Would-be robber asks bank how to do it (D'Oh!)

Reuters ^ | Thu Jun 1, 2006 9:03am ET

[sully777]

TOKYO (Reuters) - A would-be Japanese bank robber asked staff how he should carry out the crime before meekly obeying a request to leave and then accidentally stabbing himself in the leg with a knife he was carrying.

The 58-year-old unemployed man went into a branch of the Saitama Resona Bank in the town of Kumagaya, north of Tokyo, on Wednesday, intending to rob it, a police spokesman said.

According to local media reports the man first asked a bank teller, "Any idea how you rob a bank?" The teller alerted another member of staff, who asked the man to leave.

"He left quietly when asked to," the police spokesman said.

However, the staff member escorting the man out of the bank noticed the knife sticking out of his pocket and a bloodstain on his trousers.

Police arrested the man for illegal possession of a weapon.

"He didn't brandish the knife at anyone ... but he injured himself in the leg," the police spokesman said.

[sully777]

Police photograph robber's knife as evidence during botched bank robbery.

[sully777]

PING

[kinoxi]

funny stuff. :)

[Slings and Arrows]

Police arrested the man for illegal possession of a weapon.

He's already been punished: A life sentence of Stupid.

[King Prout]

no one ever got poor by betting that criminals tend to be stupid.

[jazusamo]

Sounds like something that should have happened in Mayberry with Barney the arresting officer.

[coconutt2000]

58 years old, unemployed... stabbed himself with his own knife... not in a struggle either.

I wonder if Darwin's survival of the fittest was too late, and this guy has offspring running around.

[sully777]

This Barney?

[sully777]

You never hear about the smart ones.

[jazusamo]

That's close enough...LOL

[King Prout]

politicians.

[decal]

I dunno, maybe I'm reading between the lines too much here.

This is a "58-year-old unemployed man."

Sounds like someone who just got laid off from his "guaranteed for a lifetime" job and has no idea what to do now.

[sully777]

ping

[Darkwolf377]

A would-be Japanese bank robber asked staff how he should carry out the crime before meekly obeying a request to leave and then accidentally stabbing himself in the leg with a knife he was carrying.

Looks like Sean Penn's fallen on hard times.

[sully777]

Looks like Sean Penn's fallen on hard times.

---

Remembering New Orleans fondly hehehehe...

[rzeznikj at stout]

Thanks for the ping...8^)

[MrCruncher]

Sean Penn is a 58-year-old Japanese man?

I thought he was a he was a former US citizen who decided to become a Saddamite.

[I_like_good_things_too]

Hey! Something Americans are definitely better than the Japanese at!

[Darkwolf377]

Joke.

[Darkwolf377]

Yeah, he seems to have trouble with weapons.

[MrCruncher]

Like all those from Hollywood, he is one of the great minds of the century.

[Darkwolf377]

Like all those from Hollywood, he is one of the great minds of the century.

I know a few people who work in Hollywood, and it's amazing the stories they tell about the hangers-on and yes-men who surround these people. No wonder they think George Clooney is some kind of genius. (Someone told me about his Oscar speech, in which he said Hollywood was at the forefront of making movies about social issues. What BS--they're so liberal and they didn't make a major movie about AIDs--"Philadelphia" until what, 1994?)

[MrCruncher]

Clooney has an Oscar?

.

Edward G. Robinson doesn't have an Oscar.

He was never even nominated for one.

[MrCruncher]

I haven't seen a movie in 15 years.

Am I missing anything?

[farfromhome]

This sounds like something out of "Monty Python":

Learning Japanese == Lesson 14 "The Bank Robbery"


Man: I would like to rob the bank.

Teller: I'm sorry sir, but I haven't completed the bank's robbery training. I wouldn't know how to fill out the paperwork, so I'm afraid I can't help.

Man: I see. Is there someone else that can help me rob the bank?

Teller: Mr. Sato has completed the training, but he is away on a vacation to Hokkaido.

Man: Do you know when he will be back?

Teller: He should be back next week. You could leave a note and he'll call you when he returns.

Man: I guess that would be alright.

Teller: We also have this brochure you might want to read. It is produced by the ministry of fisheries, ice hockey and bank robberies.

Man: Thank you very much. Oh. Do you know if I will need a gun or a bomb for the robbery? All I have is this rusty old sushi knife.

Teller: I'm sure that will be fine as long as it can cut.

MAN WALKS IN IN A SCUBA SUIT (This is Monty Python after all)

[Darkwolf377]

Edward G. Robinson doesn't have an Oscar. He was never even nominated for one.

Lots of deserving people never got an Oscar--Hitchcock only got an honorary one, Kubrick for special effects, Scorsese, nothing, Cary Grant, nothing.

They give them out to people for copying the mannerisms of famous people like June Carter Cash and Truman Capote and Katherine Hepburn.

I wish I could say you were missing something, but I am a huge movie fan and I have gone to the movies maybe 3 times in 2006. I don't even have a movie rental membership. I have hundreds of DVDs, most of them to movies from the 30's-early 80's.

Of late I've liked The Aviator, the Lord of the Rings, Collateral.

You're not missing much. Movies are not only made pretty much only for kids these days, but for stupid kids.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

I haven't seen a movie in 15 years.
Am I missing anything?

They put out about two movies worth watching a year so a bit but not a lot.

[G. Stolyarov II]

Most criminals and would-be criminals are not masterminds; they are exceptionally stupid and lacking in common sense. Perhaps this is why they were attracted to crime in the first place. This is a prime example.

I am
G. Stolyarov II
http://www.risingsunofnihon.com