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'Demanding' Kerry Won't Do Ketchup
NewsMax ^ | 29 March 2006 | Carl Limbacher

Posted on 03/28/2006 5:10:52 PM PST by Aussie Dasher

John Kerry’s list of travel demands makes Dick Cheney "look like a travelin’ rube,” according to the Smoking Gun, an online site that has obtained both the vice president’s and Senator Kerry’s lists of demands.

Kerry’s demand list was compiled during the 2004 presidential campaign and circulated by the would-be president’s advance team to prepare hotels for a Kerry visit.

The documents reveal that Kerry "hates celery,” and instructs, "NEVER order Tomato based products OR sandwiches [sic].” Thus, ketchup, the condiment that made Mrs. Heinz Kerry’s previous husband enormously wealthy, is out of the question.

Kerry does like fruits – especially bananas, apples, oranges and grapes.

If he’s going to have bottled water, and hotels are instructed that "bottled water must be everyplace that JK is,” he prefers Poland Spring. "No Evian,” hotels are instructed.

And don’t dare give him a "regular old stationery bike." "JK,” as the documents refer to him, "would prefer a recumbent bike these days.”

As for his hotel room, accommodators are told, "The phone and the ability to order movies in-suite should always be turned on and ready to go for JK’s arrival.”

"I know this may seem trivial,” the primer continues, "but these things make JK very happy.”


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Government; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: baghdadkerry; demanding; dickcheney; fauxpurplehearts; gigolo; hanoijohnny; heinz; ichabodcrane; johnfnkerry; ketchup; ketchupnitwit; lurch; paininthe; saddamsfriendkerry
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John F'n Kerry again proves what we've long known him to be - a total pain in the ass!
1 posted on 03/28/2006 5:10:56 PM PST by Aussie Dasher
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To: Aussie Dasher

"makes Dick Cheney "look like a travelin’ rube,” "

Hmmm No bias there.


2 posted on 03/28/2006 5:12:57 PM PST by gondramB (Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and unto God that which is God's.)
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To: Aussie Dasher
Image hosting by Photobucket
3 posted on 03/28/2006 5:14:27 PM PST by digger48
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To: gondramB
I'm not sure what a 'travelin' rube' is...and what the hell is a "recumbent bike"?
4 posted on 03/28/2006 5:14:32 PM PST by Aussie Dasher (The Great Ronald Reagan & John Paul II - Heaven's Dream Team!)
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To: Aussie Dasher; fieldmarshaldj; AuH2ORepublican; Kuksool; Dan from Michigan; A. Pole; ...
John Kerry is nothing more than a high maintenance trophy husband.
5 posted on 03/28/2006 5:15:34 PM PST by Clintonfatigued (Bob Taft for Impeachment)
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To: doug from upland

This story calls for a song...


6 posted on 03/28/2006 5:16:00 PM PST by Clintonfatigued (Bob Taft for Impeachment)
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To: gondramB
Hmmm No bias there.

I took that as a knock against JFK, not Cheney. The implication being that JFK is an elitist.

7 posted on 03/28/2006 5:16:12 PM PST by Michael.SF. (Well, Kerry did win the exit polls.)
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To: Aussie Dasher
what the hell is a "recumbent bike"?
Isn't Kerry married to a recumbent Dyke?
8 posted on 03/28/2006 5:16:23 PM PST by Vigilanteman (crime would drop like a sprung trapdoor if we brought back good old-fashioned hangings)
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To: Aussie Dasher
"I'm not sure what a 'travelin' rube' is...and what the hell is a "recumbent bike"?" They are actually great for exercise.
9 posted on 03/28/2006 5:16:49 PM PST by gondramB (Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and unto God that which is God's.)
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To: Aussie Dasher
I can relate to the ketchup thing ~ worked one summer cooking up millions of chickens which were then frozen and shipped nationwide.

I couldnt' stand to eat chicken for 5 years.

Odds are few, if any, Heinz field employees use ketchup either.

10 posted on 03/28/2006 5:17:53 PM PST by muawiyah (-)
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To: Clintonfatigued
TROPHY!?!?

Is that what gigolos are called these days?

11 posted on 03/28/2006 5:18:42 PM PST by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
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To: Michael.SF.

"Kerry does like fruits". I couldn't agree more.


12 posted on 03/28/2006 5:18:46 PM PST by mmanager ("Then I cried out to God, and he heard me!")
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To: Michael.SF.
"I took that as a knock against JFK, not Cheney. The implication being that JFK is an elitist."

I think they meant it that way but I would never apply such a negative word as "rube" - I thought it showed subconscious bias in spite of their surface intent. - but I could be wrong.
13 posted on 03/28/2006 5:18:49 PM PST by gondramB (Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and unto God that which is God's.)
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To: Aussie Dasher

Look, if you're paying for a hotel room, you can order what you like. That's the beauty of the free market.


