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The ‘new woman’ is a housewife (educated women has discovered the secret of a happy marriage)
The Sunday Times ^ | April 16, 2006 | Sarah Baxter and Tom Baird

Posted on 04/17/2006 5:10:26 AM PDT by IrishMike

A NEW breed of educated women has discovered the secret of a happy marriage — opting to stay at home instead of pursuing a career. The phenomenon, in which wives prefer their husbands to be the main breadwinner, has been identified by American sociologists and is now gaining a foothold in Britain. Unlike the housewives of the 1950s, who had little choice over rearing children and acting as homemaker, this generation of women is building on the advances of the feminist movement to determine their optimum lifestyle. The women are predominantly drawn from the middle classes and have young offspring. They regard themselves as “at-home mothers”, seeing their prime responsibility as bringing up the children rather than housekeeping.

They include women who have given up jobs altogether as well as those who have taken extended career breaks to be with their children throughout their upbringing.

According to research by academics at the University of Virginia, 52% of modern housewives describe themselves as “very happy” with their marriages compared with 41% of working women.

(Excerpt) Read more at timesonline.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Miscellaneous; Philosophy; United Kingdom
KEYWORDS: child; childpreservation; children; conservative; election; elections; familypreservation; fiance; fiancee; gop; home; homemaker; house; housewife; kid; kidpreservation; kids; liberal; liberals; liberation; man; manpreservation; marital; marriage; marriagepreservation; men; mom; mother; motherhood; obedientwives; preservation; sahm; stayathomemom; subservient; truth; uva; woman; womanpreservation; women
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1 posted on 04/17/2006 5:10:31 AM PDT by IrishMike
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To: IrishMike

Bump!

Thanks, my fiance would love to see this trend making her feelings more "the norm."


2 posted on 04/17/2006 5:13:31 AM PDT by MacDorcha (In Theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.)
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To: IrishMike

I really doubt there's one secret to a happy marriage. Wife staying home works for some, not for others.


3 posted on 04/17/2006 5:13:53 AM PDT by blueminnesota
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To: MacDorcha

It is a HUGE trend. Because, guess what? It makes sense.


4 posted on 04/17/2006 5:14:37 AM PDT by bboop (Stealth Tutor)
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To: IrishMike
Happy wife and mom bump.

Trust me, Dad is happy, too. When Mom doesn't have to burn the candle at both ends, there is more energy for burning candles in the bedroom. And we ALL know what that means.

5 posted on 04/17/2006 5:17:20 AM PDT by pettifogger
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To: IrishMike

Surprise! Feminism is a bad idea and a flop. Women are free to be themselves once again, and now they owe it to the young girls in school and college to show the way back to ladylike ideals and the strength of true womanhood.


6 posted on 04/17/2006 5:21:09 AM PDT by ishabibble (UNITED WE STAND DIVIDED WE FALL)
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To: pettifogger

Amen to that, because it's the absolute truth.
Families live in homes, not a collective of individuals.


7 posted on 04/17/2006 5:25:06 AM PDT by IrishMike (Dry Powder is a plus)
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To: ishabibble
Oh please. A women being free to be themselves is being a housewife? To instill in a young girl that the only thing that makes her "ladylike" is to aspire to do housework is as stupid as what the feminazis have been doing the past 40 years.
8 posted on 04/17/2006 5:27:02 AM PDT by VanDeKoik (Quick! Press the Sarcasm button!)
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To: bboop

Oh, agreed 100%!

It's just nice to see common sense make a snap in this world.


9 posted on 04/17/2006 5:27:33 AM PDT by MacDorcha (In Theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.)
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To: IrishMike

It's not just moms with little kids.


10 posted on 04/17/2006 5:27:58 AM PDT by CindyDawg (He Lives , He Lives! Christ, Jesus lives today!)
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To: IrishMike
this generation of women is building on the advances of running from the insanity of the feminist movement to determine their optimum lifestyle.

