Skip to comments.The Summit On Something (humor)
Posted on 07/18/2006 10:22:07 AM PDT by demkickerEdited on 07/21/2006 6:40:27 PM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]
Mr. President, youre gonna love this. Kofi Annan has called for a Summit Teleconference of some world leaders, including Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Bashar al-Assad and Ehud Olmert. And it starts in 15 minutes!
Hes already called several members of Congress and a select few political and media figures to participate in a dialog to resolve the Middle East crisis and theyre meeting at the Capitol.
Good grief, that interfering twerp will do anything for attention! Make sure Condi, Dick and Rummy are all patched through too.
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, President Bush, Mr. Olmert in Israel.
I have managed, for the first time in history, to convince the honorable Bashar al-Assad and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to participate in this teleconference Summit to work out our differences.
I have also invited some distinguished members of Congress and some well-known political and media figures to help work out this crisis.
Yessssssssssss! Great idea, Kofi, uh . I mean Mr. Annan!
Hehehehe This is gonna be rich.
Do you mind? You are NOT to be smoking that nasty cigar in our beloved Capitol!
I thought I smelled a right winged wacko! What in tarnation is HE doing here?
Thats what Id like to know! Kofi, you said distinguished members of the media were invited.
With all due respect, Mr. Keller. Im sure the Secretary General was trying to be fair and balanced with whom he invited to this Summit.
Oh great. Youre here too.
Will you shut up so we can get on with this? I should probably be in a bomb shelter at this very moment!
Yes, of course! Id like to open up a free wheeling dialog between all of the warring parties so that we may have a compassionate understanding of one another.
I feel the mother of all migraines coming on.
Excuse me, Mr. Secretary, but I dont like the wording you just used. Compassionate understanding? Israel was attacked by terrorists, for Gods sake!
Hold on there, Mr. Bolton. You can quit with your God talk. There is nothing wrong with having compassion and feelings for all parties involved here. Ill not have you attack Hezbollah. And I can defend them if I want because I'm part Jewish, you know.
Part Jewish? Excuse me, but wouldnt you and your uglier friend look better in burkas?
Nancy, are you going to let him talk to you like that?
Shush, shut up! I need all of those womens support, you fool!
Can we get on with it? Im tired of standing here.
Well, Mr. Putin, at least you have solid ground to STAND on, unlike the citizens of my country. The hands of my enemies are getting bloodier by the minute.
No blood on my hands. How about yours Assad?
Huh? Sorry, I wasnt paying attention .
Woah! Alright folks, so far this is nothing but a waste of everyones time. Only a fool would believe something can be solved in this so-called Summit.
I agree. Furthermore, Congress should convene immediately and vote to give our President the authority to support Israel militarily against Syria and Iran.
Convened and denied .
Yeah, heres what we think of that idea!
Must you Americans keep dominating this Summit with your undignified mannerisms? Here in France, men and women are very conscious of our behavior and appearance.
Oui, Jacque, oui.
Just kidding, everyone! Thought Id interject a little humor. Hehehehe .
This is the best time Ive had in years .
If I may interrupt. Id like to suggest we get back on track in this very serious business of saving lives and preventing this war from spreading.
Thank you, Tim. I interrupted my fast to be here on behalf of all democrats, communists and brainwashed Americans who are against the Iraq war.
"Thank you, God".
Thank you, Mrs. Sheehan. I cant imagine how you are able to go without food. I couldnt. I agree with you 100% that we should withdraw from Iraq immediately.
Wow, I just thought it was a headache. For some reason, Im able to channel into all the leftist wacko clowns in Washington!
Sorry Im late, everyone. Have I missed anything?
NO, YOU HAVENT!
Hey, does anyone else think its too warm in here?<
I cannot believe Im watching my party self destruct and my Presidential chances crumbling before my very eyes!!!
Have I stumbled into the sequel of One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest?
