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Sporks Are Godlike
Sporks Are Godlike ^ | Since 1995 | Justin W. Merry

Posted on 08/05/2006 6:29:17 AM PDT by dirtboy

Here it is, your complete spork reference

Hey, it's a slow news day, gotta come up with SOMETHING.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: awjeeznotthisagain; spork; sporks; sporkweasels
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1 posted on 08/05/2006 6:29:18 AM PDT by dirtboy
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To: dirtboy

Would a spork be the sister to a foon?


2 posted on 08/05/2006 6:31:44 AM PDT by Doctor Stochastic (Vegetabilisch = chaotisch ist der Charakter der Modernen. - Friedrich Schlegel)
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To: dirtboy

LOL!!!


3 posted on 08/05/2006 6:32:20 AM PDT by dljordan
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To: dirtboy

A Spife?


4 posted on 08/05/2006 6:34:58 AM PDT by markoman (The man with the rubber glove was....surprisingly gentle.)
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To: Doctor Stochastic

The German word for five is funf...pronounced FOONF...In Englisn it refers to a FOrk/spOON/kniFE.


5 posted on 08/05/2006 6:35:47 AM PDT by bannie (HILLARY: Not all perversions are sexual.)
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To: dirtboy

Just make one out of 18/8 stainless steel and I'll be happy.

This little plastic object of imminent destruction just ain't cutting it for anything outside the mass produced cafeteria bullsh!t beef stroganoff or 'faux' pizza it is currently used for.


6 posted on 08/05/2006 6:40:37 AM PDT by Reform4Bush
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To: Doctor Stochastic; dirtboy

Would a spork be the sister to a foon?


Isn't that just a foonist! always trying to compare the lowly inferior foon to the might Spork!
One day (and soon) you foonist will get yours...and it won't be pretty.


7 posted on 08/05/2006 6:41:50 AM PDT by Valin (http://www.irey.com/)
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To: dirtboy

I always thought it was the love child of Mr. Spock and a fork. Learn something new everyday...


8 posted on 08/05/2006 6:43:53 AM PDT by 12th_Monkey
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To: dirtboy

All your spork are belong to us. :)


9 posted on 08/05/2006 6:44:10 AM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
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To: dirtboy

I was looking for a reference to spork weasel and ... nothing. The mystery continues ... *sigh*


10 posted on 08/05/2006 6:45:22 AM PDT by JustaDumbBlonde
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To: dirtboy

Haha, very funny.
Now I got to go change the Spork plugs in my truck,
they keep getting fowled with weasel fur.


11 posted on 08/05/2006 6:45:43 AM PDT by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: dirtboy
OMG! I have this feeling that this thread is going to be worse than BBQ, mayonnaise, and should toilet paper come from the top or the bottom threads!!
Oh the Humanity!!!
12 posted on 08/05/2006 6:46:45 AM PDT by tiredoflaundry (Praying for Israel)
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To: dirtboy

Spork Weasels rip my Flesh was Frank Zotta greatest album.

That and Sea Zotta Crappa.


13 posted on 08/05/2006 6:47:01 AM PDT by usmcobra (Hey Stand, who's standing in Lee Circle?)
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To: dirtboy

Hey! I just realized this ties in with the Obscenely Large
Telescope thread , it's all about finding the Spork of Life
on other planets.


14 posted on 08/05/2006 6:47:36 AM PDT by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

I am impress!


15 posted on 08/05/2006 6:47:53 AM PDT by Straight8
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To: dirtboy
Hmmm! A foon must be a spork used by a buffoon. That's the ticket!
16 posted on 08/05/2006 6:48:45 AM PDT by jonrick46
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To: tiredoflaundry

should toilet paper come from the top or the bottom threads!!

Don't be rediculous, toilet paper isn't made from thread.
Are you trying to Spork a fight?


17 posted on 08/05/2006 6:49:22 AM PDT by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: tet68

LOL!


18 posted on 08/05/2006 6:50:24 AM PDT by tiredoflaundry (Praying for Israel)
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To: Doctor Stochastic
Would a spork be the sister to a foon?

And distant cousin to the skort --a miniskirt with shorts sewn into them.