Just editing for sense.

11 posted on 04/17/2006 5:31:24 AM PDT by SamuraiScot
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To: VanDeKoik

I agree. Just as stupid is the headline, "educated women (plural) has (singular)". Why is it still the feeling that women should be pushed all in one direction or the other?


12 posted on 04/17/2006 5:32:11 AM PDT by linda_22003
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To: bboop

I stayed home to raise my children from 1985 til just recently. I have been criticized and treated like a second class citizen because of it.

I am college educated, and am just now starting to work. It is NOT easy. Maybe I'm just a little ahead of my time. It was worth it. Got two almost adult kids NO MAJOR PROBLEMS.

I have friends who are single mothers. Would not want to be in their shoes to save myself. They are tired, drained ALL OF THE TIME.


13 posted on 04/17/2006 5:32:12 AM PDT by television is just wrong (Our sympathies are misguided with illegal aliens...)
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To: VanDeKoik

Agreed. Being free to be themselves (IMO) means doing whichever is best for their children, their marriage, and their aspirations.. probably in that order. There is certainly no one correct answer.


14 posted on 04/17/2006 5:32:33 AM PDT by ivyleaguebrat
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To: VanDeKoik
Oh please yourself. I could just cry when I see what is happening to young girls today, and where on earth did you get the idea that ladylike behaviour equals housework.

Know any 16-19 yr. old girls? I do. All sorts of achievements
and more miles on them than Rte. 95. Only American feminism could have ever put prostitution out of business, but that is what is happening.

Wild On, Mardi Gras, 6th grader performing oral sex on the morning school bus.

So yes, definitely. Women should be protecting the children that they brought into this world, now more than ever. There are a world of options out there, but women need to break out of all the "liberated" crap, and it's not going to be easy. Just look at how easily you bristled!!!
15 posted on 04/17/2006 5:36:51 AM PDT by ishabibble (UNITED WE STAND DIVIDED WE FALL)
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To: ishabibble

That really makes me wonder what kind of people you hang out with. I know many 16-19 year old girls and they do not "have miles on them". You shouldn't watch so much MTV.


16 posted on 04/17/2006 5:42:39 AM PDT by blueminnesota
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To: VanDeKoik
To instill in a young girl that the only thing that makes her "ladylike" is to aspire to do housework is as stupid as what the feminazis have been doing the past 40 years.

I think it's a larger idea than that. It's to instill in a young girl the truth that if she doesn't make home "home," nobody will. Further, it's that building your own civilization is a higher calling than wearing a floppy bow-tie to work for someone else at a bank or a law firm.

It's not that there's something wrong with the bank or law firm thing. It's that making a home is a higher calling.

17 posted on 04/17/2006 5:43:06 AM PDT by SamuraiScot
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To: VanDeKoik

Raising a happy, healthy family and running a household is a full-time job. Unfortunately feminists have told women it isn't enough. But her family knows it is.


18 posted on 04/17/2006 5:43:21 AM PDT by mlc9852
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To: IrishMike

Good news! I've noticed most (but not all) women are happier being a mom.. then working up the corporate ladder. Of course once the youngest kid gets into school there is lots of time left to be in the rat race too.


19 posted on 04/17/2006 5:46:48 AM PDT by ran15
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To: VanDeKoik
Our Girls are educated women who raise their own children, who are now becoming educated women that will raise their own children.
20 posted on 04/17/2006 5:48:36 AM PDT by Coldwater Creek ("Over there, over there, We won't be back 'til it's over Over there.")
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To: VanDeKoik
Our Girls are educated women who raise their own children, who are now becoming educated women that will raise their own children.
21 posted on 04/17/2006 5:49:03 AM PDT by Coldwater Creek ("Over there, over there, We won't be back 'til it's over Over there.")
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To: television is just wrong

YOU DID IT RIGHT!!!!!!


