Skip to comments.Man did not rescue child for fear of 'pervert' slur
Posted on 03/21/2006 6:38:34 PM PST by iPod Shuffle
Man did not rescue child for fear of 'pervert' slur
A BRICKLAYER who passed a toddler walking alone in a village shortly before her fatal fall into a pond said yesterday he did not stop to help in case people thought he was trying to abduct her.
Clive Peachey, from Cornwall, told an inquest jury in Stratford-upon-Avon that he had passed two-year-old girl, Abby Rae, in his van shortly after 10am on 28 November, 2002.
This was just moments after the toddler disappeared from the Ready Teddy Go nursery in the Warwickshire village of Lower Brailes, according to staff.
Abby was found an hour later in an algae-covered garden pond and rescued by her mother, Victoria Rae.
She was taken to Birmingham Children's Hospital by air ambulance but was pronounced dead.
Mr Peachey, of Liskeard, told the inquest he had passed the little girl as she tottered towards the road in High Street.
He said: "I kept thinking I should go back. The reason I didn't go back was because I thought people might think I was trying to abduct her.
"I was convinced her parents were driving around and had found her."
Mrs Rae, 36, wept as Mr Peachey gave his evidence to the packed hearing.
She had earlier read emotionally from a statement as she relived the moment she dragged her daughter from the pond.
Two nursery employees had gone into the garden during their search but told the inquest they did not see the pond because it was covered in green vegetation.
The inquest was adjourned until today.
So far -- thru the first 50 responses -- no one has mentioned the neglect of the day care staff and are placing all the blame on the man.
I would like to think that I would have reacted differently, but since all men are considered potentials rapists and child molestors, I might not have gone beyond making a phone call and keeping an eye on the girl.
Yup. I find myself constantly evaluating situations to make sure I don't find myself in a scenario that could be misconstrued. For instance, I run, and when I do I avoid running on the path through the community's playground unless I see adults present lest some kid gets hurt or abducted and someone reports that they "saw this guy in the playground with those kids earlier". Sad that this is the first sort of thing that comes to mind these days, but that's where we are.
Had that happen, too. Turned out she went out the back door while her family went out front door. She thought they'd left without her. She knew her parent's phone number (but couldn't dial it, she was so shaken. Dialed 'em up and her mom was there thirty seconds later.
When I was 8 years old, I saw some movie on Wonderful World of Disney about this kid leaving home and walking across the desert. Looked cool.
So, I decided to run away from home.
I took a couple of friends of mine and we got as far as the Pizza Hut 6 blocks away. We hung out there for hours, until way after dark.
Some kind lady asked us what we were doing there, three 8 year kids and it was almost 9:00 pm. We told her we were going to run away as soon as we could figure out where to go.
She hustled us into her car and made us tell her where are houses were, and she took us home.
That was 1968. Not a chance in Hades anyone would dare to do that today.
Not a chance.
Are people "judgmental" like that in England? Isn't everything/anything ok?
I never gave kids much thought until my first daughter was born 14 years ago. She was such a joy, I just fell in love with little girls.
I adore the little critters, and watching my daughter and her friends play was so much fun, and such a refreshing change from the hectic cut-throat career world.
But, I simply refuse to be seen watching kids play in public. It isn't worth the stigma.
At the pediatrician's office a few months ago, these precious little girls about 3 years-old were playing with some of the toys in the waiting room, and I started watching them and got sentimental about when my girl was their age. I got lost in the moment, and caught myself after a minute, and returned to my magazine.
Thank goodness no one saw me.
When my son was in elementary school, and I did my share as chaperone of many school trips....
..his teacher (who was revered, trusted and loved) told me the teachers had been told 'hands off' with these little kiddoes.
No hugging, no touching...etc.
I was once on a schoolbus trip and a small child fell asleep and was about to fall into the aisle...
..not one teacher went to adjust her or cuddle her....
..so I did.
This has what it has come to!!!---Life has gotten very ridiculous!
That really sucks, but you did the right thing.
My mom likes to tell the story about me, when I was around three years old. Early one morning while everyone was still asleep, I slid a chair from the dining room to the front door of our apartment. I climbed up, unchained the door, and let myself out. I proceeded to the median of a four lane highway. Standing there wearing only a shirt and underwear, I drew some attention. A man stopped and figured I must've came from the apartments.
When the man walked me back, our downstairs neighbor saw me and took me back to my apartment. He knocked on the door, and when my mom answered he asked if she was missing anything. When she said no, he told her to look around. After the horror of realizing my absence, the man handed me over to her. I'm just thankful this happened back
then, and not now.
Not long ago I was in a public restroom and there was a little boy trying to dry his hands.
I picked him up and held him so he could get his hands under the blow dryer, then let him down and he left.
When I stepped out of the restroom, he and his mother were there near the door and the little boy smiled with glee and shouted, 'Mommy! There's the man who did it!'
You can imagine my horror at that being yelled out in public!
Although there was never anything more said or done, you can bet that I'm not so quick to be helpful anymore.
I smell a lawsuit coming against the staff of the nursery.
My brother was involved in Little League, and he had a kid on one of his teams (I guess aged 7 or 8 yrs) who was climbing over a fence and slipped and got injured, and had a tear through the crotch area of his pants.
The kid was screaming bloody murder, and my brother couldn't see anything through the tear, so he grabbed the kids pants and went to pull them down to see if the kid had been impaled.
