Skip to comments.Take a Ride on the John Kerry WayBack Machine
Posted on 06/25/2006 11:14:51 PM PDT by Aussie Dasher
After making a wrong turn in the lobby of a Washington hotel a few weeks ago, I found myself having to edge my way out of a conference room filled with glassy-eyed liberals, standing in rapt adulation while Senator John Kerry (D-MA) stood on stage, publicly purging himself of his 2002 vote for the Iraqi war resolution. My good friend, Professor Maroon was with me. I was afraid this might happen, he said. Were in the middle of the Take Back America conference. Last time I saw a group of liberals look this catatonic was when Al Gore was in town. I almost feel bad for them, poor devils.
Forget them, Prof. Did you hear what Kerry just said? I thought he voted for intervention in Iraq? Now he says he was wrong. Now Im confused.
Well son, Im still working out some of the kinks, but lets head up to my room and step into my John Kerry WayBack Machine and look at some of Long Johns earlier statements about Iraq.
Here we go. Put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door knob. Cmon. Step in and dont be afraid but hold on. This could get bumpy!
Wow. Pretty cool! Stop here Professor Maroon 2002. The time gauge says October. Look! Theres Kerry now.
"I will be voting to give the President of the United States the authority to use force - if necessary - to disarm Saddam Hussein because I believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security."
Hey this is fun Professor. But lets ease up on the Kerry WayBack Machine lever a little. Here we go, December of 2003. Stop here.
"Their sudden embrace of accelerated Iraqification and American troop withdrawal dates, without adequate stability, is an invitation to failure. The hard work of rebuilding Iraq must not be dictated by the schedule of the next American election."
Did Kerry really say that Professor or is there something wrong with your invention?
Well, my boy. I might have to bring it in to the lab for some fining tuning. Then again, maybe weve entered a political wormhole, a disruption of the Space/Time Continuum, where things arent always what they seem to be. Lot of that going around in D.C.
A-w-w. This was starting to be fun Professor. Can we try it just one more time? Maybe set the machine to just a few days ago? Look Prof. Theres Kerry sulking on the Senate floor because only 6 of his fellow senators voted aye for his end-of-year troop withdrawal proposal. But Im confused. I thought he said at our last stop that he was against cutting and running? But wait, now hes talking with that fellow from Wisconsin, Senator Russ Feingold. Dont they make a pair?
Turn the Kerry WayBack Machine off a moment, Professor Maroon. I think the junior senator from Massachusetts is now saying that he and Feingold have a new withdrawal plan. July 2007? What??
Im afraid Im going to have to pull the machine back into the lab, my boy. Something must be wrong with it.
I dont know, Professor. Ive been taking some notes. Correct me if Im wrong, okay?
Lets see. Kerry voted for the use of force against Iraq. Check.
Kerry said a timetable for troop withdrawals is an invitation to failure. Check.
Kerry said he was wrong to vote for the use of force against Iraq. Check.
Kerry wants troops out of Iraq by the end of 2006. Check.
Kerry wants troops out of Iraq by July, 2007. Check.
Well son. Id rather be safe than sorry. It must be the Kerry WayBack Machine. This is still the beta version. Were heading back to the lab so I can take a look under the hood of this thing. No politiciancould flip-flop so many times on an important issue like Iraq.
"Why wont the fishy flip flop Mommy?"
I think if he'd just gone to Vietnam it might have been different...
Things would be different if he'd just GO BACK to Vietnam!
Why, when nothing's changed?
He's anti-American, anti-troops, and genuinly unlikable.
It's like the 1970s all over again.
Aw jeeze. Not this shit again.
Every time Kerry shoots himself in the foot, the Democrat Party limps for a month.
It's a good thing.
John F'n Kerry, John F'n Murtha, and Howard F'n dean - the gifts that just keep on giving!!!
(I just threw the "F'n" part in for the other two for consistency - something the Dems lack in general when you ignore their anti-Bush tirades)
I'm forecasting a beautiful day, with a 20 % chance of rain, a 5% chance of fog, A 15 % chance of high winds , a 2 % chance of snow.
The next day he of course comes on tv and Champions himself as always being right.
Go ahead, threasa, it won't hurt....too long.