I hate skorts. They are deceiving.

19 posted on 08/05/2006 6:51:12 AM PDT by Drew68
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To: JustaDumbBlonde
I was looking for a reference to spork weasel and ... nothing. The mystery continues ... *sigh*

Me too. I just know it has something to do with the answer to life, the universe and everything.

20 posted on 08/05/2006 6:51:21 AM PDT by DejaJude (Admiral Clark said, "Our mantra today is life, liberty and the pursuit of those who threaten it!")
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To: Drew68
You twart a skort when they lie to you.
21 posted on 08/05/2006 6:53:45 AM PDT by dirtboy (Why does Israel take border security seriously but we do not, when Islamists wish us both harm?)
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To: dighton

"Bork, b ... er -- spork, spork, spork!"

22 posted on 08/05/2006 6:54:24 AM PDT by MozarkDawg
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To: dirtboy

Duplicate thread.


23 posted on 08/05/2006 6:57:12 AM PDT by RedRover (Just kidding...)
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To: dirtboy

Behold the Foon!

24 posted on 08/05/2006 6:59:30 AM PDT by Physicist
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To: dirtboy
I was always under the impression that the Spork was invented by Colonel Sanders of KFC fame.

Is there a better meal to show off the strengths of the spork than some extra crispy chicken, with sides of mashed potatos, gravy and cole slaw?

"I give you this! The Spork!"

25 posted on 08/05/2006 7:00:23 AM PDT by TC Rider (The United States Constitution 1791. All Rights Reserved.)
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To: dirtboy
The problem with the modern spork is that it has evolved too far. By shortening the fork part to make room for a long knife edge they overlook principle rule of meat cutting - it should be done with to hands.

I prefer the 1900 version along with a knife - the tines look more usable.
26 posted on 08/05/2006 7:02:19 AM PDT by gondramB (Named must your fear be before banish it you can.)
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To: dirtboy

What? A spork is a runcible spoon!


27 posted on 08/05/2006 7:02:26 AM PDT by Pete from Shawnee Mission
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To: Doctor Stochastic

You're thinking of a pewfter's froth. Spork is more like a queef without so much splooge on it.


28 posted on 08/05/2006 7:06:20 AM PDT by Blogatron (- Automated Freeping Device. (Please insert 2 cents for the next rightist harangue))
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To: Reform4Bush
Check out Knork.
29 posted on 08/05/2006 7:09:02 AM PDT by kitchen (Over gunned? Hell, that's better than the alternative!)
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To: RedRover
Duplicate thread.

I prefer two-ply thread myself.

30 posted on 08/05/2006 7:09:38 AM PDT by DejaJude (Admiral Clark said, "Our mantra today is life, liberty and the pursuit of those who threaten it!")
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To: kitchen
The Knork is also beneficial to persons having motor skill disabilities, use of only a single hand Instant turn-off.
31 posted on 08/05/2006 7:13:15 AM PDT by Reform4Bush
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To: dirtboy
I'm surprised these haven't been banned because of their relatively sharp points.

Maybe the trial lawyers haven't thought of that yet. A spork is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

We already know how dangerous hot coffee in styrofoam cups can be (McDonald's paid dearly for that lesson). We must be protected from these lethal weapons.

Senator Specter needs to hold immediate hearings. Senator McCain needs to introduce an anti-spork bill.
32 posted on 08/05/2006 7:18:25 AM PDT by TomGuy
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To: dirtboy; PJ-Comix

Got a spork in that handy pack?


33 posted on 08/05/2006 7:18:50 AM PDT by GeronL (http://www.mises.org/story/1975 <--no such thing as a fairtax)
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To: DejaJude

In New York, a two-ply thread is also known as a throp.


34 posted on 08/05/2006 7:19:03 AM PDT by RedRover
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To: dirtboy; Peanut Gallery
The Planetary Defense Strategy

ROFLOL

35 posted on 08/05/2006 7:20:40 AM PDT by Professional Engineer (Tea, Earl Grey, more than lukewarm ,but not boiling either.)
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To: dirtboy
Sporks are the best way
to eat chili tamales.
Ummm! (Is it lunch yet?)

