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Guns and Sons of Guns
Townhall.com ^ | June 8, 2006 | Burt Prelutsky

Posted on 06/11/2006 8:41:04 AM PDT by Conservative Goddess

I have a terrible confession to make. You see, even though I am not a hunter, never really considered Charlton Heston a very good actor and only recently joined the NRA—mainly so I could wear their cap and annoy my liberal acquaintances—I have no objection to my fellow citizens owning guns.

Understand, I am referring to decent, law-abiding people who realize that this is a rather violent society and that the police can't be everywhere at once. Without weapons, how are people supposed to protect themselves from rapists, killers and home invaders?

With a kazillion guns already in circulation, Brady Bill or no Brady Bill, I'm afraid we'll never again see the day that criminals have to make do with rocks and sharp sticks.

Oddly enough, it's often the very same people who get irate about their neighbors having the means to defend themselves who are the folks most opposed to mandatory sentences for gun-toting felons. It's as if they're against the possession of guns by amateurs but hate the idea of denying professionals the necessary tools of their trade.

However politically correct one chooses to be, the fact remains that in those states where people are allowed to carry weapons crime statistics plummet. And for once, statistics are borne out by common sense. After all, if you're a punk looking to mug someone, it figures you'll think twice if there's a good chance your intended victim is better armed than you.

But where guns are concerned, statistics and common sense rarely have the power to sway a liberal’s opinion. They simply won’t accept the idea that guns are ever used defensively to safeguard the innocent. So far as they’re concerned, the Founding Fathers were all drunk the day they drafted that part of the Bill of Rights having to do with bearing arms.

In terms of public relations, I think it would be wise if just once when some kid blasts a schoolmate Michael Moore and the rest of the anti-gun crowd didn't take such obvious delight in using the incident to beat the opposition over the head. In a nation of 300 million people, probably close to 10 percent of whom are here illegally, bad stuff is going to happen. It's a rotten shame, but it's unavoidable. Believe me, schoolyard bullies and math exams are a far bigger source of terror to most of our kids.

There is conclusive proof that the anti-gun zealots are less concerned with the safety of young people than they are with their own holy mission; otherwise, they would put guns on the back burner and concentrate, instead, on getting teenagers off the road. In a country where millions of adolescents are encouraged to start driving cars—cars fueled by a deadly mixture of gasoline and high-octane hormones—one can only laugh at the anti-gun crowd's pretense that public safety is their number one priority.

The battle, for the most part, comes down to liberals vs. conservatives. As usual, liberals turn their backs on common sense, preferring to appear compassionate.

Because they are stuck with an agenda, liberals are forced to parrot anti-gun propaganda even when, like the late columnist Carl Rowan and Sen. Dianne Feinstein, they, themselves, are discovered to be packing heat. And surely I wasn't the only person who yawned when Sharon Stone made such a big deal out of turning in her three roscoes. The point might have been made more forcefully if her bodyguards had turned in their artillery.

Do I think everyone should have a gun? Of course not. But is that something that keeps me up nights? Hardly.

Of far greater concern to me are the yahoos driving around in those lethal, over-sized, gas-guzzling, lane-straddling sport-utility vehicles. Armed with a feisty attitude and a few tons of steel, every soccer mom has become a full-fledged menace to society. I swear, there are more tanks to be found in the parking lot at the local supermarket than Gen. George Patton had to face during the entire North African campaign.

Burt Prelutsky has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. He is the author of Conservatives are from Mars (Liberals are from San Francisco).


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: bang; banglist; guns

1 posted on 06/11/2006 8:41:05 AM PDT by Conservative Goddess
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To: Conservative Goddess

Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars.


2 posted on 06/11/2006 8:51:25 AM PDT by umgud (FR, NASCAR & 24, way too much butt time)
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To: umgud
Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars.

We had a state legeslator (guess which party) suggest that all cars in NM should have brethalyzer interlocks installed.

3 posted on 06/11/2006 8:52:40 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Conservative Goddess
they would put guns on the back burner and concentrate, instead, on getting teenagers off the road. In a country where millions of adolescents are encouraged to start driving cars—cars fueled by a deadly mixture of gasoline and high-octane hormones—

This couldn't me more true to me. I have to go to the funeral home today for one of our employees only child. 17 year old daughter.

4 posted on 06/11/2006 8:55:04 AM PDT by digger48
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To: umgud; Badray

LOL...That's a great analogy. Wasn't it Jesse "The Body" Ventura who said: "My idea of gun control is two slugs through the same hole." Now that's my idea of proper gun control!!!

Badray, check out # 2.......great analogy there.


5 posted on 06/11/2006 8:56:03 AM PDT by Conservative Goddess (Politiae legibus, non leges politiis, adaptandae)
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To: digger48

Oh mercy......prayers for the family. That hits real clost to home.....my daughter is 17.


6 posted on 06/11/2006 8:57:09 AM PDT by Conservative Goddess (Politiae legibus, non leges politiis, adaptandae)
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To: Conservative Goddess
...cars fueled by a deadly mixture of gasoline and high-octane hormones....

