Posted on 06/07/2006 11:10:49 AM PDT by Positive
Well, I've been around here for 8 years or so...
I don't think I have ever asked Freepers for help for myself. I have asked for help for a person in distress who is from the UK and was having a crisis in Fresno, CA...Freepers came through.
So here is my problem...my 18 year old daughter, who was raised by her mother since our split 8 years ago, announced at her high school graduation last Sunday that she will be attending San Francisco State University.
I have spoken with her about it, and the conversation was confrontational and unproductive...
Please, anybody, would you share with me any information that might cause her to reconsider...she knows I'm a conservative, she "knows" she's a liberal...in fact, of course, as is usually the case when one is 18 she "knows" everything....
So, don't pay the tuition. Let her pay for it.If she is paying, it's her dime.
Who's paying her way through college?
Is she paying for her own education? If so, she can procure it where she likes.
If, on the other hand, you are paying for her education, you get to pick the venue.
BTW, how did she apply to this particular school without your knowing?
Find out if it is a good school, Liberal or not. If so, roll with it.
Let her go. There's nothing you can do at this point; she's 18 and can theoretically think for herself.
You might have to resign yourself to having a liberal daughter, because reality sure won't smack her in the Bay Area.
Will you be able to say or do antything that will change her mind? Or will you just "drive" her to do it?
Tell her that the best happy hour is at either Chili's in the Stonestown mall or the Elephant Bar in Daly City.
Best pool table and karaoke is at Molloy's in Colma.
Pray she majors in something that will earn a decent living. Once she starts her career, taxes and interaction in the business world should aid in her "awakening" to real life and conservatism.
He who has the gold makes the rules....
Tell her it's her decision, but you will not support it financially.
Actions have consequences. She'll learn more from that then 8 years at SF State.
Sometimes immersion into a liberal enclave can be an eye-opening experience. Seeing the hypocrisy firsthand.
Some of what she observes make not register for a couple years. And some may be dismissed as an "abberation".
Who is paying for her education? My parents contributed $ to my college education and with that came their input on the best colleges to attend and those they would pay for (and not).
If it is any consolation, my parents also considered me a liberal (and I probably was) until I started paying taxes with my first real job. Also, the friends I made in college are still my best friends and we are all now staunch conservatives.
First hand knowledge of the liberal insanity can in the long run make one understand why they are wrong and why conservatism is best.
Please, anybody, would you share with me any information that might cause her to reconsider
As one father to another, I get the feeling that this ship has passed. As someone else said, "roll with it"....
Tell her you've done some research and you now believe San Francisco State University is the perfect place for her to meet a young man she can marry who will take care of her the rest of her life.
Is she getting the in-state rate?
You know that they know everything at that age, don't you? (I did...). Most will learn EVERYTHING the hard way. (I did). Regardless of our wonderful experience and knowledge. It's stupid but seems to be a universal truth.
You are going to have to look long and hard to find any college or univesity that hasn't been infected. They're even in the church colleges.
Tell her you think it is wonderful she is moving closer to Michael Savage.
If she's paying, then wish her luck. If she expects you to pay.. tell her the bad news..
At any rate, if you're paying for college, don't pay up front.. Have your offspring come up with the money and you reimburse after you see the grades. This can be semester by semester or what ever you agree upon. And don't pay for classes that are below a certain grade..
It keeps them focused... and they appreciate how much work it takes to come up with the money
Or, on the other hand, you could just let her live her life.
That's the spirit! She has the rest of her lifetime to become conservative. She might become a NRA Lifetime regardless.
She may just have to go thru a few of those processes and the quicker she does the quicker she may change her view.
This, of course, will require you stepping out of the way as hard as that is...
Yeah, my 18 year old daughter knows everything also.
At least she did not pick out too crappy a school.
Who pays her tuition?
My daughter (more conservative than me!) had an $80,000 scholarship to Northwestern in Illinois. She went ahead and made a campus visit to Texas A&M even though she believed sh was going to Northwestern and called that weekend to tell me that she really wanted to go to A&M after the visit. She had already been accepted so it was an answer to this mother's prayer.
Tell her to keep away from any Lacrosse players they might have?
Ditto. I told my son I would pay for his college and he won't go.
I love it
I agree with the others: Just refuse to pay the tuition.
If she's paying for it herself, you can try to talk her into another university. Otherwise, there's not much you can do.
As a divorced dad, are you required to pay her college tuition? If so, don't you have a say as to which school she attends?
I tell my kids that, when they grow up, get jobs, and move out on their own, then they can start making their own decisions. As long as their father and I are paying their bills, it's up to us. That's what my parents always told me. I paid my own college tuition.
Don't worry. If she's observant at all, a few years of liberal outrage will turn her mind right. It happened to me.
I'd be more worried about what she's planning on majoring in, than what school. I'm no fan of SFSU.. but if she's planning on majoring in business she'll be ok.. if she's planning on majoring in womens studies... or some other ephemerial crap major, I'd sit down and just have a long talk with her about the financial cost and reward of such a foolish endeavor.
I was conservative long before I reached college and no school would have changed my mind on those principles even if I wound up at the most uberliberal university around.
Might work...
Was it Winston Churchill who said "If you're not a liberal when you're 20, you don't have a heart. If you're not a republican when you're 40, you don't have a brain."?
That's what Dad's are for.
Yes, she is a resident of Riverside County.
First, you have no choice. If you weren't the primary Parent, you just cannot expect that she will hew to your ideals.
Second, few college students really get involved in politics other than jsut spewing the tripe they feed them. All the blather and defiance they exhibit usually amounts to no real effect. It's just youthful blather with little thought of knowledge behind it.
Third, this is an opportunity for you and your daughter to take a new direction in your relationship. One that is adult oriented. You have the opportunity to discuss issues adult to adult (even though she is still young). You will be able to discuss the garbage she is learning in college, counter her blather with your own well founded Conservative facts, and both of you can act as adults in so doing.
If you do it right, you can actually gain respect for each other by discussing things like level headed and thoughtful adults. If she begins to get shrill with her leftism learned from the college, you have the chance to remind her that adults can discuss things with passion but not hatred!
Like many people, she may end up more conservative as the years go by and you might be a bedrock from which she might discover that conservatism.
Like I said, you might have an opportunity here for something good in the long run.
If she stays a leftist, lock your door and never let her come back!! Ha, ha.
Chill out. Good judgement comes from experience. Experience usually comes from bad judgement. She has to figure this out for herself. At least she is going to college and not hooking up with some bum, bad group of friends or knocked up. There is a bright side here...
What's the issue? You should back off. She should be liberal at 18. SFSU is a fine school.
Don't make it an issue or she will dig her heels in even harder. If it helps, my daughter is attending a liberal leaning private university. She's turned into a "greenie" and I hear constant comments about how the products I buy and use are destroying the rain forest (eyeroll). We're in Texas and she has an over abundance of sympathy for the plight of the "poor" illegals for which I could cheerfully slap her. But on the plus side she attends a campus church, thinks friends who drink and drive are stupid, she rejects drugs, she recognizes her English professor's lesbian agenda and resents having it crammed down her throat. She was raised with conservative values and I have faith a dose of life in the real world will revise some of her opinions. It's an age of experimenting with different ideas and being exposed to different ethics and value systems. Just pray!
Not exactly. Since Churchill was in Britain, he used the term "conservative", not "Republican".
Isn't this redundant? After all, she's going to SF State.
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