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The Summit On Something (humor)
self | July 18, 2006 | demkicker

Posted on 07/18/2006 10:22:07 AM PDT by demkicker

Edited on 07/21/2006 6:40:27 PM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]

The Summit on Something





Mr. President, you’re gonna love this. Kofi Annan has called for a Summit Teleconference of some world leaders, including Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Bashar al-Assad and Ehud Olmert. And it starts in 15 minutes!





He’s already called several members of Congress and a select few political and media figures to participate in a dialog to resolve the Middle East crisis and they’re meeting at the Capitol.





Good grief, that interfering twerp will do anything for attention! Make sure Condi, Dick and Rummy are all patched through too.




Later……





Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, President Bush, Mr. Olmert in Israel.





I have managed, for the first time in history, to convince the honorable Bashar al-Assad and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to participate in this teleconference Summit to work out our differences.





THE HONORABLE?!





I have also invited some distinguished members of Congress and some well-known political and media figures to help work out this crisis.





Yessssssssssss! Great idea, Kofi, uh…. I mean Mr. Annan!





Hehehehe… This is gonna be rich.





Do you mind? You are NOT to be smoking that nasty cigar in our beloved Capitol!





I thought I smelled a right winged wacko! What in tarnation is HE doing here?





That’s what I’d like to know! Kofi, you said distinguished members of the media were invited.





With all due respect, Mr. Keller. I’m sure the Secretary General was trying to be fair and balanced with whom he invited to this Summit.





Oh great. You’re here too.





Will you shut up so we can get on with this? I should probably be in a bomb shelter at this very moment!





Yes, of course! I’d like to open up a free wheeling dialog between all of the warring parties so that we may have a compassionate understanding of one another.





I feel the mother of all migraines coming on.





Excuse me, Mr. Secretary, but I don’t like the wording you just used. Compassionate understanding? Israel was attacked by terrorists, for God’s sake!





Hold on there, Mr. Bolton. You can quit with your God talk. There is nothing wrong with having compassion and feelings for all parties involved here. I’ll not have you attack Hezbollah. And I can defend them if I want because I'm part Jewish, you know.





Part Jewish? Excuse me, but wouldn’t you and your uglier friend look better in burkas?





Nancy, are you going to let him talk to you like that?





???????





Hahahahahahaha….





Shush, shut up! I need all of those women’s support, you fool!





Can we get on with it? I’m tired of standing here.





Well, Mr. Putin, at least you have solid ground to STAND on, unlike the citizens of my country. The hands of my enemies are getting bloodier by the minute.





No blood on my hands. How about yours Assad?





Huh? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention….





Woah! Alright folks, so far this is nothing but a waste of everyone’s time. Only a fool would believe something can be solved in this so-called “Summit”.





I agree. Furthermore, Congress should convene immediately and vote to give our President the authority to support Israel militarily against Syria and Iran.





Convened and denied….





Yeah, here’s what we think of that idea!





Must you Americans keep dominating this Summit with your undignified mannerisms? Here in France, men and women are very conscious of our behavior and appearance.





Oui, Jacque, oui.





!!!





Just kidding, everyone! Thought I’d interject a little humor. Hehehehe….





Hahahahahaha….





This is the best time I’ve had in years….





If I may interrupt. I’d like to suggest we get back on track in this very serious business of saving lives and preventing this war from spreading.





Thank you, Tim. I interrupted my fast to be here on behalf of all democrats, communists and brainwashed Americans who are against the Iraq war.





"Thank you, God".





Thank you, Mrs. Sheehan. I can’t imagine how you are able to go without food. I couldn’t. I agree with you 100% that we should withdraw from Iraq immediately.





Wow, I just thought it was a headache. For some reason, I’m able to channel into all the leftist wacko clowns in Washington!





Sorry I’m late, everyone. Have I missed anything?





NO, YOU HAVEN’T!





Hey, does anyone else think it’s too warm in here?<





I cannot believe I’m watching my party self destruct and my Presidential chances crumbling before my very eyes!!!





