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New Hawaii Tourism Slogan: We Promise You A Vacation Unlike Any You Can Imagine
Hawaii Reporter ^ | 03/28/2006 | Malia Zimmerman

Posted on 03/31/2006 12:15:55 AM PST by GrandmaPatriot

The Hawaii Visitor Industry spends millions of taxpayer dollars promoting the beauty of the Hawaiian Islands all around the world, but any visitor who gives up a life savings to come to Hawaii, especially over these last few weeks, could definitely have a case against the state for false advertising.

A more honest, realistic visitor campaign would go something like this:

Aloha and welcome to Hawaii where we have the highest property crime in the nation, the highest overall taxes and one of the worst illegal drug problems.

Don’t worry, our criminals rarely violently attack visitors -- they just steal your wallet, your video cameras and your suitcases any time you pull over to look at the view or go for a quick swim. No, it is not part of the visitor industry’s plan to get visitors to spend more per trip -- it is the criminals who need your stuff more than you do so they can subsidize Hawaii’s worst in the nation crystal meth habit. Don’t worry -- the state will make sure when you buy replacements for your stolen goods that you are taxed -- and taxed really thoroughly. Hawaii has the highest overall tax burden in the nation and the tax is even higher if you are a visitor who stays in a hotel or rents a car.

But no doubt, especially this Spring, you will have a memorable trip in Hawaii and see things you won’t see anywhere else in the world, (unless you are in a third world country).

There is the six straight weeks of rain, the flooding throughout the state that is sending mudslides and up to three feet of water through people’s homes and even into Kauai’s hotels, and signs throughout the windward side of Oahu and Kauai closing parks and beaches. There is the recent tornado, albeit rare, that hit Lanai, and the hail that smashed into the Big Island last week, but these weather conditions should only help mainlanders feel at home.

Spring isn’t in the air here -- it is more like a combination of the stench of raw sewage and ocean water. That is because there are the millions upon millions of gallons of sewage pouring every day over the last several days right into the Ala Wai Canal with city crews expecting this to continue for at least the next four days. The aging sewer system finally blew up, thanks to a combination of all the rain and rusted pipes, sending the raw untreated sewage into the canal and subsequently into Waikiki’s once stunning sapphire ocean. (The last mayor, Jeremy Harris, didn’t believe in basic maintenance and enjoyed raiding the sewer fund, so you, like the residents of the state, can reap the benefits.) The Ala Wai Canal, which stretches through the heart of Waikiki, is not normally clean enough to swim in, but it doesn’t reek like sewage or have millions of pieces of human feces floating in it either. But there is an upside -- visitors can go home knowing what it is like to live on the windward side of Oahu where sewage spilling from the canals into the ocean by the hundreds of thousands of gallons every time it floods, and subsequent beach closures, are common occurrences.

Want to protest the conditions here and file a complaint with the government? March down to City Hall and get in line behind around a dozen homeless people who up until Sunday when they were forced to leave, camped illegally and defecated openly in one of Oahu’s most beautiful parks. Or you can walk across the street to the state Capitol where lawmakers are deciding which taxes to increase for 2007 and get a preview for your next trip.

Yes, we live in paradise, where the Aloha Spirit is prevalent. You too can enjoy this tropical experience if you just hand over a large chunk of your life savings, plug your nose, travel light with insurance for your personal effects or with pepper spray -- since Hawaii doesn't have a conceal carry law -- and dress appropriately for muddy, flooding conditions. And if a shark doesn't take a bite out of your hide while swimming amidst the garbage and sewage, the government will certainly take a bite out of your wallet.

Aloooha!


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; News/Current Events; US: Hawaii
KEYWORDS: tourism
I have seen toilet paper among other things floating in the canal reported on the news. This is just about the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in any part of the US.
1 posted on 03/31/2006 12:15:59 AM PST by GrandmaPatriot
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To: GrandmaPatriot

If a piece of toilet paper floating in a canal is the worst thing you've seen in the US then you must not have been around much huh?


2 posted on 03/31/2006 12:40:03 AM PST by Justice
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To: GrandmaPatriot

If you think floating toilet paper is disgusting wait till you see the brown trout that go with it.


3 posted on 03/31/2006 12:45:52 AM PST by taxesareforever (Never forget Matt Maupin)
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To: GrandmaPatriot

My sister just move from San Diego to Hawaii. Prior to San Diego she lived in Oregon for 20 years and only moved to San Diego because she couldn't stand the rain anymore. I think she was in San Diego just 3 or 4 years before the move to Hawaii, and is really impressed with the weather, in a portland sort of way.


4 posted on 03/31/2006 2:39:36 AM PST by wita (truthspeaks@freerepublic.com)
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To: GrandmaPatriot
I've seen Hawaii...once...and I'm glad I did.But if I die without ever having seen it a second time,I won't feel cheated.

