"Mommy, Mommy, can you show us that picture of Daddy?"
"Sure, Honey..."
Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
I didn't/couldn't read the story past the 2nd paragraph, because my thinking was "No mystery here, they don't have husbands because they really don't want husbands."
And there it is, proof positive. "I don't."
The kind of woman that *desires* to raise a child without a father does not compute for this guy (and probably most guys), and so we have the answer to her dilemma: she doesn't want a husband, and potential husbands don't want her.
To bad for the kid to be raised with such a whacko.
I agree. (And I'm female.) I look primarily for widowed men. At my age, I'm not looking for some guy with a gaggle of child support to pay and a string of failed relationships.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1635950/posts?page=7#7
Sad day ping........
I note that you can't "miss" that which you never had. If these kids have never had a Dad, they'll never know what they're missing.
You don't know that.
Perfectly smart and understandable. And very wise! Good luck in all things! ;-)
Hire a hooker.
I'll be worried when something is invented to take out the garbage.
Nice choice of words.
But they are really just part of the socialist stud farm, desiring their luckless children be raised by indifferent strangers in government-funded day care centers while they hang out admiring their belly buttons with their fellow hedonists bragging about their many wonderful accomplishments. It's all about their egos.
These are total losers. Unfortunately, "their" children are the worse losers!
Isn't that just the saddest statement? SHE needed. Based on my experience, the last selfish thought we ever had was I want a baby. Everything, every meal we ate, every penny we spent, every plan we made was overshadowed by that last selfish thought.
SHE needed. I hope she knows how to get over her other NEEDS going forward, because the only needs we had time to fulfill were those of our children.
What a goof. No wonder she couldn't find a husband. Too centered on HER needs.
>>Nice choice of words.
Oops. ;^)
At least they are choosing to have children. Its better than just sleeping with anyone you want without protection and producing children without wanting them.
"Mommy, Mommy, can you show us that picture of Daddy?"
"Sure, Honey..."
I believe that Nazi Germany experimented with this kind of insane immoral idea.
Mow a lawn you lazy POS.
They're just getting paid to do something they'd probably be doing anyway--only save the results.
"You too can wank your way to a college degree in your spare time...."
""I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said."
Cripes, like a 13-year-old has enough life experience to be a valid source of opinion. Not to mention that by most estimates, her frontal lobe has 7 more years to go to maturity, so she has questionable judgement too.
Very well said! Gave me chills.
Any parent that thinks their life is about their needs
do not get what parenting is.
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