Have I stumbled into the sequel of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest?





Harrumph…. Come on people, we’re better than this. Let’s put our heads together and figure this out!





If I may say, Senator, this forum isn’t working out very well.





Did you guys just here the negative tone of the Secretary of State? The Bush administration doesn’t want this Summit to work out! Condi just gave us our talking points for tomorrow’s news. Everyone get that?




<
Yes, we’ve got it, Bill. Brilliant…..





You’re the man, Bill Kellar, and I’ll tip my Stetson to that idea. If you need any freelance writing for the Times, you know I’ve got the courage.





Screw all of you transparent losers….





Hey, guys! Sorry I’m late. Been tied up with the eggs. If I’ve missed anything, just email me the talking points.





And people have the gall to make fun of me for using a tanning bed?





Excuse me, Secretary General, but Assad and I have a very important telephone call from an envoy we’ve sent to Israel. I really have to go now…




Private Phone Call…..


Geeze, I’ve been waiting forever! What are my instructions?





Vell, dahlings, it’s off to the blog for me. I vant to share this enlightening experience vith the vorld! If only the Bush administration would try listening for a change.





Well, on that note, I say we all adjourn. I want to celebrate these great soundbites for my show tomorrow and buy everyone the first round of drinks at the Hawk ‘n’ Dove!





I'll buy the second round and furnish premium cigars for anyone except Clinton.





Bill, we’ve GOT to do something to focus attention back on ME, er, us! It’s not fair that this war is drowning ME, er, us out. I’ve got an idea. Pack your bags and meet me at the airport. Don’t forget your swim trunks.





Okay, Keller, I need your help....





Why, of course, Mrs. Presi... uh, Mrs. Clinton. As always, anything. Anything at all.




Twenty-four Hours Later in Haifa, Israel…….





Keller contacted Hezbollah, so we don't have to worry about getting fired on, but where can we dance on this beach and not step on bomb fragments?




Meanwhile on the Iraq/Iran border…….





All clear, boss. Good luck!






TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: funny; g8summit; humor; satire
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1 posted on 07/18/2006 10:22:12 AM PDT by demkicker
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To: demkicker

ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY ARSE OFF


2 posted on 07/18/2006 10:28:09 AM PDT by Danae (Anál nathrach, orth' bháis's bethad, do chél dénmha)
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To: demkicker

Wow, nice work!


3 posted on 07/18/2006 10:30:43 AM PDT by yobid (Islam is a disease and death is the cure)
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To: demkicker
THAT WAS A RIOT!!
4 posted on 07/18/2006 10:30:46 AM PDT by houeto
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To: martin_fierro

Who is it that has the humor list? You Martin? This is some of the funniest stuff EVER!


5 posted on 07/18/2006 10:32:07 AM PDT by houeto
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To: demkicker
Excellent!
6 posted on 07/18/2006 10:32:13 AM PDT by Edgerunner (The WOT will not be won without Iran and Syria going down)
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To: demkicker

Kudos to demkicker. Great work!


7 posted on 07/18/2006 10:33:12 AM PDT by houeto
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To: King Prout

Must. See. This. KP!


8 posted on 07/18/2006 10:34:05 AM PDT by houeto
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To: Roscoe Karns; monkapotamus; governsleastgovernsbest; Miss Marple; eeevil conservative; Peach; ...

Ping...


9 posted on 07/18/2006 10:35:44 AM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: jimrob; netmilsmom; milagro; piperpilot; evad; AmericaUnited; mewzilla; dawn53; el_texicano; ...

Ping...


10 posted on 07/18/2006 10:38:32 AM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: SheLion

Need a laugh?!?


11 posted on 07/18/2006 10:38:53 AM PDT by houeto
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To: demkicker

my sides hurt!

please add me to that ping list!


12 posted on 07/18/2006 10:45:03 AM PDT by eeevil conservative (The ROADMAP to PEACE = DESTROY ALL TERRORISTS AND TERRORISM! PERIOD!)
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To: pabianice; ChocChipCookie; kellynch; gregwest; EagleUSA; JennysCool; Darkwolf377; redstates4ever; ..

