My father wasn't too strict on manners (or maybe I got them instilled quickly), but whenever I left an elevator before a woman (even I was closer to the exit), he would grab me by the collar and pull me back.
To this day, if I exit an elevator before a woman, even if it's the only way she can get out, I get a choking sensation.
manners in my mothers sense were but etiquette and that in turn etiquette was but a code by which the elite distinguished itself from hoi polloi in order to maintain its economic and cultural dominance
Actually it's the middle class which traditionally had the best manners. The upper class was often just as rude and vulgar as the lower class.
The decline of manners is a symptom of the increasing selfishness and lack of respect for others evident in society.
Many years ago, Ann Landers, I recall wrote something of what I very much agree: Good manners are the traffic lights in a civil society. These keep us from crashing into each other. Good article. Thank you for posting it.
Nice article, neverdem. Maybe a lost cause, but still a worthwhile one.
Not only do the ceremoniousness and formality help to smooth the rough edges of social interaction, but they allow some grading of such interaction, according to degrees of desired or achieved intimacy. Formality, moreover, is the precondition of subtlety and even of irony; without formality, life becomes coarse-grained and crude. The distinction between friendliness and friendship becomes blurred so that it is no longer even perceived.
Yes. Wow. So true. I went through my "egalitarian bratty slob" phase and nothing snapped me out of it faster than becoming a teacher in an inner-city middle school. Seeing how repulsive crudity really is straightened my spine immediately.
Some very wise observations from Dr.Dalrymple (my favorite psychiatrist!) Good manners are not just superficial, pro forma behaviour. They are an essential part of the glue that makes a society a CIVIL society and part of a larger civilization. They presuppose mutual respect. By the way, when Dalrymple referred to the decline of good manners in Britain this dreadful state of affairs is described in his book "Life at the Bottom". Sadly, I think we're heading in the same direction. Rudeness, incivility, and lack of respect for persons, property, and authority have permeated our society. I think it's sort of like the frog put into the pot of warm water while the temperature is gradually increased. By the time the water boils it's too late. So we have become so gradually vulgarized and calloused that we don't realize what's happened to our own culture.
I have worked very hard to get my son to realize that manners are tools in his toolbox of skills that will help him for the rest of his life. I often remind him that something simple like knowing which fork to use during a formal dinner could determine the outcome of getting a job or a contract. When I'm not around, he opens the doors for his mother and other ladies (he might realize how this could be useful for future dates...)
This article covers quite a bit of the subversive nature of the Left. What also could have been mentioned is that the Left has convinced generations that following traditions is silly and conformist. Somehow, if you do what your parents did, you aren't an individual- this is how they get people to NO LONGER honor their parents or tradition. If children can be convinced to not be like their parents, they'll have to let go of manners, because their parents had manners and social etiquette. I believe this has been part of the modus operandi of the Left to get to the egalitarian utopia they so desire.
That's my rant for the night. Thanks for reading.
and others don't.
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Good article. My father and mother believed in good manners. Sometimes I think they took it too far, such as when we ate. My dad insisted that the left hand remained in your lap with your napkin unless you were cutting something. To this day I eat with my left hand on my lap. If he saw that hand was up for no reason he would poke it with his fork. Your elbow , he would really start poking. I think good manners are a great asset and it is a shame more people dont use them.
Typical pommie bahstahd. Not the full quid.
she is almost turned completely around before she puts them on my desk with her back to me.
i think i pissed her off when she ask me why i always said thank you when people put work on my desk???
i told her for the same reason others don't... it's the way i was raised.
that's when it started... and someday, she's going to fall down doing it, and hurt a goodly part of her 300+lb azz!!!