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A Nation of Wimps
psychology today. ^ | 5 Jul 2006 | Hara Estroff Marano

Posted on 07/29/2006 8:43:38 PM PDT by tbird5

Maybe it's the cyclist in the park, trim under his sleek metallic blue helmet, cruising along the dirt path... at three miles an hour. On his tricycle.

Or perhaps it's today's playground, all-rubber-cushioned surface where kids used to skin their knees. And... wait a minute... those aren't little kids playing. Their mommies—and especially their daddies—are in there with them, coplaying or play-by-play coaching. Few take it half-easy on the perimeter benches, as parents used to do, letting the kids figure things out for themselves.

Then there are the sanitizing gels, with which over a third of parents now send their kids to school, according to a recent survey. Presumably, parents now worry that school bathrooms are not good enough for their children.

Consider the teacher new to an upscale suburban town. Shuffling through the sheaf of reports certifying the educational "accommodations" he was required to make for many of his history students, he was struck by the exhaustive, well-written—and obviously costly—one on behalf of a girl who was already proving among the most competent of his ninth-graders. "She's somewhat neurotic," he confides, "but she is bright, organized and conscientious—the type who'd get to school to turn in a paper on time, even if she were dying of stomach flu." He finally found the disability he was to make allowances for: difficulty with Gestalt thinking. The 13-year-old "couldn't see the big picture." That cleverly devised defect (what 13-year-old can construct the big picture?) would allow her to take all her tests untimed, especially the big one at the end of the rainbow, the college-worthy SAT

(Excerpt) Read more at psychologytoday.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: childhood; childrearing; children; nannystate; society; sociology
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1 posted on 07/29/2006 8:43:39 PM PDT by tbird5
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To: tbird5

It takes a village


2 posted on 07/29/2006 8:45:15 PM PDT by Sam Cree (Don't mix alcopops and ufo's)
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To: tbird5

Here, here.


3 posted on 07/29/2006 8:47:25 PM PDT by Quark606
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To: tbird5

I've also noticed parents standing at the school bus stop with kids - I would have died of shame if I couldn't stand by myself in first grade - now I see fifth graders with their parents....


4 posted on 07/29/2006 8:49:55 PM PDT by gondramB (Named must your fear be before banish it you can.)
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To: tbird5

Every new generation is screwed up, or so the magazines, shrinks, educators and liberals would like us to believe. Brings in new money for pet causes.


5 posted on 07/29/2006 8:52:58 PM PDT by tbird5
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To: gondramB

I was astonished, sort of, to see toddlers walking to school, (pre-school?) alone, for blocks in downtown Seoul, South Korea. They smoke in elevators there too.


6 posted on 07/29/2006 8:55:31 PM PDT by Freedom4US
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To: Freedom4US

Not the toddlers... *thwap*


7 posted on 07/29/2006 8:56:05 PM PDT by Freedom4US
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To: tbird5

Our oldest will be 23 in November; our youngest just turned nine. One example of the 'wimpifying' of this younger generation...our little guy gets a trophy just for showing up play soccer/baseball/basketball. Everyone gets the same trophy at the end of the season...whether they win or lose. His regular season of baseball is over and they are now playing tournament ball. One of the organizations had the coaches review the score book and select an MVP from each team at each game...several parents on my sons' team said they didn't like going to that tourny (and don't want to go back next year) because 'singling' kids out on ability makes others 'feel bad.' Unbelievable...but I can tell you how proud my son was when he got one (two innings pitched and five KOs)...he knew he did really well and deserved it. The PC rules don't fool the kids for long...


8 posted on 07/29/2006 8:58:22 PM PDT by PennsylvaniaMom (Take the high road...the view is always better.)
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To: Sam Cree
Nice to see this from Psychology Today, since the profession has been somewhat responsible for creating Wimp Nation in the first place. Perhaps they are waking up.
9 posted on 07/29/2006 9:07:17 PM PDT by SteveMcKing
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To: Sam Cree
Every time somebody says it takes a village to raise a child, I say yea, OK, but it takes families to make a village.
10 posted on 07/29/2006 9:08:18 PM PDT by calljack (Sometimes your worst nightmare is just a start.)
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To: PennsylvaniaMom

When everyone is special, then no one is special.


11 posted on 07/29/2006 9:10:57 PM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: tbird5
Then there are the sanitizing gels, with which over a third of parents now send their kids to school, according to a recent survey. Presumably, parents now worry that school bathrooms are not good enough for their children.

These people would **** their pants if they saw some of the ponds my brothers and I swam in when we were kids. All three of us have never been all that sick - we rarely get the flu or a cold. Could be good genes, but we also shared a big bedroom when I was younger, and when one of us caught something (chicken pox for instance), nobody slept downstairs - my mother was very adamant about that, and we all usually got sick - she could have kept us seperated at the first sign of whatever, and it would have made her life easier (not to have three boys sick at the same time), but she said we'd appreciate it later on, and we did and do.