22 posted on 04/17/2006 5:50:08 AM PDT by Coldwater Creek ("Over there, over there, We won't be back 'til it's over Over there.")
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To: linda_22003
Why is it still the feeling that women should be pushed all in one direction or the other?

For the same reason that black people need "leaders" I guess -- namely the old totalitarian leftist social engineering paradigm.

23 posted on 04/17/2006 5:51:44 AM PDT by Maceman (Hey! Who changed my tagline? (Fake but accurate, and now double-sourced))
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To: bboop

Family is more important than $$$$


24 posted on 04/17/2006 5:55:02 AM PDT by GeorgefromGeorgia
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To: ran15

After my daughter graduated from college, he confided in me that she had watched me do the single parent career woman bit, and she thought it was not worth it. She decided to be a trophy wife, and she seems very happy. She has a daughter and is expecting. I suppose illegals do all of the grunt work at her house. I was worn out and disabled by 55, and alone. Climb the corporate ladder and sleep alone, as MODO has explained.


25 posted on 04/17/2006 5:58:07 AM PDT by ClaireSolt (.)
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To: ClaireSolt

Are you sure you mean a "trophy wife"? She became the second, third, or even subsequent wife of a corporate executive who is 20 or 30 years her senior?


26 posted on 04/17/2006 6:00:53 AM PDT by linda_22003
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To: ran15
Of course once the youngest kid gets into school there is lots of time left to be in the rat race too.
 
I am an SAHM, and I assure you, the time to be at home is when they are teenagers. Life was easy for me when it was diapers and bottles. I clean and run errands during school hours, and when school is out, I am home. I did try going back to work, and hated it. My job is a mom and a wife, and I could not be happier. The pay stinks but the benefits are worth it!
 
Love, patients, kindness, caring, and a sense of humor are required for this job. You cannot be self centered in this job, which is why feminazis HATE stay at home moms. My kids dont have ipods, but they have me, and thats what they want.

27 posted on 04/17/2006 6:05:09 AM PDT by backinthefold (Time to set the record straight, the skipping is driving me nuts!)
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To: blueminnesota
I am a middle-aged white woman. I don't watch MTV, but I do occasionally tape BET as evidence of the destruction of minority kids. I also don't "hang out". I do socialize with many of my like-minded peers, and I do enjoy the company of friends and family.

I volunteer at my church. I do basic English and American History tutoring, and I've done paperwork for the parents of the kids I work with, you know, Spanish speakers. Anyhow, many of the kids I see at the church are preparing for SAT tests, and you'd be very surprised at the nonchalance of the girls when it comes to sex. If you had a lick of sense, you'd be as appalled as I am...unless you're one of those people that thinks Debra LaFave's victim is one lucky 13 yr. old. Woo-hoo and all that, etc.
28 posted on 04/17/2006 6:05:44 AM PDT by ishabibble (UNITED WE STAND DIVIDED WE FALL)
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To: IrishMike
Gee, I know any number of people (including my wife and me) who are highly educated, have been everywhere and seen everything, but prefer just to hang-out, read, do fun activities, enjoy life, have fun together and with the children, learn things, etc. You've always got the education. Why feel compelled to do something? Living is doing something.
29 posted on 04/17/2006 6:15:25 AM PDT by Savage Beast (The Spirit of Flight 93 is the Spirit of America.)
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To: Savage Beast

Sounds like you are doing something and enjoying it a lot.
Best wishes.


30 posted on 04/17/2006 6:33:17 AM PDT by IrishMike (Dry Powder is a plus)
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To: VanDeKoik

"Oh please. A women being free to be themselves is being a housewife? To instill in a young girl that the only thing that makes her "ladylike" is to aspire to do housework is as stupid as what the feminazis have been doing the past 40 years"

That's not what the article or post 6 said. What they said was that these wives were devoting their energy to raising children as *opposed* to the 50s stereotype of wife=dishwasher.