Ping....


13 posted on 07/18/2006 10:52:09 AM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: demkicker

wow..awesome..please put me on the ping list for future eforts. Heck..I'll subscribe...


14 posted on 07/18/2006 10:52:48 AM PDT by ken5050
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To: demkicker

ROFL. Very good.


15 posted on 07/18/2006 11:08:58 AM PDT by Peach (Prayers for our dear friends in Israel.)
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To: Graybeard58; darkwing104; Flyer; humblegunner; Allegra; TheMom; Xenalyte; thackney; Eaker; ...

Ping....


16 posted on 07/18/2006 11:12:48 AM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: demkicker

LOL!


17 posted on 07/18/2006 11:20:37 AM PDT by Eaker (My Wife Rocks! - Travis McGee is my friend. “You’ll never need a gun, until you need it badly.”)
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To: demkicker
If Free Republic had a Pulitzer-type-Prize for creativity orininality and humor, you would win hands down--in all categories

Knowing how much work is involved to post ONE pic, this must have taken you some time--not to mention the "Brilliant" commentary.

Kudos and please, more, more, more.

Haven't had such a good belly laugh in a lonnnnnng time.

Thanks a million.

18 posted on 07/18/2006 11:30:33 AM PDT by seasoned traditionalist (ALL MUSLIMS ARE NOT TERRORISTS, BUT ALL TERRORISTS WHO WANT TO DESTROY OUR COUNTRY, ARE MUSLIMS)
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To: demkicker

NOW THAT'S FUNNY!!!


19 posted on 07/18/2006 11:35:48 AM PDT by marlon
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To: seasoned traditionalist

That last one of mullah bush is very funny. Thanks.


20 posted on 07/18/2006 11:44:40 AM PDT by ClaireSolt (.)
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To: seasoned traditionalist; All

Thanks so much for the compliments. I love laughing and sometimes it's hard to keep a sense of humor in difficult times. Glad it gave you a chuckle.


21 posted on 07/18/2006 12:06:14 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: Fudd Fan; RasterMaster; tiredoflaundry; MarkLevinFan; SoCalPol; CedarDave; Txsleuth

I've been told Mark Levin is a lurker, sometimes poster. If any of you know how to ping him or any of the conservative media stars in this thread, please feel free to do so.


22 posted on 07/18/2006 12:20:48 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: demkicker

My sides, my sides! LMAO!


23 posted on 07/18/2006 12:45:55 PM PDT by tiredoflaundry (The right wants victory, the left wants to surrender. It's that simple.)
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To: demkicker; holdonnow

Mark, read this, an do not have any liquids near the keyboard!
LOL!


24 posted on 07/18/2006 12:46:55 PM PDT by tiredoflaundry (The right wants victory, the left wants to surrender. It's that simple.)
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To: demkicker

Nice one!


25 posted on 07/18/2006 12:48:34 PM PDT by Doomonyou (Moderate Bumper Sticker: Bush Lied, Terrorists Died!)
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To: demkicker

Hahahahahahaha!
Good piece. Thanks!


26 posted on 07/18/2006 12:50:47 PM PDT by polymuser
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To: Alouette; slowhand520; Paleo Conservative; SerpentDove; bygolly; Vision; radar101; PA Engineer; ...

Ping...


27 posted on 07/18/2006 12:56:10 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: demkicker

Hillaryarious!


28 posted on 07/18/2006 12:59:34 PM PDT by litehaus
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To: demkicker

:) You must have been at that summit taking notes!


29 posted on 07/18/2006 1:12:40 PM PDT by Roscoe Karns
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To: MoochPooch; longtermmemmory; RaceBannon; backhoe; rlmorel; xzins; Convert from ECUSA; MarkL; ...

Ping....


30 posted on 07/18/2006 1:15:26 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: demkicker

That was great!


