gray hair to prove it :-).
You are making far too many generalizations about people in their 30s.
Yeah...It'll be so cool getting solictations from AARP in the mail...along with your kids high school tutition bill when you're in your fifties! ;o)
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