Skip to comments.New Hawaii Tourism Slogan: We Promise You A Vacation Unlike Any You Can Imagine
Posted on 03/31/2006 12:15:55 AM PST by GrandmaPatriot
The Hawaii Visitor Industry spends millions of taxpayer dollars promoting the beauty of the Hawaiian Islands all around the world, but any visitor who gives up a life savings to come to Hawaii, especially over these last few weeks, could definitely have a case against the state for false advertising.
A more honest, realistic visitor campaign would go something like this:
Aloha and welcome to Hawaii where we have the highest property crime in the nation, the highest overall taxes and one of the worst illegal drug problems.
Dont worry, our criminals rarely violently attack visitors -- they just steal your wallet, your video cameras and your suitcases any time you pull over to look at the view or go for a quick swim. No, it is not part of the visitor industrys plan to get visitors to spend more per trip -- it is the criminals who need your stuff more than you do so they can subsidize Hawaiis worst in the nation crystal meth habit. Dont worry -- the state will make sure when you buy replacements for your stolen goods that you are taxed -- and taxed really thoroughly. Hawaii has the highest overall tax burden in the nation and the tax is even higher if you are a visitor who stays in a hotel or rents a car.
But no doubt, especially this Spring, you will have a memorable trip in Hawaii and see things you wont see anywhere else in the world, (unless you are in a third world country).
There is the six straight weeks of rain, the flooding throughout the state that is sending mudslides and up to three feet of water through peoples homes and even into Kauais hotels, and signs throughout the windward side of Oahu and Kauai closing parks and beaches. There is the recent tornado, albeit rare, that hit Lanai, and the hail that smashed into the Big Island last week, but these weather conditions should only help mainlanders feel at home.
Spring isnt in the air here -- it is more like a combination of the stench of raw sewage and ocean water. That is because there are the millions upon millions of gallons of sewage pouring every day over the last several days right into the Ala Wai Canal with city crews expecting this to continue for at least the next four days. The aging sewer system finally blew up, thanks to a combination of all the rain and rusted pipes, sending the raw untreated sewage into the canal and subsequently into Waikikis once stunning sapphire ocean. (The last mayor, Jeremy Harris, didnt believe in basic maintenance and enjoyed raiding the sewer fund, so you, like the residents of the state, can reap the benefits.) The Ala Wai Canal, which stretches through the heart of Waikiki, is not normally clean enough to swim in, but it doesnt reek like sewage or have millions of pieces of human feces floating in it either. But there is an upside -- visitors can go home knowing what it is like to live on the windward side of Oahu where sewage spilling from the canals into the ocean by the hundreds of thousands of gallons every time it floods, and subsequent beach closures, are common occurrences.
Want to protest the conditions here and file a complaint with the government? March down to City Hall and get in line behind around a dozen homeless people who up until Sunday when they were forced to leave, camped illegally and defecated openly in one of Oahus most beautiful parks. Or you can walk across the street to the state Capitol where lawmakers are deciding which taxes to increase for 2007 and get a preview for your next trip.
Yes, we live in paradise, where the Aloha Spirit is prevalent. You too can enjoy this tropical experience if you just hand over a large chunk of your life savings, plug your nose, travel light with insurance for your personal effects or with pepper spray -- since Hawaii doesn't have a conceal carry law -- and dress appropriately for muddy, flooding conditions. And if a shark doesn't take a bite out of your hide while swimming amidst the garbage and sewage, the government will certainly take a bite out of your wallet.
If a piece of toilet paper floating in a canal is the worst thing you've seen in the US then you must not have been around much huh?
If you think floating toilet paper is disgusting wait till you see the brown trout that go with it.
My sister just move from San Diego to Hawaii. Prior to San Diego she lived in Oregon for 20 years and only moved to San Diego because she couldn't stand the rain anymore. I think she was in San Diego just 3 or 4 years before the move to Hawaii, and is really impressed with the weather, in a portland sort of way.
Florida is the place for a winter vacation,IMO.
Call me when Hawaii becomes a red state....I will vacation in Florida or AZ in the winters instead.
And Florida welcomes you during your vacation.
Wow, what an article. We were planning on going to Kauai this July, but with all the rain and the busted reservoir, I wonder if all the touristy things will be up and running?
Perhaps I should just send my credits every January so as to ease the "snowbird" traffic jams on the highways. ;-)
should read "credit cards"
"Perhaps I should just send my credits every January so as to ease the "snowbird" traffic jams on the highways. ;-)"
Cash works here too.
Florida has its share of problems as well. The large number of CCWs may be one reason our crime rate isn't too bad. Anyone found targeting tourists is also strung up appropriately.
It sounds like Florida is a lot like Texas in that regard:
"If you come to Texas and kill someone,*we will kill you back*"
you apparently have not been to Vegas.......money + imagination = trouble.......but at least it stays in Vegas.......
So, does Hawaii promise "happy endings" if I go on vacation there?
Are you serious. You would not go to Hawaii because of it being a blue state. Using your logic, I guess you cannot give any money towards any blue state. Is your local city blue? You can't go to any big cities in the U.S. at all or you will give money to the blue state. I have been to Wi Ki Ki (Sp?) and it was wonderful. Don't use the blue vs red to keep you from a great vacation. Obviously we want the U.S. all red, but there are some great areas in blue states as well (at least for a vacation).
why? ...basically cause I can..... I've lived in Hawaii, but it's just turning into a liberal sh#t hole, and faces the same problem other liberal sh#t holes face... the parasites overwhelm the producers and leave a waste land... look at the Northeastern United States, Los Angeles, and San Diego is heading that way..
whatever libs don't eat, they sh#t on....just like flies.
limit any Blue state as much as possible.
I guess I just never realized that people actually do this. I respect your decision on doing this, but I just can't see blaming a state because a major city has some blue in it. I would never even have thought about not visiting New York because it is blue. This red/blue stuff just started two elections ago didn't it?
Did the same thing with my corporations retirement account, dumped Schwab and use Vanguard. Pennsylvania is the lesser of two evils as far as I'm concerned.
I'd even be more willing to move all corporate plans to Texas but Vanguard is a class operation and low cost.
choke off the money to support liberal parasites, then they'll go looking for somewhere else to sponge onto...like europe..
Dont worry, our criminals rarely violently attack visitors -- they just steal your wallet, your video cameras and your suitcases any time you pull over to look at the view or go for a quick swim. No, it is not part of the visitor industrys plan to get visitors to spend more per trip -- it is the criminals who need your stuff more than you do so they can subsidize Hawaiis worst in the nation crystal meth habit.
Just ask "Dog"-the Bounty Hunter.
I won a trip last year where I could choose between NYC, Florida, California, Utah and Hawaii.
Hawaii was my last choice (I went to Utah instead)