Posted on 05/14/2006 9:17:44 AM PDT by butternut_squash_bisque
Your 5 year old kid getting pushed down by another 5 year old kid is NOT a police matter; talk to the other kid's parents, not the police
If your kid won't do his homework or do his chores, 911 is not the answer
If a cop causes a car accident we usually get a ticket, and sometimes we get suspended. When is the last time you got 3 days off (without pay) for rear-ending a guy at Wal-Mart?
If you think you can fan all the pot smoke out of the car before we smell it, good luck.
We know you've had more than two beers. When I've had two beers, I didn't hit six parked cars, drive my car through the front doors of a Toys-R-Us, pee my pants or pass out at a traffic light
When you see an emergency vehicle behind you with its lights and sirens on, pull to the RIGHT, and stop. We are usually required to pass cars on the left.
When you're driving in the fast lane and you see a cop behind you, don't go 5 MPH under the speed limit. We are not impressed by how safe of a driver you can be, we're trying to go help someone (or catch that guy in the SUV that just cut you off). Safely move over and let us pass please.
If you get a warning instead of a ticket from a motorcycle cop, go buy a lottery ticket, because you've already beaten the odds.
When you see an officer conducting a traffic stop, or with a suspect in handcuffs, it is generally not a good idea to approach him and ask for directions. If you do, don't expect the officer to be nice when he tells you to get lost, and don't expect the officer to take the time to explain.
Here's how to get out of a ticket. Don't break the law.
If you drive a piece of crap, that is why you're getting pulled over.
In one week I pulled over 10 cars for minor traffic violations. 5 out of 10 had no vehicle insurance. 3 out of 10 had suspended driver's licenses. 2 out of 10 had warrants. 1 out of 10 had felony warrants. 1 was a known sex offender with his 12 year old niece in the car without her mothers knowledge.
If you've just been pulled over doing 70 in a 35, do not greet the officer with "what seems to be the problem, officer."
We get coffee breaks too, and sometimes we run into stores and do some shopping during them.
When you're the victim of a burglary, take the time you spend waiting for the officer to find the model number and the serial number of the stuff that was taken.
Some cops are just jerks, but take heart in the fact that other cops don't like them either.
If it's nighttime and you're driving a vehicle with tinted windows and I pull you over, it's not because of your skin color. I usually can't tell if the vehicle even has a driver until the windows rolled down.
Every time you hear on the news about people running away from a c razed gunman, someone's son or daughter in a police uniform is running TOWARD that crazed gunman.
Yes, it's true, cops usually don't give other cops tickets. Think of it as an employee discount, perk or benefit. Other cops are family and you wouldn't give your brother a ticket if you were a cop either.
If your local police agency has a helicopter, everyone knows it's loud and annoying, but did you know it can cover the same area as 20 patrol officers and safely chase criminals that are driving 90 MPH through city streets. Many times the guy has no idea it's there and slows down
Police work is .. writing reports.
If you rob a gas station you're only going to get about $100, but I get to see a K9 dog use your arm as a chew toy. For all I care you can keep the $100.
In one year of patrol work in a large city, only about ten minutes would be cool enough to be on the television show Cops.
Every traffic stop could end in gunfire, but we have to be polite and professional until that time.
I've taken about the same amount of men and women to jail for domestic violence, so NO it's not always the man.
People love fire fighters.
If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
Cops know you pay taxes and that your taxes pay cops' salaries. Cops also pay taxes, which also pay cops' salaries so, hey, this traffic stop is on me. Now sign here; press hard. There are four copies.
Uniformed Armed Tax Collector Humor
Very nice. Thanks for the laugh this morning...and thanks to all the police officers out there! We appreciate your efforts!
"I'm all out of empathy, but I've got some apathy if you need it." PING
ping.
Let's turn this thread into something special.
"Yes I do have the right to stand right next to you. (said just before she tried to walk away, tried to hit me, and got dumped.)
In case you haven't seen this,
For Mother's Day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhcA4Ry65FU
Not long before that,Sonny Boy,a cop on the same force and the Police Chief's son,was charged with having used his girlfriend as a punching bag...but only after she raised holy hell in the local paper about no action having been taken on the police complaint she filed.