I see people literally sanitizing their tables at restaurants for these kids.

Oh well, what do you expect - where once we were a nation of pioneers, we are now a nation of settlers.
12 posted on 07/29/2006 9:14:04 PM PDT by af_vet_rr
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To: af_vet_rr

I would welcome the germs from any pond.

But, when you live in an illegal gateway community...and those kids don't get immunized....the gel comes along.


13 posted on 07/29/2006 9:16:59 PM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: calljack

It takes a village to raise an idiot.


14 posted on 07/29/2006 9:17:29 PM PDT by 308MBR ( "She pulled up her petticoat, and I pulled out for Tulsa!" Abstinence training from Bob Wills.)
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To: gondramB

hey wait a minute you dont think child molesters dont watch the bus stops looking for the chance to snatch a child?where do you live? in a walgreens commercial?


15 posted on 07/29/2006 9:19:15 PM PDT by HANG THE EXPENSE (Defeat liberalism, its the right thing to do for America.)
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To: gondramB
I've also noticed parents standing at the school bus stop with kids - I would have died of shame if I couldn't stand by myself in first grade - now I see fifth graders with their parents....

When I was in the first grade, the shortcut for us to the bus stop (this was out in the boonies in central Texas) involved crossing two barbed wire fences and a fairly rickety bridge across a creek, and I see tons of parents waiting before school and after school to drop off or pick up theirs kids - I understand if there are special circumstances, but I have a feeling a lot of these older kids should be taking on more responsibility.
16 posted on 07/29/2006 9:22:35 PM PDT by af_vet_rr
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To: imahawk

>>hey wait a minute you dont think child molesters dont watch the bus stops looking for the chance to snatch a child?where do you live? in a walgreens commercial?<<

I know the risk is not zero but what percent of child molestation are at bus stops? Almost all of them are people that the kids know, not strangers.

Besides if they cant stand for 10 minutes at a bus stop then they probably don't get to play freely either - that makes for a totally changed experience being a child.


17 posted on 07/29/2006 9:23:12 PM PDT by gondramB (Named must your fear be before banish it you can.)
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To: tbird5
These kids need to get out into the wild and
learn how to stune their very own beebers


18 posted on 07/29/2006 9:23:25 PM PDT by HangnJudge
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To: tbird5

"Presumably, parents now worry that school bathrooms are not good enough for their children."

All I know is that in the years since I stopped being around kids, I haven't had a single illness.


19 posted on 07/29/2006 9:23:54 PM PDT by gcruse (http://gcruse.typepad.com)
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To: gondramB; imahawk

Watch? Heck! We are so tuff where we live, we let the child molesters DRIVE the bus!

http://losangeles.fbi.gov/pressrel/2006/la072606.htm

Excerpt:

A website known as www.namgla.net was closed for business Tuesday by the FBI as part of its Innocent Images National Initiative targeting child pornography networks operating globally using the Internet.

(snip)

In addition, two subjects were arrested in connection with child pornography charges – Russell Christie III, age 48, a school bus driver residing in New Jersey; and Thomas Herman, age 65, a convicted sex offender in Washington State. This operation has also resulted in several investigations at the state level regarding alleged child sex abuse.

(snip)

Russell Christie III drove for First Student Bus Company that serviced my private school district.


20 posted on 07/29/2006 9:24:15 PM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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save


21 posted on 07/29/2006 9:26:08 PM PDT by krunkygirl
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To: gondramB

>>>I know the risk is not zero but what percent of child molestation are at bus stops? Almost all of them are people that the kids know, not strangers.


hmmm, good luck with that!


22 posted on 07/29/2006 9:26:50 PM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: Calpernia

Me: I know the risk is not zero but what percent of child molestation are at bus stops? Almost all of them are people that the kids know, not strangers.


Calpernia: hmmm, good luck with that!

------

Yep, its easier for people to "fear the stranger" than to recognize that the molester is more likely to be an uncle or a baby sitter or a little league coach.


23 posted on 07/29/2006 9:29:08 PM PDT by gondramB (Named must your fear be before banish it you can.)
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To: PennsylvaniaMom
...but I can tell you how proud my son was when he got one (two innings pitched and five KOs)...

What did he do? punch them in the face? No wonder the parents don't want to bring their kids back!!! Your kid sounds like trouble...

24 posted on 07/29/2006 9:31:35 PM PDT by Captainpaintball (Congress is more afraid of nail guns and illegal aliens than law abiding American citizens)
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To: gondramB

And you didn't read post 20?