Your statement as it stands isn't false, but you're attacking a statement that the person you answered didn't make.

Anyway this is good news; if wives want to raise kids that means they're having kids, which means Eurabia may not be Europe's future after all.


31 posted on 04/17/2006 6:39:38 AM PDT by No.6 (www.fourthfightergroup.com)
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To: IrishMike

Man, I am, Mike! I've got the best life! I hasn't always been so. I was born poor and got poorer. My father died when I was a kid. I worked my way through college etc. My saving grace was my wife (of Irish descent, by the way). It gets better and better and better!


32 posted on 04/17/2006 7:04:18 AM PDT by Savage Beast ( The Spirit of Flight 93 is the Spirit of America. R.I.P., Todd Beamer.)
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To: Savage Beast

Write a book.


33 posted on 04/17/2006 7:13:25 AM PDT by IrishMike (Dry Powder is a plus)
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To: linda_22003

Yes, she is the second wife of the veep of the co where they both worked. He is 15 years older than she, and they seem very happy and in love. In spite of my efforts, she is very materialistic and wanted everything first class. She is getting what she wanted. I guess it is an example of the old saw that it is as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man.


34 posted on 04/17/2006 7:23:09 AM PDT by ClaireSolt (.)
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To: ClaireSolt

My apologies - you really DID mean trophy wife! And you're well aware that the term is usuall a pejorative! :)


35 posted on 04/17/2006 7:29:35 AM PDT by linda_22003
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To: linda_22003

Somebody put a "y" on the end of "usuall" for me? Thanks.


36 posted on 04/17/2006 7:30:09 AM PDT by linda_22003
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To: ClaireSolt
I just don't know how one could ever trust the man who left his wife for you.

And yes, I am making some assumptions here about your daughter's situation. The veep could have been a widower; divorced for years before meeting your daughter; the victim of an abusive wife; etc.

Let's just say I stand by my first statement, even if it doesn't apply in your daughter's case.

37 posted on 04/17/2006 7:31:49 AM PDT by pettifogger
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To: IrishMike
Why women work:

More at Grandfather Family Income Report

38 posted on 04/17/2006 7:45:22 AM PDT by M. Dodge Thomas (More of the same, only with more zeros at the end.)
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To: pettifogger

I had the ame reservations about the man before they were married. It does seem to be going well, though. If you see the two wives in the same room, they look almost identical. I don't know what broke up their marriage, but I do know there are lots of divorces, and I wouldn't want you to write me off because I left a bad man. In the end, it is my daughter's life, and she is firm about that.


39 posted on 04/17/2006 7:49:44 AM PDT by ClaireSolt (.)
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To: television is just wrong

My wife has been “Stay at home” for about ten years now. At first when we went places and people asked her what she did, she got some funny looks and even some put downs about “that being all she could do.” I stayed right by her side at a party, until I saw the tactic, and when they asked what she did, my response was, “Oh, she doesn’t have to work.” You should have seen the looks on the former catty working women’s faces, then they all started discussing what toys their salaries went for (boats, cars, etc) they decided they were all working to pay for toys mostly used by their husbands. It was and is priceless, we use that response still.

BTW, My wife graduated college as a Medical Technologist with honors, and is a member of the Association for Clinical Pathologists (ASCP).


40 posted on 04/17/2006 7:51:02 AM PDT by DelphiUser ("You can lead a man to knowledge, but you can't make him think")
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To: MacDorcha

Don't sweat it, once your fiance is staying at home, and not hanging out with work a day women, she'll meet the other stay at home wifes/moms (especially once she has kids) and her circle of friends will be with other moms raising their kids and she won't feel outside the norm....

That and she'll get to snicker at all those still working gals that say "I don't know how you do it, I'd go insane without work".... If you think a woman who truly embraces being a housewife just sits around the house whiping drool off of rugrats, never speaking to other adults you don't have a clue.


