I think the pastor and everyone else should preach/teach/speak the truth about homosexuality, that it is condemned by God. It's the hypersensitivity to all the various emotions of those caught up in the sin that I see as unnecessary. And the obsession over professing "love" for homosexuals (ungodly love that helps hide and protect sin), which actually gets in the way of proclaiming the truth. Love them with the gospel and the truth about their sin. There is a trend these days to condemn those who speak the truth and exalt those who go soft on sin, overly identifying with the emotional excuses the sinner gives. That's not love. It's what you call being an accomplice. Or to please the psychobabblers, an enabler.
On the other hand there is something to be said about judging by FRUITS. If the rock ribs like you are managing to get almost nobody out of gayness but the "softies" are leading a true "exodus," then something has to be rethought about the way the rock ribs are parsing the Bible.