36 posted on 08/05/2006 7:21:42 AM PDT by theFIRMbss
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To: dirtboy


American Spork
37 posted on 08/05/2006 7:24:12 AM PDT by reagan_fanatic (Get off my lawn!)
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To: Reform4Bush

Just make one out of 18/8 stainless steel and I'll be happy.

-

Titanium ok?:

http://www.campmor.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?productId=24544148


38 posted on 08/05/2006 7:24:31 AM PDT by Cringing Negativism Network (Earliest known photo of John Bolton: http://www.twainquotes.com/homequote2.jpg :)
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To: dirtboy

i don't buy the "evolution of the spork" garbage... usually a thing evolves from "big and clumsy" to "sleek and useful", not the other way around ... a spork, as it is presented, would never have survived meals for thousands of years because of its unwieldy nature (ie-it tries to do too much- something to puncture and grab meat as well as being curvaceous for the delicate job of sipping soup) ... it makes more sense that the spork split off somewhere along the line and became the modern day spoon AND the modern day fork...I contend that Col Harlen Sanders was nothing more than a 20th century Luddite .....please quit relying on junk science for your "facts"


39 posted on 08/05/2006 7:30:06 AM PDT by InvisibleChurch (No.... wire .... hangers!)
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To: kitchen
Check out Knork.

Don't use the Knork, you'll kill yourself!

40 posted on 08/05/2006 7:30:53 AM PDT by DejaJude (Admiral Clark said, "Our mantra today is life, liberty and the pursuit of those who threaten it!")
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To: Reform4Bush
I don't know what the numbers mean but Oneida needs to put sporks in their silverware sets. I must say that site has quite the detailed list of where to get sporks.
41 posted on 08/05/2006 7:37:30 AM PDT by A knight without armor
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To: DejaJude
"Check out Knork."

knork knork.

Who's there?

(etc.)
42 posted on 08/05/2006 7:44:03 AM PDT by Nik Naym
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To: JustaDumbBlonde

"Eek, the spork weasel."

I heard a rumor that this is it.

43 posted on 08/05/2006 7:54:26 AM PDT by mollynme (cogito, ergo freepum)
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To: dirtboy

Spork. The Other Bite Neat


44 posted on 08/05/2006 8:07:13 AM PDT by small voice in the wilderness (Quick, act casual...if they sense scorn or ridicule, they'll flee)
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To: tiredoflaundry

"should toilet paper come from the top or the bottom"

That depends on whether or not you have a cat.


45 posted on 08/05/2006 8:11:38 AM PDT by Excellence (Since November 6, 1998)
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To: Pete from Shawnee Mission

"........they dined on mince,and slices of quince,which they ate with a runcible spoon......"

'The Owl & the Pussycat'


46 posted on 08/05/2006 8:37:45 AM PDT by Armigerous ( Non permitte illegitimi te carborundum- "Don't let the bastards grind you down")
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To: dirtboy
Here's a knife-fork-spoon:
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us
From the same company that makes the Ice Cream Ball:
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us
Which is also pretty cool. You put ice and salt in one end, the ice cream ingredients in the other, then play around with the ball until the ice cream is done.
47 posted on 08/05/2006 8:50:12 AM PDT by avg_freeper (Gunga galunga. Gunga, gunga galunga)
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To: Excellence

The toilet paper debate is a non-issue.

It's simple, really - just look at what side printed paper is printed on. Then if you want to put it on backwards - well hey - it's a free country.


48 posted on 08/05/2006 9:07:30 AM PDT by The Coopster
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To: MozarkDawg; dirtboy; Constitution Day
Be not deceived. Sporks are a hellish tool of Satin.
49 posted on 08/05/2006 9:11:26 AM PDT by dighton
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To: TomGuy
I'm surprised these haven't been banned because of their relatively sharp points.

I'm not sure, but I think that "assault sporks" are illegal in Connecticut (although they may be allowable if they don't have bayonet attachments, flash hiders, or detachable mags).

The Federal ban may have sunset, but the Connecticut ban remains in place.

50 posted on 08/05/2006 9:53:14 AM PDT by The Electrician ("Government is the only enterprise in the world which expands in size when its failures increase.")
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