The Ed McMahon Solution for Illegal Aliens

Decades ago, the Publishers Clearing House launched a campaign to give away $1 million with Ed McMahon and Dick Clark as spokesmen. In addition to the prize and fat payments to the sponsors, PCH had millions in costs for its advertising and direct mail. That campaign offers a solution to the illegal alien problem in the US today.

Some people wondered when the “Ed McMahon” campaign began, how that made good economic sense. I was working in direct mail advertising then. I knew exactly why it made sense. PCH were (and still are) spending tens of millions of dollars in order to give away money. But what were they getting in return?

They were getting accurate names and addresses where people currently live. Why? Well, if you wanted Ed McMahon to come to your door with a check for $1 million, wouldn’t you give your accurate name and address? Isn’t that exactly what the Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) wants from all illegal aliens?

Consider how the publishing industry gathered correct names and addresses prior to the McMahon campaign. They hired hundreds of college students, put them at desks with hundreds of phones, and stacks of directories. Hour by hour they made thousands of calls to find people. And, since Americans move all the time, those addresses quickly became obsolete.

Now, consider the INS today. An excellent article by Michelle Malkin yesterday detailed the towering incompetence of many of the administrators of the INS. Her article is the capstone of a series which demonstrates that far from being able to find 12 million (or whatever million) illegal aliens in the US, today’s INS could not find its *ss in the shower if it used both hands.

So, take a leaf out of the Ed McMahon playbook. Instead of trying to find all those illegal aliens, why not give them every incentive to identify themselves? And, no, I am not suggesting cash prizes like the McMahon campaign.

Congress should pass a law that gives all illegal aliens 90 days (or so) to register with the INS by name, address, place of employment, etc.. Photographs, fingerprints and DNA swabs would be included, so there’s no question that folks are who they say they are.

What would be the incentive for aliens to register? The law would state that any illegal alien found inside the US after the period expired, who had not registered, would immediately be positively identified by fingerprints, etc., taken to the nearest US border, and dumped on the far side. That person would also be barred from ever seeking to enter the US again. That result would be placed beyond the power of the federal courts to interfere. And, it would happen regardless of time in the US, family status, jobs or children.

With strong incentives like that, the only illegal aliens to stay in the shadows and not register would be those actively involved in criminal activities, ordinary ones of robbery, drugs, etc., or extraordinary ones like smuggling more illegal aliens into the US. By their actions, the group of all illegal aliens would self-select out those who have no intention of living and working in the US while obeying its laws.

Coupled with this, of course, would be practical steps to close the US border to the invasion from Mexico. Build the fences. Complete the wall at San Diego. Man the border with both volunteers and professionals. The Minute Men are proving again, right now, that more eyes on the border mean less illegals coming in.

It currently looks like the Senate bill, providing amnesty for illegals, will not pass. Even if it does, it looks like the House – which is closer to the people and supposedly better represents their will – will kill the Senate bill if it reaches the House.

It’s insane to accept the idea that any group of people can forcibly change the laws of the US just by walking or wading across an unguarded border. The Constitution gives control of immigration to Congress. For decades, Congress has abdicated its responsibilities in this area. Congress has fiddled, while the flames of the “reconquest” lick higher and higher on the walls of the state capitols in Sacramento, Phoenix, Santa Fe, Austin and Tallahassee. And those flames are spreading to capitols as far from the border as Raleigh, Albany, and Denver.

Serious action, not another false, band-aid solution, is needed immediately. A nation which cannot control its borders, cannot control its destiny. And the Ed McMahon solution would help regain that control

About the Author: John Armor is candidate for Congress in the 11th District of North Carolina.

You can pass whatever laws you want, but unless you enforce them, they are meaningless. We have laws on the books now that require illegal aliens to be deported. We are told the numbers are so huge, 11 to 20 million, that deportation is not an option. Do you really expect compliance with the program you suggest?

Why would illegals come out of the shadows to "register with the INS by name, address, place of employment, etc. Photographs, fingerprints and DNA swabs would be included, so there’s no question that folks are who they say they are?" Why disclose your whereabouts when you risk the possibility of deportation, payment of a fine and back taxes, a background investigation, and other requirements that would hinder your employment, i.e., make you less attractive to employers who must start paying SS, health beneftis, and report your employment?

