Posted on 05/06/2006 9:31:24 PM PDT by freepatriot32
(a psychological conundrum)
Most of America's populace think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of "those moments."
One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk.
They usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together.
I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
Sincerely, A Friend
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Spank.
I've been lucky with my nine year old son. Haven't had to spank him. He learned from his older brother's mistakes. Smart kid
PRICELESS!
And.....spank.
one for your ping lists perhaps :-)
But .. does it change the child's behavior ..?? I mean is the issue resolved, or just appeased until the next time ..??
Bust their asses. If they don't listen bust their asses some more. It works great here!
The example of typical parenting in 107-s/80s East Asia will send shudders to many American parents and chills down many American kids' minds: ;-) (Don't do this at home)
Mum: You bad boy, got into this mess?
Son: No, it was like this...Arrghhh! [Mum speanking her son]
Mum: Is this your fault?
Son: But...Arrrghhh! [Mum spanking her son even harder]
Mum: Dare to refute me? [Mum then smacks her son]
Son: No,...Arrrghhh! (muffied) arrrghhh! [Mum smacks her son even harder, 4 times in a row]
I once had an educational psychology professor who informed the entire class that when psychology fails, apply the psychology textbook, firmly, to the child's backside. And, yes, he was the father of five children.
Spare the rod and spoil the child.
Neck pinching also works. It shows that you are the Alpha animal.
Spank.
It is not necessarily the ethnic Chinese youths are so much more disciplined on a whole. It is just that those with good behaviours have a chance of going to the West for more studies. Each year when I look at my former primary school classmates in HK, none of the "bad boys/girls" ended up studying overseas.
Exactly, exactly, you put my words into a more refined state.
LOL...I wouldn't go as far as that....but, there is nothing wrong with spanking...so long as it doesn't turn into beating a child.
hahahahahaha! so far, tone of voice seems to work with our kids... and our dogs...
Sounds like the parents need to be disciplined first!
I drop mine for push ups..... works great when you embarrass them in front of their friends.
That is a hard question. Spanking is not a cure all.
But, my wife is very sweet and hates to spank unless she is really furious and then is more likely to pull hair or something female.
I spank deliberately and usually give several real warnings unless it's an emergency spank like sonA hits sonB with baseball bat or something
Now which parent do you think can handle the children in public easier?
I'm not complaining....it's sorta unfair to play the heavy but I think Mommy's are best being maternal
My mom was not terribly maternal so I kinda like my wife being a warm wing for the children. They will love me one day for trying to steer them right...I may be long planted but nevertheless
Someone watched South Park!!
"tone of voice"....and FOLLOW THROUGH......I would answer my son's question or behavior ....and if it was NO....he KNEW NOT to ask/do again! I ALWAYS KEPT MY WORD. Too many parents don't keep their word, so the kids keep asking and asking and doing and doing...
"...Now....I see that same parenting all over the place amongst GenX and GenY soccer moms and metrodaddies...not a liberal Northern thing anymore. I'm in Nashville..."
Ha! A few times we've gotten compliments on our "well-behaved" children (from people who must be grading on the curve). So I turn and ask the toddler "Do you know what a spanking is?" and he'll smile and triple pat his backside.
Let em know the secrets of good behavior.
In group homes, professionals must discipline and punish retarded individuals, often grown adults. (Seniors too, in rest homes.)
They have their methods, but they are under massive treat of being sued and possibly imprisoned should they ever lay a hand on anyone.
Spanking or smacking, however lightly, is completely unnecessary. It is more often a sign of incompetence, a frustration expressed in petty retaliation for the fact that the spankee was embarrassingly superior to the spanker in some way - in wit, honesty, or intelligence for example.
Neck pinching is for "in public" when spanling might get you arrested.
The "claw" I call it....they sure don't like it..lol
P.S....I'm good with dogs, too!
Ooo! Nice shot of the rarely seen and almost never photograped wild windshield wiper eating bratimal.
First: The desired action (or stopping thereof) should be repeated three times. The child quickly learns that if it had to be repeated the third time, then punishment is almost a certainty.
Second: The child is told, "I am going to spank you because....." The child learns that his own actions brought about the punishment.
Third: The child is lifted off the floor under one arm with his feet dangling. This instills a sense of helplessness while the impending strike is being contemplated.
Fourth: The actual strike is more than a tap but less than a whallop. The child learns the meaning of painful consequences but knows even in the direst of disciple that major injury is never what is desired.
One young gentleman had to be spanked three times in his life by me. He grew up to be a marine. His more implusive brother had to be spanked four times. He also grew up to be a marine. They are both both grown gentlemen now with dignity and self-disciple. One is a cop and the other is a Federal Marshal. Both are my nephews who were raised during their early years with me acting as a surrogate father since their bio-dad was a wife beater who fled to New Zealand. They were 2 and 1-year olds at the time.
Yup, it has a LOT to do with it. We have a generation of young adults out there now who don't know the pain of consequence because they were never disciplined. A lot of them also have zero work ethic because they were never made to do a single thing.
