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What it takes to be a jerk (Dave Barry)
Maimi Herald ^
| Dave Barry
Posted on 05/07/2006 8:33:21 AM PDT by nuconvert
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To: Ditter
...The ones that annoy me are the ones with the huge speakers in their car that make the awful bumping sound that makes me feel like I am having a heart attack... We'll get our revenge in about 20 years. Purchase stock in hearing aid manufacturers now...
121
posted on
05/07/2006 4:24:13 PM PDT
by
COBOL2Java
(Freedom isn't free, but the men and women of the military will pay most of your share)
To: Scarchin
The Jerk
May I have a picture of George Costanza with some reference to the "Jerk Store" posted on this thread?
The Jerk Store called, they're running low on you!
122
posted on
05/07/2006 4:25:10 PM PDT
by
yeff
(Libs are like Slinkies ...useless, but fun to watch when you push them down the stairs :-Þ)
To: Robwin
I am amazed that in all these posts, hardly anyone mentioned cell phones and their misuse; which can range from talking on one while in a theatre to something like ignoring a check out clerk because you just must get this call. Bingo! The newest manifestation of this rudeness is use of those new push-to-talk phones. You know, the ones that emit a loud "chirp" and then you not only hear the idiot who is in the store/theatre/restaurant, but you also get to hear the *other* person thanks to the loudspeaker. This has got to be the worst of the worst.
123
posted on
05/07/2006 4:30:25 PM PDT
by
COBOL2Java
(Freedom isn't free, but the men and women of the military will pay most of your share)
To: sgtbono2002
"If it was sarcasm then you answered your own question."Oh, I have my answer alright.
124
posted on
05/07/2006 4:50:53 PM PDT
by
muir_redwoods
(Free Sirhan Sirhan, after all, the bastard who killed Mary Jo Kopechne is walking around free)
To: muir_redwoods
I have mine too. I was right from the start.
To: sgtbono2002
"I have mine too. I was right from the start"I'm sure you always are. Now you can have the last word, I understand children like that.
126
posted on
05/07/2006 5:10:29 PM PDT
by
muir_redwoods
(Free Sirhan Sirhan, after all, the bastard who killed Mary Jo Kopechne is walking around free)
To: sgtbono2002
127
posted on
05/07/2006 5:31:31 PM PDT
by
Hildy
(Producing a penny now costs the government more than 1.4 cents)
To: Hildy
Do you mean that if you got bad service, the wrong food, watched the waiter stare at you instead of asking if you'd like to order, etc., that you would still tip?
I waited on tables, and I also drove a cab. I wouldn't tip in such a situation. I didn't expect a tip if the kitchen screwed up an order on me, nor if the dispatcher sent me late to a call and the customer was upset at having to wait.
What really got me was New York City restaurants that added a 20% 'gratuity' to their checks. I tip 20 - 25% for good service. The person who demands it gets nothing.
128
posted on
05/07/2006 6:00:53 PM PDT
by
sig226
To: sig226
I've never had service that I deemed to be "untippable." If the service were bad enough that I wouldn't leave a tip, I'd probably just talk to the manager. Be doing the restaurant a favor.
129
posted on
05/07/2006 6:12:00 PM PDT
by
Hildy
(Producing a penny now costs the government more than 1.4 cents)
To: vetvetdoug
If you owned a Jap bike, you wouldn't have to 'warm it up'. Don't get me wrong, I don't own a bike, my dad doesn't like his Harley, says his old Cushman scooter is better. I don't own a Jap car either, I am a Chevy man, and before that a Ford man, my favorite car happens to be the (vintage) Mustang.
130
posted on
05/07/2006 6:16:17 PM PDT
by
lmr
(You can have my Tactical Nuclear Weapons when you pry them from my cold dead fingers.)
To: yeff
Those stalls are just handicap accessible, not specially set aside for handicapped people. You can use them.
131
posted on
05/07/2006 6:47:02 PM PDT
by
Buck72
To: lmr
I got a '94 Harley Nostalgia and sold my 55' Chevy First Series Truck to get it. I sold my 66' Mustang 289 Convertible two years ago, I just was looking for a new toy and refuse to have several Money holes at one time. Like you, I was a Ford Truck man until a 2001 Chevy Silverado extended cab 4X4 was offered to me at $8K below cost by an Uncle of mine. The Chevy is nice but I like the Fords. Getting back to the bike, yes, the Rice Burners are more dependable and function better but the Harley is fun to ride.