31 posted on 07/18/2006 1:34:21 PM PDT by DejaJude (Admiral Clark said, "Our mantra today is life, liberty and the pursuit of those who threaten it!")
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To: demkicker

Very nice work!!!


32 posted on 07/18/2006 1:34:47 PM PDT by grapeape (I like to make myslef feal superoir by pointing out peples spelin erer's and thpos)
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To: demkicker

Really funny!!!


33 posted on 07/18/2006 1:42:01 PM PDT by Yaelle
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To: demkicker

EXCELLENT work.


34 posted on 07/18/2006 1:44:11 PM PDT by pissant
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To: demkicker

Thanks for the *ping*

will do on today's Mark Levin thread.


35 posted on 07/18/2006 2:51:39 PM PDT by Fudd Fan (Help get Murtha out of Congress- donate at http://www.irey.com/)
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To: houeto

Thanks... I didn't know there was a humor ping list! How can I get my name added to it?


36 posted on 07/18/2006 2:56:00 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: angcat; MinorityRepublican; Lurker; dead; domenad; neverdem; proud_yank; cowboyway; Rummyfan; ...

Spread the humor ping....


37 posted on 07/18/2006 3:27:13 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: houeto

yes. thanks.


38 posted on 07/18/2006 3:31:26 PM PDT by King Prout (many complain I am overly literal... this would not be a problem if fewer people were under-precise)
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To: demkicker

well done.


39 posted on 07/18/2006 3:32:37 PM PDT by King Prout (many complain I am overly literal... this would not be a problem if fewer people were under-precise)
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To: Slings and Arrows; martin_fierro; Lazamataz

for your humor pinglists


40 posted on 07/18/2006 3:33:39 PM PDT by King Prout (many complain I am overly literal... this would not be a problem if fewer people were under-precise)
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To: demkicker

"Can we get on with it? I’m tired of standing here."

This was probably my favorite. You wouldn't want to mess around with Putin. He doesn't even seem like he has a sense of humor to me.

41 posted on 07/18/2006 3:35:12 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican (Everyone that doesn't like what America and President Bush has done for Iraq can all go to HELL)
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To: demkicker

bwwaahhhhhh!! Hilarious, thanks


42 posted on 07/18/2006 3:38:57 PM PDT by RDTF ("We love death. The US loves life. That is the big difference between us two.” Osama Bin laden)
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To: demkicker

LOL! Very funny. Putin was my favorite.


43 posted on 07/18/2006 3:41:25 PM PDT by Aquinasfan (When you find "Sola Scriptura" in the Bible, let me know)
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To: Aquinasfan
LOL! Very funny. Putin was my favorite.

I think we found Putin funny because that is what we would see in real life if this summit were actually going to happen.

44 posted on 07/18/2006 3:43:07 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican (Everyone that doesn't like what America and President Bush has done for Iraq can all go to HELL)
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To: demkicker

Looks like a membership list for the Political Screen Actors' Guild...


45 posted on 07/18/2006 3:44:07 PM PDT by bygolly
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To: MinorityRepublican
I think we found Putin funny because that is what we would see in real life if this summit were actually going to happen.

Yup. He seems so humorless.

46 posted on 07/18/2006 3:56:50 PM PDT by Aquinasfan (When you find "Sola Scriptura" in the Bible, let me know)
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To: MinorityRepublican
This was probably my favorite. You wouldn't want to mess around with Putin. He doesn't even seem like he has a sense of humor to me.

I know what you mean. His stance and scowl speak volumes. I was really glad to find that pic!

47 posted on 07/18/2006 3:57:26 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: demkicker

bumping!


48 posted on 07/18/2006 4:16:26 PM PDT by Roscoe Karns
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To: Roscoe Karns

Got your Private E. Glad mine inspired you to do another. It was your work and that of the guy on Wuzza Dem that inspired me!


49 posted on 07/18/2006 4:26:02 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: demkicker

I'm crowning you the humor queen. ROTFL!


50 posted on 07/18/2006 4:37:25 PM PDT by right wing (I BELIEVE CONGRESSMAN WELDON!)
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