Republicans Trounce Democrats for Another Baseball Victory (12-1)

Roll Call ^ | 6/30/06 | N/A

[frankjr]

In one of the more lopsided decisions in recent memory, the Republican baseball team dealt the Democrats their sixth straight defeat in the 45th Annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game, winning 12-1.

[frankjr]

A harbinger of November? I think so.

[GnL]

The Dems lost because they had nobody in center or right.

[phoenix0468]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Even their guys are a bunch a girls!! Losers!!

[phoenix0468]

[Beagle8U]

Hardly a fair contest, men against Sissy's.

[PhillyRepublican]

Did the democrats insist on getting trophies anyway? So their self esteme wouldn't suffer? Bunch of pansies.

[darkangel82]

Maybe some of the Republicans could pitch for the Indians, who just blew a 7-0 lead and lost.

[Politicalities]

Lots of athletes-turned-politicians are Republicans... Steve Largent, Tom Osborne, Lynn Swann, etc. I believe that once upon a time the GOP team had Jim Bunning pitching for them, but he's getting a bit on in years for that sort of thing.

[doug from upland]

Great comment. I presume we pitched Jim Bunning.

[doug from upland]

Oh, I guess not Bunning.

[mike1sg]

It's because they have nothing between their legs to scratch, and, well spitting is so vile and disgusting.

[IllumiNaughtyByNature]

The Dems lost because they had nobody in center or right.

I turned the game on and wondered by FOX SPORTS had everyone list as the "deep left-fielder" and McCain listed as a switch hitter.

Come on people give us your best position and player!

Lets make a starting line up!

[frankjr]

Here is the Dem's (far) left fielder...

[doug from upland]

That is one of my favorites.

[JohnLongIsland]

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

[ansel12]

"Lots of athletes-turned-politicians are Republicans... Steve Largent, Tom Osborne, Lynn Swann, etc"


Plus we have the Log Cabin Republicans (I think they are like Daniel Boone or something) my dad says some of them are switch hitters.

[A message]

Did the democrats insist on getting trophies anyway? So their self esteme wouldn't suffer?

lol

Democrats just had some DEFERRED SUCCESS.

hehe

[sportscaster]

The democrats however claimed victory as they were expected by most analysts to lose by 13-0 and therefore exceeded forecasts.

[LdSentinal]

Democrats blame their loss on Diebold and Katherine Harris.

[Donald Rumsfeld Fan]

[OrioleFan]

That far behind, there's a flip-flop rule.

[jdm]

I heard William Jefferson lost $90K and a freezer on this game.

[peggybac]

"Did the democrats insist on getting trophies anyway? So their self esteme wouldn't suffer? Bunch of pansies."

I'm surprised the dems allowed the game to be scored.

[Socratic]

Was Diebold keeping score?

[REDWOOD99]

I thought I heard the dems claiming that pre-game polls had them winning by a landslide so the actual results must be tainted.

[imahawk]

12 to 1? how can that be? how did the republicans get so many runs? kerry was pitching and couldnt get it over the plate. must have walked every one of those runs in.what a bunch of pansies.LOL

[Enchante]

The Demagogues never quite managed to field a full team -- they were too busy exchanging blow jobs in the clubhouse.

[Dick Vomer]

I'm waiting for the first intramural football game...bwahahahahah

[Cobra64]

[Christian4Bush]

The Dems lost because they had nobody in center or right.

Also, there must have been no adult men pitching for the Democrats. Isn't their slogan always "Women and children hardest hit"?

Expect a challenge from the Democrats, because - in their view - a host of blacks were disenfranchised from hitting.

[Christian4Bush]

The Dems lost because they had nobody in center or right.
I turned the game on and wondered by FOX SPORTS had everyone list as the "deep left-fielder" and McCain listed as a switch hitter.

Come on people give us your best position and player!

Lets make a starting line up!

---

Ok, I'll give it a try.