25 posted on 07/29/2006 9:33:13 PM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: tbird5

And these wimps will certainly be no match for the Islamic fanatics much less the Criminal elements in our own Society which are being imported by the Administration in massive numbers. May God help us.


26 posted on 07/29/2006 9:33:38 PM PDT by BnBlFlag (Deo Vindice/Semper Fidelis "Ya gotta saddle up your boys; Ya gotta draw a hard line")
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To: BnBlFlag

And our children were made wimps by the powers that be who import them.


27 posted on 07/29/2006 9:34:34 PM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: tbird5

Virginia's Portmann feels the effects are even more pernicious; they weaken the whole fabric of society. He sees young people becoming weaker right before his eyes, more responsive to the herd, too eager to fit in—less assertive in the classroom, unwilling to disagree with their peers, afraid to question authority, more willing to conform to the expectations of those on the next rung of power above them.

A child learning to appease external authority rather than learning to trust hiss and her own authority.

The stressful world of cutthroat competition that parents see their kids facing may not even exist. Or it exists, but more in their mind than in reality—not quite a fiction, more like a distorting mirror. "Parents perceive the world as a terribly competitive place," observes Anderegg. "And many of them project that onto their children when they're the ones who live or work in a competitive environment. They then imagine that their children must be swimming in a big shark tank, too."

There is no cut throat competition nor is competition a terrible thing. Though it may appear that way to "whimpified" parents. Competition is pursuit of self interest. It's not cutthroat revenge. 

There are kids who are worth worrying about—kids in poverty, stresses Anderegg. "We focus so much on our own children," says Elkind, "It's time to begin caring about all children."

The author prescribes appeasing external authority of the establishment over internal authority of the individual.

It took eight pages for the author, Hara Estroff Marano, to support his (her?) final solution. Which is not a solution at all. But rather, a continuation of the problem.

28 posted on 07/29/2006 9:35:24 PM PDT by Zon (Honesty outlives the lie, spin and deception -- It always has -- It always will.)
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To: Calpernia

>>And you didn't read post 20?<<

No, I didn't - that's terrible but not as unusual as it ought to be.


29 posted on 07/29/2006 9:35:44 PM PDT by gondramB (Named must your fear be before banish it you can.)
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To: tbird5
The nanny state just gets worse all of the time. The left wants people dependent on them, it wins elections. The plan was to start with the children, cradle to grave. They have accomplished their goal, and the real freedom we have lost is not to the Patriot Act, but to these freaks.
30 posted on 07/29/2006 9:36:30 PM PDT by ladyinred (The NYTimes, hang 'em high!)
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To: gondramB

Excerpt from a different source:

http://www.nj.com/printer/printer.ssf?/base/news-8/1153978754247060.xml&coll=1

A representative of First Student, which serves schools throughout New Jersey, including the Andover, Green and Fredon areas, declined to comment. She referred questions about Christie to the busing company's regional office, which could not be reached for comment.

As part of the FBI sweep, officials searched 35 locations, including the homes and workplaces of suspects. The investigation was conducted by agents and task force officers in 24 FBI field offices in 20 states: Arizona, California, Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, New Jersey, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oregon, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin.




Watch for NAMGLA news near you....

BTW, NAMGLA links to many other sites....and fetishes


31 posted on 07/29/2006 9:40:26 PM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: gondramB

.....true.....but in our day.....I'm 49, you could go play down the street.....walk to school or go out for Halloween without being molested, snatched etc.....I don't blame these days for watching the kids closer.....more whackos out there


32 posted on 07/29/2006 9:43:12 PM PDT by NorCalRepub
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To: Calpernia

>>NAMGLA<<

So is that a play on NAMBLA?


33 posted on 07/29/2006 9:50:22 PM PDT by gondramB (Named must your fear be before banish it you can.)
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To: NorCalRepub

>>.....true.....but in our day.....I'm 49, you could go play down the street.....walk to school or go out for Halloween without being molested, snatched etc.....I don't blame these days for watching the kids closer.....more whackos out there<<

I know it can't go back - we played in every house and every back yard on the street except one old man's house. Kids aren't gonna know that world....


34 posted on 07/29/2006 9:51:59 PM PDT by gondramB (Named must your fear be before banish it you can.)
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To: gondramB

In May this year the body of a 13 year old girl was finally found. She disappeared from the bus stop. The bus's video camera showed her getting off the bus. The stop was almost in front of her house. She disappeared the week before Thanksgiving. Her parents both wish they'd have met that bus. A neighbor is charged with her murder.


35 posted on 07/29/2006 9:54:48 PM PDT by Vor Lady
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To: HangnJudge

Great book by the way.