Dangit! Another fuel additive. No wonder the old van is running a little rough...

7 posted on 06/11/2006 9:02:22 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly.)
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To: GunsareOK

Thought you might like this - PING!!!

[Mr] T


8 posted on 06/11/2006 9:06:45 AM PDT by trooprally (Never Give Up - Never Give In - Remember Our Troops)
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To: Conservative Goddess
The family that shoots together is right on target, in more ways than one.

Bolt action .22s are great gifts for a girls 16th birthday. That way I can keep her hands off mine.
9 posted on 06/11/2006 9:15:39 AM PDT by PeteB570 (Guns, what real men want for Christmas)
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To: Conservative Goddess; umgud

That's brilliant.

Thanks for posting this article. It's great.


10 posted on 06/11/2006 9:34:01 AM PDT by Badray (CFR my ass. There's not too much money in politics. There's too much money in government hands.)
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To: Tijeras_Slim
We had a state legeslator (guess which party) suggest that all cars in NM should have brethalyzer interlocks installed.

In New Mexico, that's perfectly reasonable.

[I've lived there; I'm entitled to joke.]

11 posted on 06/11/2006 10:13:31 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Pray for peace, prepare for war.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Lemme put down my beer and reply. ;)


12 posted on 06/11/2006 10:14:33 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Conservative Goddess

The government can not deport the illegal aliens but I bet the Liberals would vote to consficate about 300,000,000 firearms in a blink of a eye. Why that would be easy. Bet they would makes all owners felons. Ya think.


13 posted on 06/11/2006 10:30:20 AM PDT by therut
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To: therut

Good point........we can't track down and deport the millions of illegals....but we can track down and confiscate all the evil guns. riiiiight. And I'm guessing we wouldn't get any AMNESTY for possession of an evil gun, now would we????


14 posted on 06/11/2006 10:33:57 AM PDT by Conservative Goddess (Politiae legibus, non leges politiis, adaptandae)
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To: Conservative Goddess
Gun control has never been, never well be about crime control.

All the crime control talk is just one excuse to try and disarm the people.

Gun control has and always will be about people control.

Disarm the people and you can control them leave them armed and you can not control them.

15 posted on 06/11/2006 10:38:17 AM PDT by riverrunner
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To: Conservative Goddess
With a kazillion guns already in circulation, Brady Bill or no Brady Bill, I'm afraid we'll never again see the day that criminals have to make do with rocks and sharp sticks.

Something to keep in mind is that in the days of rocks and sharp sticks, the thugs ruled. Firearms makes things a lot more equal for people who want to just live in peace with their neighbors.

16 posted on 06/11/2006 10:39:24 AM PDT by Tribune7
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To: Conservative Goddess

"Of far greater concern to me are the yahoos driving around in those lethal, over-sized, gas-guzzling, lane-straddling sport-utility vehicles. Armed with a feisty attitude and a few tons of steel, every soccer mom has become a full-fledged menace.."

Amen. I drive a small sedan, and it used to be just the wild eyed punks and gang bangers who would come up behind me in menacing fashion to make love to my Chevy's tailpipe. Now I often look back and I see an SUV driving woman with a cell phone growing out of her ear.


17 posted on 06/11/2006 11:24:11 AM PDT by Luke21 (Democrats hate us, our heritage, and our religion. They think we belong in cages. Never forget.)
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To: umgud; jigsaw
"Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars."

Excellent tagline material! (And it fits.)

18 posted on 06/11/2006 11:24:47 AM PDT by NicknamedBob (I grew up so long ago that being grown-up was more fun than being a kid!)
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To: NicknamedBob
Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars.

Agreed!   Honorary Tagline in the next Taglinus.

Thanks for the heads up.

19 posted on 06/11/2006 11:28:33 AM PDT by jigsaw (God Bless Our Troops. Our thanks to each and every one of you!)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

One of ours wanted to get guns out of the hands of drunk drivers.
I heard it and I still can't figure it out.


20 posted on 06/11/2006 12:09:39 PM PDT by oldfart (There are no dangerous weapons, only dangerous people and the most dangerous person is the one who h)
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To: oldfart

"One of ours wanted to get guns out of the hands of drunk drivers.
I heard it and I still can't figure it out."

It is easy to understand. That "Person of Concern" is deeply disturbed that drunks with a gun in both hands probably can't steer the car.

;-)


21 posted on 06/11/2006 12:35:32 PM PDT by GladesGuru (In a society predicated upon Liberty, it is essential to examine principles, - -)
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To: PeteB570
16? My boy got his lever-action Henry .22 for his 111th Christmas.

But our problems are reversed. I really like shooting his rifle.

L

22 posted on 06/11/2006 2:44:39 PM PDT by Lurker ("They still see you as the infidel, the other, and they'll still kill you. " Mark Steyn)
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To: Lurker
Girls, I got girls and I grew weary of them mooching my .22 . They kept diddling with the sights so I got them their own. Anytime we go to the range they pick something different from the Gun Safes.