Florida is the place for a winter vacation,IMO.

5 posted on 03/31/2006 4:04:11 AM PST by Gay State Conservative
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To: GrandmaPatriot

Call me when Hawaii becomes a red state....I will vacation in Florida or AZ in the winters instead.


6 posted on 03/31/2006 4:23:20 AM PST by Vaquero ("An armed society is a polite society" Robert A. Heinlein)
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To: Gay State Conservative

And Florida welcomes you during your vacation.


7 posted on 03/31/2006 4:44:01 AM PST by driftdiver
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To: GrandmaPatriot

Wow, what an article. We were planning on going to Kauai this July, but with all the rain and the busted reservoir, I wonder if all the touristy things will be up and running?


8 posted on 03/31/2006 4:49:46 AM PST by caver (Yes, I did crawl out of a hole in the ground.)
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To: driftdiver
And Florida welcomes you during your vacation.

Perhaps I should just send my credits every January so as to ease the "snowbird" traffic jams on the highways. ;-)

9 posted on 03/31/2006 4:54:28 AM PST by Gay State Conservative
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To: GrandmaPatriot

should read "credit cards"


10 posted on 03/31/2006 4:56:17 AM PST by Gay State Conservative
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To: Gay State Conservative

"Perhaps I should just send my credits every January so as to ease the "snowbird" traffic jams on the highways. ;-)"

Cash works here too.

Florida has its share of problems as well. The large number of CCWs may be one reason our crime rate isn't too bad. Anyone found targeting tourists is also strung up appropriately.


11 posted on 03/31/2006 5:02:00 AM PST by driftdiver
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To: driftdiver
Anyone found targeting tourists is also strung up appropriately.

It sounds like Florida is a lot like Texas in that regard:

"If you come to Texas and kill someone,*we will kill you back*"

12 posted on 03/31/2006 5:09:27 AM PST by Gay State Conservative
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To: GrandmaPatriot

you apparently have not been to Vegas.......money + imagination = trouble.......but at least it stays in Vegas.......


13 posted on 03/31/2006 5:13:24 AM PST by jmq (Islam=Religion of Peace)
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To: GrandmaPatriot

So, does Hawaii promise "happy endings" if I go on vacation there?


14 posted on 03/31/2006 5:19:47 AM PST by Clemenza (I Just Wasn't Made for These Times)
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To: Vaquero

Are you serious. You would not go to Hawaii because of it being a blue state. Using your logic, I guess you cannot give any money towards any blue state. Is your local city blue? You can't go to any big cities in the U.S. at all or you will give money to the blue state. I have been to Wi Ki Ki (Sp?) and it was wonderful. Don't use the blue vs red to keep you from a great vacation. Obviously we want the U.S. all red, but there are some great areas in blue states as well (at least for a vacation).


15 posted on 03/31/2006 5:49:11 AM PST by napscoordinator
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To: napscoordinator
I won't go to meeting in Frisco, avoid New York and limit any Blue state as much as possible.

why? ...basically cause I can..... I've lived in Hawaii, but it's just turning into a liberal sh#t hole, and faces the same problem other liberal sh#t holes face... the parasites overwhelm the producers and leave a waste land... look at the Northeastern United States, Los Angeles, and San Diego is heading that way..

whatever libs don't eat, they sh#t on....just like flies.

16 posted on 03/31/2006 7:01:06 AM PST by Dick Vomer (liberals suck......... but it depends on what your definition of the word "suck" is.)
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To: Dick Vomer

limit any Blue state as much as possible.

I guess I just never realized that people actually do this. I respect your decision on doing this, but I just can't see blaming a state because a major city has some blue in it. I would never even have thought about not visiting New York because it is blue. This red/blue stuff just started two elections ago didn't it?


17 posted on 03/31/2006 7:19:44 AM PST by napscoordinator
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To: napscoordinator
not for me... I quit going to frisco back around 1987 or so... it was just easier and easier to avoid bullsh#t libs and not support them with my money.

Did the same thing with my corporations retirement account, dumped Schwab and use Vanguard. Pennsylvania is the lesser of two evils as far as I'm concerned.

I'd even be more willing to move all corporate plans to Texas but Vanguard is a class operation and low cost.

choke off the money to support liberal parasites, then they'll go looking for somewhere else to sponge onto...like europe..

18 posted on 03/31/2006 7:38:32 AM PST by Dick Vomer (liberals suck......... but it depends on what your definition of the word "suck" is.)
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To: GrandmaPatriot

Don’t worry, our criminals rarely violently attack visitors -- they just steal your wallet, your video cameras and your suitcases any time you pull over to look at the view or go for a quick swim. No, it is not part of the visitor industry’s plan to get visitors to spend more per trip -- it is the criminals who need your stuff more than you do so they can subsidize Hawaii’s worst in the nation crystal meth habit.