36 posted on 07/29/2006 9:55:33 PM PDT by Vor Lady
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To: gondramB

AND more!


37 posted on 07/29/2006 9:58:37 PM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: Grannyx4

>>In May this year the body of a 13 year old girl was finally found. She disappeared from the bus stop. The bus's video camera showed her getting off the bus. The stop was almost in front of her house. She disappeared the week before Thanksgiving. Her parents both wish they'd have met that bus. A neighbor is charged with her murder.<<

That's horrible. Its a tragedy. And no matter when it happened I'm sure the parents would wish they had prevented it. But it was still a neighbor - there would have been other opportunities.

I don't particularly care if parent wait for the school bus - I care that we are so protective we are raising a generation harmed by our efforts to prevent harm.


38 posted on 07/29/2006 9:59:23 PM PDT by gondramB (Named must your fear be before banish it you can.)
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To: gondramB

>>>I care that we are so protective we are raising a generation harmed by our efforts to prevent harm.

And I absolutely agree with that. BUT, that environment was created that made this an issue. My children cannot play in front of our house without supervision. Gangstas walk the streets.

I never saw a real gangsta when I was growing up. Now, child molesters are registered within 2 blocks of our home.


39 posted on 07/29/2006 10:04:11 PM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: gondramB
I care that we are so protective we are raising a generation harmed by our efforts to prevent harm

I actually agree with you, I scanned the thread and by the time I got my response written and posted, I saw your point. Our society has been feminized and whimpified to the point of ridiculousness.

40 posted on 07/29/2006 10:04:44 PM PDT by Vor Lady
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To: Calpernia

>>
I never saw a real gangsta when I was growing up. Now, child molesters are registered within 2 blocks of our home.<<

i wonder if there are really more child molesters or if people just report it more and it gets prosecuted more.

There was a time in Georgia where if a 14 year got pregnant by a 20 year old, they were forced to get married - that doesn't mean it wasn't the same kind of problem, just with a different, bad solution.


41 posted on 07/29/2006 10:06:49 PM PDT by gondramB (Named must your fear be before banish it you can.)
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To: gondramB

I send my kids to their bus stop alone....but I sometimes feel guilty when they talk about the other mothers who are down there.


42 posted on 07/29/2006 10:18:52 PM PDT by Politicalmom (Nearly 1% of illegals are in prison for felonies. Less than 1/10 of 1% of the legal population is.)
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To: gondramB

Considering my state has turned into an illegal gateway only since the past 8 years...

I would MORE child molesters.

Take a look at ICE.gov and see how related the two are.

ICE had to combine an operation safe child unit with the illegal alien work because of how profitable sex tourism and human trafficking is.


43 posted on 07/29/2006 10:19:01 PM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: tbird5

Excellent article. Thanks. Especially enjoyed the section on cell phones. My wife & I often talk about how kids w/ cell phones often escape having to make decisions on their own.


44 posted on 07/29/2006 10:28:22 PM PDT by Troublemaker
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To: Politicalmom

>>I send my kids to their bus stop alone....but I sometimes feel guilty when they talk about the other mothers who are down there.<<

I know it must be tough - I just have a younger brother to consider and that's tough enough. I was a high school teacher and even though I tried to be even handed, I know I treated the girls a bit different - a boy could come in, shut the door and and get counseling (which they rarely wanted) or just a sympathetic ear.

If a girl came in, I made sure the door stayed open.

The issue of sex is just present and influential in a way that is different now - it effects lots of things and sometimes there is no good choice.


45 posted on 07/29/2006 10:44:06 PM PDT by gondramB (Named must your fear be before banish it you can.)
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To: Calpernia

>>Considering my state has turned into an illegal gateway only since the past 8 years...

I would MORE child molesters. <<

Good point - probably inside the illegal community itself too - undocumented girls and young women are vulnerable.


46 posted on 07/29/2006 10:45:37 PM PDT by gondramB (Named must your fear be before banish it you can.)
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To: tbird5
I still hold in my ice cold heart the hope that the PC whimps will die off for fear of global warming.
47 posted on 07/29/2006 11:51:13 PM PDT by Dawggie
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To: tbird5

Too wimpy to stand and fight the Muslim terrorists like we should until they nuke us or something


48 posted on 07/30/2006 12:16:22 AM PDT by GeronL
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To: Freedom4US

Toddlers should not smoke.


49 posted on 07/30/2006 12:17:03 AM PDT by GeronL
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To: gondramB
I know it can't go back...

Which generation of parents (if any) allowed this to happen? Were we too complacent? Somehow I think we just went about our daily living...didn't bother to give the time to or effort to fight the encroaching evil.

Are the present generation of parents doing the same thing?

50 posted on 07/30/2006 12:48:00 AM PDT by IIntense
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