As they say about the AR15 "It rocks!"
23 posted on 06/11/2006 2:50:22 PM PDT by PeteB570 (Guns, what real men want for Christmas)
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To: Lurker
"My boy got his lever-action Henry .22 for his 111th Christmas."

Just curious. What kinda vitamins do you all take?

24 posted on 06/11/2006 7:23:17 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (I grew up so long ago that being grown-up was more fun than being a kid!)
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To: Luke21

Look at my homepage....where you will see pictures of my Suburban....and the Freightliner with which I had a head-on collision. The suburban saved my life. I now drive a 6.0 L Turbo Powered Excursion....and I love it. From my cold dead hands....


25 posted on 06/11/2006 7:25:23 PM PDT by Conservative Goddess (Politiae legibus, non leges politiis, adaptandae)
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To: NicknamedBob
You got me on that one.

I meant to say his eleventh Christmas.

LOL.

L

26 posted on 06/11/2006 7:36:50 PM PDT by Lurker ("They still see you as the infidel, the other, and they'll still kill you. " Mark Steyn)
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To: PeteB570
Since I put the adjustable stock on my AR my boy thinks it's a gas to shoot.

I think he's just sucking up to his mother when he says he likes her Mini-14 better than my AR.

I just picked up an AK last week. I'll let you know what he thinks about that after we heat it up.

L

27 posted on 06/11/2006 7:38:16 PM PDT by Lurker ("They still see you as the infidel, the other, and they'll still kill you. " Mark Steyn)
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To: Conservative Goddess

"like the late columnist Carl Rowan and Sen. Dianne Feinstein, "

Ah damn, for a fraction of a moment I thought maybe Swinestien had died!


28 posted on 06/11/2006 7:41:27 PM PDT by Richard-SIA ("The natural progress of things is for government to gain ground and for liberty to yield" JEFFERSON)
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To: Lurker

Oh.


Darn.

I take Vitamin C, and E, and I use Cayenne capsules, Lecithin, garlic pills, and a host of other concoctions.

I got a ways to go to catch up with a hundred and eleven. I'll let you know how it works out in about five decades.


29 posted on 06/11/2006 7:53:59 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (I grew up so long ago that being grown-up was more fun than being a kid!)
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To: umgud

Why own an SUV?

Hold a Tennis ball over a basketball. Drop them together.

Guess which one goes further? Which one do you want to ride?

Just a hint. Try this outside.


30 posted on 06/11/2006 8:38:54 PM PDT by donmeaker (Burn the UN flag publicly.)
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To: donmeaker
F350 Quad cab long bed 4X4 diesel now. I thought my F250 Quad cab 4X4 was too small. I don't have any problem with the soccer Mom's, they get out of my way.
Why do I drive one? So that my family has more steel around it when the Yugo drivers gets a terminal case of liberal stupidity.
31 posted on 06/11/2006 10:39:44 PM PDT by oldenuff2no
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To: Tijeras_Slim

"We had a state legeslator (guess which party) suggest that all cars in NM should have brethalyzer interlocks installed."

Heck, I think it's a great idea...

...as long as they put them on state legislators' cars first, AND insist that the state legislators' voting buttons in the House and Senate have the same sort of interlocks (no more voice votes).


32 posted on 06/12/2006 1:10:49 AM PDT by LibertarianInExile ('Is' and 'amnesty' both have clear, plain meanings. Are Bill, McQueeg and the President related?)
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To: oldfart
One of ours wanted to get guns out of the hands of drunk drivers. I heard it and I still can't figure it out.

kinda like MI? 1st offense DUI will prevent you from getting a CCW for 3 years, 2d offense will prevent it for 7.
if you're already licensed, penalties are as follows:
BAC of .02 - .07 = State civil infraction, $100 fine, and up to 1-year CCW license revocation.
BAC of .08 - .09 = 93-day misdemeanor, $100 fine, and up to 3-year CCW license revocation.
BAC of .10 or more = 93-day misdemeanor, $100 fine, and permanent CCW license revocation.
33 posted on 06/12/2006 7:22:08 AM PDT by absolootezer0 ("My God, why have you forsaken us.. no wait, its the liberals that have forsaken you... my bad")
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To: All

"Lord, make me fast and accurate."


"Aim small, miss small."

34 posted on 06/12/2006 7:36:00 AM PDT by monkapotamus
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To: Conservative Goddess

bttt


35 posted on 06/12/2006 9:20:52 AM PDT by EdReform (Protect our 2nd Amendment Rights - Join the NRA today - www.nra.org)
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To: oldenuff2no

LOL!


36 posted on 06/13/2006 1:50:24 PM PDT by proud_yank (Truth to liberals is as useful as a snowblower in hell.)
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To: Conservative Goddess
Can someone direct me to the government office where I can apply for a pemit to write my opinion in this forum and exercise my first amendment right. Do I need to take a "writing safety course" and is it not legal to write while "concealed?"
37 posted on 06/20/2006 8:43:13 AM PDT by tedbrass
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