Harrumph . Come on people, were better than this. Lets put our heads together and figure this out!
If I may say, Senator, this forum isnt working out very well.
Did you guys just here the negative tone of the Secretary of State? The Bush administration doesnt want this Summit to work out! Condi just gave us our talking points for tomorrows news. Everyone get that?
Yes, weve got it, Bill. Brilliant ..
Youre the man, Bill Kellar, and Ill tip my Stetson to that idea. If you need any freelance writing for the Times, you know Ive got the courage.
Screw all of you transparent losers .
Hey, guys! Sorry Im late. Been tied up with the eggs. If Ive missed anything, just email me the talking points.
And people have the gall to make fun of me for using a tanning bed?
Excuse me, Secretary General, but Assad and I have a very important telephone call from an envoy weve sent to Israel. I really have to go now
Private Phone Call ..
Geeze, Ive been waiting forever! What are my instructions?
Vell, dahlings, its off to the blog for me. I vant to share this enlightening experience vith the vorld! If only the Bush administration would try listening for a change.
Well, on that note, I say we all adjourn. I want to celebrate these great soundbites for my show tomorrow and buy everyone the first round of drinks at the Hawk n Dove!
I'll buy the second round and furnish premium cigars for anyone except Clinton.
Bill, weve GOT to do something to focus attention back on ME, er, us! Its not fair that this war is drowning ME, er, us out. Ive got an idea. Pack your bags and meet me at the airport. Dont forget your swim trunks.
Okay, Keller, I need your help....
Why, of course, Mrs. Presi... uh, Mrs. Clinton. As always, anything. Anything at all.
Twenty-four Hours Later in Haifa, Israel
Keller contacted Hezbollah, so we don't have to worry about getting fired on, but where can we dance on this beach and not step on bomb fragments?
Meanwhile on the Iraq/Iran border .
All clear, boss. Good luck!
ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY ARSE OFF
Wow, nice work!
Who is it that has the humor list? You Martin? This is some of the funniest stuff EVER!
Kudos to demkicker. Great work!
Must. See. This. KP!
Need a laugh?!?
my sides hurt!
please add me to that ping list!
wow..awesome..please put me on the ping list for future eforts. Heck..I'll subscribe...
ROFL. Very good.
Knowing how much work is involved to post ONE pic, this must have taken you some time--not to mention the "Brilliant" commentary.
Kudos and please, more, more, more.
Haven't had such a good belly laugh in a lonnnnnng time.
Thanks a million.
NOW THAT'S FUNNY!!!
That last one of mullah bush is very funny. Thanks.
Thanks so much for the compliments. I love laughing and sometimes it's hard to keep a sense of humor in difficult times. Glad it gave you a chuckle.
I've been told Mark Levin is a lurker, sometimes poster. If any of you know how to ping him or any of the conservative media stars in this thread, please feel free to do so.
My sides, my sides! LMAO!
Mark, read this, an do not have any liquids near the keyboard!
Good piece. Thanks!
:) You must have been at that summit taking notes!
That was great!
Very nice work!!!
Thanks for the *ping*
will do on today's Mark Levin thread.
Thanks... I didn't know there was a humor ping list! How can I get my name added to it?
Spread the humor ping....
for your humor pinglists
"Can we get on with it? Im tired of standing here."
This was probably my favorite. You wouldn't want to mess around with Putin. He doesn't even seem like he has a sense of humor to me.
bwwaahhhhhh!! Hilarious, thanks
LOL! Very funny. Putin was my favorite.
I think we found Putin funny because that is what we would see in real life if this summit were actually going to happen.
Looks like a membership list for the Political Screen Actors' Guild...
Yup. He seems so humorless.
I know what you mean. His stance and scowl speak volumes. I was really glad to find that pic!
Got your Private E. Glad mine inspired you to do another. It was your work and that of the guy on Wuzza Dem that inspired me!
I'm crowning you the humor queen. ROTFL!