14 posted on 03/28/2006 5:19:07 PM PST by CobaltBlue (Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. Moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.)
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To: gondramB
They are actually great for exercise.

The bike, or the girl?


15 posted on 03/28/2006 5:19:46 PM PST by pageonetoo (You'll spot their posts soon enough!)
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To: Aussie Dasher
I'm not sure what a 'travelin' rube' is...

A rube, which comes from "Rhubarb", refers to somebody new to something (usually the big city), usually referring to someone from the countryside or hicks. It is (as you surmised I'm sure) decidedly not complimentary.

16 posted on 03/28/2006 5:19:54 PM PST by Michael.SF. (Well, Kerry did win the exit polls.)
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To: gondramB

So THAT is what they're called!


17 posted on 03/28/2006 5:19:58 PM PST by Aussie Dasher (The Great Ronald Reagan & John Paul II - Heaven's Dream Team!)
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To: Clintonfatigued
"John Kerry is nothing more than a high maintenance trophy husband."

Doncha mean "trophy BUNNY" ?

18 posted on 03/28/2006 5:20:00 PM PST by fieldmarshaldj (Cheney X -- Destroying the Liberal Democrat Traitors By Any Means Necessary -- Ya Dig ? Sho 'Nuff.)
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To: Aussie Dasher

Its one where he can lay flat on his back and pump the pedals. Lazy Bastid.


19 posted on 03/28/2006 5:20:08 PM PST by sgtbono2002
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To: mmanager

No Evian? What about the homeland?


20 posted on 03/28/2006 5:21:09 PM PST by mmanager ("Then I cried out to God, and he heard me!")
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To: pageonetoo

"The bike, or the girl? "

Why the bike, of course.... I had to go through hundreds of pictures to find one that showed the bike off perfectly. :)


21 posted on 03/28/2006 5:21:20 PM PST by gondramB (Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and unto God that which is God's.)
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To: fieldmarshaldj

LMAO--that photo op ranks right up there with Michael Dukakis's tank ride!


22 posted on 03/28/2006 5:21:38 PM PST by Clintonfatigued (Bob Taft for Impeachment)
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To: Aussie Dasher

What a homo.


23 posted on 03/28/2006 5:21:48 PM PST by Future Snake Eater (The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.)
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To: Michael.SF.

Fair dinkum, I learn something new every day. Thank you!


24 posted on 03/28/2006 5:21:49 PM PST by Aussie Dasher (The Great Ronald Reagan & John Paul II - Heaven's Dream Team!)
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To: Aussie Dasher
Kerry J. Blige?
25 posted on 03/28/2006 5:22:08 PM PST by pogo101
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To: CobaltBlue
Look, if you're paying for a hotel room, you can order what you like.

Small correction:

Look, if you're paying enough for a hotel room, you can order what you like.

I still can't get GlenMorangie, neat, ice on the side, please, delivered to my room at Motel Six. But at least the lights are on.

26 posted on 03/28/2006 5:24:00 PM PST by Michael.SF. (Well, Kerry did win the exit polls.)
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To: Aussie Dasher

Kerry doesn't eat Heinz:)


27 posted on 03/28/2006 5:24:47 PM PST by wrathof59
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To: Aussie Dasher
booo...

28 posted on 03/28/2006 5:25:33 PM PST by Chode (American Hedonist )
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To: Aussie Dasher
Fair dinkum

You know, you are never 'fluent' in a 'foreign' language until you know the slang and you Aussies are awesome with your slang!

29 posted on 03/28/2006 5:26:28 PM PST by Michael.SF. (Well, Kerry did win the exit polls.)
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To: wrathof59

She prefers "Hunt" :)~


30 posted on 03/28/2006 5:26:44 PM PST by mmanager ("Then I cried out to God, and he heard me!")
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Comment #31 Removed by Moderator

To: mmanager

I meant the plural version "H(C)unt's"


32 posted on 03/28/2006 5:28:49 PM PST by mmanager ("Then I cried out to God, and he heard me!")
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To: Aussie Dasher
"NEVER order Tomato based products OR sandwiches [sic].” Thus, ketchup, the condiment that made Mrs. Heinz Kerry’s previous husband enormously wealthy, is out of the question."

That's right. Ketchup is only for the "Little People".

33 posted on 03/28/2006 5:29:25 PM PST by melt (Someday, they'll wish their Jihad... Jihadn't.)
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To: wrathof59

I can't blame him for that...


34 posted on 03/28/2006 5:30:13 PM PST by Aussie Dasher (The Great Ronald Reagan & John Paul II - Heaven's Dream Team!)
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To: dead
"The phone and the ability to order movies in-suite should always be turned on and ready to go for JK’s arrival.”

Somehow I can't see Lurch watching porn

"Look Theresa, maybe you could do that"
"OK, call up the bell boy".