Just ask "Dog"-the Bounty Hunter.


19 posted on 03/31/2006 9:06:19 AM PST by kaktuskid
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To: GrandmaPatriot

I won a trip last year where I could choose between NYC, Florida, California, Utah and Hawaii.

Hawaii was my last choice (I went to Utah instead)


20 posted on 03/31/2006 9:09:34 AM PST by kidd
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To: Justice
If a piece of toilet paper floating in a canal is the worst thing you've seen in the US then you must not have been around much huh

I said I saw toilet paper (not a piece of toilet paper) and the other things, which I thought you could surmise, was millions of gallons of raw sewerage with feces and the smell along the canal was reported as horrendous. Hopefully there are not too many municipalities that intentionally send millions of gallons for raw sewerage into the ocean. The sewer spread all the way from Ala Moana Beach Park to Waikiki and tourists could not go into the water because of it. Not a good time for them.

21 posted on 03/31/2006 9:27:03 AM PST by GrandmaPatriot
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To: kidd

Wow!!!! That is a first. People actually vacationing in Utah? LOL.


22 posted on 03/31/2006 10:03:58 AM PST by napscoordinator
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To: napscoordinator

I loved Utah.

White water rafting.
Horseback riding.
Hiking through Arches and Canyonland national parks.
Route 128 near Moab is probably THE most beautiful road in the country.
Great food, nice resort, very friendly people.

And its a conservative's paradise.


23 posted on 03/31/2006 10:11:44 AM PST by kidd
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To: napscoordinator; Dick Vomer

I live 50 miles from NYC and avoid it like the plague, even though I spent the first 15 years of my life there. I live in a blue state and would move in a "New York Minute" if it werent for family (inlaw) ties. I only drive through NYC, now, on my way to one of the Red counties here in NY that still has some wild places. I have a hunting camp there.


24 posted on 03/31/2006 2:07:16 PM PST by Vaquero ("An armed society is a polite society" Robert A. Heinlein)
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To: GrandmaPatriot
We Promise You A Vacation Unlike Any You Can Imagine

I don't know, I've got a big imagination.

25 posted on 03/31/2006 2:11:35 PM PST by Godzilla (Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.)
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To: kidd

I love Utah, too, but their taxes are really high. Higher than Massachusetts. It's because they have so many children to educate, in part.


26 posted on 03/31/2006 2:11:55 PM PST by HostileTerritory
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To: HostileTerritory
It's because they have so many children to educate, in part.

and wives too.

27 posted on 03/31/2006 2:37:59 PM PST by Vaquero ("An armed society is a polite society" Robert A. Heinlein)
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To: caver
We were planning on going to Kauai this July, but with all the rain and the busted reservoir, I wonder if all the touristy things will be up and running?

Not to worry. I suspect the author of the piece is suffering a bit of seasonal affective disorder after all the rain. This is the most wonderful place I've ever lived (and with an Army husband, I've been in several). Yes, it was a really bad rainy season. We get those every 10 years or so. Our "tornado" damaged a couple of structures if I recall. How many did that one in Tennessee knock over yesterday? Yes, the infrastructure is aging thanks to years of corruption. @#$% happens. But to try describe Hawaii based on the two or three bad weeks we had is like the 6 blind men describing the elephant by which part they could touch.

28 posted on 04/08/2006 8:12:00 PM PDT by Spyder
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To: Spyder

We've been to Oahu and Maui before.

Which island do you live on?


29 posted on 04/10/2006 8:54:37 AM PDT by caver (Yes, I did crawl out of a hole in the ground.)
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To: GrandmaPatriot

And just make sure not to go on "Kill Haole Day."


30 posted on 04/10/2006 8:55:36 AM PDT by dfwgator (Florida Gators - 2006 NCAA Men's Basketball Champions)
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To: caver

Oahu - about 12 miles west of the airport. The dry side, and we made certain to purchase in an area well away from the flood plains, LOL.


31 posted on 04/10/2006 9:11:00 AM PDT by Spyder
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To: Spyder

OK, thanks for the info. Might have to look further about going to Kauai.


32 posted on 04/10/2006 9:12:42 AM PDT by caver (Yes, I did crawl out of a hole in the ground.)
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To: dfwgator
And just make sure not to go on "Kill Haole Day."

I think that's pretty much a thing of the past, thank goodness. Our kids have gone to an excellent Christian school here and really haven't experienced much racism at all. Our son went to the public high school for driver ed in one of the more heavily local schools on the island - no problems being haole there either. Sure, racism still exists here but I feel a lot less of it here than I might in downtown Detroit or DC.

33 posted on 04/10/2006 9:16:34 AM PDT by Spyder
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