For the Democrats:

Left Field - Dennis Kucinich (WAY out in left field)
Center Field - Joe Lieberman (or so he'd have us think)
Right Field - Zell Miller
Shortstop - John Edwards
First Base - Al Sharpton (that's as far as his campaign got)
Second Base - Howard Dean
Third Base - Al Gore (he used to be the next to score at home)
Catcher - Hillary Clinton (those stubby legs could block any plate)
Pitcher - John Kerry (think Rick Ankiel/Mark Wohlers with 5x the $$$s)
Reliever/closer: Chris Matthews (throws the spitball)
Designated Hitter: Cynthia McKinney (oh, hitting BASEBALLS)
Manager: Bob Shrum (make that another 0-fer)
Bench Coach: John Murtha (but he's looking to be promoted)
Pitching Coach: Dick Durbin
Hitting Coach: Joe Biden (after one speech, his players would hit the deck)
Owner: the ACLU

For the Republicans:

Left Field - Lincoln Chaffee(WAY out in left field)
Center Field - John McCain/Lindsey Graham
Right Field - John Cornyn
Shortstop - Jeff Sessions
First Base - Phil Gingrey
Second Base - Larry Elder
Third Base - Condoleezza Rice (she does everything else...)
Catcher - J.D. Hayworth (woulda been better heavier, at blocking the plate)
Pitcher - Ann Coulter (can't hit a girl)
Designated Hitter: Rick Roberts
Manager: Dick Cheney
Bench Coach: Hugh Hewitt
Pitching Coach: Tom DeLay
Hitting Coach: Rush Limbaugh
Owner: George W. Bush (well, there IS precedent...)

The umpires:

Home plate: Chief Justice John Roberts
1st base: Justice Clarence Thomas
2nd base: Justice Samuel Alito
3rd base: Justice Antonin Scalia
Left field line: Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Right field line: Mark Levin

This is just off of the top of my head. Feel free to offer your suggestions.

[Christian4Bush]

Was Diebold keeping score?

hee hee hee hee hee snort hee hee hee snort

[doug from upland]

Good work.

[nopardons]

LOL

[Christian4Bush]

Good work.

Thanks, Doug.

I just thought this morning (cause I did all that stuff really late), that I have a good candidate for relief pitcher for the Republicans, someone who actually played baseball, for Cincinnati, and is now a Christian talk show host locally - Frank Pastore.

[doug from upland]

Of course, Frank Pastore. I've heard him interviewed on and subbing for Hewitt. What chance does Dennis Kucinich or Barney Frank have?

[dfwgator]

The Democrats all throw like girls.

[Christian4Bush]

Of course, Frank Pastore. I've heard him interviewed on and subbing for Hewitt. What chance does Dennis Kucinich or Barney Frank have?

I actually heard Frank speak at my former church, Hope Chapel in Hermosa Beach, back in the days when he used to substitute for Warren Duffy on KKLA (on the show he now hosts).

As for Kookcinich, I put him in left field because he's one of the most rabid lefties I know, but I think he could actually play baseball (vs. Ted Kennedy, who'd probably have a flask waiting in the bully). Of course, when the Dims inevitably lose, Dennis would charge that the Republicas are targeting civilians for strikeouts.

As for Barney Frank, he would definitely be on the bench. McGreevy might be with him...nope...not gonna do it...not gonna go there...wouldn't be prudent at this juncture.../Bush 41

[doug from upland]

McGreevey and Barney on the bench. Yuk.

[Christian4Bush]

McGreevey and Barney on the bench. Yuk.

Well, a manager has to manage to his players' strengths...if you can call it that. Fair enough, Barney and McGreevy are off the team. Of course, I could add, as a designated arguer, Lawrence O'Donnell ("CREEPY LIAR! THAT WAS A STRIKE! YOU LIAR!!!"). After all, he was a consultant on "The Left Wing" for a few years.

One addition I just thought of, as a reserve for the Democrats - Danny Glover. When he inevitably whiffs, he can complain about being "called out while black".

Who could be each team's broadcasters? (I can't do all the work! LOL)

[Donald Rumsfeld Fan]

[Tall_Texan]

The problem is McCain keeps going out to field with the Democrats.

[IllumiNaughtyByNature]

The funniest one (hard to choose) had to be Bob Shrum as manager. That actually made me LOL for real.

[NapkinUser]

"Designated Hitter"

They were playing wimpy American league phony baseball?

What's next? A designated runner and aluminum bats? Why not? The DH rule has made AL "baseball" a joke already.

[reg45]

The 'rats would probably win at soccer.

[NapkinUser]

"Designated Hitter"

They were playing wimpy American league phony baseball?

What's next? A designated runner and aluminum bats? Why not? The DH rule has made AL "baseball" a joke already.