Sonny Boy went to court and got *zero* punishment.Sonny Boy was not suspended from the force for a single day,but *was* confined to desk duty for a couple of weeks (probably because,in Massachusetts,when you have charges pending against you for domestic violence you can't be in possesion of a firearm).There was never a single word uttered about Sonny Boy resigning his position on the Police force or about him being fired.
Absolutely *nothing* came of the accusations against Daddy Police Chief.The same story which first revealed the accusation quoted a town official as saying there was nothing to the accusation and that no investigation would take place...at any level of Town government.
Yes,most cops are basically decent.Yes,most police forces are respectable.But power *can* corrupt,and when you're in a rich left wing town,everything's just peachy as long as property values are skyrocketing and "the great unwashed" are kept out of town,except to mow the lawns.
Nothing like smart-assed cop humor to remind me why they get on my nerves. Grow up!
LOL...I read that at Officer.com a while ago. Still a good one
Actually that was my last arrest two nights ago.
OMG, that was way too funny and having three boys I can really relate. Thanks for sharing.
hahahahahahahahaha!
If the fines are included in the City Budget and they have goals and targets its a TAX
TT
>>If you drive a piece of crap, that is why you're getting pulled over.<<
Hopefully that is not true. I'm frugal with cars - they depreciate. I bought a decent house, though, its an investment.
>>I've taken about the same amount of men and women to jail for domestic violence, so NO it's not always the man.<<
That is hard to believe.
That is funny, and soooo true.
More women kill their children then men do.
>>More women kill their children then men do.<<
I've read that.
but since overall in domestic violence directed at women outnumbers violence at men by 5:3 and its 2:!for serious violence it surprised me to see as many women as men arrested.
No, it's not. My idiot sister-in-law spent several hours in the pokey for trying to put her boyfriend-at-the-time's head through a car window.
I've read some stories of guys getting smacked around, but I think it's pretty disproportional, as you say.
>>I've read some stories of guys getting smacked around, but I think it's pretty disproportional, as you say.<<
I would also think/hope that men are less likely to call the police in the first place.
And what shall I do if officer Friendly-pants comes around to confiscate my guns? You tell me what I should do.
You have to decide that for yourself. I already know what I will do.
Let me try to address this:
BEFORE that happens, you should be involved enough in your local government that the executive knows that that kind of crap won't be tolerated.
Whose fault is it that clowns like Nagin get elected and that they can hire police chiefs who command offices to do that?
Freedom isn't free, as they say, and the rights granted by God and guaranteed (for what it's worth) in the Constitution STILL need to be fought for.
To look a little larger: Is the only valid exercise of government power the one that I approve of? I can't think that an affirmative answer would be practical. Consequently I am open to deeds on the part of my government which I may think wrong.
If it is right that a police officer obey only those laws and orders he likes or approves of then your franchise is deprived of some meaning. The problem of an officer coming to confiscate your guns is at least part of the problem of living in a society of people with differing opinions AND, in part, the result of people not involving themselves in the political duties of citizenship.
Finally, when officer Friendly-pants comes by with confiscation on his mind, you must prepare to fight and probably die, or you should hand over the weapons (at least the ones he finds) and then call the NRA.
That's my best effort. Sorry it's not better.
(Signed),
M. D. Friendly-pants
And if those who passed the City Budget and established the goals and targets were duly elected (or appointed by those duly elected) then it's a case of taxation with representation. So that would be okay, right?
Dangit, you coulda told me to finish my coffee first!
SPEW!!!
That was hilarious...
Wait till you see the next one down the thread. :-)
Oh you did see it......isn't that hilarious? So familiar!
>>>>>"then it's a case of taxation with representation. So that would be okay, right?"<<<<<
I'm in Patrick Henry's corner on this one, I don't rent Liberty.
.A few on this thread conveniently skipped right over that accurate one.
Some places, such as New Jersey, but notmy state, have vehicle inspections and your car can't be missing a quarter panel and be legal.