The scary part: As bad as their parents were, imagine what this bunch is gonna be like as parents themselves. Heck, you don't have to imagine, I guess; just take a look around you at the grocery store, movie theater, you name it. About twenty minutes from the end of UNITED 93, a woman got up, put her baby (11 PM showing) in a stroller, and started pushing it back and forth right down at the front of the theater. Talk aobut distracting. I walked down and very politely said, "Ma'am, that's very distracting." She started screaming at me. I never said a word, just went and got management. It took them nearly to the end of the movie to get her, her husband, and the baby out of the room. It's as if it never even occurs to them that they don't have the right to ruin the movie for 300 other people.
MM
I had a reply for you, but noticed that you're from Massachusetts.
Enjoy the kool-aid.
Reply and refrain from further insults.
"They will love me one day for trying to steer them right...I may be long planted but nevertheless"
Naw...they will love you no matter what...and NOW. ;o)
With my own child, and the grands, we've found that it depends on what the child responds to best.
It's a given that the first child is the experimental child, though.
We've found that the worst possible punishment for all was restricting their freedom.
My daughter, and the grands, would much rather have a spanking.
Spankings were over very fast compared to spending a week confined to the house, and yard.
The friends could come over but, when they left to go to someone else's house, she couldn't go with them.
That dang near killed her.
I know that with the grands, kids going from house to house isn't feasible.
Sadly, it's just not done anymore, for safety reasons.
But, they respond just as my daughter did WRT restricting their freedom, or their prized possessions.
It's been that way since they were toddlers.
I am very proud and happy to say that they are all good kids.
We are proud to show them off in public because we know they will behave properly.
BTW, I'm like your wife in this area.
It dang near killed me when she received a spanking.
But, it's true that, with my daughter, spankings didn't work nearly as well as restriction.
Thank the Good Lord. ;o)
The scary part: As bad as their parents were, imagine what this bunch is gonna be like as parents themselves.
A broad brush certainly does paint some things the right color...
But to say there is a generation of young adults who don't know the pain of consequence, or that a lot of them have zero work ethic, and to imply that their parenting will be incompetent is a bit too broad.
It would be as broad as saying that the baby boomers (and those a bit older than the boomers) expect to have their retirement, medial treatment, perscription drugs, among other things provided to them, free of charge, at the expense of everyone else.
I just think those types of brushes are way too broad.
Of course I might be biased, I've also spanked my children, but I'm a young adult, and learning...
Honestly not trying to pick a fight, just have some fun...
Take care.
Tying them up to a post by a lead rope with a snaffle bit in their mouth until they behave also works. I would use a curb bit but its much to harsh for little ones under four years of age.
IMO, discussions about broad topics (like society) must be generalized in order to be feasible. Sure, there are always exceptions. Always. But I'm definitely speaking very generally.
MM
ROTFLOL
Now that's what's called 'Tough Love".
I think that is the wisest way to spank I've ever heard.
no doubt that younger parents today spank less .....and boomers like me spanked less than our parents too
The boy done tee-pee'd the school again, eh?
Spankings can be quite heartbreaking for me.
But going to visit my Sons in prison, or in a graveyard would hurt a hell of a lot worse.
Oh, yeah, spank.
As was I.
I will freely note that there are plenty of young adults that need a good spanking themselves, let alone their kids...
My problem with discussing broad topics in broad terms is that the approach rarely gets to the issues at hand or the solutions possible. Not to mention that it usually invites generational pissing matches which, while fun, usually have the same result.
While you might see a few (or more) bad parents, I see the boomers+ that are supposed to be our leaders spending my hard earned money like drunken sailors and even worse, not doing a damn thing about making our nations future better. While I hope it isn't coming across as personally attacking you (which honestly isn't my intent), I've got a couple bones to pick with some of the village elders that make it a little tough to make ends meet...
Here is some advice for the current leadership in congress and more importantly those who are not holding their feet to the fire on getting the right things done:
1) The people from which you are taking to much current (and future) earnings are the people who will be forced to "correct" your over priced social programs in the future.
2) Most of us are doing every thing we can to make sure that we will not need your social programs in the future and therefore "correcting" those social programs will be a business decision, not a personal decision and we apologize in advance if you happen rely on those programs.
3) The cost of House and Senate hearings on anything other than budget and specific congressionaly or constitutionally mandated overight issues should be entirely paid by the members of the House, Senate or applicable committee members.
4) It is bad taste if public money is used to name anything after you if you have failed to accomplished anything that will be in a college level American history history text book 20 years from now and you are not currently dead.
5) The fact that you make more laws, while ignoring the ones on the books (e.g., immigration) is not a sign of progress.
6) It is our money not yours. Sooner or later we will fire you if you continue to underperform.
That is the bottom line. Better a spanking now than getting hurt or killed for not listening or abiding by the 'rules'.
We are raising two grandkids now, and have a wonderful 6 year old girl with a winning smile who can be an absolute ingenious holy terror, and her very bright and shining 3 year old brother who still hasn't quite mastered "You don't have to want to, you just have to." (and who is quite vocal about his desires (or lack thereof), in a very calm sort of way.)
Both have their own style of boneheaded obstinacy, and the effective solutions vary, but the credible threat of a spanking usually hauls either up short.
I wanted two kids. So, I had three and shot one in front of the other two. Now, when I say, 'I brought you into this world and I will take you out' they listen up.
psst!
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