He told me, the first thought as he grabbed the kids pants was..."uh oh...what if someone accuses me of something improper..."
How sad is that?
I asked the kid where she lived and what her phone # was but all she did was cry and shake her head no. When she first saw me, she started running at me with arms outstretched as if to hug me, or for me to pick her up. I was rather taken aback by it all, as you might imagine, and rather sharply told her to stop and keep away. The crying started instantly and kept up until the kid went away. Unfortunately, the crying did not help allay the suspicions of the cop...
I felt bad for the kid, but what was I supposed to do? I wouldn't not help a kid that seemed in peril, but I'd just keep my wits about me as best as possible depending on circumstances.
bump to your post.
Sorry, I disagree. Most people do not look at all men that way. They realize SOME men are that way, and therefore, I do understand the reluctance on the part of the man who passed her to offer her help, that people might believe he was one of those men.
But I totally agree that people would blame him and not the daycare staff is missing the point and utterly outrageous.
What a glorious victory for modern feminism.
Check out #171. I didn't mean that all people consider all men to be this way, but that the suspicions are there often enough to make a man wary of getting involved.
Then we agree. : )
But frankly, feminism created more of the kind of men it hoped to eradicate which did not bode well for women. In fact, it is my contention and always will be, that feminism was far more harmful to women.
It is the men who whine feminism ONLY hurts them, and believe it is only men who are hurt in divorce, or relationships, who irk me.
And the men I know who are victimized by spouses, are far angrier than women I know victimized by spouses.
That saying about scorned women is in my experience far more applicable to men.
I am glad to hear it, but every guy in this thread who received a grilling or even a nasty look in return for trying to help a child was describing an encouter with someone who didn't "feel for someone in that situation." The post-feminist rule is, "Treat strange men as molesters."
This thread describes a toxic psychological reality that receives very little attention in the media. The MSM seems to have more interest in promoting this sort of misandry than in critically examining it.
In fact, it is my contention and always will be, that feminism was far more harmful to women.
You may be right, but that is a separate subject.
It is the men who whine feminism ONLY hurts them, and believe it is only men who are hurt in divorce, or relationships, who irk me.
Yet another subject. I was certainly not trying to turn this into some sort of "my victim group is more victimized than your victim group" competition.
Something caused that driver to consciously override his natural instinct to protect the little girl. He made the wrong decision, but it was a very understandable mistake. His fears were rational.
I believe that decades of promotion of feminist bigotry is responsible for the widespread belief that "strange men are molesters," and that this excellent thread shows the widespread resentment of that bigotry.
"I believe that decades of promotion of feminist bigotry is responsible for the widespread belief that "strange men are molesters," and that this excellent thread shows the widespread resentment of that bigotry."
It's getting to the point that I don't want to be with anyone else's children alone and I'm a woman. I believe it's more than just feminism. It's also the current reality of child molestation.
OK, fair enough.
Outside of wartime such action would be of dubious legality. Most of the fundamental features of American law (e.g. trial by jury, Habeas Corpus, etc) are taken from long-standing traditions of English Common law.
That is what I thought, but perhaps since England doesn't have a constitu, ah, a written constitution, they are less clearly protected and easier to violate. Also, who is going to define wartime--would now count?
Good. Sorry for any misunderstanding. Sometimes I type faster than I think.
I'm a mother, too, and I fully understand.
Then there are the times when you try to help a kid who appears lost, only to be snapped-at by the mama. Example: Last summer, I kept chasing a 4yo boy out of a parking lot back into the park to play. Finally, I walked him over to his mom. Some guy who saw what I was doing said, "You're wasting your time." Sure enough, it turns out mama was TELLING him to go play in the parking lot :-0 and couldn't understand my reaction. I walked away, and the guy said, "See, I told you."
I asked them, "What was I supposed to do? Just let the kid wander around lost and not say anything?
Luckily for me the kid was old enough to tell them that "the man found me when I was lost". When the mother was located and brought in to retrieve her child (and it really wasn't her fault - she looked away for 5 seconds and the kid was gone), she grabbed the kid and glared at me like I had tried to snatch her kid. I told her next time I'd just let the kid wander away. She finally thawed a bit, but never did thank me.
I didn't save the kid for in order to be thanked, but it certainly would have been a nice gesture.
Too many people are raising their kids to be terrified of strangers, when statistics show that the vast majority of kidnappers and child molesters are NOT strangers - but people the parents know and trust.
That theory posits that in the type of interaction you describe, there is a victim (the child in the case you cite), the persecutor (mother), and a (would-be) rescuer (you). As soon as the rescuer tries to step in to stop a terrible situation, the victim and the persecutor turn on the rescuer and make them a victim.
Watch domestic disputes on "Cops" and you'll see exactly what I mean. I've heard that more cops are hurt in domestic disputes than in any other situation they encounter.
Makes sense to me. That's why a lot of people avoid "helping" in domestic disputes, and I can't say I blame them.
I did make a decision that day never to step in again. It just seemed so pointless. I'm chasing the child out of the parking lot, and then his mother is chasing him back into it.
Maybe she was feeling guilty about losing her child, and you just became the convenient scapegoat. Even though a child can wander off easily - you just have to turn your head for a few seconds, like you said - that doesn't mean a parent won't feel guilty about it. Maybe it was easier for her to suspect you rather than blame herself for her child wandering off.