I'd say 60/40 male to female imex. Sometimes they both go
Best excuses to give to Law Enforcement: (The Game Warden)
GW: What ya' got there son?
You: Couple of rabbits for dinner, sir!
GW: You know those aren't in season?
You: Oh, I know sir, but I plan on seasonin' 'em before I cook 'em!
(Traffic Cop on New Year's Eve)
TC: You know this is the most dangerous night of the year to be on the road?
You: Oh yes sir! That's why I'min such a hurry to get off it!
(Vice Cop)
VC: Don't I know you from somewhere?
You: I use to do some porn films, do watch a lot?
ping
>>Some places, such as New Jersey, but notmy state, have vehicle inspections and your car can't be missing a quarter panel and be legal.<<
I can see that - that's a safety issue. It's hard for fender crumple zones to work if you don't have fenders....
>>Some places, such as New Jersey, but notmy state, have vehicle inspections and your car can't be missing a quarter panel and be legal.<<
I can see that - that's a safety issue. It's hard for fender crumple zones to work if you don't have fenders....
In all seriousness (is this a digression or what?) how do you propose that governments pay their bills and how do you propose to enforce laws and codes?
I despise all nanny Laws but they are the Cash Cows of the local PD so there is a fundamental divergence between LE and me.
I think that the LE acts on what the elected and appointed people decide, legislate, and in the worst case tolerate. I think your problem is NOT with LE, but with the orders they get. That's like being angry at the hand of the person who slaps you.
As I tried to say in another post on this thread, it seems to me almost inevitable that LE are going to be asked to do things you disagree with and different things that somebody else disagrees with. If LE only does those things that each individual officer thinks right in themselves (as opposed as right because they were decided by duly elected or appointed people and so forth), then we have lost our representative polity. To get back to the hand analogy, the person is not fully free if the hands do not obey the mind. If LE disobeys a government which reaches decisions you think wrong, can you expect their faithful execution of their duties when the government decides in a way you think to be right?
I think the vast majority of us are not sufficiently involved with local or even state politics and so they develop a life of their own.
In my county we certainly do not make significant money off of traffic fines.
He amused himself by calling 911 to report a murder. He then recounted a few details he'd picked up from listening to CSI while he was supposed to be sleeping the night before.
Just as I was getting out of the shower, there was the knock on the door. Two of our city's finest greeted me, explained that they had gotten a report of a murder off a call placed from our address.
The first cop stayed cool, but when I turned and snarled my son's name the second cop went from a grin to a belly laugh that just about sent him off the porch.
*I* was not so amused!
What is that line about "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing?"
The PD reflects the city government. The city government was elected. There is nobody there to remind them of right and wrong or of constitutional or moral limitations on their powers. The story about your tools is an outrage. Sounds to me like a local government that has lost sight of right and wrong. Who's going to MAKE them remember?
LE should not be Pawns. The Law does not change from one Mayor to the next.Work it out, please. Yes the law does not change as you say, but there are not enough cops, usually to enforce every law. Which laws get enforced is usually determined by the chief, and his job is determined by the mayor or executive of the local government. Nearly all of us have an idea about how things SHOULD be. The tricky part is about how to get there.
I think the question about cops and taxes is wrongly phrased. Folks who do that kind of thing can probably make a pretty good guess about how many speeders there are and how many can be summonsed -- and about how much that's going to turn out to be in fines and costs. If the speed laws are passsed with the main intent of raising revenue, that's wrong, and to the extent that your question applies, the answer is that the local government is misusing the police power. But if the speed limits, etc. are placed with proper intent and the cops are told to enforce them, then I don't think there's a legitimate beef.
For the time being I'm going to stick with the idea that if the citizenry is vigilant, invovled, and crafty we can keep the corruption of the local pols down to an acceptable level. When we stand back and content ourselves with muttering into our beer, then the pols take over.
First... I am not a Sheep to be Shorn.
I used to run 200 sheep and to shear them. Most of them complained. Not a damn one did anything effective about it, though a few rams made it pretty difficult -- and there's nothing more irritating than shearing a yearling ewe.
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