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'Demanding' Kerry Won't Do Ketchup
NewsMax ^ | 29 March 2006 | Carl Limbacher

Posted on 03/28/2006 5:10:52 PM PST by Aussie Dasher

John Kerry’s list of travel demands makes Dick Cheney "look like a travelin’ rube,” according to the Smoking Gun, an online site that has obtained both the vice president’s and Senator Kerry’s lists of demands.

Kerry’s demand list was compiled during the 2004 presidential campaign and circulated by the would-be president’s advance team to prepare hotels for a Kerry visit.

The documents reveal that Kerry "hates celery,” and instructs, "NEVER order Tomato based products OR sandwiches [sic].” Thus, ketchup, the condiment that made Mrs. Heinz Kerry’s previous husband enormously wealthy, is out of the question.

Kerry does like fruits – especially bananas, apples, oranges and grapes.

If he’s going to have bottled water, and hotels are instructed that "bottled water must be everyplace that JK is,” he prefers Poland Spring. "No Evian,” hotels are instructed.

And don’t dare give him a "regular old stationery bike." "JK,” as the documents refer to him, "would prefer a recumbent bike these days.”

As for his hotel room, accommodators are told, "The phone and the ability to order movies in-suite should always be turned on and ready to go for JK’s arrival.”

"I know this may seem trivial,” the primer continues, "but these things make JK very happy.”


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Government; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: baghdadkerry; demanding; dickcheney; fauxpurplehearts; gigolo; hanoijohnny; heinz; ichabodcrane; johnfnkerry; ketchup; ketchupnitwit; lurch; paininthe; saddamsfriendkerry
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To: pageonetoo

"The bike, or the girl? "

Why the bike, of course.... I had to go through hundreds of pictures to find one that showed the bike off perfectly. :)


21 posted on 03/28/2006 5:21:20 PM PST by gondramB (Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and unto God that which is God's.)
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To: fieldmarshaldj

LMAO--that photo op ranks right up there with Michael Dukakis's tank ride!


22 posted on 03/28/2006 5:21:38 PM PST by Clintonfatigued (Bob Taft for Impeachment)
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To: Aussie Dasher

What a homo.


23 posted on 03/28/2006 5:21:48 PM PST by Future Snake Eater (The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.)
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To: Michael.SF.

Fair dinkum, I learn something new every day. Thank you!


24 posted on 03/28/2006 5:21:49 PM PST by Aussie Dasher (The Great Ronald Reagan & John Paul II - Heaven's Dream Team!)
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To: Aussie Dasher
Kerry J. Blige?
25 posted on 03/28/2006 5:22:08 PM PST by pogo101
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To: CobaltBlue
Look, if you're paying for a hotel room, you can order what you like.

Small correction:

Look, if you're paying enough for a hotel room, you can order what you like.

I still can't get GlenMorangie, neat, ice on the side, please, delivered to my room at Motel Six. But at least the lights are on.

26 posted on 03/28/2006 5:24:00 PM PST by Michael.SF. (Well, Kerry did win the exit polls.)
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To: Aussie Dasher

Kerry doesn't eat Heinz:)


27 posted on 03/28/2006 5:24:47 PM PST by wrathof59
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To: Aussie Dasher
booo...

28 posted on 03/28/2006 5:25:33 PM PST by Chode (American Hedonist ©®)
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To: Aussie Dasher
Fair dinkum

You know, you are never 'fluent' in a 'foreign' language until you know the slang and you Aussies are awesome with your slang!

29 posted on 03/28/2006 5:26:28 PM PST by Michael.SF. (Well, Kerry did win the exit polls.)
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To: wrathof59

She prefers "Hunt" :)~


30 posted on 03/28/2006 5:26:44 PM PST by mmanager ("Then I cried out to God, and he heard me!")
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Comment #31 Removed by Moderator

To: mmanager

I meant the plural version "H(C)unt's"


32 posted on 03/28/2006 5:28:49 PM PST by mmanager ("Then I cried out to God, and he heard me!")
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To: Aussie Dasher
"NEVER order Tomato based products OR sandwiches [sic].” Thus, ketchup, the condiment that made Mrs. Heinz Kerry’s previous husband enormously wealthy, is out of the question."

That's right. Ketchup is only for the "Little People".

33 posted on 03/28/2006 5:29:25 PM PST by melt (Someday, they'll wish their Jihad... Jihadn't.)
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To: wrathof59

I can't blame him for that...


34 posted on 03/28/2006 5:30:13 PM PST by Aussie Dasher (The Great Ronald Reagan & John Paul II - Heaven's Dream Team!)
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To: dead
"The phone and the ability to order movies in-suite should always be turned on and ready to go for JK’s arrival.”

Somehow I can't see Lurch watching porn

"Look Theresa, maybe you could do that"
"OK, call up the bell boy".

35 posted on 03/28/2006 5:30:47 PM PST by AppyPappy (If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem.)
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To: gondramB
I don't know about the bike, but could sure go for some "exercise" with her!
36 posted on 03/28/2006 5:31:06 PM PST by lesser_satan
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To: sgtbono2002
Hey, I've got a recumbant trike (a Re-Trike, to be specific) and it's no easy ride! The frame is heavy and going uphill is a major workout.

In case you were wondering, I picked it over a regular bike because I can pedal it with my heels, something foot reconstruction made necessary.

The thing earns me more than a few looks while I'm out...!

37 posted on 03/28/2006 5:31:27 PM PST by Kieri (Dump "Dangerously Incompetent" Debbie, Support Keith Butler for Senate)
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To: Javelina

"LOL - Yah all that liberal Newsmax bias... ;)"

{Chuckle} That is certainly a problem we don't have.

But the term "rube" was applied to the VP by The Smoking Gun and only quoted by NewsMax.


38 posted on 03/28/2006 5:34:55 PM PST by gondramB (Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and unto God that which is God's.)
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To: Aussie Dasher

I'm a traveling rube. Nothing quite like being dirt broke and fancy free student. Doing it this summer. Just going to camp across the country, sleep in the backseat of my car, shave in the morning at reststops. Maybe a $25 hotel when I'm looking to shower that night.

Hey, I've been to all 50 states, my car gets 45 to the gallon, and life is good. ;) Just cruisin down the backroads, camping where I like the scenery.

Only way to see the West.


39 posted on 03/28/2006 5:39:25 PM PST by CheyennePress
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To: Aussie Dasher
and what the hell is a "recumbent bike"

a recumbent bike is a device that that puts the rider in a position to perform auto-fellatio.

40 posted on 03/28/2006 5:41:03 PM PST by j_tull (Remember, before rap came along, we thought disco sucked.)
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