Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???

Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

[DejaJude]

Heber, you have to be LDS. My Uncle was Alma.

Nope, that side of the family was from Oklahoma Indian territory. Choctaw.

[Dianna]

I can relate to your wife. I left a nice four letter last name to marry into a spelling test everytime I give my new last name.

I married out of the spelling test. It's a relief.

[PCBMan]

And let's not forget the drummer for the Electric Light Orchestra, Mr. Bev Bevan.

[HiJinx]

I made a vow to the moon and stars that I'd search the honky tonks and bars and kill the man that gave me that awful name.

Hello, Sue.
How are yew?

[bellas_sister]

Bump

[TXBubba]

LOL...at least I did get to move up the alphabet a great distance.

[cajungirl]

agreed. Patrisha bothers me alot.

[Dianna]

Diana is "Zaghaw" in African. (Yeah, right.)

But Dianna is "Malcom J". How do you suppose they figure that?

[radiohead]

Coworker was singled out a diversity training session because he was black

Wow. I'm surprised that was done. One of the first things they tell us in 'teaching for diversity' is that you don't single out people due to race, disability, whatever. jeez.

I turned down a doctoral fellowship at a school that wanted me to attend a summer program for new minority grad students. I hold a JD and 2 masters. I don't need anyone to teach me about the wonders of grad school, but because they saw the race on the application, they immediately thought I needed some kind of remediation.

I actually told the admissions committee why I was turning them down. I felt that if I went to this session, then classmates and faculty would always suspect my work - maybe I wasn't that great if I needed a summer course. I would have been handicapped before I began. Even if I did not attend the session, I didn't want to go to a place that ignored my accomplishments and saw me as a race.

[SyzygyUSA]

As a teacher in an urban middle school, my brother had his fair share of oddly named children. One was, I swear, "Crystal Shanda Lear".

The things parents do to their kids.

[philled]

This was another study in Levitt's book Freakonomics. It appears that "imaginative" names are often indicators of parent's educational and socio-economic level and predictors of the future. He examined every baby name in CA from something like 1960 (over 4 million) on (parents education level was required on birth certificate).

The book contains an index table of names from the study. I was heartened that although both my daughters' names are three syllables, the associated parental education level with them was high. So, there goes that excuse...

[Xenalyte]

No, there were NOT. Ura does not exist, nor did she ever.

[old_sage_says]

"NAME".

Back in the day when CNN had an afternoon chatroom. I used the screen name of NAMe meaning "enemy".

After my first post, I was kicked out of the chatroom. I told everyone that CNN stood for Clinton News Network. In about 5 seconds a little box appeared on my screen telling me to be nice and then I booted.

[Young Werther]

I had a secretary who had worked for the county social services dept. We were talking about the penchant for unusal names in the black community. She mentioned that one of her clients had named here girl what she heard the doctor say during the birthing process.

He exclaimed, "Here comes the placenta!"

[LS]

If it was a mixed Jewish/Japanese family, it could have been "Gentile Gaijin." That would have covered all the bases.

[DejaJude]

I have a cousin named Twig. I did find out his legal name when he got married, but I can't remember it now.

I had a grandfather that all the grandkids called Podgie. I didn't find out till I was grown that his real name was Harold.

[InsensitiveConservative]

My black friend (yes, I'm a YT claiming I have black friends) is planning on naming his baby girl Keibreeanna (Key-Bree-Anna). I suggested they name her La Cienega Boulevarda instead for more ghetto-fab glam.

[lawdude]

"I had a student named Latrina. I am not kidding. "

I recall a young black girl named Placenta!

[Xenalyte]

I can just about top that with my great-grandmother, Albertina Alaska.

[Amanda King]

Clever screen name (NAMe)... I like it!