35 posted on 03/28/2006 5:30:47 PM PST by AppyPappy (If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem.)
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To: gondramB
I don't know about the bike, but could sure go for some "exercise" with her!
36 posted on 03/28/2006 5:31:06 PM PST by lesser_satan
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To: sgtbono2002
Hey, I've got a recumbant trike (a Re-Trike, to be specific) and it's no easy ride! The frame is heavy and going uphill is a major workout.

In case you were wondering, I picked it over a regular bike because I can pedal it with my heels, something foot reconstruction made necessary.

The thing earns me more than a few looks while I'm out...!

37 posted on 03/28/2006 5:31:27 PM PST by Kieri (Dump "Dangerously Incompetent" Debbie, Support Keith Butler for Senate)
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To: Javelina

"LOL - Yah all that liberal Newsmax bias... ;)"

{Chuckle} That is certainly a problem we don't have.

But the term "rube" was applied to the VP by The Smoking Gun and only quoted by NewsMax.


38 posted on 03/28/2006 5:34:55 PM PST by gondramB (Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and unto God that which is God's.)
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To: Aussie Dasher

I'm a traveling rube. Nothing quite like being dirt broke and fancy free student. Doing it this summer. Just going to camp across the country, sleep in the backseat of my car, shave in the morning at reststops. Maybe a $25 hotel when I'm looking to shower that night.

Hey, I've been to all 50 states, my car gets 45 to the gallon, and life is good. ;) Just cruisin down the backroads, camping where I like the scenery.

Only way to see the West.


39 posted on 03/28/2006 5:39:25 PM PST by CheyennePress
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To: Aussie Dasher
and what the hell is a "recumbent bike"

a recumbent bike is a device that that puts the rider in a position to perform auto-fellatio.

40 posted on 03/28/2006 5:41:03 PM PST by j_tull (Remember, before rap came along, we thought disco sucked.)
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To: CheyennePress

Sounds mighty good to me!


41 posted on 03/28/2006 5:41:36 PM PST by Aussie Dasher (The Great Ronald Reagan & John Paul II - Heaven's Dream Team!)
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To: Michael.SF.

"A rube, which comes from "Rhubarb", refers to somebody new to something (usually the big city), usually referring to someone from the countryside or hicks."
Thats what the Wallet Inspector called me after he took my wallet in for repairs.


42 posted on 03/28/2006 5:53:33 PM PST by Holicheese (Hey whitey, wheres your hat?)
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To: muawiyah
Odds are few, if any, Heinz field employees use ketchup either.

Kerry could be considered a "Heinz employee" in his role as "chief poodle" but as far as ketchup (or catsup) is concerned, JFK never worked an honest day in his life, his aversion would be to work, not ketchup.
43 posted on 03/28/2006 5:57:43 PM PST by JayNorth
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To: Aussie Dasher
Recumbent bike:
44 posted on 03/28/2006 5:58:42 PM PST by UnklGene
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To: Aussie Dasher
"NEVER order Tomato based products OR sandwiches [sic].”

What's a "tomato based sandwich"? Or does the guy just not eat sandwiches? Who doesn't eat sandwiches, for cryin' out loud?

45 posted on 03/28/2006 6:00:24 PM PST by hsalaw
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To: CheyennePress
"Maybe a $25 hotel when I'm looking to shower that night."

Some of the rest stops have automatic sprinkler systems (Cali, for example)- sleep on the lawns and save that $25. shower bill (btw, motels aren't $25. any more- at least not motels with showers).

46 posted on 03/28/2006 6:02:58 PM PST by fat city ("Journalists are sloppy, lazy and on expense account")
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To: Clintonfatigued

"John Kerry is nothing more than a high maintenance trophy husband."

What contest in hell did Teresa win?


47 posted on 03/28/2006 6:04:35 PM PST by GoDuke
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To: CheyennePress; Aussie Dasher
I'm a traveling rube

I don't think so. Well at least not according to this dictionary definition:

rube [ roob ] (plural rubes)
noun
Definitions:

an offensive term for somebody who is regarded as naive or unsophisticated, especially somebody from a rural area who is not used to city ways ( slang )

[Late 19th century. Shortening of the forename Reuben]

Just like you can only be a 'rookie' for one year, I don't think one can stay a 'rube' for very long.

48 posted on 03/28/2006 6:05:32 PM PST by Michael.SF. (Well, Kerry did win the exit polls.)
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To: Aussie Dasher
and what the hell is a "recumbent bike"

Don't know, but it appears that part of it is bent.

Wait, that's Clintoon's schtick.

Part of the bike must have been in Cambodia.

49 posted on 03/28/2006 6:19:11 PM PST by Ole Okie
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To: GoDuke

LOL!


50 posted on 03/28/2006 6:22:07 PM PST by stevio (Red-Blooded Crunchy Con, American Male (NRA))
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