I see more disincentives than incentives from the standpoint of the illegals and the employers. You have the stick, what is the carrot? Are you going to reward those who have violated our laws?

With "incentives" like that, most will remain in the shadows. They are not foolish enough to buy into the Ed McMahon solution by revealing themselves to the USG and overcome all the hurdles that are required to stay here legally. In the meantime, do we have the political will to really secure our borders?

I see all of this a political theater with the elites creating this Potemkin Village solution of unenforced laws coupled with strong, but meaningless, rhetoric. The first priority is securing our borders, which sends a real, concrete signal that we are serious about immigration reform. Passing laws to make legal those entering our country illegally sends the wrong signal to the millions more wait to cross the border. It says get here now before the door is shut.

So you're sitting there as an illegal alien, wife is the same, but you have three children who are born in America, you have a job, a car and a house. And you don't think those adults have an incentive to register, so they won't be thrown out summarily?

Who is going to throw them out? Why are they still here with three kids, a job, a car, and a house? If we didn't enforce the laws on the books now, why do you think we can enforce new ones? You seem to believe that we are going to create the enforcement mechanisms to force compliance. I just don't believe it and I have past history to base that belief on.

The Ozzie and Harriet family you portray is probably the exception, not the rule. Immigrants in the US now send back to Mexico more than $17 billion annually, which is greater than the revenue they gain from us in oil sales. Here in Northern Virginia, we have problems with immigrants occupying rental properties with 10 to 12 in a room exceeding fire and zoning codes.

What planet are you from?

I am from planet earth in the year 2006 and live in the USA, where we have 11 to 20 million illegal immigrants who are here in unprecedented numbers and growing exponentially. I do not live in an alternative universe where, by passing a law, everything is solved. Making everyone legal will not solve the illegal problem. More will come to replace them, even with bigger fences and more border patrol agents.

The chronic criminals in the illegal alien group would certainly be less than the total number. Is it easier to deport 1 million than 11 million? And isn't it obviously advantageous for the US to deport the multiple criminals, first?

First of all, Mexico does not want its criminals back. One-third of the California penal system is filled with illegal immigrants. Mexico refuses repatriation.

You are creating a phony strawman. I have not advocated deporting one or 11 million people. We really don't know how many there are. I don't think we have the political will to deport 10,000 let alone a million. Our legal system would be tied into knots and backlogged forever.

You have provided the stick, where is the carrot? You have failed to provide a reason why illegals should comply with your program except to avoid punishment. This approach hasn't worked before.

If you don't like my ideas, come up with better on your own.

OK. Here it is:

First, secure our Southern border using physical barriers at key locations, hi-tech survaillence and detection equipment, and more border patrol agents. We will not stop everyone from coming in, but it will reduce the numbers. This is the first step in regaining control over our national boundaries.

Second, I would enforce strictly the penalties against employers who hire illegal aliens. Without the prospect of employment, the US will not be as attractive to those wishing to enter illegally. Many illegals may decide to go back home.

I would enlist state and local officials to assist in the enforcement of federal immigration laws or at the very least cooperate with federal officials. No more sanctuaries. Any illegal alien convicted of a crime or misdameanor would be deported post haste.

I would eliminate the law that makes someone born in the US an automatic citizen. These "anchor babies: must be stopped. Ireland did it, so can we.

I would develop a tightly controlled guest worker program for unskilled labor needed in certain seasonal industries such as farming. The workers would be well-documented and unaccompanied by families. In terms of skilled labor, I would expand the H1B visa program.

I would reform the Immigration act of 1965 with a view towards limiting the sponsoring of family members for immigration and changing the way we select immigrants so that there is greater diversity in terms of where the immigrants come from.

After implementing all of the above, I would deal with the remaining illegals in the US as humanely as possible. I would not rule out some form of "amnesty" for long term residents, i.e., 10 years or more. There would have to be some carrots if we are going to get a handle on who is here. Also, people using our social services, medical facilities, education institutions, etc. would have to be identified as being a citizen or not. This would go along way towards building a data base. It would not mean that they would be cut off from the service, but they would have to provide information on who they are and where they came from. It would not be voluntary.

I would work out an agreement with Mexico on the repatriation of their citizens held in our jails.

That is a brief summary of how I would approach the problem.

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