41 posted on 04/17/2006 7:51:38 AM PDT by HamiltonJay
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To: M. Dodge Thomas

"Why Women Work".... I just see a couple of charts, I don't see anything about intellectual stimulation or career satisfaction there. Those are two major reasons I can think of that I, and women I know, work.


42 posted on 04/17/2006 7:51:40 AM PDT by linda_22003
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To: linda_22003

When my daughter told me that she wanted to be a trophy I had never heard the term and it was years before I knew what she meant. Yes, I see bimbos reading comic books on the beach while dirty old men admire their bodies. Amy is not a bimbo.


43 posted on 04/17/2006 7:52:02 AM PDT by ClaireSolt (.)
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To: M. Dodge Thomas

I've been saying this for years, but no one wants to listen... it takes 2 incomes generally to do what 1 did 30 years ago... Free Trade is nothing but a scam.... The only way the average household income is going to stay level or grow in the future is if bigamy and polygamy become legal.


44 posted on 04/17/2006 7:54:39 AM PDT by HamiltonJay
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To: ClaireSolt

Well provided she wasn't running around with him during his last marriage....

As a guy I tell women, particularly younger women all the damned time... if they'll cheat with you... they'll cheat on you.... not exactly rocket science, but aparently many don't hear it from their parents.

Also, the flip side is, if you attend coctail parties with the wealthy, you'll notice they tend to trade younger every decade or so.. sometimes more often. When their trophy wife hits a certain age, abra cadabra they are divorced and have a new gal that just happens to be the same age as the gal he just left was when they met....

As long as they are happy, so be it.. me, even with the money to provide first class, I have no desire for a woman who demands it....


45 posted on 04/17/2006 7:58:37 AM PDT by HamiltonJay
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To: ClaireSolt

City girls just seem to find out early
How to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man
And she won't have to worry
She'll dress up all in lace and go in style
Late at night a big old house gets lonely
I guess ev'ry form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is
Only given to a man with hands as cold as ice
.....


46 posted on 04/17/2006 8:00:30 AM PDT by HamiltonJay
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To: M. Dodge Thomas

Those charts show why most women I know work after having kids. Many of my "working mom" friends are only working to afford healthcare or to pay one of the bills.


47 posted on 04/17/2006 8:20:11 AM PDT by Hoodlum91 (Tour guide goddess)
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To: M. Dodge Thomas

Does the chart take into account the price of daycare, eating out more, clothes, etc? I know a woman who couldn't understand why anyone would want to stay home with their children. Meanwhile, most of her income went to a babysitter.


48 posted on 04/17/2006 8:34:04 AM PDT by HungarianGypsy
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To: HungarianGypsy

bump


49 posted on 04/17/2006 8:42:07 AM PDT by RebekahT ("Our government is not the solution to the problem, government is the problem." -- Ronald Reagan)
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To: linda_22003
I don't see anything about intellectual stimulation or career satisfaction there. Those are two major reasons I can think of that I, and women I know, work.

You are correct of course - my title was a bit simplistic.

IMO, often it's a feedback loop - many women enter the workforce and/or remain there in part (and sometimes mostly) for reasons such as the those you cite, but for a majority of dual-income families the additional financial obligations it's possible to assume with two incomes soon makes it quite difficult for ether wage-earner to reduce their income.

And that's for families earing the median income or better.

If a dual-income family consisting of two high-school graduates earning $20K (around $10 an hour) each loses one of those incomes for a sustained period, it likely means they are headed for bankrucpy in pretty short order - especially as the entire loss of that income in such a family is likley to be the result of illness or injury.

So for both sorts of families there are often pretty strong economic incentives for both adults to keep working - IMO often strong enough that it's difficult to separate the economic and "psychological" motivations to maintain dual-inconme status.

50 posted on 04/17/2006 8:55:03 AM PDT by M. Dodge Thomas (More of the same, only with more zeros at the end.)
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