To: maine-iac7; nuconvert; A knight without armor
Wanna have a fun time? Next time you're in a restaurant with someone, quietly and slowly, while in conversation, start pushing or putting things, like the salt/pepper shakers, the posy vase, etc - over the halfway line onto their side of the table. Watch them start to fidget and get more and more uncomfortable - You are 'intruding' on their invisible demarcation line ...it's called "territorial imperatives" - I'd be willing to bet that their "fidgeting" and discomfort had less to do with any "territorial imperatives" than it did with their rising concern that they were seated at a table with someone who was obviously playing some passive-aggressive game, or who was so tightly wound that he couldn't stand to have objects on his side of the table and might snap at any moment.
133
posted on
05/07/2006 7:08:39 PM PDT
by
Ichneumon
(Ignorance is curable, but the afflicted has to want to be cured.)
To: Hildy; sig226; sgtbono2002
I've never had service that I deemed to be "untippable." If the service were bad enough that I wouldn't leave a tip, I'd probably just talk to the manager. Be doing the restaurant a favor. Furthermore, if you just don't leave a tip at all, most waiters would presume that you were just one of those a**holes who never tip "on principle", instead of concluding that you were trying to "make a statement" about the service. It's better to leave a substandard tip for substandard service, than to leave none at all.
Also, in my experience it's amazing how many people who make a point of loudly proclaiming "I don't think you should tip if the service is bad" manage to find reason to decide that the service is "bad" more times than not... e.g. "Hey, my water glass ran dry for thirty seconds before the waiter came by to refill it -- bad service, no tip for you!" Okay, that's an extreme example, but I've seen too many tightwads "justify" their crappy tipping on the thinnest of excuses, or because (from similar motivation) they set their standards of "good service" ridiculously high.
Hint: If you leave substantially less than the standard 15-20% tip more often than 1/5 of your restaurant visits, you're a cheapskate -- service isn't *that* bad *that* often. Or if it is truly that bad, it's because a) you specialize in picking trashy dives to eat in, or b) you keep doing something to inspire most waiters to snub you. And either way, *you're* the problem, don't take it out on the wait staff.
134
posted on
05/07/2006 7:22:14 PM PDT
by
Ichneumon
(Ignorance is curable, but the afflicted has to want to be cured.)
To: vetvetdoug
I sold my 66' Mustang 289 Convertible two years ago
That is one car I would love to be seen around town in. Someday, I may buy one.
135
posted on
05/07/2006 7:30:42 PM PDT
by
lmr
(You can have my Tactical Nuclear Weapons when you pry them from my cold dead fingers.)
To: yeff
136
posted on
05/07/2006 7:32:40 PM PDT
by
Scarchin
(www.classdismissedblog.com.)
To: FarmerW
When I was about 16, my uncle took me to an airshow at Cannon AFB in Clovis, NM. We parked somewhere out in the boonies. When we got close to the public entrance, my uncle (a Korean vet who was in a wheelchair) tossed me his keys and asked me to go get the pickup and pull it into an open handicapped space.
When I parked, a couple of MPs came over to bawl me out for parking there. Luckily, my uncle saved my bacon and we ended up having a good conversation with the MPs.
I've never been tempted to park in a handicapped space. Between respect for my uncle and fear that those MPs will show up again, I'm not even interested.
137
posted on
05/07/2006 10:03:56 PM PDT
by
Stegall Tx
(I promise to never transcribe again.)
To: nuconvert
Who can hear a Harley over the giant-subwoofer boombox cars? These things cause earthquakes.
138
posted on
05/07/2006 10:06:29 PM PDT
by
Pelham
("Doing the jobs that Americans won't do")
To: Psycho_Bunny
The only difference between a Hoover and a Harley is that you can only fit one dirtbag on a hoover.
To: Constantine XIII
140
posted on
05/07/2006 10:17:27 PM PDT
by
Smokin' Joe
(How often God must weep at humans' folly.)
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